Show cover of Out of My Mind in Costa Rica-Living with CPTSD

Out of My Mind in Costa Rica-Living with CPTSD

Out of My Mind in Costa Rica or OOMMCR for short is an effort to help those who suffer from PTSD and C-PTSD and support the people who love them. OOMMCR is a personal journal of my Hero's Journey mixed with clinical insights and stories of my trials and tribulations as a human being who was raised in an incest family. I'm a retired clinical social worker from California I hope this podcast will persuade you or someone you love to take positive steps towards healing the devastating wounds that resulted in the development of PTSD or C-PTSD.I am new podcasting, so please bear with me as I do my best to improve the quality of my content and the quality of my production. I am a stickler for detail, but I want this podcast to be like visiting an old friend. I want to credit Audionautix for my intro and outro music. It's a tune called Big Blues You can learn more about Audionautix at: said, let the pods begin.


C-PTSD and Brain Fog - I Can See Clearly Now
Episode 37C-PTSD and Brain FogI Can See Clearly NowApril 27, 2022Today I want to talk about Brain Fog which Merriam-Webster defines as: "A usually temporary state of diminished mental capacity marked by an inability to concentrate or to think or reason clearly."This condition is characterized by excessive cognitive fatigue.” Well, that about sums it up for me. The past several months I have been really out of it and Brain Fog is the only explanation I have found that makes sense. I’ve been dazed and confused for so long it is beginning to be my normal state of mind. Then what?Here’s a good example of Brain Fog. When I was preparing this episode, I completely lost track of what day it was and this morning about 9am, I realized I had an eye exam at the main hospital in San Jose at 9am, a 2-hour drive. The appointment was scheduled for 9am, so I missed it. For weeks, I’ve been anxious and fretting about driving into the city to get my eyes examined. The good news is I don’t have to drive to San José, but the bad news is I still need to get my eyes examined. There is definitely something going on with my left eye and who knows when I can get another appointment. The Brain Fog once again was successful in sabotaging me. Brain Fog does this frequently. It is becoming harder and harder to take care of what needs to be taken care of. This is the main reason why I am focusing on Brain Fog today.As usual, below are some links to even more information about PTST and Brain Fog. My life with Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder – Tereza's Health Blog ( & Brain Fog - The Trauma PracticeMental Fog, Stress, and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) | HealthyPlaceGET OUT OF BRAIN FOG from Complex PTSD - Bing videoUnderstanding Mental Fog And Complex PTSD | by Annie Tanasugarn, PhD | Invisible Illness | Medium
26:21 4/27/22
C-PTSD and Starting Over-With a Guest Appearance by Shame
The show producer has not yet provided a description for this episode.
29:50 3/28/22
C-PTSD and My Expat LIfe - No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.
Episode 35C-PTSD and My Expat LifeNo Matter Where You Go, There You Are.October 4, 2021Shit! Has it been a month? I am so sorry, and I apologize for my lack of production lately. I am still working my way through the blues, but the sun is shining, the sky is blue, and another wonderful day is on the horizon. This week I am compelled to share a few things about how the hell I ended up in Costa Rica in the first place. I hope you are at least entertained by my musings, but what I really hope is that Out of My Mind in Costa Rica – Living with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress is a beacon of light for you and a factor influencing you to take care of yourself first, knowing that if you are well, then you can tend to the needs of others.As usual, I have compiled a few websites that shed a bit more light on today’s subject. I hope that these small, seemingly trivial acts will stimulate you to do what you need to do to heal from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress.If you are not struggling with C-PTSD then you may have more questions than answers. Julie Maida writes about the key things we all wish others would know about this condition.What Someone Living with Complex PTSD Wishes You Knew - Julie Maida ( is a very concise article written by Shirley Davis which was published at CPTSD Foundation. Straight forward and to the point.The Difficult Road to Intimacy: Living with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder | CPTSDfoundation.orgFriendships are relationships and at times they are the most intimate relationships in our lives. Here’s a clear article written by Ashleigh Golden, PsyD that helps you to understand the conflictual nature of relationship with people who have C-PTSD.CPTSD and Relationships: Why Conflict Happens and What To Do ( have just completed a vast amount of research seeking some information on what living with C-PTSD as an expatriate is like and what kind of special challenges beset people in this situation. Nothing, nada, zero is what I found. It looks like I need to do an episode of Out of My Mind in Costa Rica-Living with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress focusing on life as an Expat, regardless of where you are in the world, and you have C-PTSD. Wouldn’t you know it, another thing I need to do myself. Expect that sooner, rather than later. Hell, who knows, maybe next week. Meanwhile give a listen to my current version of Expat life when you have C-PTSD.
