Daily Boost Motivation and Coaching

Clearing Your Clutter I’ve noticed in my life that humans are hoarders when it comes to keeping stuff that works and doesn’t. They keep hanging on; their life depends on it. Now, before I go on, I think there are two situations at play here: 1) Hanging on to what has worked well but needs to go so you can do more of what you want to do. 2) Hanging on what doesn’t work in hopes that it will work well someday. Both can go on for years and lead to frustration as you long for something else.  I was on the phone with a client this morning, and we ran into that situation. We began dealing with it a few months ago, and it’s still rearing its ugly head in her life.  After exploring it from every angle— Should I keep it? Should I put it to the side and come back to it? Should I toss it and start over? Should I… should I… should I. I finally said the only thing that came to mind - “The mere fact that you keep questioning it tells me that you want to drop it. You’re just worried about what comes next, which is strange because what’s next is what you want.  Let me ask a question— How would you feel if you dropped everything holding you back and woke up in the morning with a clean slate and ready to move?” She smiled. You know, with that almost embarrassed look that people get when they can’t pretend anymore. She was busted, and she knew it. That’s when she said— “I’m not going to lie. That would feel great!” We had a “moment,” and everything changed. I suggested a 30-day cooling-off period, but with the understanding that she is moving forward and not backward. A few hours later, she sent me a note. It said, “I don’t need 30 days. Thanks.” It’s simple. When making a life decision, if you stay, you can’t go; if you go, you can’t stay.  Make your choice. --------------------- Our sponsor today is Butcher Box Sign up today at butcherbox.com/dailyboost and use code dailyboost to get free chicken wings for a year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Slow Dow To Speed Up I was riding my Harley-Davidson Road King a few days ago when my mind suddenly thought - “The Chinese Philosophical concept of Yin and yang describes how opposite or contrary forces may be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world.” What? What? Huh? Okay. I wasn’t that details until a bit later and some Googling. Still - It happened right before the Daytona Speedway and was thinking about the advice I give my clients about slowing down. It goes like this - “You must slow down to get what you want.” Advice like that is why I get the big bucks for what I do. No, not really. I get paid because nobody believes me, and it’s up to me to prove it. Let’s go riding. Whenever I’m cruising on my motorcycle, I love fast and loud because it makes me smile. That’s the Yin of riding a bike, but you can only go fast and loud for so long before the light turns red in front of you or blue behind you.   Occasionally, the place you were speeding toward gets congested, and you have no choice but to slow down. But when you are a high-performance machine designed to go fast, slowing down can be challenging - especially on an 800-pound Harley.  That’s where the Yang of riding a motorcycle comes into play. Slowing down is the opposite of fast, yet it can yield the same result - if you know what you are doing. Whether it’s your life or a motorcycle, success requires precision control. You will continue progressing if you get it right and trust yourself and your machine.  On a motorcycle… 1) Slow down but keep moving. Never stop. 2) Rev your engine so that you always have power to your wheels. 3) Since the motorcycle wants to go faster, pull the clutch into the friction zone between nothing and everything while putting your foot on the rear brake. What? Slow down? Rev your engine? Hit the brakes? Yes. That combination virtually assures you keep moving forward in any situation, in complete control, until it’s time to open it up again. That same thing happens in life. You can’t run full out constantly, and sometimes you must stop. You keep moving forward for everything else in between - no matter how slow you go. --------------------- Our sponsor today is Butcher Box Sign up today at butcherbox.com/dailyboost and use code dailyboost to get free chicken wings for a year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Success From Habitat "You need to get out of your comfort zone to succeed!" I can't tell you how many times I've heard that. Thankfully, that silly advice is something I've only accepted a couple of times. I wouldn't say I liked every second of it; I ran right back into what makes me comfortable as soon as I could, and I have never told anybody to leave their comfort zone. "But, Scott? Isn't getting out of your comfort zone how you get what you want?" Yes, and no. Don't get me wrong. I firmly believe that you should continually be expanding the limits of your comfort zone to grow into the next chapter of your life. I think you should be pushing the boundaries of your comfort zone until you feel the bubble around you about to burst.  Why do I believe this so strongly? Because you will never perform to your full potential if you are not comfortable with your situation, environment, skill set, and just about anything else.  