UnF*ck Your Brain

Being critical of other people is something that many of us do so often that we may not even realize we’re doing it. And not only do we criticize others, we often (maybe even constantly) criticize ourselves. But why do we do it? Tune in to find out what criticism is and understand why we do it, the good reasons why your brain may default to being critical, and how criticism has more to do with you than the other person.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/291

Adults are being diagnosed with ADHD more and more these days. And receiving the diagnosis alone is helping many folks make sense of certain behaviors they have that have always been a bit quirky. But for some, a diagnosis of ADHD can also bring up feelings that are difficult to navigate.   This week I’m joined by life coach and host of the I Have ADHD podcast, Kristen Carder, for a conversation about thought work and neurodivergent brains. We discuss why ebbing and flowing may be better than consistency, why lack of motivation is not a problem, and how to support yourself or any neurodivergent person in your life.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/290

There is a difference in how I feel about loving my partner and how he feels about loving me. And recently, while trying to work on creating more feelings of bliss for myself in our relationship, I realized that my socialization as a woman was affecting the way that I approached loving my partner. And this socialization doesn’t just affect romantic relationships, it can affect your platonic relationships as well. Tune in to find out the difference between loving someone else and being loved, which feels better, and how you can create more feelings of bliss in all your relationships.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/289

We’ve all experienced loss and grief at some point in our lives. And while we may hear that there’s a set number of steps to go through or a timeline to follow, grief doesn’t really ever end. But, you do get to decide who you want to be after the loss. I’m joined by Krista St-Germain, Master Certified Coach and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast, this week on the podcast as we discuss how the socialization of women in our society affects the way that we grieve, what post-traumatic growth is (and how not to use it against yourself), and how you can get over the grief plateau and learn to be truly happy again.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/288

As humans, logic and reason reassure us that something could or could not work — they help us make sense of what we perceive as possible. But logic and reason can only take us so far. They alone will never be able to convince us to do something we’ve never done before. Where logic and reason run out, that’s the point where we have to decide to take a leap of faith (or not).   Tune in to this week’s episode to find out why a leap of faith may be the missing piece for you to create meaningful change in your life, the role tolerating risk plays in making changes, and why feeling anxious about making a change doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad idea.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/287

Today is my birthday! It’s a day I love for all the obvious reasons, but it’s also a time when I love to reflect and take stock of my life and how it’s changed over the past year – and there has certainly been a lot of change in the last year! It didn’t happen all at once. But little bits of change over time have added up to massive shifts. And that’s the process I teach you in the Clutch, my monthly feminist coaching program. We only open a few times a year and we’re open now through Tuesday, May 2nd. Text your email address to +1.347.934.8861 (no code word needed) or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/clutch to join today.

Is there an alternate version of your life that you fantasized about having, that you didn’t get to experience? When we don’t let ourselves grieve or acknowledge those fantasies that we left behind, it can sometimes cause us to get stuck or be unable to make decisions and move forward in our lives. Tune in to this week’s episode to find out what I mean by grieving a life you won’t live, how to do it, and why feeling regret doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/286

We might call massages, face masks, and shopping sprees self-care, but often they’re really just illusions of self-care. It looks like we’re doing these things to take care of ourselves but we never really address the core issue of what’s causing the stress. True self-care gets to the root of the problem and tackles it head on. And when you truly start taking care of yourself, that’s when you start seeing big changes in your life. This week I’m joined by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin. We discuss what real self-care is, how to be proactive instead of reactive with your self-care, and how true self-care is a revolutionary movement.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/285

As women and people socialized as women, we have literally been taught to NOT trust ourselves. We’re bombarded with messages that tell us we aren’t capable of making sound decisions, or of even knowing what’s best for ourselves. This messaging causes us to seek out answers from literally anyone who’s not us and constantly second-guess ourselves. The Stop Second-Guessing Yourself Challenge can help you change that and it’s happening April 17-21. Text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and respond with code word TRUST when prompted to get all the info you need to register.    For more information visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/trust