29:19 10/4/21
C-PTSD and Working Through the Blues - Mama Told Me There'd Be Days Like This
Episode 34C-PTSD and Working Through the BluesMama Told Me There’d Be Days Like ThisSeptember 17, 2021Yes, I am still working through the blues. What can I say? It is what it is, and this is my river, and this is how it is flowing at the moment. I don’t want to be a Donny Downer, but you decide for yourself. I am sharing a little bit about my process and what makes is work for me. Life seems to be a reminder that we need to keep on our toes and keep moving forward, wherever that may be for you. For me it is just a matter of loving myself and keeping my commitments to myself. Each day I strive to do better than the day before. Sometimes that happens and sometimes it doesn’t. You pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on that pony.Here are a few websites I found that punctuate today’s theme, More of the fucking same thing as last time. But different. Give it a listen and you be the judge.Scary Mommy is a great resource for people in all kinds of recovery. She recently posted this article and it gets right to the heart of the matter.I Have CPTSD: Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder ( Vicki Peterson published this intriguing article on The and offers a clear explanation as to the differences between Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Complex Post-Traumatic Stress.When Complex Trauma Is Misdiagnosed as Anxiety | The MightyOut of the Fog does a great job of getting down to brass tacks. This article gives a great overview of CPTSD, treatment and the process of healing.Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD) — Out of the is doing a lot of great work with helping people resolve their own particular version of CPTSD.The Final Six Symptoms of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder |
28:19 9/17/21
Episode 33 C-PTSD and Being Stuck in the Mud - Not The First Time, Probably Not The Last
Episode 33C-PTSD and Being Stuck in the MudNot the first time, probably  not the last.August 2, 2021This week I am talking about being “stuck in the mud”. I’m spinning my wheels and I got no traction. It’s beginning to trouble me. The good news is that doing this podcast is regenerative for me. I know I have been really inconsistent these past couple of months, but I believe I am on the upswing after increasing my Fluoxetine to 40mg/day. This seems like an appropriate dose for the moment. Don’t think that the medication is the only thing that is making a difference. I have had a lot of time to think and thinking I did. I thunk and I thunk and I thunk. Now I’m exhausted from all of the thinking.Today’s episode: C-PTSD and Stuck in the Mud details these struggles as well as some ideas to break the logjam. I’m not completely out of the woods yet, but the sun is shining and my mood is improving, poco a poco. I am encouraged. If it weren’t for this podcast, I would not be able to say this. I owe much of my improvement, which is marginal at best, to my listeners. You folks who consistently listen to Out of My Mind in Costa Rica. You have my heart and my dedication. Now, let me share a few websites that help to put an exclamation point onto this week’s episode.My friend, the friend, whom I highlighted a couple of weeks ago, recommended a book by Pema Chӧdrӧn, entitled When Things Fall Apart. It is a Buddhist perspective on coming to terms with and resolving life’s most painful moments. Its approach is familiar but the practices she described are revolutionary. Not to mention, they are extremely challenging to undertake.The Pema Chodron Foundation – The Buddhist Contemplative TraditionMichael G. Quirke, LMFT presents a very good article for those of you looking to establish a foundation for your recovery.Recovering from Complex PTSD: 3 Key Stages of Long-Term Healing ( Jessee, M.A. in Huntington Beach, CA provides another perspective on the 3 stages of C-PTSD recovery.The 3 Stages of Complex PTSD Recovery ( Lo of TraumitizedAspie writes an excellent article covering a wide range of trauma information and recovery information. Check it out.How Does Complex PTSD Affect Interpersonal Relationships? – TraumatizedAspie.comDavid Joel Miller, MS, Licensed Therapist & Licensed Counselor provides some great guidance on how to tread your path of healing. Given the complexity and interpersonal nature of Complex-PTSD, it is critical to be patient and pay attention to the little things.6 ways to recover from Complex Trauma or Complex PTSD | counselorssoapbox
26:23 9/2/21
C-PTSD and Letting Go - Release and Find Peace
