Show cover of Husband Material

Husband Material

So you want to outgrow porn. But how? How do you change your brain, heal your heart, and save your relationship? Welcome to Husband Material with Drew Boa, where we answer all these questions and more! Each episode will make it easier for you to achieve lasting freedom from porn—without fighting an exhausting battle. Porn is a pacifier. This podcast will help you outgrow it and become a sexually mature man of God.

Tracks

How Childhood Experiences Shape Sexual Development (with Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt)
What's the point of processing childhood experiences? In this special episode recorded live at the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit, Drew, Doug, Eddie, and Matt share insights and stories about how processing childhood experiences can help you outgrow porn.Drew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.comDr. Doug Carpenter is a clinical psychologist and the co-owner of Insight Counseling Services in Rochester, Michigan. He's the author of "Childhood Trauma and the Non-Alpha Male."Eddie Capparucci is a Christian therapist who specializes in the treatment of sexual and pornography addiction. He's the creator of the Inner Child Recovery Process (ICRP) and the author of "Going Deeper: How The Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction."Matt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues and their impact on faith. The program uses the TINSA treatment model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) to heal the traumatic experiences and attachment wounds driving addictive behaviors and problematic thinking around sex and intimacy.You can also watch the video version here: www.husbandmaterial.comTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
30:08 5/27/24
Why We Sexualize Emotions And How To Desexualize Them
Why do we sexualize emotions, and how can we desexualize them? In this episode, I explain what it looks like to "right-size" sexual energy through processing emotions and releasing trauma.Free tools to process emotions:Feelings And Needs WheelFeelings And Needs InventoryReady to release some trauma?Come to the Husband Material Retreat in Colorado on September 6-10, 2024. Save $100 when you sign up before June 8 at husbandmaterial.com/retreat"Before the retreat, I was plagued with an overwhelming sense of sadness that I could ignore for a while but never escape. During the retreat, I was able to access my suppressed, righteous anger, experience it, and direct it for good." —ScottTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
26:37 5/20/24
Overcoming Sexual Entitlement (with Noah Filipiak)
What happens when you feel entitled to sex and treat your wife like a replacement for porn? In this episode, Noah Filipiak tells his story of overcoming sexual entitlement and objectification. Along the way, he unpacks the false promises of purity culture, what love really looks like, how God's grace changes us, and the power of gratitude. Noah Filipiak is a pastor, author, and the host of The Flip Side Podcast. He also blogs at noahfilipiak.com. Noah and his wife Jen have three daughters. He is on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram @noahfilipiak. Buy Noah's book (this is a paid link):Beyond the Battle: A Man’s Guide To His Identity In Christ In An Oversexualized WorldNeeded Navigation: A Teen’s Guide to His or Her Identity in Christ in a Sex & Porn-Filled WorldJoin a 7-week online group with Noah to experience how to overcome pornography, lust, and fantasy. After the 7 weeks, alumni get to join the free Beyond the Battle alumni community filled with ongoing support and encouragement. Sign up at www.beyondthebattle.net.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
39:46 5/13/24
Hope And Healing For Sexless Marriage (with Adam and Karissa King)
What is the definition of sexless marriage? Why do couples experience this? Sexless marriage is often a symptom of deeper psychosomatic issues. Adam and Karissa teach practical tools to build a sexful marriage through vulnerability, intimacy, and safe touch. This episode can also help couples for whom intercourse is painful or not possible. Adam and Karissa King are a licensed coach/therapist team and the founders of Dear Young Married Couple, where they help couples become intimately connected, get adventurous, and find purpose. Free download: 5 Steps When Trust Has Been BrokenFree download: Because, Because, BecauseCheck out Adam and Karissa's EROS Conference: dearyoungmarriedcouple.com/eros My wife and I attended and it was exactly what we needed!Buy Adam and Karissa's Card Decks For Couples (these are paid links):FOUNDATIONS - Questions And Tips To Become More ConnectedREALIZATIONS - See How Well You Know Your Significant OtherSEXPECTATIONS - Talk Openly About Sex Without Having SexTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
40:45 5/6/24
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Respond To A Story (Part 4)
