The world is a noisy place where you fight to be heard every day. Despite the fact that we have been taught at home and at school how to speak, none of us has had any training in how to listen. Multiple academic studies have shown that between 50% and 55% of your working day is spent listening, yet only 2% of people have been trained in how to listen. We feel frustrated, isolated and confused because we aren't heard. As a speaker, it takes absolutely no training to notice when someone isn't listening - they're distracted, they interrupt or drift away as you talk. Yet the opposite is also true, without any training in how to listen we struggle to stay connected with the speaker and the discussion. This results in unproductive workplaces where people fight to be heard and need to repeat themselves constantly, send emails to confirm what they said and then have follow-up meetings to ensure what was said was actually heard by those in the meeting. It's a downward spiral that drains energy from every conversation and reduces the productivity of organisations. This podcast is about creating practical tips and techniques to improve your daily listening. Listen for free
Claire Pedrick, Shaney Crawford and Oscar Trimboli explore the nuances and dynamics of workplace listening, including the importance of presence, flexibility, and curiosity. Key insights include: Listening is about creating shared meaning, not just exchanging information. Meaning only emerges in a collaborative space. Second languages and their musicality can provide insights into how we communicate and connect. Effective listening requires letting go of preconceptions and being willing to have your mind changed. Observing and sensing beyond just hearing is a critical aspect of workplace listening that is often overlooked. The process of noticing HOW people listen can be as enlightening as the content being discussed. A masterclass of the art and science of workplace listening, with valuable lessons for anyone seeking to improve their communication skills. Audio Format - S4 Episode 21: How to Listen with Oscar Trimboli Wednesday, May 01, 2024 - The Coaching Inn from 3D Coaching Video Format - S4 Episode 21: How to Listen with Oscar Trimboli Wednesday, May 01, 2024 - The Coaching Inn from 3D Coaching Podcast Episode 127: how to listen to what emerges in between - Part I of III Podcast Episode 128: how to listen to what emerges in between - Part II of III Podcast Episode 129: how to listen to what emerges in between - Part III of III S3 Episode 06: Listening - with Kathryn Mannix how to listen – fundamentals – workplace edition
12/18/24 • 49:10
In the previous episode 127, Claire Pedrick and I discussed listening through many dimensions, including the role of pause and silence, the influence of the backstory and its impact on workplace change. Now we are at Part Two of Three, you're about to hear is the reflections from 16 different listeners who initially emailed Claire with their feedback and were open enough to agree to record their perspectives. Some were recorded on audio, and some were video. I invite you to notice what these 16 listeners heard that was similar and different to you. What I loved exploring was listening to the wide variety of adjectives and verbs. They used to describe their insights, how they explained what they saw, and their thoughtful reflections about HOW it was said and WHAT was said. Audio Format - S4 Episode 21: How to Listen with Oscar Trimboli Wednesday May 01, 2024 - The Coaching Inn from 3D Coaching Video Format - S4 Episode 21: How to Listen with Oscar Trimboli Wednesday May 01, 2024 - The Coaching Inn from 3D Coaching how to listen – fundamentals – workplace edition
12/13/24 • 53:47
What emerges in between? This episode is an 'experiment' between Claire Pedrick and Oscar Trimboli as a result of an introduction by Shaney Crawford from Japan. They explore the role of second languages, the value of silence, and the importance of understanding the past. What does a group listening audit sound and look like? The experiment will continue for the next few episodes as they see what emerges in between episodes. Audio Format - S4 Episode 21: How to Listen with Oscar Trimboli Wednesday May 01, 2024 - The Coaching Inn from 3D Coaching Video Format - S4 Episode 21: How to Listen with Oscar Trimboli Wednesday May 01, 2024 - The Coaching Inn from 3D Coaching how to listen – fundamentals – workplace edition
12/12/24 • 48:36
This episode delves into the critical role of listening, particularly in the context of debates and the competitive advantage provided to participants. Sasan Kisravi explains the significance of preparation in debate, especially when preparing both sides of the argument. When preparing both sides of an argument, you can discover and anticipate the counterpoints that will help you discover multiple approaches to the same issue. The concept of "competitive listening" is emphasized, and it is important to understand an opponent's argument and analyze its impact on the judge and audience. Note-taking is a crucial tool for effective listening, but there is a difference between traditional note-taking and a more strategic approach. The latter involves creating a visual map of arguments, identifying key points, and tracking the flow of the discussion. This method allows listeners to maintain focus, identify unaddressed points, and ultimately gain a clearer understanding of the debate. The conversation also touches on the psychological aspects of listening, highlighting the importance of motivation and purpose. By understanding the nuances of effective listening, individuals can improve their communication skills, build stronger relationships, and achieve greater success at work. Listening is a competitive advantage: Effective Listening is crucial for success in debates and workplace communication. Preparation is key: Understanding both sides of an argument and anticipating counterpoints is essential for effective listening and responding. Note-taking is a strategic tool: Creating visual maps of arguments helps maintain focus, identify key points, and analyze the flow of the discussion. www.listening.com Where to start? Start here How to listen like a High Court Judge with Justice Michael Kirby Listen like World Memory Champion Dr Boris Konrad Brooklyn Debate League 01:38:00 - The complete Munk Debate - Mainstream Media featuring Douglas Murray, Matt Taibbi, Malcolm Gladwell, Michelle Goldberg November 30, 2022 00:47:36 The original Phuskin Industries Revisionist History Podcast Episode - Malcolm goes to debate school – complete audio episode April 13, 2023 00:10:10 Douglas Murray on Malcolm Gladwell: "I Still Don't Feel Pity"
8/13/24 • 40:11
The importance of listening at Level II, which is three-dimensional hear, see, and sense Noticing nonverbal cues and their congruence with their words is a vital skill toward becoming a deeper listener. While these cues can be informative, it's crucial to interpret them accurately and consider the context. During this episode we explore noticing the face, posture and breathing As we delve into the world of nonverbal cues, we are guided by Susan Constantine, Robin Dreeke, Michael Grinder and Andre Agassi. These four perspectives will create a deeper understanding by noticing, baseline and interpreting a range of non-verbals Finally, Agassi shares a secret about decoding Boris Becker's non-verbal signals which led to an eight-match winning streak in the 1990s. 066: Listening to body language with Susan Constantine 077: The secrets of listening like a spy with Robin Dreeke 085: Hidden Secrets of how to Listen for non-verbals with Michael Grinder
7/11/24 • 21:50
Insights from 33,519 people about what gets in their way of listening and practical tips about what will imrpove your listening. An update on the fourth generation www.listeningquiz.com including; aggregate listening profiles for more than 10 people cross-industry benchmarking administration features to track progress of completion volume discounts for organizations volume discounts for accredited consultants Where to start? Start here Podcast Episodes Categorized by the Five Levels of Listening Podcast Episodes Categorized By Korn Ferry Leadership Architect™ Competencies Podcast Episode 046: Listen to your audience like SXSW How to speak so my audience will listen Danish Dhamani How to effectively listen to someone who is suicidal Kevin Briggs Zoom fatigue and exhaustion - how it negatively impacts women more with Dr Anna Carolina Muller Queiroz One move ahead, how to listen like a chess grandmaster - Scott Sandland the hidden value in your contact center and how to listen at scale with Authenticx’s Amy Brown Learn how to listen with the patience of a neuroscientist Dr Alison J. Barker Supercommunicators How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
6/17/24 • 32:16
This episode of Deep Listening Impact Beyond Words explores the art of listening in diplomatic cross-cultural meetings, drawing insights from British Foreign Secretary James Cleverly's discussion with Cindy Yu on The Spectator's Chinese Whisper Podcast. Key takeaways: Focus on non-verbal cues: Ambassador Cleverly emphasizes that what people don't say, their body language, note-taking, and response delays are often more revealing than their spoken words. This applies not just to high-stakes diplomacy but also to everyday workplace meetings. Team listening: Effective listening involves individual attentiveness and collaboration within your team. The power of silence: Pay attention to pauses in the conversation. Their length, frequency, and placement can signal reflection, emphasis, cultural differences, or the weight of potential responses. Longitudinal listening: Notice subtle changes in language, body language, and overall tone over time during extended negotiations or repeated meetings. Actionable insights: Reflect on your listening habits: How much attention do you pay to non-verbal cues? Practice team listening: Discuss group observations and interpretations after meetings to gain a more comprehensive understanding. Refine your pause awareness: Observe how others use pauses and experiment with your own pausing to enhance meaning and impact. By applying these insights from diplomatic listening to your own workplace interactions, you can improve communication, build trust, and navigate complex situations more effectively. Additional Resources "Does China Care What Britain Thinks?" from The Spectator's Chinese Whisper Podcast hosted by Cindy Yu. "Ambassadors: Thinking About Diplomacy From Machiavelli To Modern Times" by Robert Cooper.
2/14/24 • 16:34
Nicole Lowenbraun and Maegan Stephens, authors of the book "Adaptive Listening: How to Cultivate Trust and Traction at Work," explain the impact of adapting your listening in the a corporate workplace. They introduce the SAID listening model, which stands for Support, Advance, Immerse, and Discern, each representing a specific listening style and goal. They emphasize that everyone has a unique listening style and good intentions but may not always meet the speaker's needs. Nicole, a content director, and executive speaker coach, highlights the necessity of adapting your listening style based on the speaker's requirements. Maegan, a senior director of communication services, shares her experiences in coaching executives and the challenges of listening and providing feedback tailored to executive leaders. They delve into their three-year journey of writing the book, emphasizing the need for detailed, actionable steps and memorable models for effective communication. They discuss the complexities of discernment in the workplace and offer insights into guiding others to listen effectively and seek the right type of listening in different situations. S A I D Support Advance Immerse Discern As a bonus, listen to Nicole, Maegan, and Oscar debrief on the process of listening during the recording of this discussion.
