Show cover of Middle Children

Middle Children

Jessie Jolles and Chris Burns aka Fat Carrie Bradshaw didn’t ask to be born as middle children, who would? Born into a life of being desperate for attention, the dynamic duo known mostly for developing a sense of humor as a defense mechanism brings you a show about their favorite thing, themselves. Talking through their endless embarrassing stories, the many famous middle children of the world, and interviewing guests from the oldest of the family, the youngest of the family and everything in between Middle Children is a show for all and there’s only one condition; Jessie and Chris are the stars.


Between Warm Chris Goo and Adventures on Horseback
Jessie is collecting sea shells to make crafts and jewelry. Chris is thinking about going horseback riding but isn't sure if it's safe. Later they do an extremely dramatic, extremely serious, and extremely suspenseful Hallmark.
61:47 6/12/24
Between Easy Breezy Summer Fun and Beetle Juice Themed Restaurants
Jessie tells the tale of a sexy whirlwind summer date and polls the room on the right way to initiate a second date while Chris is cruising at the Beetlejuice themed bar.
48:05 6/3/24
Between Hollywood Starlets & Old Navy Air Conditioning
With summer finally upon us, Chris is trying his hardest to hide the sweat stains from all over his body. Jessie is living for the summer and looking for a friends with benefits in all the wrong places. Podcast roulette is back. Happy Memorial Day.
53:42 5/27/24
Between Not So fun Hookups and Having No Clothes For The Summer
Jessie made it to the studio after a not so great one night stand. Chris is dreading going out in the heat with summer right around the corner. Later, the QVC segment returns to sell you some beautiful things that you don't need.
63:58 5/20/24
Between Yelling At The Cool Kids and Two Convicts With A Podcast
Chris thinks the next generation is too coddled to ever be funny. Jessie thinks Katherine Heigl got a bad rap. We've also got a new improv segment from the world podcasting that is guaranteed to make you subscribe to the Middle Children Patreon.
68:19 5/13/24
Between The Depths Of The Ocean and Defending Your Life
On this very special sneak peek behind the Patreon Paywall, Chris and Jessie present to you a "High Episode". With topics ranging from what is going on at the bottom of the ocean, where Chris and Jessie want to be buried, and why Bears hibernate, you will have no doubt that these two are very high. Whoa, man.
53:08 5/6/24
Between Unreliable Wifi and The Truth About Grill Masters
Jessie can't figure out why her wifi isn't working. Chris wants to know why every straight man thinks he's a master on the grille.
53:16 4/29/24
Between Dentists With Personalities and Cruela Deville
Jessie is trying to live more like that monkey from "The Lion King". Chris does not want to be approached by people barking on the streets of New York City. Also in this episode, improv from around the world!
65:38 4/22/24
Between Jojo Siwa Spitting Game and Playing With Makeup
After a 24 hour stomach virus, Chris returns to ponder with Jessie whether or not either of them are good at playing the game in their dating lives. Jessie thinks she could make a ton of money as a stripper for men who like their women funny.
55:05 4/15/24
A Middle Children Update
A Middle Children Update
04:05 4/1/24
Between Some Kind of Farm Situation and The Fierce Women of The X-Men
Jessie is finally taking song writing classes to get back her creative juice. Chris would love a world where we all get more appetizers. This episode features a fabulous new roast and toast of this audience's favorite subject, super heroes. Get tickets to our next virtual event- The Wedding Of Jessie Jolles, below!
55:20 3/25/24
Between Snakes In The Garden of Eden and Wedding Flash Mobs
Chris is in his slut phase and back from an eventful trip to LA. Jessie is in her artist phase and writing again. This week C and J have weddings on the mind and get into some improv about the big day. Get tickets to our next Livestream, "The Wedding of Jessie Jolles" below!
61:11 3/18/24
Between A Rock and A Hard Place
Chris tells the crooked tale of his latest, scandal filled, dating saga with an ending that may SHOCK you. Ticket link for our next live stream show "The Wedding of Jessie Jolles", below!
61:59 3/11/24
Between Building Forts With The Man of Your Dreams and A Giant Box of Fortune Cookies
Jessie has had a busy week of hitting the club and building forts. Chris is not new to wild nights and doesn't think Jessie could keep up with him. This week features a wild QVC segment for the ages with prices on items that just can't be beat! Get Your Tickets Now For Our March Live Stream- The Wedding of Jessie Jolles!
61:28 3/4/24
Between A Flawless American Fitness Test and A Well Funded Artist Collective
Chris is grateful for American Idol for all the amazing talent they've brought the world. Jessie just wants to fund her dream art collective for all the artists in world. We also roll out a brand new Hallmark about.....well, we don't really know, but it's fun.
77:48 2/26/24
Between A Delicious Buttercream Cake and High Powered Hotellier In Love
Chris is in his cake baking era and Jessie is over award shows. Luckily today's Hallmark features a love story for the ages about a high powered hotellier finding love when they least expect it.
79:38 2/12/24
Between Stigmatizing Mental Health and Getting Free Sexy Massages