Episode 32C-PTSD and Letting GoRelease and Find PeaceAugust 27, 2021Today’s episode I am talking about letting it go. Everyone says this, but what the heck does it actually entail? How does one let go of experiences that have been buried to the bone? Well, I take a stab at this topic today, and I hope you will find it engaging and moves you to let go. Even if a little bit. A little bit is better than not at all. Poco a poco. Una cosa por vez.As usual I have discovered some wonderful websites and people who are doing amazing thing in the world of healing from PTSD and Complex PTSD. I hope you find them helpful.Dr. Schwartz help people to understand that nature of barriers to healing from Complex-PTSD. This article highlights the ways we struggle when adapting to a new, healing way of being.Overcoming Barriers in Complex PTSD | Dr. Arielle Schwartz ( Hosier BSc Hons; MSc; PGDE(FAHE) gets to the point on what keeps us stuck in our pain.Can't Let Go Of Childhood Trauma? Here's Possible Reasons Why (, through her own story, helps you understand what Letting Go is and how to do it.Letting Go of the Past When You Have PTSD | The MightyHere’s a YouTube video by Healthy Place that hits the nail on the head when it comes to letting go.PTSD and Forgiving Yourself, Letting Go of Self-Blame | HealthyPlace - Bing video
27:27 8/27/21
Episode 31: C-PTSD and Empathy
Episode 31C-PTSD and EmpathyThe Role of Empathy in Healing C-PTSDJuly 29, 2021This week I am talking about Empathy. You know, the power to be with the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another. It’s a special trait that everyone should work on developing as much as possible. Empathy is the glue that holds relationships together. No empathy, no relationship. It’s that simple.Here’s a sweet article on listening. Remember, listening is loving.5 Simple Keys to Helping Your Partner Feel Heard | Psychology TodayWe have probably experienced this with our partner on more than one occasion.Is It Possible to Lack Empathy? (’s the official Webster’s Dictionary definition of Empathy.Empathy | Definition of Empathy at Dictionary.comThis another wonderful article by Pete Walker. I really encourage all of you dealing with C-PTSD to look into this man’s work. It is absolutely exquisite.More and more traumatology pundits list attachment disorder as one of the key symptoms of Complex PTSD ( Finally, here’s a nice article by by Matthew Tull Ph.D.Self Compassion | healingcomplextrauma (
25:04 7/29/21
Episode 30: C-PTSD and Friendships - A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed
Episode 30  C-PTSD and Friendships  A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed  July 11, 2021  I recently have been in email contact with a dear old friend. A friend who also happens to have been my friend since 1984 when I was working at the Sacramento Children’s Home. He was a group home social worker at the time, and I was preparing to get into graduate school. We hit it off right away and were fast friends until, over 30 years later, he too became the victim of one of my emotional flashbacks. There is no need to go into the details here but suffice it to say it was a tsunami for both us and it buried my heart for many years.  Six years after our estrangement, this man had the courage to reach out to me. I’ve always been a sucker sincerity and courage. What follows in this episode is a series of emails we have exchanged over the last 72 days. I hope the connection between he and I resonates with you and compels you to consider reaching out to a long-lost friend of yours. Break the silence. I plan to, that’s for sure.  As usual, I am sharing some websites that I think will enhance this email exchange between two old friends who have been on the outs for some time.  Enjoy the podcast and please tell your friends you love them. Here’s a nice article by Jay Polish on how C-PTSD can impact relationships.How Complex PTSD Can Affect Relationships, According To An Expert ( of my favorite people out there helping people with Complex PTSD is Anna Runkle. She’s the Crappy Childhood Fairy and there is more information about her and her programs at the link below.CPTSD: How to Have Better FRIENDSHIPS - The Crappy Childhood FairyI find a lot of good information on this website. I highly recommend you cruise around and check it out.C-PTSD and Interpersonal Relationships ( Fischer writes this nice article on being in relationship with someone with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress.Struggling With Friendship With Complex PTSD | The Mighty 
43:18 7/11/21
Episode 29: C-PTSD and Complicated Grief - Am I Being Redundant?