1/30/24 • 39:01
Authenticx CEO and Founder, Amy Brown, discusses the power of listening at scale in the contact center industry. She shares her personal experiences and how they shaped her understanding of the importance of listening to patients and customers. Brown emphasizes the need for organizations to listen to the authentic voice of the customer in order to drive positive healthcare outcomes. She also highlights the barriers to effectively utilizing conversational data and the ethical considerations of AI technology. Brown provides insights into how Authenticx's platform helps organizations unlock valuable insights and drive innovation through listening. She concludes by offering three key questions that organizations should ask when evaluating suppliers of systems for listening at scale. Amy Bown Authenticx Authenticx's Eddy Effect how to listen – the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace – visual edition – print & digital version how to listen - visual edition - the back story
1/10/24 • 38:45
Oscar Trimboli interviews Jamie Woolf and Heidi Rosenfelder, former employees of Pixar Animation Studios and founders of CreativityPartners, discussing the importance of listening in building connections and fostering innovation. Woolf and Rosenfelder emphasize the need to slow down the questioning process and ask better, more meaningful questions. They highlight the role of playback, curiosity, and emotional awareness in effective listening. We've got three copies of the book, Creativity, Inc, a behind the scenes story about creativity by the founder at Pixar, Ed Catmull. https://www.amazon.com/Creativity-Inc-Overcoming-Unseen-Inspiration/dp/0812993012 Email podcast@oscartrimboli.com with the subject Pixar and your reflections on this discussion between Jamie, Heidi and myself. The conversation touches on creating a safe and inclusive environment for all voices to be heard, as well as the impact of power dynamics on listening. Learn about advanced listening techniques including The playback Slowing down the process The importance of plussing The role of the environment Power dynamics Inside Pixar
12/4/23 • 23:45
Dr. Krishna Naineni works as a general practitioner in England. He's a member of the Royal College of General Practitioners and is a faculty at Brighton and Sussex Medical School. He's passionate about listening education, research, and practice. He's delivered structured and evidence-based listening education programs in the UK and in India to hundreds of healthcare professionals with practical strategies and the knowledge needed to enhance the way they engage with their patients through their listening practice. He has co-founded Glocal Academy, which has been instrumental in delivering custom-made clinical communication skills training programs to healthcare professionals and organizations across India and the United Kingdom. The academy delivered its first ever clinical communication skills training program in 2015 to healthcare professionals in India. He enjoys a long distance running and he hates cooking, but he loves eating food. During this discussion, Dr. Naineni change my mind about the impact of the environment in which you listen , education and your mindset, particularly in healthcare, but equally in workplaces all around the world. While you're listening today, reflect on the question about what does your physical or virtual environment contribute or detract from the effectiveness of your listening? I'd love to hear your answers, and for the first five people who send an email to podcast@oscartrimboli.com with a subject line Environment with an answer to these questions: 1. How does this conversation increase your awareness about the impact of your environment? 2. How does this play out in face-to-face environments? 3. How does it play out in virtual environments, 4. and what change will you make as a result of listening to this conversation? We'll send you a paperback copy of the award-winning book, how to Listen: discover the hidden key to better communication, the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace, and we'll send it in the post for you. What's the cost of not listening?
10/9/23 • 34:06
Matt Abrahams is a leading expert in the field of communications. He's a lecturer in organizational behavior at Stanford University's Graduate School of Business. He teaches a very popular class in strategic communication and effective virtual presenting. He's so good, he's even won the school's alumni teaching award. Matt also co-teaches improvisational speaking in Stanford's Continuing Studies program. To relax and rejuvenate, Matt enjoys hiking with his wife, watching sport with his kids, hang out with his friends, and continually being humbled in the Karate Dojo. In Matt's new book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter, an important contribution to the field of communication in the workplace, he takes the time to unpack the role of listening in communication. He highlights this in one chapter, yet there's a thread throughout the entire book about the importance of listening to the audience. The book provides really tangible and actionable tips and techniques to help you as the speaker succeed for the majority of times speaking spontaneously. Matt provides science-based strategies for managing your anxiety, responding to the mood of the room, making content concise, relevant, compelling and memorable. He draws on his own stories, he draws on stories from his clients and his students. He offers ways to navigate Q&A sessions, successful job interviews, providing feedback, even making small talk and persuading others while handling those impromptu moments at work. I've read his book a few times and Matt's punchy 20-minute podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart, has been in my podcast feed since 2020. I strongly recommend Think Faster, Talk Smarter because Matt deals with the issues about communication in the workplace that I think are the crucial ones, not the planned presentation, the spontaneous speaking moments. I'm listening to you. If you'd like to be one of the first five people to receive a copy of Matt's book, Think Faster, Talk Smarter, send an email podcast at oscar trimboli dot com with the Subject, Smarter, and answer these three questions. What did you learn from Matt? What did you learn from our conversation? And what will you do differently as a result of listening to today's episode? Listen to how well Matt listens and spontaneously answers when I throw him a curveball question at the end of our discussion. Matt, what's the cost of not listening?
9/26/23 • 42:02
Kathryn Mannix has spent her medical career working with people who have incurable advanced illnesses. Starting in cancer care and changing career to become a pioneer of the new discipline of palliative medicine, she's worked with teams in hospices, hospitals, and in patients' own homes to deliver palliative care, optimizing quality of life even as death is approaching. Kathryn has worked with many thousands of dying people and has found their ability to deal with illness and death both fascinating and inspirational. She believes that a better public awareness about what happens as we die would reduce fear and enable people to discuss their hopes and plans with the people that matter to them. Her account of how people live while they're dying, in her book, With the End in Mind, was published to Universal acclaim and was shortlisted for the Wellcome Prize. Kathryn's next book, Listen: How to Find the Words for Tender Conversations, starts with a potent story about her early career encounter with Mrs. de Souza. I encourage you to listen to this discussion more than once. Kathryn's listening, it's well class and the way she explains listening is compelling. I have five copies of Kathryn's book to share. If you email podcast@Oscartrimboli.com with the subject "Tender" and your reflections of this conversation. You could reflect on the story of Mrs. de Souza. You might reflect on Dorothy and her listening, or how you think about dancing and listening, the difference between doing and being listening, the impact of listening via video versus face-to-face. This is such a rich and nuanced experience. Kathryn completely changed the way I think about listening.
6/1/23 • 47:45
G'day, it's Oscar. This is an excerpt from How To Listen, the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace. It's from Chapter One of the audiobook. The audiobook format is fascinating, it's different, it's distinct and I hope that I've honored Trena's request to make it an impactful audiobook.
5/26/23 • 07:45
In this episode, MathPath Aubrey Blanche helps people, teams, and organizations notice the edge of their mental, and systems models. Listen for free
5/26/23 • 32:03
Imagine the cost of not listening in your workplace is someone's life, improving the quality of their life, extending their life. This is the life-changing work that is the focus of B Corp certified life sciences recruitment and search consultancy - RBW Consulting spanning Boston, the United Kingdom, Switzerland, North Carolina, and San Diego. Their work covers everything from computational biology, product development, engineering, regulatory affairs, and everything in between, across pharmaceutical and life sciences industries. Continuing with our behind-the-scenes season of speaking to people who are using Deep Listening, we listen to Emma and Michelle about their focus on Human Intelligence. First, a little backstory and a shout-out to Stuart from Stirred Health who reached out to me in September of 2021 with this message. "Hi, Oscar. I'm interested in discussing a collaboration/partnership on behalf of our client. We are keen to hear more about how Deep Listening could help us out and our client. I'm based in the UK." I was then introduced to their chief commercial officer, Emma and their learning and development director Michelle. What I love about working with RBW is the ripple effect of doing one thing consistently well. We discussed this very thoroughly in the co-design process, which was ultimately foundational into integrating Deep Listening into their Human Intelligence strategy. What you'll hear next is a discussion between Emma, Michelle, and myself about the impact of listening in the life sciences. Listen out for the story about how to consistently shorten meetings and build rapport how to listen beyond the CV the importance of the productive question rather than any question the question every candidate should be asking during an interview Listen for free
5/4/23 • 34:38
Today I'll explore before, during, and after a workshop. This is a workshop I had with Sophie, who you'll hear from shortly and her peers. Then we did the same workshop with Sophie's team. People regularly say, "Oscar, how can you listen after the conversation?" This can take many forms. It could be right at the end of a workshop where you ask a question or a poll roughly in the last 15% of the workshop. You want to catch it in enough time that you can discuss it so you can hear what's being heard by the participants. So if the workshop's one hour, you should be asking this question between the 45-minute mark and the 50-minute mark. Here's some of the questions I ask, what's one thing that changed your mind about listening today? what's one thing you'll implement based on what you heard today? The first question is typically in shorter workshops, and the second question is typically in longer workshops. Post-workshop, you can also run a survey or you can deconstruct the magical impact that a workshop has in a 25-minute debrief. I do this within 14 days of the workshop. What you don't know about me is I'm really disciplined and rigorous about post-workshop debriefs. In fact, I'm talking about that before people even book in a workshop. I'm signaling to them that there will be a debrief. I signal to them in the workshop, that is something we'll discuss in the debrief. And this is crucial to create a space and place, to create a container where the host of the meeting, or a significant executive sponsor can unpack the learning that they had, that the group had. I want to ensure that the host reflects on their own experience in the workshop and not just the workshop itself. What you'll hear from Sophie shortly is her post-workshop experience and how ideas landed so powerfully because the workshop was so experiential, it was very hands-on. I want hosts also to reflect on the participant experience, individuals, as well as a group. I want to listen to what participants actually heard, rather than what I said. I want to listen to what participants didn't hear, couldn't hear, or I didn't communicate effectively enough that it was useful for them. Finally, I want to understand what was productive for the audience so I can distill that and crisp that up for next time to ensure that if it's landed with one group, it's highly likely to land with another group. This is part of the craft of facilitating a workshop from a listening orientation, you want to hear what the group heard, what's landing, and what's not. When you pick that up and use it next time, it's like somebody who's a woodworker, who's moving from chisel to sandpaper to varnish. Sophie's been very gracious, she's allowed me to record this conversation to help you listen to what a debrief sounds like. Here are some of the excerpts from the discussion with Sophie.
