A comedy survival podcast about the disasters you fear, the chaos you don’t expect, and the daily hassles that make you wish you were dead. Hosts Danielle Koenig and Kristine Kimmel break down everything from natural disasters to unnatural medical scares to wild animals you don’t want to encounter- plus guest stories you truly won’t believe. If it can endanger your life—or simply ruin your day—they’ll tell you how to survive it, with plenty of laughs along the way.Featuring guests like Rainn Wilson, Jon Hamm, Tig Notaro, Patton Oswalt, Oscar Nunez, Lauren Ash, Paul F. Tompkins & Andy Richter.
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a horrible boss and Lee Farber joins us to share his hectic day with a horrible Hollywood boss. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
21/07/2026 • 74:00
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive falling into a coma and Roy Cruz joins us to talk about the time he accidentally, and unknowingly, took a few Ambien. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
14/07/2026 • 76:59
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive those annoying hiccups, and Jennifer MacLean joins us to share her experiences with some...other bodily functions.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
07/07/2026 • 78:47
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive working back to back shifts and Chesley Crisp joins us to share her experience with Cancer, a double mastectomy, and a bum ankle. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
30/06/2026 • 77:37
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the boogie man, aka creepy guys at clubs, and Oliver Pardo is back to share his first time clubbing in Los Angeles!👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
23/06/2026 • 87:23
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive forming a business partnership and Julia Lea Wolov joins us to share how she and her writing partner began their comedy partnership! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
16/06/2026 • 78:56
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive wood-chomping carpenter bees, and May Darmon joins us to share her story of a West Hollywood car crash!👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
09/06/2026 • 75:00
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive scammers targeting the elderly.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
02/06/2026 • 79:26
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a cheating spouse, and Brendan Smith returns to share his recent experience with a wild bear!👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
26/05/2026 • 92:08
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive RV LIVING!👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
19/05/2026 • 67:40
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive rat-borne hantavirus.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
12/05/2026 • 67:37
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the cursed hot flashes, and comedian Allan Murray shares his experiences as a warm-up comic for television.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
05/05/2026 • 85:34
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive an alpine divorce, and Anne Gregory returns to share a very "The Pitt"-esque way to lose one's virginity.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
28/04/2026 • 78:54
This week: what it feels like to live with a mystery illness that doctors can't figure out—and how to survive the fear that comes with not knowing.Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the fear of the unknown, and author Jane Borden (Cults Like Us: Why Doomsday Thinking Drives America) shares her experience untangling the mystery of an undiagnosed illness.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
21/04/2026 • 76:22
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive ice cold water and Will Hines joins us to share his experience with frozen shoulders!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
14/04/2026 • 77:36
This week, Danielle, Kristine, and Garon return after a week off to dish on international fllights and lost luggage, they wonder why Jen Aniston keeps her dry eyes a secret, Garon loses his glasses to the powerful waves of the Pacific, and they catch up on some of their favorite television. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
07/04/2026 • 78:49
This week Kristine is away to Germany but that means you are getting a special sneak peek at the type of Bonus Episode you get when you join our Patreon! This is a shorter version to get a glimpse of the fun we have every month. Join now!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
31/03/2026 • 32:01
This week on How to Survive with Danielle & Kristine, Danielle dives into one of the stickiest disasters in history: the Boston Molasses Flood — yep, slow as molasses IS an oxymoron.We break down how to survive a slow-moving but deadly disaster, and then comedian and writer Brian Kiley joins us to talk about his early days in the Boston comedy scene.Expect survival tips from one of the most fascinating disasters in history!👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
24/03/2026 • 75:13
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive having a terrible neighbor, and Scott Langteau shares his tale of navigating the nightmare next-door neighbor.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
17/03/2026 • 84:56
This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive various kinds of birth control and Jeff Lewis joins us to share the experiences he had with getting a vasectomy.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
10/03/2026 • 74:36
This week, Danielle and Kristine are talking about how to survive rivalry- heated and otherwise. From the show Heated Rivalry, to siblings, marriage, and the workplace, rivalries are everywhere and can even be good for you. But if a rivalry gets too hot, Danielle and Kristine have some tips to help you through it. 👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
03/03/2026 • 85:11
This week, Danielle and Kristine delve into the flames, with tips to keep you safe from smoke inhalation. Then, one of our favorite guests, writer and comedian Todd Levin, returns with a tale many of us can relate to: getting fired. Only in his situation, the workplace...was incredibly well known.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
24/02/2026 • 80:16
What's this show all about anyway?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
18/02/2026 • 00:58
This week on How to Survive with Danielle & Kristine, we learn how to survive the fer-de-lance viper — one of the deadliest snakes in the world — and just as threatening? Meeting famous people!Comedy legend Greg Proops joins us to share stories only he could tell about celebrity encounters and what it really takes to survive going behind the red rope.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
17/02/2026 • 76:36
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the loss of a body part and Macey Isaacs joins us to share the time she lost her front teeth!👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
10/02/2026 • 73:06
This week, on How to Survive, a little treat for you! A sneak peek at the kind of bonus episode you get when you join our Patreon! From ER visits to Oscars talk, we dig deep (emotionally, not physically, we have very weak arms) and lay it all out on the table- that we can't stop pounding! Want the full version? Join us on Patreon for more exclusive, unhinged fun!👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
03/02/2026 • 80:44
This week, Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive being tear-gassed during a protest, then John Quaintance joins us to tell the story of his son’s birth—a carefully planned delivery that went completely off the rails in Laughlin, Nevada.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
27/01/2026 • 70:11
Content Note: This episode of How to Survive discusses inpatient rehab and a troubled teen residential program. Listener discretion advised for discussions of restrictive treatment environments and institutional harm involving minors.This week on How to Survive, Danielle and Kristine talk about inpatient rehab before Charlie Nelson Jacobs joins to discuss his experience surviving a highly problematic and abusive troubled teen residential program—and share some thoughts on the teen treatment industry.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
20/01/2026 • 73:48
Danielle, Kristine, and Garon talk about the Stranger Things finale. Plus, they are still talking about The Materialists. Who's ready for a live show in Sedona?Kristine tries to ruin football for Danielle and FAILS.AND then...Danielle and Kristine go to Ojai to prep for the first HTS Quiz Show (Friday, January 30 at 7 pm Pacific Time- join us!) and barely survive!👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content.📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
13/01/2026 • 77:51
This week, Danielle and Kristine break down how to survive the potentially dangerous world of Uber and ridesharing, and Oliver Pardo returns with a few truly wild rideshare horror stories.👉 Hit Follow — it helps the show and keeps you alive!🎧 New episodes every week!👉 Support us on Patreon for extended episodes + bonus content. Our first How to Survive Quiz Zoom begins January 30th!📰 Join our Substack for extra comedy bits and survival tips.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
06/01/2026 • 89:29
