Show cover of Elis James and John Robins

Elis James and John Robins

Join terrestrial radio's most unproduceable presenters Elis James and John Robins for big laughs and top quality #content. Hilarious, warm and unashamedly ashamed, let their award-winning chemistry get you over the finish line of the working week. Email: #elisandjohn


#291 - Mancunian Positive John (Bonus #Content)
Ryder Cup action is taking over BBC 5 Live, meaning there was no live show from Elis James and John Robins this week... But fear not, as we have a right treat in store for you. You've heard 'Desert Islands Discs'... You've enjoyed the audio soundscape that is 'The Archers'... But in this special bonus podcast you're about to hear something that nobody has ever dared to attempt due to the sheer level of broadcasting prowess required to pull it off. That's right, prepare to experience one presenter doing an impression of all four members of The Beatles whilst another presenter hand grinds their own coffee beans. Enjoy!
41:35 29/09/2023
#290 - Giftshop Gripes, D-Reamits and We Go To Tunbridge Wells
With John embarking on a 200+ date world tour taking in Salford, Canterbury, Huddersfield, and then Salford again, the man whose modus operandi is emotionally hefty comedy requires a mental break every so often. However, not one to let the listener miss out on their weekly dose of #content he insisted on making Elis and Producer Dave join him to pre-record a show. If there's one thing he ain't, it's dedicated! As well as all the usual fun, Elis gets vocal in his sleep and channels the 'Voice of the Balls', and John cuts through the noise on the failures of parenting.
99:22 22/09/2023
#289 - Primary Porkies, Theatre Thickos and Fun In The Fens
Look up the word 'content' in the Oxford English Dictionary and it reads "n. Elis James and John Robins' show on BBC Radio 5 Live, 2-4pm 15th September 2023". For what a busy week it's been for Messrs James and Robins! Elis both continues his quest to become Carmarthenshire's most cultured man AND finds time to grace several Baltic states, whilst John has played Norwich's smallest venue not once but twice(!). We are also graced with a truly classic(al) theme tune, a 24 karat gold stick it on the mantelpiece Shame Well and some city-sized news from Dave.
121:52 15/09/2023
#288 - Auction Action, DI Dre and Thought Knox
For the first time in what’s felt like years Elis, John and Producer Dave were finally reunited in Central London this week, and just like any other family reunion a wide range of emotions were experienced during the show: excitement (from John checking on the Freddie Mercury auction), frustration (from Producer Dave, because John kept checking on the Freddie Mercury auction), and love (from Elis, amazed at John’s dedication to checking in on the Freddie Mercury auction). Away from all the Queen chat, Robbie Knox - the brand new landlord of The Moon Under Water - stopped by to say hello before submitting a law into the Petty Parliament, a DI Robbyns cover to rival Goldie Lookin' Chain was sent in by a listener, Producer Dave shared his drumming ambitions and the BBC canteen benefitted from a massive cake order (eventually).
125:13 08/09/2023
#287 - Memoirhahas, Cat Flap Chaos and Tessellation Turmoil
After a month long loan deal expired, Edinburgh returned John Robins. So Robins, free from the Scottish capital's creative buzz and extortionate rental prices returned to the studio... to broadcast to Britain and the world. But today he was not with his companion of norm. With Elis away on a sojourn for Isy's birthday, Lou Sanders filled his boots to a supreme degree. The expert on self herself. And what a breath of fresh electric car air she brought. Meanwhile, John tabled some big stepdad energy, we interact with a spirited antipodean and, in a world first, Dave gets shouted down while reading the rules to a Made Up Game.
119:49 01/09/2023
#286 - Sesame Oil Surfeits, Nature's Printer and Seagull Supporters
It’s been some month for Johnny JR. Not only did he decide to take on the mammoth task of performing over 700 stand up shows across 31 days, he also remained dedicated to representing 5 Live right from the heart of the Edinburgh Fringe. But with the finish line in sight, and his spirit slowly dwindling, there was just enough time to squeeze in one final live broadcast: and what could make him feel better than having his housemate for the festival, Rob Auton, critique John on his living standards?! As well as being joined by one of the finest comics out there, Elis shared his love of haggis, Producer Dave struggled to imitate his own voice numerous times, and there was a Made Up Game that went right down to the wire (featuring one of the biggest bottle-jobs of all time).