4/13/23 • 13:55
Could you take a photo of yourself with the book and email it to podcast@oscartrimboli.com with the Subject Line “Cover”? I’ve set up a registration page for all these events so you can register for the rest of the year if you visit https://www.oscartrimboli.com/communityofpractice/ If you would like to provide feedback on the development of this course, you can visit https://www.oscartrimboli.com/coursefeedback Please send an email to podcast@oscartrimboli.com with the Subject Line “Book Club“, and a recommendation for a book you would like the group to explore. We’d love to add yours, send to podcast@oscartrimboli.com with the Subject Line “Hello World” Send an email to podcast@oscartrimboli.com and put in the Subject Line “Interview” if you’d like to be interviewed for the Deep Listening Podcast from the perspective of the Deep Listening Ambassador. If you’re interested in going deeper, then send me an email podcast@oscartrimboli.com with the Subject Line “Deeper” and what you took away from this next conversation.
3/23/23 • 21:05
Bryan Adams is the CEO and founder of Ph.Creative, recognized as one of the leading employer brand agencies in the world with clients such as Apple, American Airlines, , and Blizzard Entertainment. Bryan is author of Give & Get Employer Branding: Repel the Many and Compel the Few with Impact, Purpose and Belonging https://giveandget.net/ He is global employer brand expert and his creative, unconventional and even controversial methodologies are said to regularly change the way people think about employer branding and Employee Value Proposition (EVP) I love Bryan’s three Cs – culture, career catalyst and citizenship https://www.ph-creative.com/ Listen for free
3/2/23 • 23:43
In this episode of Deep Listening – Impact beyond words, we listen to Jenni Field, an international business communications strategist. Jenni helps organisations to get teams to work together better and review how operations can work more effectively. Jenni worked as a Communications Director for a global pharmaceutical business and Global Head of Communications for a FTSE 250 hospitality business. It is this experience that contributed to the development of The Field Model™ and her book, Influential Internal Communication Learn the difference between what an executive says and means when they say value. How do you think about the frequency of listening and communicating your actions will be as an organisation? If you would like a copy of Jenni’s book Influential Internal Communication: Streamline Your Corporate Communication to Drive Efficiency and Engagement We are gifting 3 copies of the book, send an email to podcast at oscar trimboli dot com with the subject line The Field Model and what you took from this episode into your workplace. Listen for free
2/15/23 • 27:06
Deep Listening Ambassadors 2023 The purpose of the Deep Listening Ambassadors Community is to create 100 Million Deep Listeners in the workplace. Be a listening role model in your community, not a perfect listener Being better than the last conversation Create a connection to useful listening resources Support other Deep Listening Ambassadors around the world The Deep Listening Ambassadors meet regularly across three time zones to understand, learn, and support each other to improve their listening. Background Born in December 2019, the Deep Listening Ambassador Community was named through a listening process. We asked people who wanted more information about listening if they would like a place to practice and improve their listening. Through a survey of 426 people, they voted, and the community agreed to call themselves Deep Listening Ambassadors. The community has grown 2,448 members across 19 countries explored how to bring Deep Listening into their workplace discussed how to make progress with their workplace listening during 93 online workshops across 3 time zones made connections with other Ambassadors provided feedback on how to listen – the book including title, structure, stories, and weekly exercises prototyped how to listen – an online course – including feedback about assessments, course structures, and pricing. Requested and provided input into a Deep Listening Accreditation The group has grown organically, and with 2,448 people who have joined the community, I wanted to invite you to let me know how you would like to shape the Ambassador community in the next 12 months. If you would like to have your say in the future of the community, I invite you to complete this 5 minute survey. As a thank you for your time and commitment to the community and the process of listening, I will post a paperback copy of how to listen - discover the hidden key to better communication - the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace to you, just for completing the survey. The survey must be completed on Midnight February 15, 2023 United States Pacific Time For everyone who completes the quiz will go into a draw. One person will be randomly drawn from the group, and they will be the winner of a bonus prize. Bonus Prize You will receive 10 copies of the book and a 45-minute listening online workshop for up to 20 people in your workplace. If you work for yourself, I will run this workshop for one of your clients or suppliers for up to 20 people. This workshop will need to be completed by June 30, 2023. www.oscartrimboli.com/feedback
2/2/23 • 06:32
Four Habits That Derail Listening, with Oscar Trimboli (episode 500) Dave's Interview interview notes in PDF format (free membership required)
1/13/23 • 44:17
Listening to you - a summary of your survey feedback and actions More Q&A episodes Shorter episodes Live episodes Actions Once a month continue with expert listener interviews Once a month your questions answered https://www.oscartrimboli.com/howtolisten https://www.oscartrimboli.com/videoconference https://www.oscartrimboli.com/90days https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/106 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/104 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/103 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/102 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/099 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/097 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/096 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/095 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/093 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/090 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/084 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/082 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/074 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/068 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/064 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/054 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/052 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/035 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/024 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/007 https://www.oscartrimboli.com/survey
12/1/22 • 13:32
Oscar Trimboli: The sophisticated and paradoxical power of deciding if and when to listen. G'day, It's Oscar, and today we have a question from a Deep Listening Ambassador in Japan. Shaney: Hi Oscar. This is Shaney from Tsukuba Ibaraki, Japan, and my question is about listening as a leader. Do you have any suggestions about how to continue to listen deeply as a leader when you tend to receive comments, suggestions, and ideas from so many people all day every day. It can be quite surprising for people who are new to leadership positions to realize just how much time leaders spend listening to people and how tiring it can be when the fourth or the eighth person in a day asks you if you have a minute and then launches into a rant or a criticism or a suggestion of how to improve something. Listening is so very important to leadership, but it can also be really, really hard to listen to comments and suggestions all day long, especially because you feel a personal obligation to fix the problems that people bring to you. Oscar Trimboli: Thanks, Shaney. This is a wonderful paradoxical and universal question independent of organization, culture, location, or country. My favorite kind of question, if you like Shaney, have a question about listening in the workplace, email podcast@oscartrimboli.com This question, it's a question about choice and timing. It could be about when to listen and when NOT to listen. It's also a question about attention and your listening batteries. When it comes to your listening batteries throughout the day, you need to check and notice what's your battery level right now is a green, yellow, red. You need to check what color your listening battery is before you start listening. Something I learned from James Clear in episode 67, advice is often context dependent. Shaney, I'm going to avoid giving you advice here as James points out questions can help you navigate beyond the context. Let's listen to how James explained it. James Clear: And one of the women that as a reader of mine and I talked to as I was working on the book, she lost a lot of weight, and she had this really great question that she carried around with her. Questions are often more useful than advice in the sense that advice is very context dependent. It's like, "Oh, it works in this situation, but what if you find yourself in a different situation now it doesn't apply as much." And the question that she carried around with her was what would a healthy person do? And so she could go from context to context and sort of have that question to reinforce the identity. That's actually in many ways, more useful than having a good workout program or a good diet plan because that you can only do once. But no matter where you're at, you can ask what would a healthy person do? Oscar Trimboli: Shaney, I'll share with you four types of questions, four categories of questions for groups of questions that have helped my other clients. It's important to understand that the question you are asked is very, very common and it's amplified when you're in a leadership role. The categories of the four questions are what, when, how, and who. Let's start with WHAT. What would make this a good conversation? What would make this a great conversation? What would make this an effective conversation? What do you want from this conversation? In the book, how to listen, we cover off the use of this question throughout the book, creating a listening compass for you and the other participants. It's a great way to hack the conversation to make it much shorter for you and for them. The reason we want to ask a WHAT question right up front is you want to understand the context for them and for you, because shortly I'm going to invite you to make a choice about when you should think about answering this question, Shaney. So let's move to WHEN Here's a group of questions to think about. When is the best time to discuss this with you? When is the best time for us to discuss it? And finally, although I'd love to discuss it right now and listen to you, I don't think I can effectively listen to what you want to achieve in this conversation. Can we discuss this at another time? Professor Cal Newport is very particular about the value he places on his time. And rather than dealing with each individual and their specific question, request feedback experiment, he encourages each of his students or peers to attend a regular weekly meeting. In that meeting, everybody can bring their request or their question along. He does this for three very specific reasons. 1. he has a defined time and more importantly, a defined process for dealing with these random rants, as you call them, Shaney, or the feedback or any of the other issues he's dealing with. He's placing them in space, time, and context where he can arrive with his listening batteries fully charged. 2. he creates the environment where others can participate. Others can listen to the range of questions that Professor Newport is asked, as well as listening to the way he thinks about answering these questions. 3. he thinks about his time being multiplied in a group context with many of the participants either self-solving when hearing others' answers, resolving their question with other participants, helping them in doing so. Newport is building a culture of mutual support. He's making himself independent of the process, and ultimately Newport explains how he would approach thinking about the issue rather than his recommendation to the other person or group about how to solve the issue. Shaney, one of the things I invite you to think about is if you feel like you need to fix, give them a simple framework to think it through rather than giving them an answer. In adopting this approach, Newport creates a sustainable listening process ensuring his listening batteries are fully charged before arriving at this regular meeting, whether it's face to face or virtual. Shaney, back in episode 61, when I discussed this issue with Professor Stefan Van der Stigchel from Utrecht University, he's written multiple books on the importance of attention. He reflected on his more direct approach when students or peers approached him with a question. Stefan Van der Stigchel: People come into my room when I'm on my work quite often to ask me questions or to talk about a certain experiment. And of course, when you're in your working environment, they're things are not always positive, right? What I've tried to learn is that communicate to, if people enter my room to say, this is not the right moment. I cannot listen to you. My mind is not open, my working memory is full, I'm worrying about something. And I've started to realize that people actually appreciate that if you say it in the past, there are too many occasions in which I was claiming to be listening and they ask me questions and I just noticed my mind is somewhere else. My mind wandering about the meeting before, and then I simply have to admit that I have no idea what they're talking about. And that's quite embarrassing and it's frustrating what I've learned from my peers that there are people who can acknowledge that they can acknowledge if somebody walks into the room, ask them a scientific question, please, not now. It's good to have a culture and in a work environment when you can admit that although I might be looking at you right now, I am honestly not listening. And this is not due to you. You're very interesting and you're probably a very interesting question. But what's happening to me right now is that my mind is wandering, and I'm not ready to receive your information. Again, my environment, people have to learn that's a possibility and that they can come back at a later time, but it's not something personal. Previously what happened to me is that I was sort of almost afraid to tell the other person because I was afraid that they were going to take it personally, right? That you are not interesting to me. And I try to make sure that it's not about them, but it's simply that the current situation is for some reason not appropriate. Oscar Trimboli: Shaney, when thinking about the WHEN of listening, the most generous thing, the most sustainable outcome for you, and the person asking the question, the rant, the person wanting to bounce something off you. The most generous thing I think you can do is NOT listen. When you're listening, batteries are drained