Show cover of Broken to Brave

Broken to Brave

Early in 2018, I realized I was about to turn 50. To say I reacted strongly would be an understatement. I was in shock. I was devastated. Angry. Scared. Hopeless. I took to my bed. About 6 months later, I forced myself out of bed. I had wasted my adult life hiding in fear. I couldn’t get those years back, but I could try to salvage the years I had left. I challenged myself to do 50 brave things before I turned 51. As I worked through the numbers on my list, I found strength I never knew I possessed. I found the hope that I had lost. I found freedom from my past. I found the will to push past my fear and finally live. This is the story of my year of living dangerously.

Tracks

I Shared My List - Number 50
Once in a while, we do something that marks a “before” and “after.”  This list, for me, was one of those things. The defeated, desperate, broken person I was at the beginning is far from the determined, risk-taking, brave person who I became by number 50. And because the list never quite ended, I simply stopped counting, my progress continues and, a year and a half after completing the list, I’m finding bigger and better ways to challenge myself. This journey has come to a close, but our Patreon show will continue with Rob and myself discussing what our life has been like after number 50. We hope you will join us. Until then, thank you for listening and sharing this journey with me. I truly hope that you will make a list of your own and break through the fear that is holding you back.  Completing the list was scary, writing the posts, that would eventually become the podcast, was scary, recording each podcast was scary, but none of that came close to the insane courage and vulnerability required for me to get through the terror of doing number 50 on the list... I Shared My List.   If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
10:32 12/17/20
I Drew Attention to Myself Physically - Number 49
So much of my life has been spent worrying about what other people think. I stressed over what people would think of how I was dressed, my hair, my makeup or lack thereof, my weight, my shoes, whether the colors I was wearing suited my complexion. Does anyone remember when we had to know what “season” we were? There’s so much pressure to know what we’re doing. I opted out. I made myself as invisible as possible. I dressed in black. I wore clothes that hid my shape as much as possible. Stepping out and doing my hair, makeup, and outfit and going out in public with people who knew me was a risk I avoided at all costs so I knew it would eventually have to be faced which is how I found myself at number 49 on my list.... I drew attention to myself physically. 
08:09 12/15/20
I Watched the Live Feed at Take-Off and Landing - Number 48
When something is scary, we avert or close our eyes. We don’t watch. We don’t look at it. We close our eyes and wait for it to be over, right? Someone will take away the scary or gross thing, the scene in the movie will be over and you’ll be able to come out from under the blanket. So when I found out that what I feared most was about to be shown on a large screen in front of me, my first instinct was to close my eyes and wait for it to be over, but I didn’t. I challenged myself to face it and watch every second of it with my eyes fixed on the screen which is how I found myself doing number 48 on my list... I Watched the Live Feed at Take-Off and Landing If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.
07:37 12/10/20
I Approached a Group of Fans at the Pole - Number 47
Is there anything scarier than approaching a group as an outsider? For me, in the moment, I couldn’t think of anything harder to do. They were having fun and in mid-conversation. All I could think about was, “What if I interrupt and they stare at me awkwardly? What if I’m not welcome?” Forcing my legs to move me across the street and my brain to be quiet despite my terror is what led to number 47 on the list... I approached a group of fans at the pole.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.
06:43 12/8/20
I Talked to Gillian Without a Shield - Number 46
I’ve spent my life hiding and so much of my list reflects that fact as I’ve repeatedly fought to break out of that pattern. It hasn’t gotten easier. I think some things have, the more I’ve been exposed to them, but not this. I knew I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn’t push through my fear, yet again, and do number 46 on my list...talked to Gillian without a shield.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
06:03 12/3/20
I Went Out on the Deck of the Viewing Area at Tate Modern - Number 45
Maybe it was the adrenaline rush and momentum from riding the London Eye because, not long after, I found myself deciding to attempt yet another height related challenge. Our Airbnb host told us where to find one of the best views of the city which is how I found myself white knuckling it as I faced my fear and did number 45 on the list...I went out on the deck of the viewing area at Tate Modern.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.    