Yes, you will do things that scare you occasionally, but you will only grow when the drama subsides and you return to a place of clarity and comfort. From there, anything can happen. The other day, I was chatting with my daughter on the phone and asked what her boys were doing - other than driving her crazy. Her answer made me smile - "Oh, they've been working hard on school stuff today and were hitting the wall. So I released them into their native habitat to get back to themselves." Native habitat? "They're in the backyard digging up worms. They're happy, and I'm happy." From that day forward, whenever I want to grow beyond where I am today, you'll hear me say, "I need to get back to my native habitat so I can get things moving." Do what you do in a way that makes you feel like YOU. The rest will take care of itself. --------------------- Our sponsor today is Butcher Box Sign up today at butcherbox.com/dailyboost and use code dailyboost to get free chicken wings for a year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Secret to Find Your Passion What do I want to be when I grow up?  The first time you ask yourself that question is when you are very young - if you ever asked it. Frankly, somebody else usually asks you, and you probably didn't have an answer and just took off running with this thing called life.  And then it happens — Forty or fifty years later, people start asking themselves that question again after a family and career. The lucky ones don't confine it until they retire; they question who they are. It can be a scary time. If you are looking for a change in your life, here are a few things to understand— You can't move forward by hanging on to what you have.  Remember, you get more of what you focus on in your life. If you focus on what you give up, you'll get more. Instead, you must focus on the unknown future and look for clues about what you will do. I call the process "Exploring Your Possibilities. Imagine if anything is possible and there is no limitation or consequence. There is no commitment required, and money doesn't matter. Time has no impact. None of that matters because once you stumble upon what you want, you will have arrived, and everything will be forever different. How do you make this happen? The secret is to put the brakes on what you are doing while you seek new adventures. It will take time to find a good fit, so you'll have to ensure you don't slide back into your old ways. Don't do it, no matter how comfortable it may feel to get back in your comfort zone. Pump the brakes. Hold on to the space you've created. Explore your possibilities, and let life unfold in front of you. It may not happen overnight. Then again, maybe it will. --------------------- Our sponsor today is Butcher Box Sign up today at butcherbox.com/dailyboost and use code dailyboost to get free chicken wings for a year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Relative Time Management  In my entire life, I've always found it interesting that there never seems to be enough time in the day. Still, most days, everything seems to get done. If it doesn't, the world didn't end, and I survived to check off another item from my to-do list tomorrow. I know I'm not the first human on the planet to face the problem of time, but I think I'm one of those smartypants who have figured out how our time works in real life. And it was 180 degrees from what I felt that time was all about. How you look at time is about to change. First, when you run as fast as possible to get things done, time moves quicker, and things get done. But with every minute filled, there is never enough time to do the things that make your heart sing. If you're like me, that will eventually lead you to sabotage your list so you can do something fun for yourself. It's a never-ending cycle. On the other hand, when you slow down, hold space for yourself, and focus on results relevant to your goals, time slows down, and you get good stuff done. You also magically find lots of free time you need to fill.  Of course, this sounds familiar if you've ever studied Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity. As he determined—time is relative. In other words, the rate at which time passes depends on your frame of reference — or your FOCUS. So, what is your frame of reference? In our case, I'm not asking whether you are moving fast or slow; I want to know if you are focused on the essential things in life that matter to you. Everything else disappears when you do, times slow down, and you enjoy your day like you were born to do. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Positive, Practical, and Peaceful I must admit that I get in trouble because some of the ScottLOGIC that comes out of my mouth doesn’t sit well with many folks these days - and they let me know.  One of the biggest comments… “You seem like such a positive guy, and then it’s like something clicks in your head and goes negative and ruins my day.”  While I don’t think I ever go negative, I’ve heard that many times.  Here’s the thing… It would be easy for me to get caught in the feel-good trap of chasing positivity - if only for being positive. But I’m not interested in that. I am interested in the results.  That is a peaceful, content, joyful, and meaningful life.  If you’ve been alive for over a couple of decades, you know all of that is found lurking in the truth. That’s why I consider myself a practical, positive guy, and you should too.  I believe an optimistic attitude is power in life; I also think that you can never be truly happy until you are willing to dig deep into the not-so-positive challenges in life. Until you do that, you’ll be blocked.  That’s why you’ll always hear me cover both sides.  Frankly, I’m not interested in what we can and will do in our lives. I’m interested in the millions of interactions, decisions, and feelings we encounter daily that become the life we will have lived someday. Stephen Fry said, “Sticks and stone may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Almost everything that freaks folks out begins with words from others and yourself.  Keep that in mind because…  When you choose to be positive and practical and ground yourself in the truth, you will become at peace with everything around you - including yourself. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Diving Face-First Into Your Dreams “Please! Can somebody stop the world? I want to get off!” Okay. Just for you, I pressed the magic button, and the world stopped.  What are you going to do now? If you don’t have an answer, there’s no need to freak out. It’s common for people to get slowed down and think about what their life could be like, and I have no idea. But let’s say you are one of the few who decide the time to turn directly into the challenge. Many years ago, I adopted a philosophy that became the driver that would change everything. I decided to always turn face-first into any challenge between me and my dreams. Yes, I would face my passion head-on and do whatever it takes to make it real.  Do you know what happened next? I tripped, stumbled, and fell into a pile of my own crumbled dreams. That’s when I realized that deciding to face your passion was only the beginning. Before you can face your passion and live your dreams, a few more things must be faced first. You must face your stress. You must face your relationships. You must face your health, finances, and spiritual beliefs. You must face your friendships, clothing, what you eat, and what you dream. Yes, living the “I know there must be more lifestyle” is freakishly simple and no big deal; you do whatever you want whenever you choose. But it doesn’t take long to realize that getting whenever you want requires that you face a few things first. It’s simple. As scary as it may feel, no matter how much you don’t want to do it, everything becomes possible when you deal with everything in your life and take control.  So, the next time you find yourself trying to figure out what’s stopping you from living your dreams, there might be a few things that you want to handle first. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why Will Power Will Wear You Out When will you get to do what you want to do?  More people than you know lose sleep over that question. If that sounds like something you have experienced, you’re not alone.  Almost everybody begins their journey when a thought pops into their mind. Then, day-to-day life keeps them busy, and they spend frustrating months fixin’ to get ready. You know, starting to prepare… so you can begin to do… so you can do… and say you did.  If that doesn’t work, you summon your friend, Will Power.  Will is not a person, but more like a kind of friend that you don’t know why you keep letting into your life. They are a bit slacker, live rent-free in your mind, say they want to help, and never deliver on their promise. Will’s job description should read -- to force you to do things you say you want to do but can’t get yourself to do. When you give up, Will leaves. The good news is, there’s no need to force yourself to do anything. Achieving your biggest goals in life has nothing to do with willpower. Instead, shift your mindset -  “To act at your discretion without constraint.”  That’s the definition of Free Will, Will Powers, good cousin.  Use your Free Will to harness your excitement and choose the path of least resistance. Start making the slightest changes in your life. Those steps will lead to big results sooner than you think. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Joyful Leftovers Happiness When I began training and competing with my dog in agility, I made a rookie dog trainer mistake. I wasn't consistent, and my dog was getting confused. One day, my trainer said,  "For a dog, one time means all the time. They will keep doing something new every time you let them do something new." As silly as it sounds, that came to mind a couple of weeks ago when my wife, a creature of routine and habit, did the same thing. We held Thanksgiving for our family at our home, and Joi's training kicked in instantly— "I like everybody coming, but what about leftovers? They need leftovers?" As a guy who has experienced Joi's "No eating out at the restaurant until all the leftovers are gone" rule, I knew this was a big issue. But, like a good husband, I got out of the way and let her figure it out. A day before the big day, I watched her bring two turkeys into our home and start cooking one of them — something I'd never seen before. After cooking the bird, Joi sliced it up, divided it into individual containers, and popped it in the refrigerator. I had to ask— "So what's the deal with all the turkey?  Aren't we cooking one tomorrow?" Her answer was as Joi-like as I could expect. "I just want to make sure everybody has leftovers. That's all." Well, I can't argue with that, except that she was giving it all to everybody else.  I sure hope I get my own. :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Creating a Wonderful Life With the holiday season on its way, wouldn't it be great if you received the gift of the wonderful life of your dreams?   What if you could have lots of free time, less stress, more money, and great relationships?   In my years of coaching folks all over the world, I've learned a few things about lifestyle design: 1) Everything begins when you become aware of what you want and accept that it's up to you. 2) If you believe your dream can be real as soon as you start living it - it will be. 3) You are the Boss of you, so there's no reason for a delay. Stop planning and start doing. Forget wishing, hoping, and dreaming. Start with little bits of happiness and work toward living your dream daily.  Most people are drifting in the winds of life. True happiness arrives when you start driving through life. Living your wonderful life is entirely up to you. Be aware of the desired change; believe it can be yours, and start living it now.