Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption & Foster Care

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.How can something that happened in past generations impact us now and affect the way we parent? Join our conversation with Beth Tyson, a childhood trauma consultant and former family-based trauma therapist. She is the author of the children’s books A Grandfamily for Sullivan and Sullivan Goes to See Mama.In this episode, we cover:What is intergenerational trauma? In essence, intergenerational trauma is the passing of the emotional pain of one generation to another.What are some other names it goes by? (generational trauma, historical trauma, or multigenerational trauma)What types of events can cause intergenerational trauma? (personal and more widespread events)How can trauma that happened 100 years ago impact us now?What are the symptoms of intergenerational trauma that we might see in future generations?How to recognize behavior that is triggering intergenerational trauma?Researchers are also looking into the possible role of “epigenetic changes.” How do we know if what we are doing or how we are responding is the result of intergenerational trauma? Questions to ask ourselves about us or our relatives.ACEs Adverse Childhood Adversity study.How to heal from this type of trauma?Recognize that it exists.Basic background info can be used in understanding trauma.Become a detective of your past.What brings up big emotions in you from your child’s behavior?Apologize when we make mistakes. Acknowledge your mistake.Positive childhood experiences.Children need to be “claimed.” They need to belong and have one person who is committed to them.Traditions.Connecting to their history—cultural, religious, family. Put as many of their family connections in their life as is possible.Resiliency through moderate and predictable stressors. Ex. sports. Practical tips that can help you when you’re in the heat of the moment.Somatic stimulation.Recognize the arc of the behavior.Have mantras to help you cope. “My child is a good child who is having a hard time. I’m a good parent who is having a hard time.”For kinship families (although it can be applicable to all families), how do you deal with guilt that you potentially passed on your trauma to your child, and now the child you are raising is suffering as a result?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

9/11/24 • 49:07

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I have been married two years. I'm 44 and he’s 61. Is there an age limit to be able to adopt a baby?Resources:Domestic Infant Adoption (Resource page)Foster Care Adoption (Resource page)Adoption OptionsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

9/7/24 • 03:06

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What should you expect when adopting internationally or bringing a child into your home from foster care? Check out our discussion with Dr. Robin Gurwitch a licensed clinical psychologist with close to 30 years of experience in evidence-based treatments and the impact of trauma/disaster/terrorism on children. She is a professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Duke University Medical Center and the Director of Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) and Child-Adult Relationship Enhancement (CARE) Training at the Center for Child & Family Health. She has been a National Child Traumatic Stress Network member since 2001.In this episode, we cover:While there are some distinctions, children adopted from US foster care and children adopted internationally have much in common.We say that the vast majority of children adopted through foster care or internationally have special needs. In addition to the medical or physical needs we might see, there are also emotional and behavioral needs, and today, we will focus on those needs.What are some of the factors that influence the behaviors of children adopted from foster care or adopted abroad?Neglect (lack of stimulation)AbuseMaternal substance abuse and subsequent prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugsMultiple caregiversInstitutionalization (multiple caregivers, neglect, removal from birth family)Does the length of time in the institution impact psychological and physical development?May have entered the institution after having lived in a family first.What different types of care are available, and how do these different types of care impact the child’s behavior and development? Lack of educationChild leaving familiar ties and surroundingsWhat are some expected or typical behaviors common in children who have experienced these?Attachment issuesFood insecurity-how does that lookSleep issuesAttention IssuesPost-traumatic stressImpacts of prenatal substance abuseSpecific Impact of InstitutionalizationLack of understanding of the meaning of familyParentified children and not seeing adults as a source of meeting needsImpacts of neglectImpacts of abuse (often, we don’t have reports of abuse in the child’s file)How common is sexual abuse in foster care or children in orphanages or institutions abroad? What are the behaviors that might result from sexual abuse?Impact of the child leaving familiar ties and surroundingsWhat type of parenting is effective at helping kids adjust?Setting reasonable expectations.Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

9/4/24 • 47:36

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Resources:Adoption Comparison ChartsAdoption Agencies (Resource page) International Agencies (Creating a Family partners)Types of Adoption (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