05:11 11/30/20
I Stood at the Window - Number 44
I could have stayed on the bench. I could have been content with just getting on the ride. It was a big step. It could have been enough, but then I wouldn’t know if I was capable of more. I wouldn’t have seen the view which looked so very different from the window. I wouldn’t have a shared experience with Rob and Molly, and I was really tired of the disconnect that comes when you live trapped in fear and anxiety. So I got off the bench and forced myself to do number 44 on the list... I stood at the window.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.    
06:36 11/26/20
I Rode the London Eye - Number 43
I have always been terrified of heights. I don’t like rides that go up in the air. I’m also afraid of drowning. I’m not a good swimmer and I have asthma which adds another layer of anxiety for me. The one absolute I had when we were planning our trip to London was that I would not be riding the London Eye. Rob and Molly could go on together and I would wait for them safely on the ground where I belong. As soon as we approached it, though, I knew I couldn’t fall back into my old patterns. I knew I had to face my fear of heights and my fear that the ride was above water which is how I found myself doing number 43 on the list... I rode the London Eye.    If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.    
06:58 11/24/20
I Didn't Numb Out - Number 42
It seems there are endless ways to numb out these days. We don’t have to look very far for ways to distract ourselves. The problem is that it only prolongs the inevitable. We have to feel the feelings eventually whether we like it or not. This was the last layer of the work I had been doing throughout this list. Notice it, name it, feel it, and let it go was working to a point, but I seemed to get stuck and/or prolonged the process or wanted to dull the residual pain with “treats” for having endured difficult feelings. Working the entire process and not reaching for my crutches, for the first time, was number 42 on my list... I didn’t numb out.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
08:45 11/19/20
I Got Tattoos - Number 41
Tattoos are a way of marking a moment or a feeling or an event. They tell a portion of our story. They are a visual reminder and I desperately needed a visual reminder that I am safe. That I can let go. To pick up that pen and write. Sounded easy enough until I remembered that to get that visual reminder I must first allow someone to inject my skin with ink and a needle. Facing my fear of both of those things is what led me to number 41 on my list...got tattoos.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
10:26 11/17/20
I Pumped Gas - Number 40
When you struggle with anxiety and/or social phobia it is very easy to avoid certain tasks or situations and let someone else do them for you. It seems helpful at the moment and it can be hard to see the downside. For me, the downside was that my life was getting smaller and smaller and my self-esteem was eroding more and more each time I avoided a task. That’s why I knew I had to face my fear head-on and challenge myself to do number 40 on the list... I pumped gas.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
05:08 11/12/20
I Let an Artist Draw My Face - Number 39
I am surrounded by people who live to get their pictures taken. They do photoshoots for fun. I am not one of those people. I’ve always hated getting my picture taken and struggle with the vulnerability that comes with being “seen.” When we produced a fan event for C2E2, I never in a million years thought that it would end up on my list. We had done close to 200 live events at that time so I didn’t think there would be any surprises, yet there I was facing one of my worst fears as I did number 39 on my list... Let an artist draw my face.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.    