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wisdom to be Thankful For I woke up this morning with a zest to expand my feeling of gratefulness. Well, is not so much to grow as to recognize all the things I am grateful for but haven’t thought about lately. That’s the thing about living in a fast-paced world where our daily activities, big and small, fly by and are quickly forgotten. It’s always been that way. There is nothing new in the world. That got me thinking about some of my favorite quotes — “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.” —Robert Brault As a no-regrets guy, I admit to sometimes not living in gratitude. Thankfully, the wisdom of others is always making sure I remember what is essential— “If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get.”—Frank A. Clark “Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” —Eckhart Tolle “Who does not thank for little will not thank for much.” —Estonian Proverb “Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: It must be produced and discharged and used up to exist at all.”—William Faulkner “Enough is a feast.”—Buddhist Proverb “When you are grateful, fear disappears, and abundance appears.”—Anthony Robbins “When eating fruit, remember the one who planted the tree.”—Vietnamese Proverb “Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”—William Arthur Ward “A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all the other virtues.”—Cicero “Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”—Robert Brault Happy Thanksgiving. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did Your Motivation Get Lost? Where the heck did my week go?  With a long weekend in sight, I’m a bit worn our from projects I’ve been working on, but my mind I moving to eating turkey and riding the motorcycle mode. Monday is coming - right? We can get going again. Wait. How will we stay focused, progress toward our goals, and get important stuff done if we run out of juice before the week is over?  Why does that early week motivation that has our hair on fire run out before I finish everything?  Okay, let’s cover two things.  The first is a myth but I’ll correct it for you. 1) Motivation is a finite resource that will fade. On average, your brain runs out of motivational calories after about 48 hours of focused work - a belief that has been held for years. It’s not true. Motivation doesn’t fade, as a human, you just get tired. 2) God willing, no matter how much you don’t get done this week, there is always the next week in your future. Yes, another Monday is coming. What doesn’t get done this week will get done next week. A long time ago, Tony Robbins said, ‘Most people overestimate what they can do in a week and underestimate what they can do in a year.’  Keep your eyes on the prize that is driving you. Your goal should be to reach your stated outcome, no matter what gets in the way or how long it takes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Stop Dreaming of Retirement  A few days ago, I stumbled into a conversation with a young man working behind the counter at a store I visited. It didn't take long before we knew a lot about each other. He was a student at Emory Riddle Aeronautics University here in Daytona Beach. I run into a lot of those kids. Being a pilot myself, we instantly bonded. Then he asked a question that caused me to pause… The Daytona area population is very diverse - with more than a few retired. Since I'm a guy with a bit of gray hair, a couple of wrinkles, and seemingly lots of free time on my hands, he asked… "Are you retired?" I shot back, "Not yet - in a couple of years!" What he said next stopped me in my tracks. "Does that scare you or excite you?" I have to say. I don't get stuck with words very often. But after a few seconds, I said - "Neither! I love what I do and how my life is going, and I am excited about tomorrow more than today!"  That's when he said, "I hope I'm that way when I get older - not to say you're old. Always remember - When you do what makes your heart sing, life gets better. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You Don’t Need a WHY A friend and I were chewing the fat a while back about getting what we wanted out of life. It’s a common topic among my friends and should be among yours. It makes sense; what you focus on is what you get - right? As we talked, I realized that as I’ve bumbled and stumbled through a very colorful life, I’ve also stumbled upon a simple idea. Getting what you want in life requires that you know what you want. But what happens when you have no idea how the best things arrived in your life? I get that kind of thinking blows away the theory of WHY most of us talk about. Yes, your WHY is how you get you through when things get tough. Sometimes, it’s the only thing that will.  But in my world, I’ve learned something else. Sometimes, the most happiness we find comes when we’re entirely unaware of WHY we are doing whatever we are doing. Huh? And I can’t tell you how often my wife has asked, “Why are you doing that?” My answer is usually, I’m not sure. I guess it needed to be done. So, as I sit here listening to ‘Girl Named Toms’ Christmas album, I can’t help but wonder what magic you are missing out on because you are spending too much time seeking a mystical WHY instead of honoring the choices you have already made in your life. My ScottLogic tells me that when you explore the possibilities when they arrive in your life, without thinking about it, and go with the flow, you will be happier - even though you might not admit it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reach Your Goal By Staying in The FLOW I need to pass along a way to achieve your goals faster than you thought possible. If you are ready for success to arrive, here are three simple rules to help you realize your dreams: 1) Play to your strength. Do what is comfortable for you. Stay in the FLOW. 2) Only commit to activities that will lead you to your goal. Stay in the FLOW. 3) Never let a day pass without reminding yourself of your strengths. Consciously direct your focus. Stay in the FLOW. You can reach your goals faster when you avoid distractions stranding everybody else, work with your natural talents, and stay in the flow. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why Thursday is The Best Planning Day I have a saying - “Next year begins THIS year, next month begins THIS month, next week begins THIS week, and that happens on a Thursday.”  If you want to stay on track, accomplish your goals, and enjoy life - you MUST take control of your calendar.  It’s easier than you think: 1) Life will come at you FAST! Schedule any significant and can’t-miss life event at least one year in advance. Put it on the calendar and block it out. You can always change your mind. And do it on a Thursday. 2) Hold your space. Decide in advance what you will be doing next week. When will you work on projects? When will you see clients? When will you have fun? And do it on a Thursday. 3) Never end one week without locking in your schedule for the next - and stick to it. And do it on a Thursday? Why Thursday? Because it allows you to completely relax for the weekend by already knowing what the next week will bring. The future is always brighter when your day-to-day focus fulfills your goals this week. Focus, my friend. Focus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reach Your Dreams By Avoiding Resistance Does this happen to you? A great idea pops into your head. Your heart fills with excitement. Nothing can stop you - except that you feel like you are stuck in quicksand. The more you fight, the deeper you sink. The only way out seems to be to give up on your dream - again. Let’s not do that this time. Feeling inspired to make a change in your life is terrific. It can also be scary. The result is nearly always feeling a sense of resistance as you move forward. This happens because your mind is wired to survive. That means avoiding anything bad and seeking everything good. Until you know it’s good for sure, everything is bad.   Resistance is the automatic result. When you are ready to act on your inspiration, focus on the good coming and do your best to resist your natural inclination to fall to the evil power of resistance.  You could say, “It’s about resisting your resistance.”   Inspiration Without Resistance. That’s how you live the life you’ve always wanted. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Practicing the Focus-Finish-Focus Model Wouldn’t it be great if you could create more time in your day?   One way to think about it is to prioritize the projects already on your plate.   That requires a simple understanding: 1) Working on multiple products simultaneously only delays completing all the projects. Your mind can only focus on one thing at a time. 2) What makes this such a great practice is that when you complete a project, not only is it off your plate, but it begins producing your expected results and also frees up time to move on to your next project. The next time that you are trying to find more time, ask - “What can I finish right now that will give me more time tomorrow - and every day after that?” Psychologically speaking, when practicing a focus-finish-focus model; your mind also experiences time differently. In the moment, time seems to be faster. After your projects are completed, your memories expand, and it seems like time has slowed down. That’s what they call a Mind Warp - and it happens daily. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Opportunity Cost Decision Making Do you have too many options and are having difficulty choosing? You may have heard of a concept called "Opportunity Cost." Some consider it a fancy term for "trade-off." In other words, every time you choose, there is a trade-off to consider.  I find it easier to use extreme discrimination to weed out less-than-ideal opportunities. And you can do that with one question - "Does this opportunity provide the fastest and most direct path to reach my goals?"  Before we go on, it's easy to look at almost any opportunity and justify a path, especially if you are being persuaded by someone else. And Opportunity Cost is not some personal development success hack. It's actually in your mind as a survival tool. It's your mind deciding how to expend energy most efficiently.  What was that question again? "Does this opportunity provide the fastest and most direct path to reach my goals?"  If you want to break free from a stalled life, you must eliminate less efficient opportunities.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Letting Mentors Find YOU You've set a goal and are working hours to get what you want.  Why is everything moving so slowly? Larry was a mentor of mine when I was in my twenties. He owned a business, made an exceptional living, and, after hiring me to work for him, took me under his wing. It was a relationship that lasted for years - although I'm sure I didn't make it easy. That's the thing about being a young, bright-eyed dreamer with lots of talent and little patience. It's easy to see what others have, set an arbitrary date on a calendar, and expect everything to go your way. One day, I pinned Larry in his office and was making my best case for a raise. I was sure he had gobs of cash, and I deserved my share.  After all, I was 26 years old, so it was time that I had a big house and a fancy car like him. That's when Larry said something that changed everything - "Scott, sometimes you must keep showing up long enough for the right people to notice. Keep doing a good job, and they'll step up." Of course, Larry was already stepping up and was being very generous. I'm not sure I knew that, and I wouldn't say I liked his answer. I'm also sure I stomped out of his office and gossiped about him in the kitchen.  