when they're moving from yellow to red or from red to black. It doesn't help them, you or the organization you lead by listening, transactionally, listening superficially, bouncing between level one and maybe level two, listening for symptoms rather than moving between level two, three and four and listening for systemic implications. Listening is a skill, it's a practice, it's a process and ultimately a way to impact systemic change in a sustainable way for the organization you'd lead. As I mentioned earlier on, Shaney, the question you pose is a universal leadership issue. It's a common question my clients ask me. This is an interview with Katie Burke, who is the leader of people and culture at HubSpot, an organization where she's responsible for 6,000 employees globally. In this interview with Shane Metcalf, Chief People Officer for 15Five an employee engagement software company from June 21, it was called Reviving the Art of Listening with HubSpot's Katie Burke. Listen carefully as Katie describes how she manages her energy to make a bigger impact with her listening. Notice how she conserves her listening batteries and shares the difficult and draining parts of listening with other leaders and members of her team. Katie Burke: In my own journey on this front, I think a few things that have really worked for me, I got some really tough feedback my first few years as CPO that I was distracted and I was, and it was because I was trying to be everywhere at once and be all things to all people. And so the biggest tack for listening that I know is I say NO to almost everything, including I don't get a ton of energy from doing one-on-one coffee chats with people. I've just learned over the years. I feel like I'm saying the same thing over and over again. And also just I got emotionally worn down. It was just tiring. And so I don't do our new hire welcome as a group anymore because it just felt a little tiring. And then I don't do a ton of coffee chats both internally and externally. And the reason I don't do that is not because I don't enjoy doing that occasionally, it was because it was starting to really interfere with my ability to listen and be a great leader for my team. Great listening actually starts with being intentional around what you say no to. So you can be present for the people in your org and be the best leader possible when you're there. Shane Metcalf: It's so interesting around our own energy management, our own state is going to dictate are we able to listen? Especially HR is often the punching bag in an organization because HR people, we are the recipient of so much feedback, positive and negative, humans get flooded with emotion. When we're in a fight or flight state, there's a physiological change that happens in our ears and we actually stop listening. What I'm hearing from you is you needed to set boundaries and create the experience for you to do work that energizes you so that you could actually listen. Katie Burke: I personally think there should be much more discussion for CHROs, for HR business partners, for anyone who bears the emotional breadth of an organization, of talking about how I think people talk a lot about self-care and break and rest. Those are all great, but don't get to the core fix. And I think what I had to learn is I have to actually just be really disciplined around my schedule because it creates space for me to do the things that I know make me a better listener. And for me, that's getting outside once a day, getting my run in the morning. I'm a much better person, leader, manager, you name it. If I get outside and get a workout in. And then the other thing is just being intentional around what gives you energy and being honest about that. I grew up very much a people pleaser. It was a really hard habit for me to break, and I don't think people love that. It's my habit. I've had to get really comfortable with the fact that it is the only thing that allows me to keep listening, to HubSpotters and being a good leader for my team. Shane Metcalf: It's a worthwhile process for all of us to check in. Am I actually in a state where I can listen? Because I've gone through this, I've gone through periods where I'm like, I don't want to hear any more feedback. I'm sick of it. People just complain. We're never going to make people happy. I'm in the pretty negative state and then I have no receptivity to actually listen to what my people are saying and anything they say will probably be viewed through that lens of I don't want to hear it. Katie Burke: Agreed. I've also just had to say no. There are times when I think taking a meeting does you want to listen to someone. If you're not, there is actually a bad use of both of your time. And so one of the things I've said to some people is. Hey, I'm actually not in a great spot to really have the conversation I think we need to have, and so I need to wait until tomorrow. I need to wait until I'm in a better spot or I think someone on my team is better suited to have this conversation given that they can really understand and empathize where you are because I think when people are in an acute state, they need someone to listen to them a 100%. I need to be honest if you're not there. The other thing is just that's where I come back to you're not going to make everyone happy. I used to hold myself to a really high bar. I wanted to think that everyone who, if we had a tough meeting to listen to people that everyone would leave saying like, "Wow, our people operations team is great." What I've started doing is now leaving those meetings where the goal is just to make people feel heard, not to make them feel better, just to make them feel heard. That takes some of the pressure off because the other thing is I'm a bias for action person. I tend to lean into how do we solve things? It takes the pressure off to solve it because my only job there is to be present to what they're feeling. Oscar Trimboli: Shaney, the most impactful, sustainable, and generous listening could be when you choose NOT to listen in that moment, reacting and trying to fight the urge to fix, kind of showing up like the shrewd listening villa from our listening quiz, becoming conscious that your ego wants to fix, solve, and answer. It's great in the moment, but it doesn't drive systemic change. Create a phrase that works for you. The four A's at this point, ask, acknowledge, assess, and agree. Ask what would make this a good conversation or outcome? Acknowledge their point and issue or even question, or problem Assess when is the most effective time for a sustainable, impactful discussion? Agree, when or who to meet with to progress it. Shaney, we've covered the what and when. I just want to quickly talk to you about how and who. These additional categories of questions are really useful when the conversation happens. First, let's talk about HOW. How would you like to discuss it? How will we allocate our time exploring the past and the future? How long have you been thinking about this? How will we know if we've made progress? Let's move on to the WHO Who else noticed this issue originally? Who else does it impact? and Who needs to be involved in discussing or resolving it? Shaney, to make this very practical, very pragmatic, and actionable for you. My go-to question for the random rant, the curious question, or the feisty feedback, What would make this a good conversation for you? They will either tell you they want to have a rant with no outcome, or they may request you to be their thinking partner, or more likely than not, they'll try and put the problem-solving monkey back on your back. At this point, Shaney, notice the pattern in their questions three or more of the same kinds of questions. You're probably dealing with a systemic issue, and I speculate you probably can't solve it alone, or at least in the pair that are discussing the problem. Define an allocated time on a regular basis for you to triage all of these kinds of discussions into one context where your listening batteries are fully charged. As Katie mentioned, sometimes people just want you to hear them out rather than fix, especially when you don't have the listening batteries available to listen and fix in the moment. Finally, every conversation doesn't and can't be a process of deep listening. You can't always deeply listen. You need to be flexible and adjust accordingly in the situation. Sometimes just being present and allowing them to be heard will be enough. This makes your listening light and easy and it doesn't drain your listening batteries. A quick reminder, your role as a listener is not to comprehend everything the speaker says. It's your role to help the speaker better understand what and how they're thinking about an issue and ultimately help them to understand what they mean and where they want to progress. Shaney, thanks for the brilliant question. G'day. It's Oscar. This podcast episode is an experiment in a few parts and one of the things that's happened in between the time Shaney sent me the question, I recorded the responses that I sent it back to her in draft format to ask her for a few reflections. I gave her four questions to ponder. Shaney listened to what I sent her and shared it with her team, and I've asked her to reflect on four questions. Also, in between that time I have been completely flat on my back with a virus for seven days, so my voice is probably sounding a little different. What you'll hear next is Shaney reflecting back on the questions I posed to her. Let me know what was most helpful in what I've explored. Shaney: I don't need to fix, solve, or answer anything when I'm listening to people. I just need to make sure that people are heard. When I played it for my team, they really reacted positively to the concept of a listening battery and also to the idea that not every conversation can or should be a process of deep listening. Oscar Trimboli: Which one of these will you experiment with? Which one will be easy for you to implement? and What will be sustainable in the context in which you leave? Shaney: I will definitely be trying to remember not to go into conversations with the intent to solve anything. This will be very hard for me as I have a lifetime habit of doing just that. I think that this is very important and as a leader, I really need to try to help the people that I'm talking to find ways to solve their own problems instead of trying to solve them for them. People take more ownership of decisions and outcomes when they come to their own conclusions, so I'd like to learn more about how I can suppress my urge to fix things. I need to do a better job of listening to ensure that my colleagues are heard and that they're supported in finding solutions that work for themselves in their own context rather than just me giving advice to them that may or may not work because I may or may not have fully accounted for the context that they're working in. In my team, we talked about how saying no can be quite difficult in our context as one of our goals is to be approachable and available to the students, parents, and staff members at our school. We talked about how we can conserve our batteries by acknowledging the person and their query and actively deciding whether or not this is the best time to have the conversation. We think that can work well with students and parents, but we're still not sure how to say no in a compassionate way that doesn't make our colleagues feel like they're being ignored or rebuffed when they approach us to talk about something that may be, for example, personal or professional. The when is difficult for us. It's pretty difficult for some of my colleagues to have control over when their conversations happen with their colleagues. They can set appointments for students and parents, but conversations with colleagues happen all the time. Two of the colleagues that were in the meeting with me have an office that is in a rather public area, so people walk by and talk to them all the time, and that can be really tiring and they can often get involved in conversations about both professional topics and personal topics, and they mentioned that it can be tiring to switch back and forth between the professional and the personal conversations. We decided as a team that we might experiment with having a set time in our meetings where our colleagues can bring up the professional issues that have come up through the week. This could be one way to say, not now kindly, at least when the issue is professional, by acknowledging the issue and saying, let's talk about it at the next meeting. What would be easy to implement? It would be relatively easy to implement the idea of having a pre-conversation with the person we're speaking with to determine what would make the conversation a success. It could even happen during or after the conversation, or it could be something that we try to remember to ask ourselves as we enter into various conversations throughout the day, And finally, what would be sustainable in the context that we lead? In my context, it's sustainable for me to become more conscious of how my ego is reacting to whatever is being said and to remember to have an awareness of both the state of my listening batteries and that I can choose not to listen deeply at that moment if that is the more considerate and humane response because my batteries are particularly low at that moment. Oscar, I can't believe you made an entire podcast for me and my question. I loved every second of it. I sincerely feel that all of it was useful and productive. You really listened to my question. You heard it and you understood the heart behind the words. Oscar Trimboli: If you like Shaney, have a question about listening in the workplace or you'd like me to pose a few questions or reflections or framework rather than just answering your question, podcast@oscartrimboli.com. And if you don't have a question yet, you learn something from the question Shaney posed today and possibly hers or her team's reflection, email me podcast@oscartrimboli.com Let me know what was useful in this episode, the format, the interaction, the questions rather than the answers, and what possibly is transferable and useful into your workplace. I'm Oscar Trimboli and along with the Deep Listening Ambassadors, we're on a quest to create a 100 million Deep Listeners in the workplace and you've given us the greatest gift of all. You've listened to us. Thanks for listening. Shaney : Hi Oscar, it's taken a while, but over the past couple of days, I've been able to catch myself in conversations and work on directing my listening The first step -- self-awareness is so hard, but so crucial as you can't take any other steps until you're actually aware that you're in a situation where you need to test out your new conscious listening paradigm. In at least three conversations over the past two days, I've been able to get to that level of self-awareness that allows me to pause and remind myself not to try to solve any problems for anyone else, and instead try to ask myself what would make this conversation a success. This is revolutionary, the whole flavor of conversations changes. I'm able to relax and actually listen to the person if I don't have to feel the pressure of solving anything. Conversations are also shorter because people feel heard more quickly and are okay with moving on, so I'm ever so grateful to you and your podcast for opening up my eyes to this whole new world.