05:20 11/10/20
I Shared My First Draft With Someone - Number 38
I struggled with perfectionism for much of my life. I have improved a lot over the years, but not when it comes to my writing. Sharing my early writing is something I only do with Rob and Molly. I don’t let others see it until it is more complete...more polished. I was even more nervous about this particular work because it was my first time writing fiction. I was writing about a girl who lost her father. Grief is always hard, but grief for children is even harder so I wanted to write a story that illustrates the difference. When my friend asked if I’d show him what I’d written so far and my initial reaction was to run, I knew I had to face that fear head-on. I went home, sat at the computer, tamped my fear down, and, with a very shaky hand, pressed send and did number 38 on the list... shared my first draft with someone.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
07:29 11/5/20
I Attempted the Gym on a Saturday - Number 37
So often I have kept my life small by avoiding situations that scared me. The only way out of that pattern is to root out where you are still stuck and push through the fear. Sometimes you need to follow the path to its conclusion and other times, like this one, just going through the steps and being willing to try is enough. There are far scarier items on my list, but what I keep getting reminded of is that it’s the seemingly insignificant baby steps that often bring about the most change. That’s why number 37 is on my list... attempted to go to the gym on a Saturday.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
11:42 11/3/20
Beta'd - Number 36
I have always tried to control my environment in order to feel safe. I don’t like to even go to a restaurant without reading everything on their menu. I don’t like surprises and I sure as hell don’t like to do anything without knowing the rules and what to expect. Learning as I go? God no. Which is why number 36 on my list is so significant... I beta’d.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
06:02 10/29/20
Volunteered to be on a Podcast I Didn't Know - Number 35
Sometimes things ended up on my list because I pushed through tremendous fear to achieve them and then there are times like this where the list takes on a mind of its own. I was gaining so much confidence by this point that I was jumping in before the fear had a chance to stop me. The act of staying with it and not bailing when this happened was where I fought through the fear and held strong as I waited for the results of doing number 35 on my list...Volunteered to be a guest on a podcast I didn’t know. If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
05:29 10/26/20
Made a Phone Call - Number 34
I’ve always hated to make or receive phone calls. I’m sometimes okay once they get started, depending on the person and the reason for the call. More often than not, however, I end up talking over the person or having awkward silences. Video calls make it worse... well, because they’re video. I mean let’s face it there’s way too much to deal with there on top of the already awkward phone call. There are also lag problems that cause me all sorts of issues. It has always been so much easier for me to convince someone else to make the call for me...by someone, I mean Rob...but not this time. This time I sucked it up, dialed the number, and connected to number 34 on my list...made a phone call. If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
06:40 10/21/20
Played in the Snow - Number 33
One of the hardest things for me to face on this journey was the loss of my playful side. I used to be fun and I wanted it back so I took a chance. I was so scared that it was gone completely, but I pushed through the fear, put on a thousand pieces of clothing, and went outside to do number 33 on the list... played in the snow.  My podcast about my year of living dangerouslyIf you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
06:24 10/20/20
Bought Tickets to a Play in London - Number 32
Sometimes an idea is planted and we allow the door to open just a crack. We allow ourselves to think, “What if?” Or “Maybe that could work for me, too.” And sometimes it takes on a life of its own and becomes more than we ever dared imagine. This was one of those times. I cracked open that door and then I took a huge leap of faith and landed right on number 32...bought tickets to a play in London.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
07:16 10/15/20
Worked on My Sleep Habits - Number 31
I’ve always been jealous of people who could use sleep as an escape. Sleep, for me, has always been a struggle. I wanted it to be a time of peace and rest, but it was often the opposite. Hypervigilance, fear, and anxiety were my constant nighttime companions as I waited for morning to come. Night terrors and nightmares plagued me most of my life and now we're opening up a memory I didn’t want to relive which was why it was so important I face that fear and do number 31 on my list...worked on my sleep habits. If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
07:00 10/13/20
Rejoined the Gym - Number 30
Some of the items are very straightforward and there’s a clear reason it’s on the list. For this one, there are so many reasons. I had to get past the financial fears, taking resources for myself, going somewhere alone, wearing workout clothes in public, and on and on which is why I did number 30 on the list... Rejoined the Gym.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
05:53 10/8/20
Went Back - Number 29
Grief is brutal. Just when you think you’re through the worst part and are back on your feet, a wave hits and you’re swept back in the water. I avoided going back because I didn’t want to relive that horrible experience the day my dad died. I didn’t want to relive the days that followed. I didn’t want to feel my mom’s loneliness and pain on top of my own at a time where I was barely hanging on. I didn’t want her silence. I didn’t want a cold shoulder. But what I did want was closure and peace and the only way to reach that was by doing number 29 on my list...I Went back.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
07:04 10/6/20
Called My Mom - Number 28
One of the harshest realities that I have ever had to face is that sometimes we are born into a family we don’t belong in. Sometimes we stay longer than perhaps we should have because we so desperately want to make it not be so. There are so many more opportunities to fix it, right? Maybe if I just do this one thing they will see my value. Yet, they never do. I lost way too many years fighting to be seen by people who were determined to not see me. At this point, I had walked away from all of them except for my mom. I knew I couldn’t heal by avoiding our strained relationship so this led me to number 28 on the list... Called My Mom.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
12:21 10/1/20
Acted in a Commercial - Number 27
As hard as some of the items on my list have been, it’s times like these that really made me question why I ever started this project! I was making progress, by once again getting paid, so I could see how the list was changing me and changing our lives, but I was seriously beginning to question why I was such a glutton for punishment and torturing myself by doing things like number 27 on the list... acted in a commercial. If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
05:11 9/29/20
Accepted Positive Personal Feedback - Number 26
I listened to the tape recorder in my head that repeated what my abusers used to tell me. As a result, I allowed the voices of the people who surrounded me and truly loved me to be drowned out. My therapist had me do an exercise where I asked people to tell me my most positive qualities in order for me to realize that what I had been hearing and believing wasn’t true about me. It was their insecurity, jealousy, etc. projected onto me. This was an absolutely terrifying exercise. It was embarrassing and personal and awkward. I knew I had to do it in order to heal and that’s how I found myself doing number 26 on my list... Accepted Positive Personal Feedback.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.  