Some of us are second-guessing ourselves all the time and don’t even realize it — especially women, because we’re actually taught to think this way. We’re taught that we don’t have the authority to make the right decisions — that we don’t know what’s best, not even for ourselves. If you struggle to make a decision, tune in to find out the 3 different types of second-guessing, what happens when we do it, and why it’s such a problem.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/284

Perfectionism is everywhere, it’s sneaky. And this week I want to talk about a little thing I like to call wellness perfectionism. No matter what tips, tools, and tricks we know for regulating our minds (and nervous systems) there’s no way for us to avoid having the human experience. This week I discuss what wellness perfectionism is, how you can see it showing up in your life, and how not to use wellness against yourself.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/283

Money can bring up a lot of tricky feelings - especially for women. But no matter where you are in your money story, here’s the good news: you can rewrite it if you choose. Join me, and money speaker and educator Tori Dunlap, in this episode as we explore our money mindsets and the social conditioning that comes along with them. We talk financial feminism, learning to navigate living in a capitalist society while doing the least harm, and common misconceptions about investing.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/282

This week I tackle listener questions including whether or not everything that happens to you is your fault because of your thoughts, how to coach yourself through anger, the right questions to ask yourself when self-coaching and more (including my thoughts about pineapple on pizza).   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/281

When you have goals and aspirations it’s normal to look for someone that can help you reach them. Having a mentor to help guide you can be a great thing. But sometimes as mentees, we put our mentors up on a pedestal. And when we believe our mentors —and not ourselves — have the answer to our success, we strip ourselves of our own authority and power. The same thing goes for coaches.   Tune in to learn how to take the hierarchy out of your mentor and coaching relationships and how the most important mentorship relationship is the one you have with yourself.    Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/280

What if there were one question you could ask yourself that immediately put you in touch with your highest priorities, your deepest values, and how you want to live in the world? In this episode, you will learn the question I ask myself to instantly gain perspective and clarity on what matters most to me. Tune in to learn how this question can change your life, too.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/279

Whether we’re at the top of a corporation, running our own business, or working as an employee, we’ll often find a million different ways to outsource our leadership to others. But if we can do the hard work of learning to trust ourselves as the ultimate authority over our own lives, that’s where the magic happens.   This week I’m joined by online business legend, Amy Porterfield. Tune is as we dismantle some of the myths about starting your own business and discuss developing a CEO mindset, how socialization affects female entrepreneurs in particular, and the biggest mistake Amy made in her first year of business (so you can avoid it too - whether you have a business or not).   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/278

I am Jewish, but I don’t consider myself to be particularly religious or spiritual. I know that may seem strange or like there’s a disconnect there, but Judaism is more than just a religion. So it doesn’t fit into the westernized ideal of what a religion is or should look like. This week on the podcast I share three ways Judaism has shaped my work in the world and I take a look at how the things that you learn as part of being in a religious community or any other kind of community impact how you think about the world.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/277

Emotional growth doesn’t always feel great. But it doesn’t have to feel terrible, either. You get to choose whether or not you put the time and energy into changing a certain aspect of your life. The key is being able to recognize the difference between giving up on something because you think it’s too hard, and choosing to pursue something else that is more interesting and important to you. This week we’ll revisit a very important topic: How to know when emotional difficulty is worth it. I’ll teach you why the hardest things are not always the most worthwhile.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/276

I truly believe self-love is the antidote to a lot of our self-created mental and emotional suffering — life sucks when you’re going through it hating yourself — but self-love is also often misunderstood. Tune in this week as I break down three common myths about self love. I’ll talk about why self-love is not selfish (and what it really is), how self-love will not get rid of all of your negative thoughts about yourself, and why self-love is a journey, not a destination.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/275

No matter how much love you do or do not feel on February 14, Valentine’s Day is just a made up ‘holiday.’ Yet we’ve been socialized to believe that a woman’s worth is dependent on having a certain type of romantic relationship. This week on the podcast I’m going to break down some common misconceptions about love. Join me as I discuss why love is not a state of being you simply arrive at, the real reason why you do (or don’t) feel loved, and why we think that love is an obligation.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/274  