11/11/22 • 26:44
The show producer has not yet provided a description for this episode.
10/21/22 • 60:04
G'day - I'm Oscar Trimboli, and this is the Apple award-winning podcast, Deep Listening: Impact Beyond Words. Good listeners focus on what's said and deep listeners notice what's not said. Each episode is designed to help you learn from hundreds of the world's most diverse workplace listening professionals, including anthropologists, air traffic controllers, acoustic engineers and actors, behavioral scientists and business executives, community organizers, conductors, deaf and blind leaders, foreign language interpreters and body language experts, judges, journalists, market researchers, medical professionals, memory champions, military leaders, movie makers and musicians. You'll learn from neurotypical and neurodiverse listeners, as well as neuroscientists and negotiators, palliative care nurses and suicide counsellors. Whether you're in pairs, teams, groups or listening across systems, whether you're face to face, on the phone or via video conference, you'll learn the art and science of listening and understand the importance of the neuroscience and these three critical numbers: 125, 400 and 900. You'll also learn three is half of eight, zero is half of eight, and four is half of eight when you listen across the five levels of listening, conscious of the four most common barriers that get in your way. Each episode will provide you with practical, pragmatic and actionable techniques to reduce the number of meetings you attend and shorten the meetings you participate in. The Deep Listening Podcast is the most comprehensive resource for workplace listeners. Along with the deep listening ambassadors, we're on a quest to create a hundred million deep listeners in the workplace one conversation at a time. The Ultimate Guide for Listening on a Video Conference, Host Edition This episode is the last of three in a series about how to listen as host during a video conference. If you haven't had a chance to listen to the overview, Episode 101, it outlines three things: 1. sequence before, during and after the meeting. 2. the role. Are you the host or the participant? And 3. the meeting size, intimate, interactive or broadcast. In episode 101, we dived deeply into sequence, how to think about before, during and after the video conference. In part two, episode 102, we explore your role as the host as well as a participant. Like all the episodes, you can revisit them based on their episode number. This one would be www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/103 And the first episode in this series would be 101, and the second, 102. If you haven't done so already, I strongly recommend you listen to these episodes in sequence starting at 101, 102 and then this one, 103. You can listen to 101 at www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/101 In this episode, the final in the series, we explore listening and hosting tips based on meeting size. There are three meeting sizes. 1. The first one, the intimate meeting, you, maybe one or two others. It might be a catch up meeting with a peer. It might be a meeting with your manager. It might even be a job interview. A quick reminder, intimate meetings refer to the number of participants in the meeting, not the content being discussed. 2. Meeting size number two, interactive. You as the host are part of the Zoom meeting, which has between three and 15 people. Typically, it's a regular meeting. It's a team meeting. It's a work in progress meeting. It could be a group meeting. It could be an executive or an ex-co meeting. It could be a board meeting. It could be a kickoff meeting. These meetings have a deliberate purpose, agenda and one or many hosts and one or many agenda items. 3. Meeting three, this is the broadcast meeting. These meetings typically involve over 20 people, and some people say the opportunity for engagement is limited. In the 105 pages of The Ultimate Guide to Listening in a Video Conference, www.oscartrimboli.com/videoconference the primary navigational orientation is by meeting size. The first question you need to ask yourself is what type of meeting, and then you can use the navigation inside the document to move you around really quickly. If you visit oscartrimboli.com/videoconference, there's a 17-page preview guide. In the preview guide, this outlines the welcome, the introduction, who is this guide for and who is it not for? There's an explanation about how to use the guide, including the three key pages of navigational guidance. These are organized by the meeting size. Each meeting, intimate, interactive or broadcast, is organized into a three by three grid. Across the top from left to right, the context of the meeting, these three boxes, independent of the meeting, represent the host perspective, the participants' perspective and the meeting's outcome. From left to right, it goes host, participant, outcome. From top to bottom, it represents before, during and after the meeting. In each of these nine boxes, there's a hyperlink which will take you directly to the explanation of each term with actions, questions, techniques and tips to make you a great listening host. For the broadcast meeting, these boxes focus the host as follows: Before, ask three questions of the group to understand their current mindset. During, acknowledge the themes in response to your initial three questions. After, announce what was heard during the broadcast and when you communicate the actions accordingly. Before we jump into the guide, let's listen to Hugh Forrest, who serves as the chief programming officer for South by Southwest, held annually in Austin, Texas. This event brings together more than 70,000 industry creatives from across the United States and around the world. And I have to say I'm very excited that in 2023, South by Southwest comes to my hometown of Sydney and looking forward to catching up with Hugh. Next, Hugh will explain how South by Southwest prepare for thousands of broadcast presentations. Hugh Forrest: We spend what I'd like to say is an inordinate amount of time reading through user feedback from the previous year. There are many good reasons for doing that. You learn about the event from a completely different perspective than you had as an organizer. There are often things that you learned that were great that you had no knowledge of. There are often things that you learned that didn't go so well that you had no knowledge of, and that just reading this feedback gives you a much better perspective and much fuller perspective and much more nuanced perspective of what was good and what needs improvement. That process of reading feedback, of digesting feedback, of trying to understand feedback, of listening to what your users and what your community is saying can be mentally, emotionally, spiritually exhausting. It's often not easy reading sharp criticisms of what you've done, particularly if you think you've done something incredibly great, but I think you try to have a generally positive attitude here and understand it's all part of the learning process and helps you get better and throughout the most harsh criticisms and throughout the highest praise and the whatever objective truth is somewhere in the middle, but again, helps you do that by reading this feedback. So we'll spend six weeks reading feedback, trying to analyze that feedback, try to put that into some general themes and even more specific themes. And then by about late May, early June, we're beginning to plan for the next year. And one of the big pieces in terms of planning for the next year is this South by Southwest Panel Picker interface that we've been using for approximately a decade. This is an interface where anyone in the community, which basically means that anyone with a web connection can enter a speaking proposal. It allows us to listen to what the community wants to get new ideas and new speakers into the event. We'll get somewhere in the neighborhood of 5,000 total ideas, speaking proposals for South by Southwest, of which hopefully about a thousand of those will be accepted to the event. The other 4,000 are also, again, very, very useful in terms of trying to discern what our community wants to hear, what our community wants to learn about that our community is much more focused on learning the latest technologies. This Panel Picker system is ultimately a way for us to communicate with our audience, for us to learn from our audience, for us to listen to our audience, and I think it's one of the many things that has helped us continue to improve present event. Oscar Trimboli: Whether you're preparing for 70, 700, 7,000 or 70,000 as Hugh has just explained, when it comes to the broadcast format, the majority of effort is actually in the preparation. Let's jump to the guide now and understand how to prepare to listen before you commence the process of putting the content together for the broadcast meeting. If you were to click on the link for the host in the guide right now before the broadcast meeting, this is what you'd read. Before the meeting, many techniques available during intimate and interactive meetings are available in the broadcast meeting as well in the broadcast meeting. Especially the ability to ask participants questions before the broadcast, during the registration process. These questions signal that you want to listen. You want to make the session interactive. You want to signal to the audience that you want them to be part of the presentation. Whatever you collect before the meeting, please make sure you summarize and integrate the themes from registration into the content of your broadcast. This is where your effort will be. It will be in collection, categorization, summarization and ultimately, presentation back to the group. Be conscious that your questions in advance will influence and impact you, the participants, the group and the outcome. For the broadcast meeting, balance your questions and responses between open questions and questions that force the participants to rate or rank a value that you can deconstruct later on for the audience. In the guide, we provide a link on how to customize your meeting or webinar registration. If you are doing this via a Zoom meeting, the setting can be found via meeting, new meeting, and you want to check registration required. Make sure that check box is checked to on. When you do, make sure you hit save because it's a two-step process. Then scroll down to the very end of that webpage and you will see a section called registration. You will have a new selection field called registration options. Here, select edit. Then you'll be offered questions in a range of mandatory fields like first name, last name, country, city, etc., and you'll be asked questions and comments. That's right at the bottom. Make sure you check that on and set it as a required field. Now, make sure you hit safe again. It's really critical to hit save. These custom questions, you can tailor them for the audience as part of the registration process, and now when they register for the event, they will be offered a mandatory question to complete. Remember, you don't need to use Zoom tools to collect this information, yet it creates a strong incentive for the audience if they answer the questions as part of the registration process. It's just simply a better experience for them as well. In the guide, we also provide a link to the full information about how to set up these questions as part of the registration process if you're using a Zoom webinar. Next, consider what and how you'll ask for information. If you're requesting a response as a comment to this question, how clear is our strategy? This will allow people to type in a few words, a few sentences to describe this. This creates nuance. This creates texture. This creates really useful verbatims that emerge from the patterns of user responses. Now, that's a very different level of engagement and care if you ask participants the identical question, yet they can only choose from one of these five, so the question might be, our strategy is clear, and then the options you may offer them, strongly agree, disagree, neither disagree or agree, agree or strongly agree. Those five options will fit nicely into a chart, a pie graph. They will provide very clear numeric insights for the room. What it lacks then is the richness of the insights from the verbatim. Now, if we use the first question alone just with comments, this will require more effort on your part in preparation. The second, it'll take you about 30 seconds to graph that information. Now, neither is right or wrong and what I recommend that where possible, use both approaches to collect some numeric information and some information that's open comments as well. No matter how you choose to listen and ask questions in advance of the broadcast, please make sure you summarize them into themes and ideally into your response in your action plan in the first third of your broadcast. Now, an assumption many people make is that you need to present the broadcast live. Yet, if you use these techniques, you can prerecord the broadcast as well. There is no reason that you can't think about given the outcome of this meeting, should my content be prerecorded or should it be presented live? I don't think a lot of leaders think about the trade off in live versus prerecorded. When is either appropriate is an important question to ask. Now, back to the questions. Balance your questions between open and defined responses. Here are five examples. What is one question you'd like to ask the presenter about the topic? What is one barrier to achieving the outcome? What is one resource you must have to achieve the outcome? Which one of our competitors can we learn the most from and why? And finally, what is one thing our customers are consistently asking us for that we aren't providing? Now, the focus on one is designed to prioritize the responses from the audience. In question four, which one of our competitors can we learn the most from and why? This question allows not only the competitor to be named, a value, but why allows us to get more nuanced. So make sure you balance them and use your judgement about whether you're using prioritization questions or open ended questions. Next, you want to think about the participant's perspective. Depending on the audience size, I recommend you create subsets of perspectives from the audience's responses to your questions, rather than treating every result exactly the same. If the audience is more than 30 people, you should be breaking down the presentation into multiple groups. It might be by age or tenure or location or profession, maybe by department or seniority. Collecting this information in big, big groups, hundreds and hundreds of people will allow you to prerecord broadcasts that are tailored specifically to audience subsets. Now, not all organizations will have the ability to create registrations like that, but when we've used this, it's been really potent form of listening for the broadcast. For live audiences, it means you'll be tailoring parts of the presentation as well. Examples of this could include tailoring your communication based on the departments in an organization setting. It might sound like this. "This is what we heard from finance and this is what we'll do as a result for finance employees. We heard something slightly different from engineering. They need us to be doing this, and it'll take us a little bit longer, possibly the next three months." Another context could be based on the tenure of the employees, how long they've been working for your organization. Your content could sound like, "We notice employees with a tenure beyond a decade have these three key issues, whereas employees that have been with the organization for only two years have these immediate priorities." Providing these insights based on the group information collected creates a perspective not just for you as the presenter, it creates perspective for everybody in the audience to realize that their perspective is not unique, and other areas, groups or departments have slightly different requirements. This also sets them up for success in helping them achieve their outcomes as well because they are listening not only for their departments but also the needs of other departments, other projects, other tenure groups. This unifies the perspective of each person and integrates them across the organization. The final context could be if you are presenting to a completely unknown audience, you might need to find content and context criteria to integrate it in. Examples of how I've used this, "although customer care team spent more time talking with the customers than executives, executives spend more time talking about the importance of customers." Another approach I used in a presentation was "although finance spends time discussing cost control, they are the highest paid employees in the organization. " The contrast of both of these creates deep engagement, and in both cases, it set the chat on fire. Finally, thinking about the outcome. Think about your themes, your groups and cohorts defined by playing back participant issues and ensure that these themes are amplified in the first third of the broadcast, and sprinkle this content throughout the middle and final third of your presentation, and this will maintain the audience's engagement. I just want to share some of my perspective when I define this checklist with the organizations I speak to, to broadcast with. We go through a checklist typically a week to two weeks out. This is typically administrative setup. Who is the host? What is the introduction? How will the handovers work? Is there a moderator? These kinds of questions. One thing that consistently surprises me though is my request to have closed captions activated before the meeting commences. Not everybody in the audience's first language will be the language I'm speaking in. Activating live transcription or closed caption is a simple way to assist people where the broadcast language is not their first language. If people get distracted during the broadcast, they can quickly return to the discussion by catching up through closed captions because it's typically delayed between three and seven seconds. Please keep in mind that the participants can activate or deactivate the closed captioning themselves, but they can only do that if it's turned on in the administrative settings of Zoom. This covers off the first part, the before part of a broadcast section from the guide. There are seven pages dedicated to the broadcast meeting. We have just covered off the first three pages, the before section of the guide as it relates to the broadcast meeting. Whether you're a beginner, intermediate or a Zoom master host, the 105-page Ultimate Guide to Listening in a Zoom Conference has many more tips and techniques for you. The difference between hearing and listening is action. If you would like to access the guide, visit www.oscartrimboli.com/videoconference. There you'll be able to see the preview of the guide, 17 pages or the 105-page guide. I'm Oscar Trimboli, and along with the Deep Listening Ambassador community, we're on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace one conversation at a time. And you've given us the greatest gift of all today. You've listened to us. Thanks for listening.