Over the years, though, I noticed there seems to be a hidden layer of successful people all around me. They were keeping an eye out for somebody like me. Larry was right. The person who can help make your life better is not always the person standing in front of you. It might be the person off to the side that is watching your actions. If you give it enough time, no matter what you do, when you least expect it, somebody will say, "We need to talk. It's time we do something together."  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Don't Become a Negotiating Underdog I was rushing through Atlanta Airport after an entire day of negotiating with a client. My flight was in 30 minutes, so I was beginning to think the deal would not happen.  That's when things got interesting. I've spent many days negotiating over the years and have grown confident in closing deals. I always think I'm going to win. Still, today's game wasn't over. As we approached the Gate area, my client guided me into the Food Court. He pulled out the contract and replaced my fee with a smaller number. Then, he handed me the pen and said, "If you can do it for that, I'll sign right now."  Checking my watch and not wanting to miss my flight, I almost took the deal. After all, winners get deals done. But, experience has taught me something else. Business deals that start poorly rarely get better. I decided to turn his less-than-classy negotiating gambit on its head. As humans, we are hard-wired to survive and thrive. As much as I wanted to take the deal to feed my family, I knew I wouldn't be thriving. I also knew my client needed what I would do for him; my price was fair, and more importantly, he feared I wouldn't do it.  We all feel like the underdog when negotiating. It goes both ways. With that I said, "If you can sign the original deal before I get on the plane, I'll do it. Otherwise, I'll have to pass. I've enjoyed spending the day with you." He who speaks first loses. I kept my mouth shut. Thirty seconds later, he signed the original deal, gave me a deposit, and asked, "When can we get started?" The relationship lasted for years, and we never had that experience again. It turned out to be an excellent deal for both of us. Always keep in mind that we all feel like the underdog when negotiating. It will serve you well. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leadership in Times of Conflict I know that you want to be a better leader. I also know that you hate and don't want anything to do with conflict - especially since I can hear you saying — "Why can't we all get along?" I get it. Saying the word "No" is hard enough. Sometimes, saying "Yes" when others agree or disagree with your choice can be even more difficult. "Why can't we all get along?" The answer is that we can. However, the truth is that conflict will always happen whenever more than two people get together. Even if there is a common goal and everyone is on the same page. Conflict will always play a role in your success. What? We're on the same page, agree with each other, want the same result, and there's still conflict? "Why can't we all get along?" Yes. No matter how positive your project is, everybody has a different idea of how to reach the outcome. Everybody has an individual right way and wrong way of doing things. As a leader, when you approach conflict as a simple "Y" on the road of progress, things change. It becomes a decision that is part of the process and leads to the outcome everybody desires. Leaders, Managers, heck, Mom's and Dad's - anybody responsible for moving forward eventually learns to navigate through conflict. It’s just a part of life. Leaders don't get emotionally fired up, yell and scream, or freak out in some other creative way. Conflict is just an indication that you are progressing closer to your goal. The faster you accept conflict, the sooner you can resolve the obstacle and reach your goal. Everybody will respect and appreciate you. They will also remember you for helping all involved achieve success. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happiness Is Learning Something New In my work, it's not unusual for somebody to seek guidance. Most are contemplating a change or frustrated with the status quo.  Every conversation begins with me asking — "What are you trying to figure out?"  To which people say, "I don't know, that's why I'm talking to you! I want to start over." Now, there’s a funny thing about living inside of your own head for your entire life. You probably already know what you want and just won’t admit it. Usually a combination of fear of change and FOMO, fear of missing out is driving your forward while locked in the same place.  If you find yourself stuck, you may find yourself thinking that you just want to toss everything out and start over. Forget the fact that it’s not possible anyway. There is good reason not to start from scratch. Remember all those years living inside your mind?  Somewhere inside of you, there is lots of experience and wisdom. Over the years, you paid a hefty price for that knowledge. Although it may sound like a good idea, not only should you never give up what you've learned. It's not like we have a Men In Black "Flashy Thing" to reformat the hard drive you call your mind.  A better way is to become an absolute beginner and learn a new skill, preferably with a mentor's help to show you the way while your previous experience guides you.  Sometimes, as you grow older, getting wiser requires going back to 1st Grade. When you do, your brain uses its incredible plasticity and gets excited by learning something new. Then, it integrates it with what you already know. You are, in fact, a beginner and a Master at the same time. That creates excitement, motivation, and happiness, and we all can use more of that. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How Passion Creates Motivation Motivation is always lurking in our minds. Even if we're not thinking about it.  My wife, Joi, is a good example. Take one look at her, and it's easy to see Joi takes care of herself. She gets up every day and eats a healthy breakfast. Then, she dresses in her workout clothes and, without exception, exercises. No matter how late she went to bed or how late I slept in, Joi gets out of bed and heads to the gym. Since it's evident that Joi walks her walk, it's not uncommon for people to ask, "How do you do it?" — as if she is a member of "The Secret Society of Highly Motivated People Club."  It's not that complicated. I joke with Joi that she is my sexy, predictable, exciting, and somewhat dull wife. While that may sound terrible, and I wouldn't say it around Valentine's Day, I probably should. Joi takes it as a compliment — "I know. It's who I am and what I do. I don't think about it. I want to feel and look a certain way, so I do what it takes." Don't let her fool you. She thinks about it a lot, or at least she does until the magic of motivation arrives in full force.  Her vision of herself becomes her passion. That leads to massive motivation, discipline, and action. As good results arrive, the repetition action transforms into life-long habits and delivers life-long results.  That's how you get what you want. The pain of exercising your motivational muscle always feels better than the frustration of thinking about what you want for too long.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some Things Are Not Optional It happens to all of us. We're going about our day, hot on the trail of checking off items on our never-ending To-Do list. Then, we discovered that we didn't get everything done before time ran out.  When my Son was entering the workforce, we would often find time to catch up on weekends. He was trying to navigate the business world while balancing his life. He had a fast-paced job and had become a productivity ninja. He was proud of his color-coded To-Do list and calendar, but he had a problem - "Dad, no matter how organized I am, I still can't get everything done. I'm writing everything down, and I'm working through it, and I still run out of time. What am I not doing right?" My first thought was how happy I was that he had the clarity of mind to look beyond the obvious solution. Then, I had a few questions - You say you have accounted for everything. How much time did you allocate for eating lunch or running down to the coffee shop today? How many times did you visit the restroom, and how long did it take? On your commute, how much time did you spend at the traffic lights? I stopped. "What does that have to do with my getting my work done?" he asked. Nothing, but you still have to get that stuff done. And thanks for making my point. What my Son had discovered is what I call "Non-Ops" — the non-optional things of life.  Non-Ops are a never-ending string of activities that require our attention. They never go away and sneak up without you knowing. If you don't account for the Non-Ops of life, you'll never get to the optionals of life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are You Pushing Too Hard? Have you ever found yourself in a motivated state of mind and pushing through the day?  Do you feel like everybody is hitting you with everything they have?  Blocked. Stalled. Frustrated. It is easy to want to push harder. When I was a teenager, I liked to play football, not with the school team. Uniforms and protective equipment made that too easy. It was more fun to get together after school for a rough and tumble. A game of shirts and skins with the same guys who typically wear protective gear was much more fun. One afternoon, in a particularly spirited game, though, I wasn't having as much fun as I usually did. My attitude that day was one of total domination. I arrived at the field of battle with the absolute intent of pushing as hard as possible and winning the day. The only problem was another player had the same intention. And he was knocking the crap out of me with every hike of the ball.  Play after play, we would crash into each other as much force as we could muster. Neither would back off. We kept hitting as hard as we could and inflicting more pain in a so-called fun game. Finally, in tears from my last pummeling, I said, "Why are you hitting me so hard? Stop hurting me. We're supposed to be having fun. Stop it!" I'll let you fill in the more colorful words, emphasis, and emotional craziness.  I was in pain, frustrated, cold, and mad as hell. But that's when my opponent made me realize something I had been missing. He said, "Me hitting you? You've been bashing me all day. What did I do to you? Why are you hitting me so hard?" The emotions of that moment and the lessons learned are still with me all these years later.  Sometimes, when we get pumped and on a mission to achieve our goal, we get lost in our emotions. Not everybody is getting in your way. They are playing the same game, have the same plans, and are fighting to get what they want - like you. After we realized what was going on, the game continued. This time, it wasn't about hurting each other. We stopped pushing too hard and played the best game we could to see who would come out on top. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-Inflicted Changes ROCK A couple of years ago, the world changed when we were all introduced to Coronavirus. It was as if we were racing down the Interstate at 75 miles per hour, slammed on our breaks, and directed off the nearest exit on an undefined detour. It all seemed to happen in an instant. The pandemic caused real pain and loss for some. Fear and stress for others. Still, as surreal as it was, it wasn't long before most people began to notice the craziness of our previous lives replaced with a 'new normal' - one that felt more like a 'new nothing.'  