05:48 9/24/20
Accepted Help - Number 25
I had a lot to overcome to accomplish this step. I had tremendous guilt about taking/using resources whether that was material goods, money, time, etc. I was stuck in a scarcity mindset. I also held myself to a standard that I would never expect others to live up to, yet I expected myself to do it no matter the cost. I forced myself to “do it all.” I believed that letting others help me meant that I was weak and a failure. How wrong I was! This is why I challenged myself to do number 25 on my list... Accepted Help. If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.
06:40 9/22/20
Assistant Directed - Number 24
Agreeing to do something and actually doing it are two very different things. I have always excelled at the first one but often bailed before getting to the second one. I was afraid of not being able to deliver. I was afraid of being held accountable for the outcome. I was simply afraid. This time I was determined to follow through, put my name on a project, and be present in the process as I did number 24 on the list... Assistant Directed.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.
06:06 9/17/20
Allowed Myself to Get Paid - Number 23
I had a lot of misguided beliefs about money. Those beliefs kept me from seeing my worth and caused me to devalue myself. This spilled over into every aspect of my life and destroyed my self-esteem. Taking this step was imperative for my health and well-being. I knew I could not move forward until I challenged those beliefs, but first I had to step into my fear and do number 23 on the list... Allowed Myself to Get Paid.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.
06:37 9/15/20
Volunteered To Be A Beta For FanFic - Number 22
My pattern was to agree to something or sign up for something and then panic and back out. I battled the anxiety of not knowing what I was getting into, not knowing if I would have a person I could rely on when I was there, whether I would do a good job at whatever it was, etc. This step was truly me going in blind knowing I would not have a safety net. I didn’t back out. I didn’t allow my anxiety to talk me out of it. I went all in and did number 22 on the list... Volunteered to be a Beta For Fan Fiction. If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.
05:54 9/10/20
Connected With My Fandom on Tumblr - Number 21
By this point in my journey, I was realizing how taking these steps had released me from so much of my generalized anxiety. I was doing things without overthinking. I was calmer. I was breezing through parts of my day that would have normally derailed me. I felt lighter. I felt like I was on the verge of becoming someone I never imagined I could be. Pushing through the fear of standing out and engaging in a world I’ve always hidden from is what led me to number 21 on the list... Connected  With My Fandom on Tumblr.  If you enjoyed this episode and want to dig deeper into each story, my husband Rob and I do an exclusive companion podcast on my Patreon page.  We give further background into the story and include the spouse's perspective.  Each one of these episodes averages 45 minutes to an hour. Find the link below. Patreon @brokentobrave I also share different content across my social media channels and at my blog on the website.   Podcast Broken to Brave on Libsyn WebsiteBrokenToBrave.com Facebook @BrokentoBravePodcast Twitter @broken2brave Please rate and review Broken to Brave wherever you listen to this podcast. It truly helps others find the show and hopefully can help others, like myself, to become braver in their own lives and to heal.
06:54 9/8/20