8/31/24 • 04:05

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Have you ever wondered what adult adoptees really think about adoption? Join us to hear about the Profiles in Adoption: Adult Adoptee Experiences report, based on research by the National Council for Adoption. In this episode, we cover:Who did you interview for the Profiles in Adoption: Adult Adoptee Experiences report, and how did you find them?You separated your responses by type of adoption.How satisfied are adult adoptees in general—life satisfaction?Did they think that adoption could and did work in their best interest? In the best interest of their birth family? In the best interest of their adoptive family?What were their thoughts on openness in adoption?For transracial adoptions: Do you believe your adoptive parent(s) did a sufficient job at discussing issues of race/ethnicity with you?What were their thoughts on whether to allow transracial adoptions?Were adoptees in favor of their families having an annual recognition of adoption?Specific questions for those adopted from foster care. P. 25Specific questions for those adopted as infants domestically. P. 28Specific questions for those adopted internationally P. 30Advice for future adoptive parents. P. 32What adoptees wish their parents had done differently. p. 41Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

8/28/24 • 49:31

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We have two boys, ages 10 and 12. We’ve been told that if we become a foster family, the foster children will have to have a room to themselves. Our boys can share a room for another year, but then we want to separate them. Can we just foster for one year? How long do foster kids usually stay?Resources:Becoming a Foster ParentRaising Foster ChildrenWorking with Birth Parents for the Child's Best InterestSupport the Show.Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

8/24/24 • 03:21

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.There is a huge need for foster and adoptive homes for LGBTQ+ youth in foster care. We interview Holly Harridan and Dr. Shelly Ronen. Holly is a Senior User Experience Researcher at Bloom Works and an applied Anthropologist with a background in queer and feminist studies.  Dr. Shelly Ronen is a Senior User Experience Researcher at Bloom Works. She has a Ph.D. in Sociology and specializes in gender and sexuality.In this episode, we cover:Terminology. LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA2S+, queer. What does each of the letters mean, and what is correct?What is the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity? What are some of the unique challenges faced by LGBTQIA+ youth in foster care?What does it mean to have an” affirming” home?Some foster and adoptive parents know in advance that the child that they are fostering or adopting identifies as LGBTQ+, but other times, it is something that they find out later. If they know in advance, what are some things they can do to prepare?Age-dependent- how to allow exploration without pigeonholing a child too soon?How should parents handle it if they suspect their child is queer, but their child or youth does not want to talk about it?Are the issues different depending on whether the youth or young adult is lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender?How can parents encourage healthy romantic relationships?What if you’ve been raised to believe that homosexuality is a sin?How do you think agencies should balance a commitment to kinship caregivers against a commitment to the safety and affirmation of LGBTQ+ children and youth? What is your response to people who say that since many foster parents are motivated by religious faith, requiring families to affirm LGBTQ+ children and youth would create a placement crisis?What resources can foster parents look to for guidance on being affirming of LGBTQ+ children and youth? Our goal is to provide a nurturing and supportive environment where LGBTQIA+ foster youth can grow, thrive, and develop a strong sense of self-worth and belonging.For a list of resources from this episode, visit our post on Creating a Family.Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

8/21/24 • 48:19

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I want to adopt a baby. We are working with an adoption attorney, and we have to make a book about us and our lives to be shown to women and girls who are considering adoption for their baby. My husband has full-sleeve tattoos on both arms and on his neck. I am worried that it might be a turnoff for a girl choosing a family. Should we use pictures where his tattoos don’t show to up our chances?Resources:Preparing an Adoptive Parent Profile (video)Creating Your Adoptive Parent Profile (article)How To Create a Compelling Adoption Profile (1 hr. CreatingaFamilyEd.org online course w/ certificate of completion available)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