10/14/22 • 24:56
The Ultimate Guide for Listening on a Video Conference – Host Edition Part II of III G'day, I'm Oscar Trimboli and this is the Apple award winning podcast, Deep Listening, Impact Beyond Words. Good listeners focus on what's said and deep listeners notice what's not said. Each episode is designed to help you learn from hundreds of the world's most diverse workplace listening professionals, including anthropologists, air traffic controllers, acoustic engineers and actors, behavioral scientists and business executives, community organizers, conductors, deaf and blind leaders, foreign language interpreters and body language experts, judges, journalists, market researchers, medical professionals, memory champions, military leaders, movie makers, and musicians. You'll learn from neurotypical and neuro diverse listeners as well as neuroscientists and negotiators, palliative care nurses and suicide counsellors. Whether you're in pairs, teams, groups, or listening across systems, whether you're face to face, on the phone, or via video conference, you'll learn the art and science of listening and understand the importance of the neuroscience and these three critical numbers. 125, 400 and 900. You'll also learn three is half of eight, zero is half of eight, and four is half of eight, when you listen across the five levels of listening, conscious of the foremost common barriers that get in your way. Each episode will provide you with practical, pragmatic, and actionable techniques to reduce the number of meetings you attend and shorten the meetings you participate in. The Deep Listening Podcast is the most comprehensive resource for workplace listeners. Along with the Deep Listening Ambassadors, we're on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the workplace, one conversation at a time. How to listen on a video conference, a host perspective. This episode is part of three in a series about how to listen in the context of a video conference. If you haven't had a chance to listen to the overview episode, episode 101, which outlines three distinct ways to approach a meeting through sequence before, during, and after the video conference. The second, your role, host or participant, and the third is the size of the meeting, intimate, interactive, and broadcast. During episode 101, we did a deep dive into sequence. We explored before, during, and after the video conference. If you'd like to learn more, visit www.OscarTrimboli.com/podcast/101. The difference between hearing and listening is action, and the difference between reading and impact is action too. It was great to hear the impact the guide has already made for others. Let's listen to three people who took the time to send me a message to explain the impact of the ultimate guide on how to listen to a video conference. Lena: Kia ora, Oscar, this is Lena from New Zealand. I wanted to thank you for a great suggestion I heard in the latest podcast on the Ultimate Guide to Hide My Own Video. I started doing it and I'm definitely tired and exhausted after a day spent catching up with various people. This was so life changing for me that I started sharing this step with others. Thank you. Jeff: Hi, Oscar. This is Jeff from St. Paul, Minnesota. I wanted to share with you what's changed in my approach to listening after reading and implementing the tips you provided in the Ultimate Guide to Listening in a Video Conference. First, you highlight that in a video conference, an attendee can only listen continuously for 12 seconds. That particular stat surprised me and it led me to think more about how you've actually modelled this particular change throughout meetings of the Deep Listening Ambassador community to keep us engaged. You changed which camera's showing you, you changed all video to all slides. You asked questions which can be looking for vocal responses, but sometimes you ask us to reply to your questions simply in chat. Which actually reminds me of my second application from the book. When a group meeting grows in size, consider seeking feedback during the meeting via chat. I seriously don't think many people consider this very often. It can help prevent collisions of multiple people trying to answer at the same time while it also gives the speaker a chance to highlight and ask more questions based on an interesting response from the audience. It gets people involved who might find it easier to type their thoughts rather than vocalising them. It also gives the host a chance to reinforce responses to important material from the meeting. And thirdly, I think about the speed at which most of us want to absorb and make changes that improve the impact of our listening in meetings that we host. The amount of time you recommend rolling out these changes from the book, it surprised me as well. I know there are small things we can do and probably should do in the very next meeting we perform, but I also think that some people are looking for an overnight change in becoming a better host. Encouraging them to take more time and make these bigger changes is going to seem counterintuitive, but it's probably good advice when making longer term changes. Some subtle updates can help us not shock our audience. Natasha: Hello, Oscar. It's Natasha from San Antonio, Texas. I wanted to share the impact of implementing some of the tips and techniques from The Ultimate Guide to Listening in a Video Conference. Some of the things I have been implementing are around preparation for when I facilitate workshops. I have a little sticky note on the side of my computer screen that says participants, and then under that it says, thinking, feeling, doing, and I've been making sure the agenda and objectives are all clear in advance. I've noticed that I get a lot more interaction throughout the session and my introverted teammates have reached out and said they really appreciate it. I've been making sure I can see as many participants as possible at once, and this has allowed me to see when people do the little unmute to speak, but then someone else jumps in before that person has started, so then I can circle back to them so they feel seen and heard. Overall, I've noticed three main things since I've brought this awareness and listening to my sessions. First, more interaction in the actual sessions. I think people feel empowered before and during and then they feel seen during, so they are speaking a lot more, which is great for a lot of reasons. We have so many great minds and when they share more, we get more ideas and more insights. Second, more people are staying after to continue the conversation with me and with each other. This has been really great and has helped our teammates connect across business units. Finally, more folks reach out in appreciation. While it's nice to be appreciated, the bigger thing here is that people are finding a deeper value in those sessions. Oscar Trimboli : Three great distinct perspectives from members of our Deep Listening Ambassador community. Thank you for sharing them, Lena, Jeff and Natasha. If you'd like to access the guide, visit ww.oscartrimboli.com/videoconference Today we're going to discuss the difference between listening as the host and as a participant. The Ultimate Guide to Listening in a Video Conference is the Host Edition, and it is designed to provide for the perspective of the host. And while there are many host specific tips and techniques, as Lena pointed out, a tip as simple as hide my own video that she mentioned are just as useful when you are in the role of a participant. Today, my recommendation for you as a host is, I'm going to outline a number of host and participant specific techniques. Please just pick one tip or one technique and apply it and practise it for at least 10 meetings until you try the next one. To ensure you do that, I've provided the tips in sequence with the most basic to the most advanced all the way throughout our conversation today. When you are successful at implementing these tips and techniques, you want to build a muscle that's sustainable in the way you develop these techniques. You want to be subtle about them too. You don't want to create a disjointed experience if you are used to working with the same group of people. The size of these changes are very small, and my wish for you is that your audience doesn't notice how small it is as they're coming along on the journey with you. These techniques are specific to help you as the host to listen, and equally to help the participants listen to each other. A good meeting host will get the active speaker to be listened to, but a great meeting host will have everybody listening to each other. As Jeff mentioned in his reflection, when he was part of the Deep Listening Ambassador Community, he didn't even realize I was using some of these techniques until he read about them in the guide. We'll categorize today's tips into three distinct ways. The first one is if you are new to hosting a Zoom meeting, if you are new to a role as a host in a Zoom meeting versus a participant, The next is, look, you're a regular host of meetings. Maybe it's team meetings and you want to take your host listening orientation to the next level. The third way is, if you spend the majority of your time as the host rather than a participant. If you'd consider yourself an advanced user of Zoom, that is, 80% of your meetings are as host rather than participant, then we'll provide tips specifically for you as well. Let's start by thinking about Zoom meetings if you are not an experienced host. These three tips I would recommend, choose the first one and work your way up. Make sure that you think about building these techniques and I provided the simplest one first and then build on top of that. If your role has recently adjusted to being a Zoom host, I would recommend just practizing this technique in smaller meetings, in the intimate meeting with one or two other participants. First, before the meeting, check with the other participant or participants what they want to achieve from the meeting. You can do that with an email, a phone call, a text message, a Slack message or WhatsApp message. Next, at the beginning of the meeting, if they've responded, just confirm and say, look, when I ask you what the purpose of the meeting is, just ask them if it's changed. Because sometimes between the