How do you respond to someone else's story with curiosity and compassion? In part 4 of this 4 part series, Marcus Spaur shares his story: "If I Only Could Have Been..."If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/groupDrew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.comWendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.comMarcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.comChris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.comResources for responding to someone else's story:Attunement: The Key To ConnectionHow To Create Connection In Any ConversationTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
63:04 4/29/24
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: How To Write A Story (Part 3)
How do you write a story about your trauma and sexual experiences? In part 3 of this 4-part series, Wendell Moss shares his story: "Sex & Sexuality"If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/groupDrew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.comWendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.comMarcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.comChris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.comResources For Story Writing (including paid links):Story Writing Resources, by Adam Young (free PDF documents)Expressive Writing: Words That Heal, by Dr. James Pennebaker and Dr. John Evans (book)Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
42:22 4/22/24
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: Why We Do Story Work (Part 2)
Why is story work absolutely essential for men outgrowing porn? In part 2 of this 4 part series, Chris Inman shares his story: "The Lonely Walk."If you love story work, you'd love Husband Material Groups.Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/groupDrew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.comWendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.comMarcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.comChris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.comTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
33:36 4/15/24
Story Work For Men Outgrowing Porn: What Is Story Work? (Part 1)
What is story work? Where did it come from? What does it look like? In part 1 of this 4-part series, Drew shares his story: "The Day I Got Braces."If you love this series, you'd love Husband Material Groups.Apply to join a group at husbandmaterial.com/groupDrew Boa (MA, PSAP) a Certified Unwanted Guide and Inner Child Recovery Specialist. Drew is the founder of Husband Material, where he helps men outgrow porn. Learn more at husbandmaterial.comWendell Moss (MA, LMHC) is a therapist, lead instructor, and facilitator at The Allender Center. Wendell serves as adjunct faculty at The Seattle School Of Theology & Psychology. Email Wendell at bishopmoss@gmail.comMarcus Spaur is a Certified Husband Material Coach, Inner Child Recovery Specialist, and CCAR Coach. Marcus is the founder of Between The Covers Coaching. Learn more at betweenthecoverscoaching.comChris Inman (M.Div, PSAP) is a Certified Unwanted Guide and Certified Professional Recovery Coach. Chris is the founder of Porn-Free Masculinity. Email Chris at chris@np-recovery.comResources for Story Work:The Allender Center and Allender Theory (organization, podcast, courses)Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way To Healing, by Jay Stringer (book)Redeeming Heartache, with Cathy Loerzel (video)The Place We Find Ourselves, by Adam Young (podcast)The ReStory Course, by Restory Counseling (video course)Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
40:59 4/8/24
Porn and Inner Healing Prayer
What is inner healing prayer, and how can it help men outgrow porn?This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.comResources for Inner Healing Prayer:Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inner Healing Movement, by Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson (book & paid link)Introduction To Healing Prayer, with Leslie Weinzettel (podcast)Experience Healing Through The Immanuel Approach (podcast)Transformation Prayer Ministry (book & organization)Listening To Immanuel (PDF worksheet for journaling)Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
21:23 4/1/24
Porn and Polyvagal Theory (with John Kilmer)
What is Polyvagal Theory? How can it help men outgrow porn? John Kilmer skillfully describes the autonomic nervous system and how to (re)shape it in order to experience regulation without unwanted sexual behavior. John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. John has completed the Foundations of Polyvagal Informed Practice Clinical Training Series with Deb Dana. He's a grateful follower of Jesus who is passionate about men's inner healing work. Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.This episode is a preview of our new online course, "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.comBooks on Polyvagal Theory (these are paid links):Anchored, by Deb DanaPolyvagal Theory in Therapy, by Deb DanaThe Pocket Guide To The Polyvagal Theory, by Dr. Stephen PorgesTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
23:56 3/25/24
What Is God Doing In My Trauma? (with Matt Wenger)