8/17/24 • 02:51

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Does your child struggle with anger, and do you struggle with how to help them? Tune in to our discussion today with Jessica Sinarski, a certified adoption therapist and author of the picture books Riley the Brave and Your Magic Backpack series. She also serves on the editorial board for The Journal of Child and Adolescent Trauma.In this episode, we cover:All kids get angry, in fact, all people get angry, so how do we know if our kid has bigger issues with anger management?Why do kids who have experienced trauma often struggle with anger?Does it matter the type of trauma: abuse, neglect, adoption?Does the prenatal environment that is not ideal (maternal stress, alcohol or drug exposure, poor nutrition) impact a child’s or youth’s emotional regulation?Why do kids seem to overreact—big feelings for what feels like a small issue?What are some typical triggers that elicit big responses?Steps for managing natural feelings of anger. Name with few words.Working our way back to calm. Co-regulate back to calm. Suggest a break, model deep breath, let’s stop and think, etc.Give a chance to re-do. Fixing the thing that they broke.Read books about regulating emotions.Lots of physical activity.Steps for maintaining connections with big angry feelings. Compassion for yourself. It feels hard because it is hard. They have a lot to be angry about.PACE-playful, acceptance, curious, empathy (from Daniel Hughes)What do you mean by upstairs and downstairs brains? (from Dan Seigel)How do we help our kids understand why they are reacting the way they do and how to handle their feelings better?Resources:Brave BrainsHands Are Not for Hitting by Martine Agassi (ages 0-6)My Many Colored Days by Dr. Seuss (ages 0-6)Ravi’s Roar by Tom PercivalGrumpy Monkey by Suzanne LangGorilla’s MusclesThe Riley the Brave series (including Riley the Brave’s Big Feelings Activity Book)Hello, Anger (age 7-13)Samantha Snowden’s Anger Management Workbook for Kids (age 7-13)Your Amazing Brain: The Epic Illustrated Guide (age 8+)“Unpacking Anger” (blog post with additional recommendedSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

8/14/24 • 56:27

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: My husband and I are starting the adoption process, and so I recently reached out to Human Resources at my place of employment and learned that I do not qualify for short-term disability (STD), so I am not eligible for any type of paid time off when baby eventually comes. Are there any advocacy groups working on getting something similar to short-term disability for adoptive parents, where at least some portion of their salary is paid during the leave? I mean, there is research out there on the importance of bonding and attachment for the future health of children! Resources:Dave Thomas Foundation's Adoption-Friendly Workplace program5 Ways Leaders Can Support Adoptive Parents (Article)Movement Advancement Project - State Family Leave LawsCreating a Family Online Support GroupSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

8/10/24 • 06:30

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Does your teen seem overly concerned about how they look? Do they seem to overeat or restrict their food intake without worrying about the consequences? This interview with Dr. Charlotte Markey will help. Dr. Markey is a professor of psychology and chair of the Health Sciences Department at Rutgers University, and a research scientist who has published over 100 scholarly articles and chapters about mental health issues. She has been conducting research on eating behavior and body image for over 25 years. She is the author of The Body Image Book for Girls, Being You: The Body Image Book for Boys, and most recently, Adultish: The Body Image Book for Life.In this episode, we cover:What do you include when you speak of body image?I think of it now more about weight, but wouldn’t it include having straight teeth, fewer pimples, and a cute haircut?Have young people always struggled with body image, or is this something new to our modern times?When should parents begin to worry that a teen’s concern over body image is becoming too much?My 17-year-old is beginning to gain quite a bit of weight, and her doctor is concerned. She doesn’t seem to be worried about it, but I am worried that she is establishing bad habits. We eat “normal,” relatively healthy food at home and have some “treats,” but not a huge amount, so she’s not gaining weight from what she is eating at home. She is driving now and stops frequently to eat fast food and then doesn’t eat much of what we serve for our meals. She also buys a lot of chips, sodas, and cookies and eats them in her room all evening. This is beginning to feel like disordered eating to me. Parents worry that if they say anything, they are drawing attention and casting too much emphasis on weight.I have a 16-year-old girl who is very aware of her weight. I think some degree of that is normal, but I see that she is adding more exercise to her routine even though she has always been active in sports. I also see that she is eating less and less at our meals, but then she eats an entire pint of ice cream. She loves clothes and is very pleased when she drops a size. Should I be worried?What is intuitive eating?Are the body image issues for boys different than for girls?What teens are at the greatest risk of developing an eating disorder?Are youth who have experienced trauma or food insecurity at greater risk?Are teens with ADHD at greater risk for eating disorders, especially overeating? What protective factors should we add to our kids' lives when we see them struggling?Where do you go first for help when your teen is in trouble?The impact of GLP-1 medications such as Ozempic and Wegovy on body image of teens.What are the impacts of social media and mainstream media on body image Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