time we schedule a meeting and the time we have the meeting, we want to be listening for different things. Now, I can hear a lot of people saying, yeah, Oscar, but what if people don't respond to my message? What if they don't reply? That's okay. In the very first part of the meeting, I would be very specific and say, the first 5% of the meeting. Ask this question, what would make this a great meeting? Don't ask, what would make this a great meeting for you? Because that gives an invitation of people to be really, really selfish and they don't answer the opposite question. The opposite question is really simple. What would make it a great meeting for you as the host? So when they tell you what will make it a great meeting for them, use that as a compass setting for the meeting. Then every 25% of the meeting, you can check in with them to make sure that you are on track to the purpose of the great meeting for them. This is both a process and a setting for you and for the other person. It shows you listened before the meeting started, at the beginning of the meeting, and all the way throughout, to the purpose of the meeting, not just for you but for them as well. Although this might sound really simple to do, it will require you to develop an orientation about the what and the how of the meeting, the content as well as the process. This will move your attention away from yourself and them towards a third position. The third position, that's the announced outcome of the meeting. What would make this a great meeting? Keep practising this during intimate meetings, at least for 10 meetings, until it feels like it's second nature for you and for the perspective of your attention. By the way, if you are a participant in a meeting rather than the host, and if your host isn't clear about the purpose of the meeting or the process about decision making or prioritization in the meeting, take a moment yourself as a participant in the first 5% of the allocated time and ask the host, What would make this a great meeting? This will get them to pause and you, without the formal title of the host, can ensure every 25% of the meeting that it stays on track. By the way, our deep listening research, it highlights that when a host or a participant asks this question, what will make this a great meeting, only 28% of participants ask the host the same question. So about a third of participants will ask the host the exact opposite question. The other part of the research that's important is when you are asked this question, either before the meeting or at the beginning of the meeting, and you check every 25% of the meeting, respondents said, meetings are completed in less than the originally scheduled time. Isn't that a wonderful thing to get some time back in your day? Next, if you're slightly more experienced as a meeting host, possibly you are someone who regularly hosts a team meeting, a project meeting, a work in progress meeting, some kind of interactive meeting where there's three to 20 people present, move your orientation from, how do I get the participants to listen to the active speaker to how do I get the participants to listen to each other? As Jeff mentioned earlier on, humans have very short attention spans and they get distracted very easily. On a video conference, you can listen continuously for 12 seconds. And equally, participants can maintain continuous attention on a topic, on a context, for between eight and 10 minutes. If you're discussing a topic, you can hold someone's attention in that range eight to 10 minutes. As the host, how can you change the context or the format of the meeting every 10 minutes? And this is something Jeff mentioned earlier on in his feedback that he noticed that I did that during the Deep Listening Ambassador community meeting. This has got to do with more than having multiple speakers presenting. This has got more to do than just changing the active speaker. It's got to do with moving the mindset of the participants from listening to the active speaker to listen to each other. Here are the three tips I'd recommend for you to help to change the perspective, the attention of the participants, to ensure that they're not only listening to the speaker, but they're also listening to other participants. Number one, use the reaction buttons in Zoom. Number two, use the chat. And number three, look at the polls. A lot of people say they lose body language and other nonverbal signals, which makes listening harder. One way around this is to ask for nonverbal feedback via the reaction buttons. It helps you to listen to the energy while the rest of the group can notice the energy of their fellow participants as well. The reaction buttons, there's a vast range of them. There's not only thumbs up and thumbs down and various other signals. There's a range of emoticons that people can use there. Don't underestimate the power of that to communicate the level and energy of the group. Next, let's talk about the chat. Use the chat to discuss what and how when you're having a discussion. Questions you might like to pose include, who else do we need to consider? where would you like to focus the remaining time? wow should we decide? Whenever you're asking these questions, keep them as short as possible. Less than eight words makes the question neutral. And that's not to say that a neutral question is good or bad. It may be appropriate in the situation. I see a lot of time working with my clients, they have convoluted questions that not only confuses the audience, it requires clarification. Non-biased questions, typically less than eight words. You can also use chat to explore metaphorical or emotional ideas. You could ask people, what colour does this feel like? what drink does this feel like? what food does it feel like? what book does it feel like? what movie is it like? They can describe abstract topics that you've just covered off where the group isn't clear on an outcome because the idea's evolving. Simply asking, what colour is it now, compared to what colour is it at the end of an agenda item, you might notice that the colour changes or it remains the same. It doesn't matter. It's just a signal to nonverbal feedback. Whether you use chat or reactions, this requires limited to little preparation for you as a host. Poll slides, they require a little bit more planning or a little bit more effort to create. When you use poll slides, use that when making decisions or creating priority. Some example questions that can help focus the participant is, what's your number one priority? how should we allocate these resources? which group requires the most support? Again, in terms of building and sustaining this listening orientation, focus first on increasing your consistency and effectiveness with reaction buttons, then move up to chat, and then finally, you can explore the polls. At this intermediate level, all the techniques are helping you as the host to listen, and all these tips are transparent for each participant. They'll be able to notice not only you as the host and how you are listening, but they'll be able to listen to where the rest of the group is, where the other participants are in the workshop, in the meeting, or the video conference. This last group of techniques is for experienced Zoom hosts. Are you hosting more than 80% of the meetings that you attend? Then I'd call you an advanced Zoom host. These techniques are designed to listen to the audience before a broadcast meeting. It will help you adjust content accordingly, and it will help you to display to the audience that you've listened to them. Whenever you are speaking to an audience of 50 or more people in broadcast mode, you can use these powerful techniques to change the listening dynamic for you and the participants. A lot of my clients are surprised how much listening you can do beforehand. That has a massive impact on the engagement during a broadcast meeting. If you are doing a broadcast meeting, I would recommend utilizing the registration features, either in Zoom meetings or Zoom webinars. Each product allows you to pose questions for the participants on registration. These questions could include, what's one thing you'd like to improve? what's one thing you'd like to ask the presenter? what's one thing you would like to learn? All these questions are deliberately designed to be open ended. Equally, they're designed to be easily collected, collated, sorted, and displayed to the audience in an anonymous way in the first 10% of the broadcast. It shows to the audience you heard and you listened to them. Displaying the anonymized results increases audience engagement at the start of a presentation as they search for self-interest. They're looking for their responses in your presentation. Equally, it not only helps them selfishly to find themselves in the content, it also helps them understand where the rest of the audience is. Break down these responses into easy to digest components. It may be basic, intermediate, advanced. It may be before, during, and after. It may be small, medium, large. It may be inexperienced, experienced, and master. When you break down the responses and provide signposts while you answer them throughout the presentation, it automatically signals to the group, ah, they're listening to me. When you answer the questions throughout your presentation, make sure your signpost that you are answering some of the really common questions the group asked during registration processes. This technique creates a completely different level of engagement and experience for the audience. It makes it memorable. Meeting hosts are often shocked how much engagement this simple technique drives when you present their own content back to them. There you have it. Whether you're a beginner, intermediate, or advanced, the 105 page Ultimate Guide to Listening in a Zoom Conference is full of techniques like this for you. Whether you're a host or a participant, as Lena mentioned earlier on, you'll get enormous value out of the guide. To find out more information, visit www.oscartrimboli.com/videoconference. I'm Oscar Trimboli and along with the Deep Listening Ambassador community, we're on a quest to create 100 million deep listeners in the world, one conversation at a time. And you've given us the greatest gift of all. You've listened to us. Thanks for listening.
