Escucha el podcast Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

‘I think you should have a conversation with Honor about her drinking,’ Sorcha goes	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	05:59
‘I got thrun out of Amedica,’ Ronan goes. ‘Me visa was revoked’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	07:11
When Honor drops the news, I sit there with my mouth open like someone from Roscommon seeing escalators for the first time	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	05:40
The old dear made a seating plan for her own funeral. She didn’t want ugly people in the first three pews	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:14
I get this sudden flashback to when I was six or seven and I’d hold the wheel steady for the old dear while she drove home, half-cut	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:24
The old dear goes, ‘Sorcha? I don’t know anyone of that name. Is she one of your tarts, Ross?’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:51
Oisinn goes, ‘Dude, you’re saying goodbye. You do realise that? You’re saying goodbye to your old dear’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	05:57
Brett goes, ‘She’s close to the end, Ross. I was thinking we should arrange a living funeral for her’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:19
I’m always telling Sorcha to tone down the southside when we come out to Bray but she never listens	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:53
‘I haven’t really been living before now,’ Brett tells his wife. ‘Ross has slept with more than 800 women’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:16
‘I’m not even a bit stressed,’ Honor goes, ‘I haven’t done a focking tap for these exams’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	05:42
He obviously decided that he’d wasted his life, focusing on career, marriage and family goals	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:20
We’ve been through so much. I slept with two of JP’s ex-girlfriends, and Christian’s actual mother and even that didn’t break us up	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:34
Honor goes, ‘People will talk about my speech for years to come. And that’s just in the libel courts’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:35
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘My old dear doesn’t have the embarrassment gene. It’s a South Dublin thing’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:48
Honor is staring at Brett like he’s an ATM and she’s sitting in a JCB, trying to work the levers	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:17
‘That picture The Last Supper is weird. They’re all sitting on the same side of the table’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:33
Honor goes, ‘I’m editing the school yearbook photographs of anyone who pissed me off’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	05:57
‘Imagine no possessions. I wonder if you can,’ the old dear sings. Her earrings cost more than my cor	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:15
‘I most certainly do have an American accent,’ I tell my supposed half-brother. ‘I’m from south Dublin’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:13
Ross O’Carroll-Kelly: ‘I hate my children too. Like, how could three kids of mine turn out to be such dicks?’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:27
Most schools fear Hennessy Coghlan-O’Hara like they would a typhoid outbreak	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	07:01
I’m there to Honor, ‘You’ve never been good at school. I always thought you took after me’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:11
‘I haven’t come here today to listen to you badmouth my mother – the axe-faced old trout'	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:25
‘My old dear said you had a kid together. Well, I’m its half-brother. Or half-sister if it’s a girl’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:19
‘Only cheat with someone who’s married. It’s the principle of mutually assured destruction’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:16
‘I strip down to my boxers. I can always drive home commando. Wouldn’t be the first time’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:06
When Ronan was 10, I said, ‘I need to have the chat with you about sex.’ And he said, ‘What are you wanting to know, Rosser?’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:13
The dude goes, ‘The famous Rosser, what?’ looking me over like I’m a buffet item gone cold	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:02
‘You wouldn’t last one day as a girl,’ Honor tells me	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:03
‘You’re both loved and feared, Honor – and I’m so proud’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:27
‘Why do you want to go disinterring the past, Ross?’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:09
Sorcha is standing at the island with a boning knife in one hand and an espresso in the other, grinning at us like a serial killer	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	05:53
The old dear goes, ‘I don’t want my vital work on the campaign Move Funderland to the Northside to die with me’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:20
‘I remember Past Ross thinking, you need to stort being nicer to Future Ross. He’s a genuinely good bloke’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	05:50
‘Sorcha, I’m wondering is climate justice maybe a bit above Santa’s pay grade?’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:22
Sorcha goes, ‘I make no apologies for saying it, Honor. You are a danger to democracy’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:13
When they see the copper, the triplets think it’s about them gobbing on the cauliflower and turmeric latte crowd - which I’m not even sure is a crime’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	05:53
‘We’ve no idea what caused the fire. And we’re sticking to that story’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	06:02
‘People in the crowd are staring at Honor like she’s a cold sore on debs night’	Ross O'Carroll-Kelly	05:50

‘I think you should have a conversation with Honor about her drinking,’ Sorcha goes

05:59

‘I got thrun out of Amedica,’ Ronan goes. ‘Me visa was revoked’

07:11

When Honor drops the news, I sit there with my mouth open like someone from Roscommon seeing escalators for the first time

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

05:40

The old dear made a seating plan for her own funeral. She didn’t want ugly people in the first three pews

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly

06:14

I get this sudden flashback to when I was six or seven and I’d hold the wheel steady for the old dear while she drove home, half-cut

Ross O'Carroll-Kelly