8/7/24 • 47:25

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I just became a foster parent of a 14-year-old girl. She came with a cell phone paid for by her prior foster family. I told them I wanted to take over payments. I also want to sit down with her periodically and spontaneously and ask her to show me what she’s been doing on her phone while I show her what I do on my phone. I hope she will realize she can tell me anything and that I won’t hide things from her. Is this a good idea? How should I approach it? Do you think it will build trust, or will she resent it? Resources:Managing Technology & Screens (Resource page)Welcoming an Older Child to Your Home (Resource page)Raising Foster Children (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

8/3/24 • 08:00

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.If you are considering domestic infant adoption, you need to listen to this show to better understand the possibility that the expectant mom may change her mind. Our guest is adoption attorney, Lila Bradley, who has practiced law relating to adoption and child welfare law for the past 20 years.In this episode, we discuss:Distinction between failed match and adoption dissolution or sometimes known as disruption.What is the “typical” process for domestic infant adoption whether the adoptive parents are using an adoption agency or an adoption attorney?When do the adoptive parents legally become the baby’s parents?When can a mom change her mind and decide to parent the baby?Keep in mind that what prospective adoptive parents see as a “failure” very well may be seen as a “success” by the biological parents.Creating a Family resource: Failed Adoption Matches: How Common? How Costly? How to SurviveWhat are some signs that an adoption match may fail and the mom will decide to parent?When is the most common time for a mom to change her mind and decide to parent?Does it matter what stage of pregnancy the match was made?How often do biological moms change their mind about placing their baby for adoption?Do adoptive parents lose money if the adoption match fails?Suggestions on how adoptive parents can cope when an adoption match falls apart?Do adoption matches with foster children disrupt? Do adoption matches in international adoption disrupt?Do adoptions disrupt after finalization?Resources: Failed Adoption Matches: How Common? How Costly? How to Survive State laws on when expectant parents can change their mind about relinquishing their child for adoption. Children's BureauSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7/31/24 • 40:45

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I’m a foster-to-adopt mom. I have 3 children. Two have already been adopted, and we are in the process of adopting one. My oldest son, who is 5 years old and turning 6 in Aug, had parental visits, but they were terminated when the parental rights were terminated, and he no longer sees them. It's been a year since the last visit. My daughter never had visits and doesn’t see her bio family, but I send the family a twice-a-year email with photos and updates. My current foster child, who is 4 years old, has once-a-week phone calls with his mom, who is in prison. My 5-year-old son is really struggling with seeing his younger brother getting phone calls with his bio Mom since he no longer sees his bio parents, and it’s hard for him to understand why his brother talks to his mom, but he does not. Each one of my child's stories is very different, but my oldest one notices the differences and doesn't understand why they're in the same family but have different relationships with past foster families and biological parents. How do I navigate this as he gets older?Resources:Working with Birth Parent's for the Child's Best Interest5 Tips for Navigating Sticky Situations with Birth ParentsOpen Adoption and the HolidaysFoster Youth VoicesSibling RelationshipsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7/27/24 • 06:50

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Does your child have a disability or have some label? If so, you need to listen to this interview with Dr. Deborah Winking, an educational psychologist and a special education teacher. She is the author of Capable: A Story of Triumph for Children the World Has Judges as “Different” and Raising Capable Kids. She is the mother of four, including one adopted child and one child with a neurological disorder.In this episode, we cover:Many of our kids have hidden disabilities caused by trauma. These disabilities can look like so many different things, including behavior problems.You say these 12 habits are to change yourself, not your child. Why?Habit 1: Believe that effort creates abilityHabit 3: Set a vision of capability with your child and adjust it over timeHabit 6: Send capable messages: Use words and act in ways that let your child know that you think they are capableHabit 8: Challenge your child in ways that regularly take them (and you) outside your comfort zone.Habit 10: Allow your child to make choices and experience the consequences of those choicesHabit 11: celebrate your child’s persistence to build a narrative of strength Order your copy of Raising Capable Kids & use code: Capable20 for a 20% discount and free shipping.Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7/24/24 • 45:13