10/13/22 • 24:28
The Ultimate Guide for Listening on a Video Conference – Host Edition Being a Meeting Host is a unique responsibility. You are expected to create an environment where every participant is engaged and contributing throughout the Video Conference. As the Host, you are accountable for maximizing the impact of participants, the agenda, and the meeting outcome while juggling with limited connectivity, fragmented attention spans, and participants who might be holding back what they think because of the meeting format. If your video meetings are disjointed disengaged full of debate, with limited decisions and action repetitive run over time Over 100 pages, the guide provides specific tips and techniques The Ultimate Guide to Listening in a Video Conference is a comprehensive outline for three meeting formats 2 to 3 people – intimate meetings 3 to 10 people – interactive meetings 20 + people – broadcast meetings before, during and after the meeting Topics include The science of listening and video conferencing including the 5 elements of video fatigue. The opportunity created by video conferencing The Five Levels of Listening in a video environment How to effectively navigate the three dimensions of video conference listening – the host, participants and the outcome Techniques to reset the attention of the participants including proven tips and techniques for maintaining the energy, and decision making capacity of the participants. https://www.oscartrimboli.com/product/the-ultimate-guide-to-listening-in-a-video-conference/?EP101
8/25/22 • 81:43
G'day, It's Oscar Trimboli I've set myself a little challenge and I was wondering if you might be able to assist. Over the time I've been working with people around their listening, whether it's the deep listening quiz, the 90 day challenge, our webinars, our workshops, people who've bought the book or the playing cards or people who are interacting with our deep listening online masterclass for managers - questions, keep coming up about listening. I've realized that by writing down all these questions over time, I'm well over a thousand questions. Now don't worry., they fall into themes and I've set myself a challenge to answer these questions between now and the end of the year. I'll be posting regularly here with my reply, to the questions that people are asking. These questions come in the context of one on one conversations, , around group conversations, how to have effective listening face to faces. , as well as how to do it on video conferencing. There's also a number of questions that come about, not just which levels are people listening at. How do you listen through the context of different cultures? How do you listen through the context of conflict? How do you listen through the lens of complexity? How do you listen to it through the lens of collaboration? When people say to me, Oscar, , this listening is, very specialized. I've come to realize this impacts people across many professions, whether that's sales, whether that's technology, whether that's human resources, whether that's manufacturing, whether that's engineering, whether that's leading an organization. Listening has a pretty big impact on all of those. So here's how you can help with this challenge. If you've got a question about listening. Just put it in an email podcast@oscartrimboli.com that's podcast@oscartrimboli.com and. I might even come back and clarify that with you, but I will definitely answer it. How to listen in meetings for actions. This question comes from Sophie and she says, Oscar, what I struggle with the most when it comes to listening is turning what I hear into appropriate actions. Well, thanks Sophie. Three things for you to consider is 1 who takes the notes in the meeting. 2., how do you define what was actually agreed? 3, what would be different, if the agreed action was actually taken Now Sophie,, I sense you might be asking the question in the context of a group meeting, in a group meeting, gained the agreement from the host. if you're not the host at the very beginning of the meeting. Who's taking the notes. If you are the host, then explain to the group how actions will be captured during the meeting. It's really critical for this process to be exposed right at the beginning of the conversation. Now, by the way, Sophie, if you're in a discussion with just one other person, just agree with them as part of the dialog, who's going to take that action. Now in a group meeting, the second element of actions is to confirm what was actually agreed. This is the biggest misstep I see people taking. And as a result, it's a common area where when you come back, on the follow up for this meeting, a lot of people are confused because they delivered what they thought they heard rather than what the group agreed to. So when it comes to agreeing to the action, when it's delegated to the person responsible in the meeting. And by the way, you can only delegate to the person in the meeting. You can't delegate an action to someone outside the meeting. You can delegate it to somebody else or explain it to the person outside the meeting, but again, a critical thing when it comes to group actions is you can only delegate it to the person who was listening to the context. Now you need to ask the person that's delegated to, to verbally confirm what they're agreeing to not by saying yes or no, I agree to that, but to confirm what they actually heard and to confirm the specific action they're going to take now, when this happens, it surfaces any misunderstanding really, really quickly. It does so in the moment, rather than after the fact when it's way too late and there's wasted effort on everybody's part., Finally, we're appropriate ask what would be different as a result of taking this action, particularly in a group meeting, this helps people to understand the value of what they've decided and helps the group to prioritize its important. So Sophie, thanks for the question, and a quick reminder, remember who is taking the action in a group meeting ensure during the meeting, what is agreed is verbalized, and then finally, what will be different as a result of taking this action? If you are like Sophie and got a question about workplace listening, just put it in an email podcast@oscartrimboli.com that's podcast@oscartrimboli.com . I'm Oscar Trimboli and along with the Deep Listening Ambassadors, we're on a quest to create a hundred million deep listeners in the world. And you've given us the greatest gift of all. You've listened to us. Thanks for listening.
7/6/22 • 06:10
Today is going to be a little different - some adjustments. In Episode 100 - you'll get to deconstruct how I listen to the guests. I've interviewed over the past 100 episodes. If time allows after the interview has formally concluded, I have a simple and consistent habit where I ask the guests, just one question - What did you notice about my listening? Now, this is a Level Four listening technique. It's designed as a way for me to make incremental improvements in each conversation. When I hear what people notice in the way I listen, I am making some very simple notes in my mind, that's a very important listening signal, make sure I continue to do it the next time. Occasionally people will highlight things that surprise me. They highlight things that wow, I didn't realize that was a listening signal for the person speaking. It's critical to understand that when you listen deeply, gently, thoroughly, carefully, you will change the way the speaker communicates. Not just what they say, not just what they think, but also what they make of the conversation, what it means for them. What can you expect today? You'll hear reflections of 11 people and their perspectives on how I was listening to them. You'll notice some very, very consistent themes. And yet you'll notice some subtle variations as well. You'll hear from six females, five males from deaf and blind people you'll hear from people whose first language is English and you'll hear from people whose home language isn't English. You'll hear from authors, musicians, professors, former military leaders, researchers, psychotherapists, and a range of many others. As you listen to them, deconstruct my listening, please keep these points in mind. This is just the way I listen. My listening context is very specific. Listening is situational. It's relational and contextual. The way I listen during an interview is with a listening orientation for the audience, for you. There are many questions I would love to ask the people that I interview yet, they're only appropriate for me. They're not going to help you and I play with this duality while I'm listening. How do I stay in the moment long enough - not to listen, but to listen on behalf of you. In chapter one of the upcoming book - how to listen and at the end of every chapter in the book, we have a series of three invitations, they're practices that we invite the reader or the audiobook listener to explore, we invite them to explore something to practice because we recommend that you read the book one chapter per week while practicing a technique during that week. So at the end of chapter one, we pose these three invitations and. Who's the best listener, you know, and what's one thing they do well? When was the last time somebody fully and deeply listened to you? and what did they do well during that conversation? When you think about that conversation where you were deeply listen to, how did you think speak and feel differently as a result? I'm delighted to be engaging with a range of the Deep Listening Ambassador community as they provide Advanced Reader Copy feedback on this and Bailey was kind enough to send me a photo of the exercise that I just mentioned from chapter one of the book where she very thoughtfully, thoroughly and deeply considered those three invitations, and came to some interesting insights, all of her own. It gives me a lot of joy to be celebrating episode 100 with you and I want to thank you Listen for free
6/24/22 • 44:12