The workplace can be challenging for a lot of people, but women and those socialized as women face a further set of challenges. This week on the podcast I’m joined by Jenn Deal, Annie Framand, and Jamie Lee (three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students) to discuss what ambition is and why women have trouble identifying with it, how to advocate for yourself in the workplace, and the right way to negotiate.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/273

This week on the podcast, I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Deb Malkin, Jill Angie, and Sarah Shiozawa as we discuss exercise — its risks, rewards, and morality. Tune is as we offer our definitions of exercise, unpack the “why” behind our exercising, and discuss the power of choosing for yourself what you do with your body.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/272

I hear from clients all the time how hard it is to build new friendships in adulthood. But is that actually true? Or are we making that be true by holding onto outdated beliefs about friendship? If you desire more friendships in your life, you won’t want to miss my discussion with Dr. Marisa G. Franco. Tune into this week’s episode as Dr. Franco and I discuss how outdated ideas about friendship can make it harder to form new ones in adulthood, how looking to friends to make you feel good about yourself can be a recipe for disaster, and the role that romance plays in friendships.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/271

I like to call this the most delusional time of the year because many of us use this time to make goals and resolutions for the coming year that are completely unrealistic for the people we are right now. No wonder many resolutions go unfulfilled; our goals are out of touch with reality. Tune in to this week’s podcast episode to learn one simple concept that will change your habit-making life, how this concept can keep your goal alive even when all hell breaks loose, and how you can tell whether or not your goal is really just a fantasy you’re chasing.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/270

I love the way I dress, but lately I feel like there’s been some disconnect in my style. I’ve changed, and so has my business, and I want my style to evolve as well. But I found myself not really knowing how to get my outward style to match my inward expression and where I’m at currently in my life.   Tune in as one of my friends and style coach, Judith Gaton, helps me hone my style and we discuss how to mesh different aspects of your personality into your style, how you can use your thoughts and your style to create the person you want to be, and how it’s never really about the clothes — it’s your thoughts about yourself in them.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/269

This week on the podcast, I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Sade Curry, Candice Toone, and Karen C.L. Anderson as we break down how patriarchal conditioning affects the way our mothers parent us. Tune is as we discuss mothers and mothering, how socialization impacts what we expect from mothers, and what work you can do (even on your own) to repair a mother or parental relationship in your life.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/268  

Why is it so hard for us to believe that we’re the authority? It’s because as women, we were socialized to think that way (shocking, right?) — to feel like we’re not quite adults and we’re just faking it till we make it. In this special podcast episode, you’ll hear an interview I did with Sarah Nicole on The Papaya Podcast. We’ll discuss how our socialization affects why we don’t see ourselves as adults, how women are taught to believe that our value fluctuates, and the conflict and tension inherent in being a working mom.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/267

How do you treat yourself when you don’t get the result you want? Or when you’re wrong about something? Or when you act in a way that you don’t like? Do you have your own back in these situations or do you make it mean there’s something wrong with you as a person?   Listen in as I discuss the difference between doing wrong and being wrong, how thinking you’re wrong can actually make you less likely to fix what went wrong in the first place, and how shame from being wrong keeps you from going after what you want in life.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/266

We often think romantic relationships have a natural progression, right? You meet the perfect partner, you start dating, and as things get serious you start talking about your future together — which usually involves moving in together, marriage, and maybe even kids. But the truth is, you and your partner always get to decide what your relationship looks like - even if it’s different from society’s expectations. This week on the podcast, in the conclusion of a 2-part series, the Gentleman Consort and I discuss getting to decide what our relationship looks like, how we’ve grown since we began dating, and what we love most about each other.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/265

This week, my partner, the Gentleman Consort (GC for short), is making his podcast debut and you’re going to get a behind-the-scenes peek at our relationship! In part 1 of this 2-part series, we cover the gamut from first impressions and first dates, to the GC’s introduction to thought work, to feeling disappointment in a relationship, to how perfectionism and communication affect your relationships.   Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/264