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I was just asked to take on a Spanish-speaking teen with a baby. Do you have any resources to address fostering a teenager with a language barrier, as well as supporting her in developing adult skills and independence? She comes with a complicated history involving immigrating here on her own. Resources:Welcome an Older Child to Your Home (Resource)Former Foster Youth Voices (Resource)Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7/20/24 • 04:58

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.What do teachers understand about adoption? What are the misperceptions? We talk with two researchers on this topic: Dr. Hal Grotevant, the Rudd Family Foundation Chair in Psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, and Dr. Abbie Goldberg, a Professor of Psychology and current Director of Women’s & Gender Studies at Clark University.In this episode, we cover:How knowledgeable were teachers in understanding the impact of trauma?How knowledgeable were teachers in understanding the impact of attachment?How knowledgeable were teachers in understanding the impact of adoption?How knowledgeable were teachers in understanding the impact of prenatal exposure?Was there a perception that adopted kids were “troubled”?What did they know about open adoption?How accepting were teachers to the idea of modifying assignments to reflect diverse families, including those formed by adoption?Do teachers know whether kids are adopted? Do they need to know? Do they feel comfortable asking for this information?Did teachers present lessons that included the diversity that adoption represents?Does teacher training, either formal or in-service, often include information on adoption?What can parents do to help their child’s teacher be more adoption-aware or adoption-sensitive?Where can listeners get more information on your research?The “Teachers and Adopted Children” Survey and the Factsheet for Teacher can be found here.Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7/17/24 • 41:01

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We have applied to adopt a baby. We’re more or less being told that if we don’t agree to an open adoption, we’ll never get chosen by a birth mom. But, I really don’t want an open adoption. I think kids need just one mom and dad and opening up our family to others will just be confusing for everyone. But, I’m afraid that we’ll never get chosen if I say this.Resources:Open Adoption (Resource page)Listening to Adoptee VoicesUnderstanding the Birth Parents' ExperienceSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7/13/24 • 06:00

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Do you have a child who acts out at school? Do you struggle with how to work with the school to help your child? If so, don't miss today's interview with Sarah Naish, the CEO and Founder of the Centre of Excellence in Child Trauma and the author of many books on foster parenting, including The A-Z of Trauma-Informed Teaching.In this episode, we cover:Why do our kids often have behavioral problems?What are some typical behaviors that are problematic in school?What is it about school that exacerbates behavior issues?How much training does the average teacher have on the long-term impact of trauma on a child?How much training does the average teacher have on the long-term impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs on a child?Many of our kids will have an IEP or 504 Plan. How to address behavioral issues in these plans?Let’s say you have a child who is acting out (i.e., being defiant, not following rules, disrupting class, and other externalized behavioral issues); what would be your suggestions for a parent to work with the school on these behaviors?Let’s say you have a child who is withdrawing or fading into the woodwork (i.e., internalized behavioral issues); what would be your suggestions for a parent to work with the school on these behaviors?That doesn’t mean that there doesn’t need to be consequences.Question from our audience: Child is being defiant in school and refuses to finish her assignments. Teacher sends the unfinished assignments home to be completed by the next day, in addition to the child’s homework. Parents are spending the entire evening working with child to finish the work. How would you suggest handling it?Thoughts on homework? Blame, embarrassmentHomeschoolingWhat are some ways parents can start the school year off right to set the stage for working with the school to help their child succeed?Tips for parenting in working with the schools.Share infoShare trauma-informed teaching resources.Be honest and upfront about what you will and won’t do. Ex. Homework.Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7/10/24 • 42:24

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We are planning to adopt our third child. We have reason to believe that my husband’s parents will oppose this idea. Do you have any advice on how to approach them?Resources:Transitioning Your Child to Your HomeWinning Over Reluctant Extended Family to Your Adoption PlansSibling Relations (Combing Children by Birth & Adoption)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7/6/24 • 07:01