110:31 25/08/2023
#285 - Elis and John Live from Edinburgh
Elis and John venture to both the final boss and tutorial of the comedy world. That's right... Edinburgh! To mark the occasion a live audience descended on Scotland's premier planetarium / part-time comedy venue / largest interactive visitor attraction, and a show of Knebworth level proportions ensued. For these versatile entertainers the smell of the crowd, the taste of the laughter, and the lack of a live live broadcast brought out 20% more playfulness than when shackled away in a studio; lucky for you listening on the podcast. Comics Ania Magliano and David O'Doherty grace us with their wit, the team make real hard work of a Made Up Game and John redefines stand-up.
101:05 18/08/2023
#284 - Maximum Mystery, Trainecdotes and Internal Risk Assessments
With Elis taking a much deserved holiday, this week John found himself all alone in Edinburgh. But just as it looked like the faders were going to be opened without someone there to act as the ying to his yang, someone walked into the studio not just full of pep… but be-ploughmanned. Who would be so daring as to eat such a meal whilst broadcasting to the nation? Well, obviously there’s only one answer to that question: it was this week's guest co-presenter and all round legend Ivo Graham! With John and Ivo presenting live and direct from the Scottish capital you just knew there was going to be a whole host of fun on today’s show. Janine Harouni joined the guys to chat about her Fringe experience so far and submit a law into Petty Parliament, Producer Dave tried to SILENCE the news, Ivo attempted to fill in for Elis on DI Robbyns and John realised that he might not love pickled eggs as much as he once thought.
129:21 11/08/2023
#283 - Minor Key Comedy, Same Old Larkin and Frank Skinner
The Edinburgh Fringe. The centre of the comedy universe. And the beaming hot star at the centre of said universe, of which every other planet orbits, is the gas giant that is John Robins. Although he’s performing two shows per day whilst up in Scotland he’s still committed to providing the nation with much needed radio. Elis and Producer Dave? Well, they’re holding the fort in London, thus showing that Radio 5 Live truly is the voice of the nation. But it’s not just John who was in our studio north of the border. The legend that is Frank Skinner dropped by to talk about his new show, as well as enacting a law into Petty Parliament. Plus, there's a Made Up Game resembling a comedian’s fever dream, Tony Livesey reveals his bizarre showering routine, and the Brandy Lady makes another appearance.
128:57 04/08/2023
#282 - Oldroyd Sorbet, #Biceps and A Macchichatiato
As the old saying goes “distance makes the heart grow fonder”. But after taking a three week break from live radio in order to make way for 5 Live’s world beating sports coverage, Elis and John proved something else: “distance makes the arms grow beefier”. Yes, 21 days off the radio has given Johnny JR plenty of time to continue his journey to becoming the world's buffest man, and the guys returned to the studio ready to crush any topic put in front of them (though to be honest, given how pumped he looks John was definitely leading the charge). There was a Made Up Game that focused on Elis’s often negative mentality to competition, John hounded his co-presenter about something he’d recently had bestowed upon him, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City takes a hit in Petty Parliament, and the single greatest piece of audio ever recorded wass sent into the show… You knows it.
124:19 28/07/2023
#281 - It’s A Blunderful Life (Bonus #Content)
With #Sport once again keeping our hosts off the airwaves of 5 Live, we find Elis, John and Producer Dave in fine fettle as things remain ‘loosey goosey’ for one final week with this bonus podcast. Elis blows our minds with a blunder revelation that leaves everyone reeling, John comes close to admitting there may be such a thing as too much golf, and Producer Dave enters a Peter Beagrie (Man City, 94-97) reverie whilst painting his garage.
63:05 21/07/2023
#280 - Suit, Shoes and Swimming Trunks (Bonus #Content)
There's a real broadcasting buffet on offer today from Elis, John and Producer Dave, as they once again humbly stepped aside so the nation could continue to follow the historic Wimbledon tennis tournament uninterrupted; and given they were provided with the world's vaguest running order, who knew which direction the conversation was going to meander. Thankfully for you, listener, it wended its way right into your hearts and minds (and also your podcast feeds). A listener sends in a banging remix of everyone's favourite theme tune, John loses his calm about the prospect of calming himself down, Elis shares his recent 'Double Blur' experience, and Producer Dave provides the guys with some more listener Qs that need an A.