Episode 29C-PTSD and Complicated Grief - Am I Being Redundant?June 20, 2021Today’s episode is about what I call Complicated Grief. Let me say this about complicated grief, it’s complicate and it’s that simple. The past couple of weeks have I have been submerged into a pool of depression with little energy and zero motivation. My mind, of course has been plenty active and I began to think about the depth of the depression I was feeling felt like more than simply depression and I reached the conclusion that I must be experiencing a very complicated grief. There were certainly plenty of losses, both personal and professional, so why not. I discovered that the DSM 5 has identified what it calls Pervasive Grief Disorder or PGD. In this week’s episode I review the criteria for PGD at it applies to my fucked-up life. I also look to figure out what is keeping me from moving past the pervasive grief and into a healing state. This means I must be stuck somewhere in the 5 Stages of Grief and by the end of today’s episode, I figure it out. As always, I want to give you more than just my opinion about what is going on and what to do about it. Here are some websites I found to be informative and helpful to making my point about Complicated Grief. It’s a real thing and I believe that people with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress also experience this type of grief. The problem is that we cycle through the grief, over and over and over again until we simply cannot do it any longer. This is where I am at. Thank you for being here. The Columbia Center for Complicated Grief does a nice job of describing why they exist. It’s a short read, but it could really open your eyes.The Columbia Center for Complicated GriefI’ve shared other articles posted by This article gives you an overview of the grieving process and can help you get started with understanding your own grief history and its impact.The Five Stages of Grief ( has compiled a list of 33 statistics what will, undoubtedly blow your mind. Check it out.33 Important Depression Statistics to Be Aware of in 2021 ( I talk about smelt fishing in this week’s episode, this video is for the uninitiated. It is hugely entertaining. Which is why so many people go smelt dipping. Plus, the little buggers are delicious with some French fries and a nice cold beer.SMELT FISHING in Lake Superior (HUGE NETS FULL) - Bing video
25:26 6/21/21
Episode 28: C-PTSD and Recovering from COVID - You seriously do not want to get this virus.
Episode 28C-PTSD and Recovering from COVIDYou seriously do not want to get this virus.June 2, 2021Well, it now appears I am not just under the influence of COVID-19. I am clinically depressed. Isn’t that just peachy? So, I thought it would be helpful to add some information about depression just in case the pandemic has also given you the blues.  You may want to go back and listen to Episode 15: C-PTSD and Depression. There is some good stuff about depression in that podcast.Gary Gilmour wrote a nice piece for Psychology Today. He is Vice-President of Preclinical Research at COMPASS Pathways. Check it out.What Goes On in the Brain of a Person with Depression | Psychology TodayThe Psychiatrist-In-Chief in the Department of Psychiatry of Massachusetts General Research Institute, Maurizio Fava, MD has written on the rise of depression during the COVID-19 pandemic.Depression on the Rise During COVID-19 ( Mayo Clinic has posted an article on COVID – 19 and Your Mental Health. This is an article you may want to take seriously.COVID-19 and your mental health - Mayo ClinicArash Emamzadeh, administered the UCLA Loneliness Scale-3, a measure of loneliness, and the Patient Health Questionnaire-9 (PHQ-9), a screening tool for depression, to 1,013 people from 50 U.S. states.  Here’s what he learned. COVID-19 Pandemic: Loneliness, Depression, and Suicide | Psychology Today
25:25 6/3/21
Episode 27: C-PTSD and COVID -19 Part II - Buckle Your Seatbelt