We need a theology of trauma. In this episode, Matt Wenger powerfully invites us to view our trauma through the lens of Jesus's life, death, and resurrection. This episode is a preview of our new online course at healyourtrauma.comMatt Wenger is the clinical director of Boulder Recovery, a 14-day intensive for Christian men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues. Boulder Recovery uses the TINSA treatment model (Trauma-Induced Sexual Addiction) to heal the traumatic experiences and attachment wounds driving addictive behaviors and problematic thinking around sex and intimacy.EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT: Today, Matt Wenger and Drew Boa are releasing a new free online course called "10 Ways To Heal Your Trauma: Resolving The Roots Of Porn And Sex Addiction." Get free access at healyourtrauma.comTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
20:56 3/18/24
How To Create Connection In Any Conversation (LIVE)
Do you long for connection, but it feels impossible? In this episode, you'll learn extremely simple tools and techniques to create connection in any conversation—using your eyes, face, voice, and words.Helpful phrases:Tell me more…What’s it like for you...How does that affect you?That makes sense (because)...It sounds like / I hear you saying…It seems like something shifted…That stood out to me…Resources mentioned (including paid links):Attunement: The Key To Connection, podcast by Drew BoaThe Polyvagal Theory in Therapy, book by Deb DanaMan Cards: Conversation Starters For MenDear Young Married Couple Card DecksTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
37:19 3/11/24
Why Men Don't Talk About Their Sexual Abuse (with Mike Chapman and Dr. Doug Carpenter)
There are over 40 reasons why men don't talk about their sexual abuse. Let's break the silence. In this episode hosted by Mike Chapman and Doug Carpenter, survivors of sexual abuse share vulnerable stories of harm and healing. Mike Chapman is a Certified Husband Material Coach and the leader of the HM fellowship for survivors of sexual abuse. Contact Mike at polarlifeconsulting.com/contactCheck out Mike's new podcast: Healing For Male SurvivorsListen on AppleListen on SpotifyDr. Doug Carpenter is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Certified Husband Material Coach, and the author of Secret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual Development. Learn more at douglascarpenter.comHusband Material episodes about sexual abuse:Was I Sexually Abused? (with Dr. Doug Carpenter)Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual Desire (with Dr. Doug Carpenter)Healing From Sexual Abuse, Part 1 (with Mike Chapman)Healing From Sexual Abuse, Part 2 (with Mike Chapman)Porn As Re-Enactment Of Sexual Abuse (with Wendell Moss)Rags To Riches To Ruin To Redemption (with Dr. Joe Martin)Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse (with Dr. Doug Carpenter and Mike Chapman)Resources mentioned (including paid links):1in6.org - helpful websiteMenHealing.org - helpful websiteMaleSurvivor.org - helpful websiteSecret Shame: A Survivor's Guide To Understanding Male Sexual Abuse And Male Sexual Development - book by Dr. Doug CarpenterBent On Men: A Memoir On Taboo Feelings, Fraternal Curiosity, And Faith - book by Harrison BlyUnchained Memories: True Stories Of Traumatic Memories Lost And Found - book by Lenore TerrScouts Honor - documentaryTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
103:23 3/4/24
How To Tell Her About The Porn: Full Disclosure (with Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill)
What is full disclosure? When, why, and how should I reveal sexual secrets to my wife? In this episode, disclosure experts Dan Drake and Janice Caudill walk us through the process of full therapeutic disclosure from beginning to end. You'll learn how to restore truth in your relationship in a way that is healing rather than harmful.Dan Drake and Dr. Janice Caudill co-founded Kintsugi Recovery Partners and co-authored 5 books in the Full Disclosure Series. They developed the first full disclosure training and certification course, and they provide the highest level of support for professionals using their Restoring Truth Model. Learn more at kintsugirecoverypartners.comDan Drake is the Founder and Clinical Director of Banyan Therapy Group in Los Angeles, California. He is a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist Supervisor and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Supervisor. Dan is a Christian, a husband, and a father.Dr. Janice Caudill is an APSATS supervisor, CSAT supervisor, Certified Partner Trauma Therapist supervisor, Certified Partner Betrayal Trauma Therapist, Certified Intimacy Anorexia Therapist, and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. She is the Founder of Intensive Recovery Healing and Intensive Recovery Coaching. Learn more at intensivehope.comBuy Dan and Janice's books! (these are paid links)For you (the blue books):Full Disclosure: How To Share The Truth After Sexual BetrayalYour Disclosure Document: A 10-Step GuideFor your partner (the green books):Full Disclosure: How Disclosure Can Help You Heal (part 1)Full Disclosure: Preparing For Disclosure On Your Terms (part 2)Full Disclosure: Post Disclosure Healing (part 3)Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
42:21 2/26/24
Healthy Fantasy vs. Unhealthy Fantasy
Your imagination is not bad. Learn the 4 main types of fantasies, how to evaluate the healthiness of a fantasy, and what to do with your healthy/unhealthy fantasies!Related episodes:Sexual Arousal vs. Sexual DesireHow To Interpret Sexual FantasiesHow To Analyze A Sexual FantasyIntroduction To Sexual SymbolismHow My Sexual Fetish Shifted Over TimeTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
15:14 2/19/24
A Grace-Based Approach To Sexual Recovery (with Jonathan Daugherty)
What is grace, and how does it apply to sexual recovery? Jonathan Daugherty inspiringly explains how grace is not "soft" but the most powerful force for transformation and freedom from porn. Pride, shame, and comparison all melt away under the core truth that you are worth the life of God's son, and that can never change. Jonathan Daugherty is the founder and president of Be Broken, and founder of the Gateway to Freedom 3-day workshop for men. He also hosts the weekly radio program, Pure Sex Radio. Jonathan lives with his wife and family in San Antonio, Texas.​Buy Jonathan's books (these are paid links):Grace-Based Recovery: A Safe Place to Heal and GrowGrace-Based Transformation: The 3-Stage Journey to Wholeness in ChristSecrets: A True Story of Addiction, Infidelity and Second ChancesMeet Jonathan, Drew, and other sexual integrity leaders at the 2024 Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit in Colorado Springs, CO!Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
39:31 2/12/24
Singleness & Same-Sex Attraction (with Dr. Greg Coles)
If you're single and you experience same-sex attraction, this episode is for you. Dr. Greg Coles offers insight, humor, delight, and hope that defies typical Christian categories of what a "good and beautiful life" can look like.Greg Coles is an author, speaker, and scholar at the Center for Faith, Sexuality, and Gender. Check out Greg's books (these are paid links):Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey Of Faith And Sexual IdentityNo Longer Strangers: Finding Belonging In A World Of AlienationThe Limits Of My World: a novelTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
36:25 2/5/24
Outgrowing Porn vs. Purity Culture
What is the difference between outgrowing porn and purity culture? In this replay from The Porn Free Man Conference, you'll experience dramatic examples of what these two approaches look like, sound like, and feel like when you are...Reaching out to a friend after watching porn (failure vs. feedback)Sharing vulnerable parts of your story (harsh and critical vs. gentle and kind)Checking in with your small group (lots of accountability vs. lots of attunement)Feeling the urge to watch porn (battle our sexuality vs. befriend our sexuality)Being sexually attracted to someone (fear and shame vs. curiosity and compassion)Celebrating 6 months without porn (behavior modification vs. becoming mature)Drew Boa, Doug Carpenter, Henry Brown, and Jordan Castille are all members of the Husband Material Leadership Team.Related episodes:How To Outgrow Porn (Intro To HMA)Experience Healing Through PsychodramaHow To Reframe A Porn RelapseTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
79:55 1/29/24
Outgrowing Porn Through Parts Work (with Dr. Gerry Crete)
How can parts work help us outgrow porn? Dr. Gerry Crete combines Christian faith, internal family systems, attachment theory, and EMDR into a powerful approach to outgrowing porn. Learn why we need to work with parts pre-emptively, how to "break the spell" when you're in a trance state, and practical ways Jesus can meet our attachment needs.Dr. Gerry Crete is a marriage and family therapist and professional counselor who specializes in the treatment of trauma, addictions, and anxiety disorders. He is a former president of the Catholic Psychotherapy Association, founder of Transfiguration Counseling, and co-founder of Souls and Hearts. Dr. Gerry has long been passionate about integrating principles of the Christian faith with effective mental health treatment. Buy Gerry's new book (this is a paid link):Litanies of the Heart: Relieving Post-Traumatic Stress and Calming Anxiety Through Healing Our PartsTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
47:59 1/22/24
What To Do When Your Wife Is Triggered (with Tammy Gustafson)
How can a husband help his wife during a trigger? Tammy Gustafson reveals what triggers are, how they affect your wife's brain, and what she needs after a trigger tornado has passed. Discover how her triggers can become opportunities for healing!Tammy Gustafson is a trauma-informed Licensed Professional Counselor, coach, EMDR certified clinician, and speaker with 15 years of experience. She is the founder of Betrayal Healing and host of the Betrayal Healing Conference. She is passionate about helping women find their strength and pick up the pieces of their broken hearts after sexual betrayal, so they are able to see beauty, joy, and adventure again.Join me at Tammy's Betrayal Healing Conference from January 22-26, 2024!NOTE: This description contains an affiliate link.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
39:46 1/15/24
Healing Through Artwork and Storywork (with Philip Leach and John Kilmer)
What happens when you combine storywork, artwork, and Jesus? Witness powerful healing in this live demonstration of HMA Coaching! As Drew shares a story of difficulty, chalk artisan Philip Leach creates a visual representation while coach John Kilmer offers attunement. Then we invite Jesus into the story and watch the chalk art change. The result is jaw-droppingly beautiful and incredibly meaningful.Watch the video of this episode here:husbandmaterial.com/blog/healing-through-artwork-and-storywork-with-philip-leach-and-john-kilmerPhilip Leach is a worshipper and friend of Jesus who enjoys expressing creativity and building joyful connection through snow sculpting, Immanuel Doodling, deliberate appreciation, and facilitating times of quiet listening and art. His journey has included lots of hand-painted pottery as well as two decades of presenting “chalk talks”. His primary passion is joining other men in breaking free from anything that’s keeping us from enjoying life, and then practicing skills to move forward powered by Joy.John Kilmer is a Mental Health Life Coach, Occupational Therapist, and Certified Husband Material Coach. He's a grateful follower of Jesus Christ who is passionate about men's inner healing work. Learn more about John at relaxedcaregiver.com.This type of experience is now being offered every week inside Husband Material Academy (HMA). The doors to HMA are currently open! Join now before the doors close on January 14 at joinHMA.comTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
58:37 1/8/24
12 Reasons To Stop Shaming Yourself
Learn 12 reasons why shaming yourself doesn't help, what's more powerful than shame, and what you can do instead of shaming yourself.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
20:59 1/1/24
How To Help Your Partner Heal (with Carol Sheets)
How can I help my partner heal from the impact of my porn and sex addiction? Psychotherapist and author Carol Sheets reveals what sexually betrayed partners need most, and how you can "help her heal" when you create safety, practice empathy, offer validation, and take ownership without going into shame. This episode is super practical and full of great ideas!Carol Juergensen Sheets (LCSW, CSAT) also known as "Carol The Coach" is the author of many books and workbooks about sex addiction and partner betrayal. She is also the creator of ERCEM: Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model.Carol is also a guest speaker at The Porn Free Man Online Conference on January 5-6, 2024! Join us at thepornfreeman.comBooks and workbooks featuring Carol Sheets (these are paid links):Help Her Heal: An Empathy Workbook For Sex Addicts To Help Their Partners HealHelp Them Heal: Teaching You Both How To Heal Your Relationship After Sexual BetrayalUnleashing Your Power: Moving Through the Trauma of Partner BetrayalLearn more about Carol at sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.comTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
35:55 12/25/23
Blessing vs. Cursing Yourself & The Story Behind Your Porn (with Chris Bruno)
How do you shift from self-condemnation to self-compassion? Chris Bruno reveals how to discover the story behind your struggle with porn. You'll learn what it looks like to rediscover your true "masterpiece-ness" even in the throes of a porn relapse. Our deepest healing lies in turning to the God who knows and created us in His image.Chris Bruno leads Restoration Project and ReStory Counseling, where he helps people come alive. He is a licensed professional counselor who has decades of experience helping men recover their hearts.Chris is also a guest speaker at The Porn Free Man 2024 Online Conference on January 5-6, 2024! Learn more at thepornfreeman.comCheck out Chris' online courses at ReStory LabsTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
30:42 12/18/23
How To Analyze A Sexual Fantasy (with Dr. Doug Carpenter)
What can sexual fantasies teach us? How should we analyze them? In this episode, Drew and Doug vulnerably share and analyze each other's sexual fantasies so you can understand what this work practically looks like and how to do it well.The best place to start is Husband Material Academy, which opens up on January 1.Learn more at joinHMA.comTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
60:18 12/11/23
Introduction To Sexual Symbolism
What desires are commonly symbolized by the penis, breasts, kissing, oral sex, nudity, diapers, and feet? Find out in this short and sweet introduction!Related episodes:Theology Of The PenisUnwanted Sexual AttractionSexual Arousal vs. Sexual DesireHow To Interpret Sexual FantasiesWhat Should I Do With My Sexual Desires?Here is the video I mentioned: Trauma and Sexual Fetish | Where Do Fetishes Come From?Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
16:19 12/4/23
Experience Healing Through The Immanuel Approach (with Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson)
What is the Immanuel Approach? How can it help Christian men outgrow porn? Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson unpack this amazing way to change your brain and heal your heart through connecting with Jesus experientially. You'll also hear a refreshing reminder of how Jesus relates to you with unconditional love, even in your deepest shame.Cathy Little and Melinda Wilson are the founders of Face To Face Ministries. They are passionate heart healers who have dedicated their lives to activating and equipping men and women with tools backed by brain science to accelerate personal breakthroughs through connecting with Jesus using the Immanuel Approach.Check out Cathy and Melinda's podcast here.Immanuel Sessions are designed to help you connect with Jesus, receive healing from emotional wounds and trauma, and uncover lies that keep you from living out the truth of who you are in Christ. There is no agenda other than to help you connect with Jesus and allow Him to lead you into greater healing, freedom, and wholeness.Schedule an an Immanuel Session with Face To Face Ministries here.Books mentioned in this episode (these are paid links):Streams of Healing: Finding Your Way to Wholeness with Key Leaders in the Inner Healing Movement, by Cathy Little and Melinda WilsonThe Immanuel Approach For Emotional Healing & For Life, by Dr. Karl Lehman (free draft version)The Immanuel Approach For Emotional Healing & For Life, by Dr. Karl Lehman (published paperback version)Joyful Journey: Listening To Immanuel, by Dr. James Wilder, Anna Kang, John Loppnow, and Sungshim LoppnowAttached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love, by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel HellerTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
48:14 11/27/23
Can Medication Help Me Outgrow Porn? (with Adam O'Neill)
What if certain kinds of medication can make it easier to outgrow porn? Adam O'Neill unpacks the benefits and drawbacks of supplementing your sexual recovery with medication such as naltrexone. You'll get wisdom about what to expect and how to decide what's right for you. Adam also addresses common objections and concerns about receiving psychiatric assistance with compassion and clarity from a Christ-centered perspective.Here are the case reports Adam mentioned about naltrexone:Internet sex addiction treated with naltrexone - Mayo ClinicNaltrexone in cases of compulsive sexual behaviors - Psychiatrist.comNaltrexone in the treatment of adolescent sexual offenders - National Library of MedicineTreatment Of Compulsive Pornography Use With Naltrexone: A Case Report - American Journal Of PsychiatryCompulsive Sexual Behavior and Alcohol Use Disorder Treated With Naltrexone: A Case Report and Literature ReviewInterested in learning more? Bring your questions to our Live Q&A with Adam O'Neill on Tuesday, November 28th @ 7 PM Eastern Time inside the Husband Material Community.Adam O'Neill is a Certified Physician Assistant who practices Christian Psychiatry in Virginia, where he is licensed to prescribe medications. Adam graduated from Thomas Jefferson University with a Masters of Physician Assistant Studies in 2019. Prior to that, he attended Wheaton College in Illinois, where he earned his Bachelors in Psychology. Learn more about Adam O'Neill & Associates at aoavirginia.comBuy Adam's book (this is a paid link):The Mind After Eden: Psychiatry in a Post-Fall WorldTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
32:05 11/20/23
What Is A Pornographic Approach To Recovery?
How has porn impacted your approach to recovery? Learn 7 pornographic styles of recovery and what healthy recovery looks like instead.Pornographic recovery is:isolatedescapistavoiding painimpatientpassive/consumingcold and harsh.Healthy recovery is:relationalembodiedembracing painresilientproactive/creativewarm and kindThe idea of "a pornographic style of recovery" is based on Andrew Bauman's concept of "a pornographic style of relating" (PSR) as described here:A Pornographic Style Of Relating (article)The Psychology of Porn (book & paid link)Other Husband Material episodes mentioned:Long Distance FriendshipHow To Heal Your Inner ChildHow To Measure Freedom From PornHow To Outgrow PornTake the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
33:10 11/13/23
Helping Men Feel Safe To Open Up And Heal From Trauma (with Dr. James Reeves)
What helps men feel safe to open up and heal from trauma? Dr. James Reeves (the pirate pastor) tells the story of facing his childhood wounds, building a hospital church, and creating the Fearless Series—which is fantastic!The Fearless Series for Men is designed for Christian men to get the conversation started about childhood sexual, physical, or emotional trauma and how it has affected their lives.Check it out:The Fearless Series For Men: fs4men.comThe Fearless Series For Women: fs4women.comDr. James Reeves has been a pastor for more than 40 years. He nearly resigned, but chose to confront his past, and then used his newfound freedom in Christ to build a "hospital church" based on addressing emotional wounds. James is a regular speaker at conferences across America about how the local church can minister effectively to survivors of sexual trauma.Interested? Email James at Jamesreeves68@gmail.com.Take the Husband Material Journey... Step 1: Listen to this podcast or watch on YouTube Step 2: Join the private Husband Material Community Step 3: Take the free mini-course: How To Outgrow Porn Step 4: Try the all-in-one program: Husband Material Academy Thanks for listening!
25:08 11/6/23