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us for this discussion with Dr. Gretchen Sisson, the author of Relinquished, the Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood.In this episode, we cover:Book focuses on private adoptions between 2000-2020. Not on parents where parental rights were terminated by the state and not on international adoptions.Full of first-person stories from birth moms. How many women are currently placing a child for adoption compared to the number of births? How does this compare to the number of women who decide on abortion? Only 25 % considered adoption, and only 9% relinquished. Turnaway Study90% of relinquishing moms considered parenting, but only 40% considered abortion.What is the demographic of the mom who relinquishes her child for adoption between 2000-2020?  Why do women relinquish or choose adoption? What does the research show on how many women who decide against abortion or can’t have an abortion because their pregnancy is too advanced opt for adoption?Why do so few women who are considering an abortion not consider adoption?Very often, the moms in your book and in your research describe adoption as their only option. Why were the other options not seen as viable? “When women have more options available to them, they are less likely to relinquish.”Options counseling.How has openness in adoption changed things?Some research shows birth moms are mostly happy with their decision to place a child for adoption. NCFA Adoption Profile: Birth Parents Experience (1400 birth parents)The issues of substance abuse disorder, acute mental illness, or extreme poverty are real. Why is it not in the child’s best interest for the mom to choose adoption?Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997- “fast-tracked termination of parental rights”—failed to talk about the reality of kids growing up in foster care. Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

7/3/24 • 46:41

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Prior to Russia invading Ukraine, it was possible to adopt from Ukraine. In fact, depending on the year, it was one of the top 10 placing countries to the US. However, the government of Ukraine has said that intercountry adoption will not fully resume while martial law is in place. However, the government of Ukraine confirmed they will process intercountry adoptions in limited circumstances. Resources:Top Ten Placing Countries to the USFactors to Consider When Adopting from UkraineInternational Adoption (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

6/29/24 • 03:44

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join this interview with Dr. JaeRan Kim, an adoption researcher who also blogs at Harlow's Monkey. In this episode, we cover:Research:Intercountry adoptees with adoption disruption and displacement histories – Adoptee perspectivesKorean adoptees as parentsAdoptees who adoptTransracially adopted Korean American adults raising multiracial childrenAdoptive parents of children with disabilitiesSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

6/26/24 • 46:19

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Summer break is just around the corner for families of school-aged children – whether you are ready or not. You may already be planning your annual vacation, buying pool passes, and buying tickets online for local venues to enjoy together as a family. However, you may also dread your child’s hours of unscheduled time. It’s understandable – transitioning from your predictable, regimented school-year routine to a less structured summer routine can shock your kids’ systems. How do you plan to survive the summer with your kids impacted by trauma?Resources:Surviving Summer with Kids Impacted by Trauma (Article)Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource page)Raising Foster Children (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

6/22/24 • 06:36

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join this inspiring discussion with two former foster youths who talk about their time in foster care and how that experience shaped them. Lanitta was a pregnant and parenting teen growing up in the North Carolina foster care system. In May of 2022, she joined the 2% population of former foster youth that graduate from post-secondary education with a bachelor’s degree in business administration and finance. Mayia Warren was in foster care and later adopted by her grandmother. She has multiple invisible disabilities, albinism, and is visually impaired. In the spring of 2021, Mayia graduated with a bachelor's degree in Kinesiology. She is an advocate in multiple fields such as: disability, foster care, children and families, and wellness. She is also an independent recording artist, poet, author and philanthropist.In this episode, we cover:Synopsis of your life story.What were the hardest parts of being in foster care?What were the better parts, if there were any?What would you want foster, adoptive, and kinship parents to know about how it feels to be in foster care?What have been the long-term impacts of sexual abuse?What helped you heal from the sexual abuse if you consider yourself healed?What would you want foster, adoptive, and kinship parents to know about how to help a child or youth heal from sexual abuse? What can these safe adults do to help?You have both “succeeded” despite many obstacles. What do you contribute your success to?Snippet of Mayia’s new album: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1t9j1coN76ZarHnTDkDClXYuPZm2ya-t3/view?usp=drivesdk Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

6/19/24 • 60:07

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.A Lifebook is the story of how your child came to be yours and the story of his life before he came to you. Adoption is only one aspect of your child, and at some point, his life merges into your life. However, he had a life before he came to your family, and his Lifebook tells this part of his story.ResourcesAdoption Lifebooks (Suggested Books)Welcoming an Older Child to Your Home (Resource Page)Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource Page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

6/15/24 • 06:23

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are you considering adopting internationally. If so, you really should listen to this interview with the great Dr. Dana Johnson, MD, PhD. He is a Professor of Pediatrics in the Division of Neonatology at the University of Minnesota Medical School. Dr. Johnson founded the International Adoption Clinic at the University of Minnesota. In this episode, we discuss:Prenatal exposure to alcohol and drugs: How common in international adoption? How much and when in the pregnancy? What does the impact look like in an infant, preschooler, school-aged child, and older?AlcoholOpioidsCocaineMethamphetamineMarijuanaCigarettesPrenatal stress: Does maternal stress during pregnancy have a long-term impact on the child? Is this something that adoptive parents will know other than by assuming from reading the files?How heritable are mental illnesses?DepressionBi-polarSchizophreniaHow heritable are the following?ADHDIntelligence or academic successAttachment issues: How common with international adoption, and what are the recognizable symptoms of attachment struggles?Disinhibited social engagement disorder. What is it, and how common?How common is Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)?Impacts of neglect: How common is neglect in international adoption?Impact of institutionalization in international adoption.Impacts of physical abuse: How common in international adoption? How often do referrals report physical abuse?Impact of sexual abuse: How common in international adoption? How often do referrals report sexual abuse?Impact of lack of prenatal care.How common are the following:Hepatitis B: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?Hepatitis C: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?HIV: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?Congenital Syphilis: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?Prematurity: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?Low Birth Weight: What is the long-term prognosis of a child who was born with low birth weight?Cleft lip/palate: Where is it most prevalent? Long-term prognosis?Congenital heart issuesMissing limbs/digits-amniotic band syndromeAlbinismDwarfismMost common special needs you are seeing.What is the risk to the child if the birth mother has/had tuberculosis?Other risk factors to be aware of.Tips for evaluating risk factors in international adoption. How to find a clinic that specializes in evaluating international adoption referrals?Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

6/12/24 • 49:31

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We’re 5 years in trying to conceive and I’m TIRED. I have an opportunity to adopt an unborn baby girl. My question is, does it get any easier dealing with the infertility, the failure, the empty feeling? Does your heart stop breaking every month when you know you’re not pregnant? I’m so afraid that I’m gonna get this little baby but still need more…. hope I didn’t offend anyone!Resources:Coming to Terms with Infertility Grief Before You Adopt (Suggested Books)Parenting After InfertilityBreastfeeding the Adopted ChildSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

6/8/24 • 04:35

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us to talk with Cam Lee Small about his new book, The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment.In this episode, we talk about:You wrote this book for Christian adoptees. Why that specific audience?Adoptees have been objectified, scrutinized, and infantized. Can you give examples of where you see this?The narrative surrounding adoption, especially international adoption: you were saved, you are better off, God called us, etc.Loss and grief that is inherent in adoption. Ambiguous loss and disenfranchised grief.Is trauma a part of all adoptions?What are the stages of recovery from trauma and how can adoptive, foster, and kinship parents help with this recovery?“The cost of gratitude-driven silence is high.”I am adopting (kin) a two-year-old girl and planning to keep her basic birth story as part of open conversation. She has details in her story that may be difficult to hear and I would like to keep those from her until she is much much older. Do you agree or disagree with this idea and why? How old were you when you learned your full adoption story?Your parents gave you full access to your records, which you could look at with them or alone. Was this helpful, and do you recommend this approach?3-5-7 model for preparing children for permanencyThe reunion experience. Dr. Susan Branco’s seven themes of emotions that participant report from their reunion experience. Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

6/5/24 • 39:37

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Hello! I’ve been listening to the podcast for a little while now as I consider my desire to adopt. I’ve had many models around me who adopted their children, and although the process is difficult, I have a desire to provide a home to children in need. It seems like now adoptions are declining for various reasons, and I’m trying to consider my motivations and whether it is right for me and my husband. One of our considerations is that my husband has a physical disability, and I wonder if there is anyone or data about how likely/quickly it’s possible for someone with a significant physical disability to adopt (domestic infant or international). My husband is very physically independent and is the breadwinner in our family. We have not started seriously contacting agencies as we hope to wait a few years before considering starting our family.Resources:Types of Adoption (Domestic, International, Foster Care)Choosing an Adoption AgencyAffording AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building

6/2/24 • 10:17