48:59 14/07/2023
#279 - CCC: Customer Condiment Control (Bonus #Content)
ELIS AND JOHN LIVE AT THE EDINBURGH FRINGE IS NOW FULLY BOOKED BBC 5 Live is committed to providing every single type of content out there. Tennis? Check. Golf? You bet! Pétanque? Give it time. So when Elis and John were informed that they weren't going to be on air for a few weeks to make way for more classic world-beating sporting coverage it came as no surprise, and thankfully plans had already been put in place to make sure that you the you the listener weren't left short on your weekly quota of chat. In this free-flow podcast the guys share an exciting announcement, there's more ploughman's correspondence, Dave hosts a listener-driven Q&A, and there's a discussion around the sports most suitable for radio.
56:03 07/07/2023
#278 - Stage Time Stresses, Dignity Biscuits and A Barrel of Eggs
Elis and John aren’t on air for a large portion of July, as 5 Live continues to fill its public service broadcasting remit by providing world-beating sports coverage. With their holidays just around the corner (don’t worry, there’ll still be weekly bonus podcasts for you all to enjoy) an air of giddy excitement descended on the studio, with Producer Dave pulling out all the stops to try and tame radio’s most unproducable duo. There was a Made Up Game for the biscuit purists amongst you, a Petty Parliament suggestion that was met with unanimous agreement, there was ANOTHER twist in 'DI Robbyns', and the guys put poor Nick Wallis through his paces during his first ever appearance on the show (sorry Mrs Wallis).
112:42 30/06/2023
#277 - Glastonbury Gripes, Fiscal Vasectomies and Perfect Ploughmi
Recently, dreams turning into reality has become quite a regular occurrence on the show. First, John became the buffest broadcaster in Britain. Then, Producer Dave’s beloved Manchester City won the Champions League for the first time, completing a historic treble. But today, the biggest of dreams was realised… That’s right: everyone’s favourite support cigarette - Fagsy - was brought to life, and the feeling of love in the studio was palpable. Elsewhere, there’s a Made Up Game all about Glastonburys gone by, a Petty Parliament caller dials in with a Glastonbury practice that he wants outlawed, Elis reminisces about a time he went to Glastonbury, and John has some rather interesting thoughts on the world-beating Glastonbury coverage being provided by the BBC across the Glastonbury festival.
110:04 23/06/2023
#276 - King Vinegar, Precinct Penchants and the Magic of Chiles
The ‘Hometown Triumvirate’ is a rare occurrence in the world of radio. A collector’s item, some might say. Well today, completists got their wish, with Carmarthen, Bristol and ‘the north’ being the respective locations of Elis, John and Producer Dave, as the BBC’s world-beating broadcasting infrastructure was pushed to its very limits, all in the name of cross country content. Ethernets, modems, ISDN lines and the internet (general) all played their part as features old and new were rolled out. Episode 2 of new audio drama DI Robbyns once again left listeners on the edge of their seats, the lightboards switched up as our fleet-footed hosts juggled a plethora of text topics, plus the dulcet tones of Adrian Chiles made for an unforgettable Made Up Game. Enjoy!
103:52 16/06/2023
#275 - Bumbag Bravado, Remunerationships and Adam From Bungay
New studio, new Elis James and John Robins? Not a chance; no matter how many times one disgruntled listener might text into the show they’ll never change their loveable ways! However, change was certainly afoot content wise, as the guys launched a brand spanking new feature which ticks all of Producer Dave’s boxes (except maybe getting people ready for the weekend). Yes, you’re about to hear the very first episode of DI Robbyns - and no, this isn’t a Radio 4 podcast. Elsewhere, John comes up with about thirty different text topics, Elis shares his love for the inimitable Mr Urdd, Producer Dave brags about a recent purchase and a listener shares their musical talents LIVE on air.
128:04 09/06/2023
#274 - Date City Central, Forty Slinks and Reece With A Spoon
‘Excitement’ was the word on everyone’s lips at the BBC today… and for good reason. First, they were excited about the fact that the wonderful Lou Sanders was sitting in for Elis whilst he treated himself to a luxury spa break in Montenegro. Then, the excitement grew even more as John entered the studio looking more buff than ever before. And just when we thought the excitement couldn’t grow any more, Producer Dave announced he was off to relive his early 20s by going to see the Arctic Monkeys. And with that, the holy trinity of excitement was sorted, perfectly placed to surf the radio waves. There’s a real treat in store for you today, featuring the following audible accoutrements: a listener talking about the time they were outwitted by a pigeon, John channelling his inner local radio presenter, Lou absolutely destroying her co-presenter in a scripted intro, and Producer Dave trying his best to stay balanced in a Made Up Game.