Much to our surprise, life slowed to a crawl, schedules changed, and we found contentment by not chasing every shiny object that life presented. The pandemic pause caused people to reevaluate life from the inside out. While it happens all the time, this time, we noticed it. How many times have you found yourself in an impossible situation that ended with one action?  You paid off debt, quit a job, you said goodbye to a bad relationship? How many times have you decided to try something new, and the past instantly disappeared? Did you decide to move into a new home, start your own business, or return to school? How many times have the worst pains and your biggest joys been the catalyst of an exciting new beginning? A death, wedding, or the birth of a new child? While some situations in life are unpredictable, the lessons learned and wisdom gleamed remind us that anything can and will change in an instant.  Knowing that grants you immense power over your destiny - especially if it's self-inflicted and you are in control. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Powerful and Purposeful Goal Setting   I've always believed goal setting is the heartbeat of our lives.  Goal setting is one of the most powerful tools you have to create your best life. My question to you is… do you know what your best life is supposed to be? I came upon my belief not from a book or a guru but from a realization I had many years ago. I found I was happy when I was chasing something bigger than myself that was also in alignment with how I felt on the inside. I was unhappy when I was checking items off my list and not honoring my true self. After years of pondering, I concluded that a purposeful outcome would eliminate frustration and boredom and generate excitement and enthusiasm.  That leads me to the two definitions of goals: 1) The end toward which effort is directed. 2) An area or object toward which players in various games attempt to advance a ball or puck and usually through or into which it must go to score points. Most people treat goals like the number two, a To-Do list, with a short-term outlook. People who focus on the first definition are long-term thinkers. But what's the real difference? What "end" do you place your focus on? Heartbeat goal-setters know there are many "ends" before the ultimate termination point we call goal achievement. That's what excites and drives them. They purposely focus on that 'end.' Everything else is a step in the journey that is only needed to get to their pre-determined outcome. Heartbeat goal setting. It's purposeful goal setting that ignites a fire in your belly, gives you a mission, and makes you happy. Everything else is an item on your To-Do list. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What? The Best Death Ever? You are a goal-setting machine. That’s not to say you are setting, working toward, and accomplishing more goals than anybody else. It’s the way your brain is wired. If that’s the case, why is it that reaching your goal can leave you feeling lost? In 2006, I had a life-changing moment that happened in the middle of the night. My wife, Sheryl, was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and my world crashed. Even worse, they told me there wasn’t anything I could do about it.  In my world, those are fighting words. The following six weeks were a whirlwind of miracle-searching activity, including a trip to Costa Rica for alternative treatment. As the weeks passed, the reality of what was coming became real. Sheryl would not survive. We called Hospice. In the coming days, we settled into a routine that no family ever wants to go through, and that gave me the idea to call a meeting. I proposed a new goal with my kids around my wife’s bed.  “If this is going to happen, why don’t we make it the best death ever?” The initial response was silence - until my wife said, “Well, if I’m going through this, we should enjoy the experience - right?” From that point forward, even in the most challenging moments, we all lived life to the fullest. Family, friends, and everybody in our circle knew the goal and did their part to help us reach it.  Exactly 100 days after diagnosis, Sheryl passed away.  It hurt like nothing any of us had ever experienced. Still, we found ourselves with a warm feeling about how we had handled things. In time, our conversations turned to our goal of making it the best death ever. We realized we had achieved it.  That's the thing about goals… All the excitement of setting a goal happens while you’re in the middle of your journey - and you are always in the middle.  Easy or difficult. When you choose to pursue a plan, the destination doesn’t matter except that it serves as a starting point for your next journey. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Knowing Your Why AND Why Not Getting what you want in life will be two things… It will be easier than you can imagine or harder than you ever thought possible. The journey will be exciting and scary. Looking back, you will be glad you did it, yet wonder if you will ever do it again. That's why WHY is so important. You must know WHY you are doing anything to sustain your efforts. And it must be YOUR why, not somebody else's. You must own your WHY, understand your WHY, and live your WHY. Many folks are not clear on WHY, or they do it for others or other reasons. Sometimes, you might put up with one thing, hoping you'll get something else. I’m sure that you’ve found that's not the way it works. Remember, what you focus on expands. That means you’ll get more of putting up with stuff if that's what you focus on. It's true. Knowing WHY you don't want to do something is as essential as knowing WHY you want something. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices