Unfiltered, candid thoughts on pop culture, music, love, spirituality, healing, depression, grief + whatever else comes up. The voice? Multilingual maven of the mic, your favourite dyke's favourite dyke, Yvonne Onakeme Etaghene. Ijaw Urhobo Nigerian dyke poet, author of For Sizakele, performer, dancer, visual artist, bad gyal, fashion designer and creative director of Ankara Queen, cook, goddess and a real one.


Whose Standards Are You Actually Living By?
Do you feel self-conscious about what you truly desire? Whose standards are you living your life by? Your own? Or your friends? Your parents? What's allowed in your space and what's not? Are you chasing your dreams? Or someone else's idea(l) of what your life "should" be? Take a listen, babes. Support the show (
15:07 06/06/2021
Your Energy Is Your Power & Thoughts On Forgiveness
Is forgiveness necessary for your soul's growth and healing?  Some things are unforgivable. You deserve healing regardless of whether you choose to forgive. Energy is food, is power. You feed and empower what you give energy to.  Especially as you heal: why bother to expend energy towards those who hurt you by feeding them with your energy? This episode explores pathways to freedom past pain and into a deep recognition of the power of your own energy. Support the show
28:57 02/14/2021
Prayer Don Expire! & Calling Back Your Energy
Not everyone deserves your prayers. If they don't deserve that prayer, put an expiration date on it and direct that loving energy to someone who deserves it--YOU! Support the show (
15:49 02/06/2021
Are You Your Own Soulmate?
Legendary singer, actress, dancer, Eartha Kitt said: "It's about falling in love with yourself and sharing that with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit." This episode explores this quote and what it means to be a WHOLE human being without needing or relying on another to complete you. Support the show (
19:33 12/23/2020
#SARSMustEndNow | Nigerian Youth Are TIRED | Political Context of SARS
Protests have been ongoing for six days in Nigeria and throughout the world against SARS (the Special Anti-Robbery Squad), a section of the Nigerian police that murder, steal, commit violence against and extort money from Nigerian citizens. #SARSMustEndNow protests have been led by Nigerian youth throughout the country, who are incredibly passionate because, simply put, they have had ENOUGH. In today's episode, I talk about the political context of this moment, the consequences of such violent suppression of the people and more. Support the show (
34:19 10/15/2020
F**k Being Likable. Do YOU Like You?
The idea of "being likable" has been used to suppress women, African women in particular. In this episode, I discuss the invisible impact of colourism, the ways it's often ignored and dismissed. Also: I talk a bit about never taking your own beliefs for granted. Ask yourself what you believe now. Goals change. Don't let yourself get stuck in your vision of who you used to be. Take a listen. Support the show (
35:14 09/18/2020
Everyone needs a code in this world, my love. Exploring loyalty to self, to others, to versions of yourself. My thoughts on LOYALTY as a choice and a gift, rather than compulsory. Take a listen. Support the show
11:35 08/12/2020
FROM BROKEN TO MOSAIC: a spiritual journey & heeding the call of my soul
This is a Special Edition of the podcast! This is the audio from my YouTube channel exploring: What does it mean to embark on a new spiritual journey? To heal from grief, take care of your mental health, be vulnerable *and* listen to your heart? What does it mean to heed the call of your soul when you can't quite decipher the message or the path ahead? For the full visual and audio experience, hop on over to my YouTube channel: the show (
21:04 08/12/2020
BREAKING NEWS! Wait What?!?! Joe Biden Chooses Kamala Harris As Vice Presidential Running Mate
I got a text at 2:01pm from the Joe Biden campaign announcing Kamala Harris, California Senator and former presidential candidate, as his Vice Presidential nominee. I was so shocked by this choice! Take a listen and find out why. Support the show (
39:21 08/11/2020
Celebrating Life ALWAYS No Matter the Circumstance
What exactly is the meaning of a birthday in the midst of a global pandemic? Live and direct, Yvonne celebrates her birthday, talks about divinity, the meaning of life and transforming pain and depression into lessons. Beyond cookie cutter advice on healing, how do you heal? How do you face your wounds? Yvonne comically advises against the uselessness of comparing yourself to other people and discusses the importance of compassion in spiritual spaces as well as in our own personal healing journeys. Support the show (
40:34 05/26/2020
What About African Dykes Tho?!
In conversations about gay tingz, apparently all the gays are men and all the women are straight. WHAT ABOUT AFRICAN DYKES THO?! In recent news, Philip Schofield, British ITV new presenter, came out as gay, after 27 years of marriage to a woman with whom he has 2 daughters. From this surprising news came a lot of conversation, a lot of homophobic comments and a lot of questions--like: can we talk about homosexuality in ways that do not revolve around DL (down low) men or on the impact closeted gay men have on on straight women? Can we expand/deepen, and in fact focus our conversations around queerness on queer people? Why are queer women always left by the wayside, forgotten, dismissed from these conversations?  Support the show (
49:01 02/13/2020
From Henna Tattoos to Jerk Chicken
Yv. nerds out about the origins and history of henna not only as a beautiful form of body art over 5,000 years old, but also the plant henna comes from and its medicinal, spiritual and cosmetic uses. Henna is used all over the world--in Tunisia, Nigeria, Egypt, India, Iran, Yemen and more. How has henna use in the U.S. impacted the authenticity of this artform and its aesthetics? What is lost when an artform like henna travels to places where there is no cultural context for it? Also: henna should be its own official tattoo style  people specialise in period point blank. Support the show (
46:01 01/22/2020
15 Questions To Ask Yourself Before Getting Tatted
There are a million (yes, literally one million) things to think about before getting a tattoo. From choosing a tattoo artist to choosing what to get tatted and where to get tatted, Yv. goes IN, shares advice, reflections and the significance of tattoos to her. Whether inked already or considering getting your first tattoo, ask yourself these questions to help you along your tattoo journey. To see some of Yv.'s tatts, check Support the show (
79:37 01/20/2020
Breathing Thru the Holidays + Depression
The holidays can be hard. This episode explores different tips and tools to get through it. Some jokes. Some music to vibe to, movies/shows to watch and of course some love to wrap yourself up in to get through this holiday season. Sending big big love. xoxox. Support the show (
66:53 12/25/2019
Black Girls + Women Get Social Anxiety Too
Episode 3 explores the criticism Summer Walker experienced recently over a performance, the ways Black girls and women girls experience disproportionately high suspension and expulsion in schools as well as the general lack of compassion for Black women experiencing anxiety and addiction. Also: Black trans girls + women are the future. Shout outs to Whitney Houston, Summer Walker and Moya Bailey. It’s a lit episode, dive in. ( the show (
38:26 10/21/2019
"Positive Vibes Only" Is A Scam, Fam
Positivity used to dismiss people's pain is a SCAM. I said what I said. ( the show (
30:30 10/19/2019
Why Would I Match Somebody Else's Energy When I Have My Own?
In the first episode of NIGERIAN DYKE REALNESS, Yv. discusses the idea of matching the energy of the people we meet. How do you move through and navigate the people and situations you encounter? Do you match the energy of others? Extract your energy altogether? Or create your own vibe? ( the show
29:56 10/16/2019