126:14 02/06/2023
#273 - Kwik Save Clothes, Tallinn Jokes and Big Bisc
It’s a good job that the microphones in Broadcasting House are on adjustable mic stands, because for today’s show self-certified posh person Sir Elis James was presenting from atop a felt-lined throne, whilst the peasants that are John and Producer Dave were forced to sit on upturned wooden buckets, never once making eye contact with his highness. And as an offering to the people, Sir James presented a venerable feast of content… the broadest content in the land! John shares a teary Turkish restaurant tale, the guys come up with their own range of soft toys, someone mistakes James Bond for Ed Miliband and Elis gives us an insight into his favourite darts chants.
135:57 26/05/2023
#272 - Noodle Season, Taunton Pastrami and Foyer Residencies
What do you get if you cross an elite-level goalkeeper, a man carrying a chopping board in his rucksack and someone who just can’t wait to get ready for the weekend? That’s right, you get the Elis James and John Robins show on BBC 5 Live. And whilst Elis never did get a chance to show off his chopping skills, he did get a chance to slice through some freshly picked correspondence about what weird advice listeners have been given (which was much more interesting than the onion-based fun we had planned). There was a rather controversial Made Up Game, we heard a toilet tale that stoked the embers of shame, the age-old question “How do you get a wolf to trust you?” is answered, and a listener shared their grievances with how people say “Goodbye… bye… bye… bye”.
130:09 19/05/2023
#271 - Fragrant Disregard, Druids In Need and The Man of Steele
Is there anything more scintillating than overhearing three good friends goofing around on national radio? Well according to Producer Dave there is, and it's catching the scent of a handsome man eating eggs Benedict on a quiet Friday morning. But unlike radio, you can't Shazam a fragrance, so instead Dave decided to put his Northern charm to good use and find out exactly why this man's aroma was so wonderful. It turns out the cost of smelling good is £200, so it's safe to say that Dave is sticking to his good old can of Lynx. Away from all the 'smelltalk', ahead of a big goalkeeping performance John was given some tips from a former professional shot-stopper, there was some real snackable content in a Made Up Game, we heard the story of an old tin of meat, and Elis provided us with one of the greatest anecdotes of all time. Oh, and for the triangulation fans amongst you, the the centre point for today's broadcast was just west of Stratford on the A46. Strap in!
130:14 12/05/2023
#270 - Toddler Tatts, Centenary Sprinters and Own Brand Stout
With the coronation of King Charles III just hours away, Elis and John were giddy with excitement in a balanced and compliant way, with streets parties, Union Jack body paint and temporary Royal tattoos all extolled when discussing weekend plans. And yet even with the chaps’ eager anticipation reaching fever pitch, it’s incredible to think they were still able to compose themselves for a top tier parliamentary Made Up Game, a fascinating ‘this is your life’ chat with fellow 5 Liver Tony Livesey, and an incredibly detailed discussion about aftershave.
149:26 05/05/2023
#269 - Bonus Mobility, Long Awaited Wazzes and Aggers On Dressage
‘Informative… punctual… fun’. These are all words you’d associate with a consummate broadcaster. But ‘bravery’? No, that’s an adjective that’s reserved for one broadcaster and one broadcaster only. That’s right: John Robins. He doesn’t just say what he thinks people want to hear, he says what he thinks others need to hear; and nobody (especially Producer Dave) can stop him. So if you want your weekly fix of bravery, you’re in the right place. John is handed the baton of improvisation, we hear some wonderful retirement dreams, Elis questions some of the refereeing decisions during a Made Up Game, and there is a Shame Well that royally cracks up the studio.
137:27 28/04/2023
#268 - The Royal Tab, Insanity Platters and DI Robbyns
Elis has returned from Dave's favourite continent sunkissed and with renewed vigour. As he saw the On Air light blink red there was a determination is his voice that he was going to carry John on this show no matter how much muscle the man from Buffinghamshire has put on. Thankfully, there was no need for such strenuous exertion as John arrived in peak comedic fitness. He dug into Elis's bold breakfast choices at the hotel buffet and in a radio first listed every single mug that you can find in his cupboard. That's 16, to be precise. Also expect an assonance-heavy Made Up Game and a caller who got the boys purring.
123:40 21/04/2023
#267 - Atomic Bum, Apologetic Moshing and Yo Shoeshi
Over the past few months it’s been well documented that Elis James is the busiest man on earth, so this week he decided to take some much needed time off to top up his tan / vibe stores. But who could keep his seat warm whilst he keeps himself warm in Portugal? There was only one man for the job: everyone’s favourite Old Etonian (depending on which newspaper you read), the one and only Ivo Graham! And just like a loan player looking to make their mark in lower league football, he wasn’t content with sitting on the bench! He got stuck in from the first minute, gave John the runaround and even left a leg in on Producer Dave. There’s a Made Up Game which some (including the higher-ups at 5 Live) have branded ‘risky’, Ivo takes a look through this week’s broadsheets, John discusses his most recent step to becoming a beefcake, and a loveable East End builder stops by to give us a quote. Bosh!
134:13 14/04/2023
#266 - Single Pringles, Sportageddon and 225 Lollipop Ladies
With a MASSIVE announcement from the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar, a HUGE Made Up Game involving a behemoth of the broadcasting world, and a GIGANTIC faux pas from Producer Dave when describing his weekend plans, you’d be forgiven for looking on in disbelief when finding out today’s show is only 90 minutes long. Alongside all this bigness, Elis arrives at the studio with a very special guest, John sulks because of certain scoring parameters, and everyone just about remains on the right side of the undue prominence line when debating a Petty Parliament item.
98:24 07/04/2023
#265 - Vampire Grannies, Breaking Beale and John’s Dream Seat
What car would Huw Edwards drive? Where is John’s favourite spot to sit on a crowded train? Does Elis know how much a second class stamp costs? Does new feature The Riff Symposium actually work? All valid questions, with some fascinating answers* that are all revealed, divulged or discussed across two hours of scintillating radio with Elis and John. And amongst the cut and thrust of top notch seat-of-your-pants broadcasting, there was a Made Up Game that delivered, an Ask John that informed, and a Petty Parliament that divided. *Burgundy Mercedes E-Class estate, near the toilets, maybe - we're hopeful.
133:39 31/03/2023
#264 - Slimline Biscuits, Impartial Spines and Tweet The Internet
The floors of Broadcasting House were shaking this morning, as Beefcake Robins entered the studio fresh from achieving yet another personal best at the gym. His continued workout efforts have seen him rise to second in the table of the “5 Live Ripped Rankings”, and he’s got Rick Edwards firmly in his reach. And to show just how strong he’s become he was able to present the whole show with Elis on one shoulder and Producer Dave on another, all whilst maintaining perfect form. In a show which had “giddy energy” running through its veins the guys speak to a wildlife Unsung Hero, Elis’s social media habits are put under the microscope, John tries to figure out what car Tony Livesey drives, and Producer Dave’s eyes turn black from stress.
122:25 24/03/2023
#263 - Dockers Dictionary, Postcode Dave and Floss Comedy
The higher-ups at the BBC might be able to restrict Elis and John to an hour's worth of radio in order to make room for the Cheltenham Festival, but do you know what they won't ever restrict? An appetite for quality chat that is SO ravenous they're able to make a 60-minute show feel like an 85-minute show because of just how much they've jammed into it! Producer Dave puts the guys through their comedy paces with another Riff Symposium, there's a discussion about Adrian Chiles' new money-making scheme, a listener tells us how brilliant Sweden is and John continues to flex his muscles (if only you could see them). Plus, John appeared on 5 Live Breakfast this morning as part of their 'In My Opinion' feature, so as a special treat we've included that too.
91:07 17/03/2023
#262 - Robot Lasagne, Sink Sabotage and Ping When You’re Winning
A surprise at every turn, content on the cusp of being toooo edgy, and with some bits a little too revealing for the more conservative consumer.. Elis and John on 5 Live, or the Elis and John Tax Year Calendar (available at, fyi)? BOTH! With today’s explosive offering matching the #daring and #dangerous extremes of everyone’s favourite wall-hung charity organiser. There was sink-based drama, microwave-based shenanigans, plus some other stuff that isn’t centred around the kitchen. Enjoy!
132:07 10/03/2023