Chris would love to move out of the heathen hell hole that is New York City but if he can't get a boyfriend here, where would he go? Jessie is back on the apps and feeling frisky....for free erotic massages. If you like being sold things you don't need, great news, the iconic QVC segment is back and better than ever. Get a ticket for the Sunday Valentine's Day Brunch Live Stream for this Sunday (2/11)
58:56 2/5/24
Between Being Stuck In Traffic With Sciatica And First Dates At Orange Theory
Chris thinks people who go on first dates to workout classes are out of their minds. Jessie can't sit in traffic while driving because her Sciatica is killing her! This and other musings. Get tickets for the Valentine's Day Brunch Livestream Here!
55:55 1/29/24
Between Falling Out of a Hammock and Snow Shoveling Dyslexia
Chris and Jessie debate the merits of trying to be sexy in a hammock, pretending to be dyslexic to get out of shoveling and more.
51:21 1/22/24
Between No Carb Diets and 2024 Bingo Boards
After a long break for the holidays, Chris and Jessie are back to kick off their 2024 with positivity (kind of) and a slew of New Years Resolutions.
65:55 1/8/24
Between Giving Away Furniture and Cuddling With Bad Intentions
It's the last Middle Children of 2023. Jessie ponders whether or not men can cuddle for a night without wanting sex. Chris takes solace in the fact that if he puts some furniture out on the street, it's not wasteful because someone is always gonna take it. The final Hallmark of the year features a high powered crude energy attorney looking for a holiday romance.
64:49 12/18/23
Between Hitting It Off With A Stranger and Delicious, Edible, Essential Oils
Jessie is convinced that Chris will hit it off romantically with a friend of hers that she seems to know very little about. Chris is skeptical because it's not common that he really likes anybody any way. With the holidays coming up, we've also got you covered for gifts with another edition of the new fan favorite QVC segment.
57:29 11/20/23
Between Not Needing A Man At All and Selling Milkshake Machines
Chris profoundly declares that he'd rather Netflix and NOT chill. Jessie, on the other hand, loves an ice cream date. We unveil a new segment where Chris and Jessie can sell you ANYTHING and of course we close the show out with a look inside the world of daytime television and a whole lot of vodka.
69:52 11/13/23
Between a Room Full of Organized Chaos and A Rant About E.L. Fudge Cookies
Jessie and Chris try to get on the same page about their dream houses but run into some difficulty landing on a shared aesthetic. Chris cannot contain his strong feelings about the new and def not improved E.L. Fudge cookies but Jessie is in love with a soft and chewy sugar cookie. We wrap up this week's show with a Hallmark featuring a high powered book editor on wild ride of self discovery.
79:06 11/6/23
Between Hundred Dollar Doll Houses and Open Toed Shoes In NYC
Chris is binging horror shows to get in the spirt of Halloween. Jessie is in her building miniature houses phase and no one can stop her. In place of a Hallmark, we unveil our first ever test run of the "Roast and Toast" segment focusing on the footwear of summer in New York City. Prepare yourself, because it for sure, is a test run.Buy tickets NOW for TONIGHT'S Halloween Livestream
57:28 10/30/23
Between People Secretly Hiding In Your House and The Invention Of Pumpkin Spice
Chris has been revisiting too much Tyra Banks content and realizing just how problematic she was. Jessie is getting to know her neighbors and trying to not let the fear of a stranger unknowingly living in her house ruin her vibe. Later we present an autumnally classic 'Hallmark' featuring the inventors of pumpkin spice and a trip to the homeland with tons of making out along the way.
80:22 10/23/23
Between Too Many Dating Apps and Show Business
Jessie is back on the dating apps and wants to know why everyone is ugly now but also, somehow not funny. Chris is fed up with showbiz, specifically Ryan Murphy and his obsession with putting hot people who can't act into his TV shows. All we know is we're doing a live stream for Halloween and the ticket link is below.Tickets For The Tri-Annual Middle Children Halloween Live Stream-->
61:38 10/16/23
Between Ballet As A Hobby and Day Time TV Choirs
With Halloween coming up, Jessie is a little worried about being possessed by demon. Chris doesn't think you can be considered a ballerina unless you've been paid to dance. Plus a very sexy Hallmark with a couple of choir stars and a little rough passion in a public bathroom.Tickets For The Tri-Annual Middle Children Halloween Live Stream-->
58:29 10/9/23
Between Stealing Tuna And High Powered Private Detectives In Heels
Chris and Jessie take a stroll down memory lane to relive the nightmare of some of their greatest food related embarrassments. Stolen tuna fish, weekends full of 15 doordash orders, and sneaking food out of the kitchen is just the beginning. Later we present a Hallmark straight from the 1940s with a couple of high powered private detectives in heels and capes hot on the case.
72:14 10/2/23
Between Being 'She's All That'd' and Ranting and Raving
Chris is tired of all the flirting that just goes nowhere. Jessie loves a good flirt and shows off her baller status by buying coffee for a hot 50 year old on the coffee line. Later, an aborted Hallmark leads to an epic Middle Children rant about housing that the world NEEDS TO HEAR.
56:20 9/25/23