Episode 27CPTSD and COVID -19 Part IIBuckle Your SeatbeltMay 24, 2021I’ve been sick for the better part of the last 10 days and today I am telling you all the nitty-gritty details. What was I sick with? It turned out to be COVID-19. It has been a hell of a week and I am grateful to be feeling 10,000% better today.Besides being sick, I was given permission to read a letter from a new listener and I am introducing a new Sponsor; Out of My Mind Art at Out of My Mind Art is known for it’s Magic Wands and Twisted Wire Novelties. Check them out. 100% of the proceeds go to the support of the arts.Here are some websites that help give more focus to today’s topic.Melanie Greenberg Ph.D. published an article in Psychology today which looks at Post-Traumatic Growth. What on earth is that?Post-Traumatic Growth During a Pandemic: Is That a Thing? | Psychology TodayI stumbled upon an article by Stephanie Foo. I didn’t know about her before I read her article, but I know about her now. I heartily share her perspective as a person with C-PTSD who is also leaning into the wind in these COVID times.Stephanie Foo is a writer and a journalist working on a book on what it’s like to recover from complex PTSD. She has worked as a producer at This American Life and Snap Judgment, and her stories have aired on shows like Reply All, Radiolab, and 99% Invisible. She is also a 2019-2020 Rosalynn Carter Mental Health Fellow.Coronavirus mental health: Why having PTSD feels like a superpower right now for some - VoxHuffington Post has a really interesting article which could help you to discover if the pandemic has traumatized you. Gets you to look at a lot of key factors of PTSD.7 Red Flags You're Experiencing Trauma From The COVID-19 Pandemic | HuffPost LifeMedical News Today has a detailed article on the impact of what they are calling: COVID-19 anxiety syndrome. This is a very reliable source for sound medical information.What is COVID-19 anxiety syndrome? (
29:17 5/25/21
Episode 26: C-PTSD and COVID-19 I’m Fully Vaccinated-Now What?
Episode 26C-PTSD and COVID-19I’m Fully Vaccinated-Now What?May 13, 2021In this week’s episode I talk about how the pandemic has impacted me and what role did Complex-Post Traumatic Stress play in how I am managing my experience with COVID-19. For me, I take it one day at a time and on occasion, I take it one hour at a time or one minute at a time. For me the key is to be mindful and if you forget, that’s alright you can always return to being mindful any time you realize you were not being mindful. Chew on that for a minute. While you are chewing on that last comment, here are some websites I found that may contribute to the discussion. Thank you for listening to Out of My Mind in Costa Rica – Living with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress.This is a very vivid personal account of Jackie Armstrong, a woman with Complex PTSD and how COVID-19 impacted her life. Her story is very powerful.How the COVID-19 Pandemic Is Triggering My Complex PTSD ( This is a nice article published in the Medical News Today newsletter. It gives a brief overview of PTSD, pinpoints the specific things you can do if the pandemic is impacting you or someone you love who has PTSD.PTSD and coronavirus (COVID-19): Symptoms and how to cope ( COVID-19 affects us in many ways, one of the ways is by traumatizing people. Here’s an article by  William A. Haseltine Ph.D. published in Psychology Today. COVID-19 Traumatic Stress Disorder | Psychology TodayThe Effects of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Pandemic on PTSD is a no nonsense article from the US Department of Veteran Affairs. Lots of good stuff here.Effects of the Coronavirus (COVID-19) Pandemic on PTSD - PTSD: National Center for PTSD ( Feel free to email me about any of these articles. I am happy to talk with you about 
25:13 5/13/21
Episode 25: C-PTSD and Baby Steps - Am I Feeling Better or Is It Prozac?
Episode 25C-PTSD and Baby StepsAm I Feeling Better or Is It Prozac?April 29, 2021 In this episode, I am talking about feeling better on a more consistent way. This enhancement in my mood also corresponds to the window of effectiveness for Fluoxetine which is better known as Prozac. It doesn’t matter to me because the experience of feeling better is motivating regardless of it’s source. My role is to build on that emotional and cognitive shift taking place into a better world for myself and for the people I love and care about.I am taking Prozac, which is classified as a Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibiter or an SSRI. This class of anti-depressant has been shown to be just as effective in treating depression as psychotherapy. There are currently 15 different name brands of SSRIs using six fundamental compounds. For more information click on any of the links below.Lexapro (escitalopram),  Zoloft (sertraline), Prozac (fluoxetine), Paxil (paroxetine), Celexa (citalopram), Luvox (fluvoxamine), Paxil CR (paroxetine), Brisdelle (paroxetine), Sarafem (fluoxetine), Luvox CR (fluvoxamine), Prozac Weekly (fluoxetine), Pexeva (paroxetine), Selfemra (fluoxetine), and Rapiflux (fluoxetine).In the Costa Rican healthcare system, I was given the choice of Prozac, Prozac or Prozac. So, I chose Prozac.Dr. Arielle Schwarts has been writing about the journey of healing from Complex-PTSD for years. Healing Complex PTSD and Dissociation | Dr. Arielle Schwartz ( is the official government site on PTSD. I have given you the link to their information on Complex-PTSD.Complex PTSD - PTSD: National Center for PTSD ( have given you this resource before. It’s an oldie, but a goodie.Complex PTSD Healing | CPTSDfoundation.orgThrive After Abuse has a YouTube Channel and they are doing their part in helping people with Complex-PTSD. Healing from Complex PTSD: Relaxation and Affirmation Video - YouTube
28:03 5/4/21
Episode 24: C-PTSD and Anger - The Ugly Underbelly of Complex PTSD
Episode 24C-PTSD and AngerThe Ugly Underbelly of Complex PTSDApril 22, 2021Today I am talking about anger and if you have C-PTSD, then you know anger. It’s not that you feel angry, but more that you look beneath your anger to the vulnerable parts of yourself. Today I try to give you an idea of the roots of my anger and the impact of growing up within an incest family. There is surprisingly little written on the relationship between C-PTSD or PTSD and anger, even though angry outbursts are part of the diagnosis. I find that only a little bit odd. Well, here are some websites that may help you with your own concerns or you are concerned about a loved one. Regardless, check these sites out. Maybe you will find them useful.It’s good to know what your footprint is when you are triggered. Do you fight? Do you flee? Or Do you freeze or fawn? We tend to be in one of these categories.Trauma Responses : Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn? ( Walker is a guy I have stumbled upon who has built up a very nice library of articles, books, audiobooks focused on Complex Post-Traumatic Stress. I highly recommend you check him out.More and more traumatology pundits list attachment disorder as one of the key symptoms of Complex PTSD (’s Pete’s website.Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy (’s an organization I have just begun a relationship with. Look for my articles on their blog page coming soon.CPTSD FoundationThere are 3 types of anger associated with Post-Traumatic Stress. Roland Bal suggests an interesting  approach to taming the anger within you. Learn more about this by clicking on the link below.Complex PTSD and Anger: Looking at The 3 Types ( 
34:32 4/22/21
Episode 23: C-PTSD and Perseverance
Episode 23  C-PTSD and PerseveranceKeep on Truckin’April 15, 2021Today’s focus is perseverance, something I believe many of you will relate to. I bring this up this week because the road has been a bit difficult to traverse over the past few weeks. I believe I am coming out the other side of darkness, thanks to my persistent perseverance. I am sure you have done your fair share of persevering which will make today’s episode of Out of My Mind in Costa Rica particularly interesting. Come on in. Give it a listen.Here are a few websites that may or may not be aligned with today’s topic, but you will find they all have really good information for you regardless of where you sit in your recovery. Everyone knows the story of Sisyphus, but do they? Here’s a short video that will familiarize yourself with this Greek deceiver of the Gods.Sisyphus: The Man Who Deceived the Gods - Greek Mythology Stories - See U in History - Bing videoThis a one of the most influential books I have ever read. When you heal the shame that binds you, you heal yourself for life.Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw (’s a fantastic article. Be ready for a big read. There is lots of information here that may need to be absorbed bit-by-bit. Thank you Eggshell Therapy and Coaching for your work.Toxic Family Dynamics and Complex PTSD (C-PTSD) | Eggshell Therapy and CoachingHere is one woman’s journey to healing her Complex Post-Traumatic Stress. Her story is a good jumping off place for those of you seeking alternative healing practices. She achieves remarkable results.Complex PTSD: How I'm Recovering My Ability to Self-Regulate (
28:04 4/15/21
Episode 22: What's Going On? - Emotional Overwhelm
Episode 22What’s Going On?Emotional OverwhelmApril 8, 2021Today’s episode is no more than a brief explanation about why I have been MIA the past couple of weeks. I know there may be a few of you who may be concerned, and I want to set you mind at ease. Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy to give you any resource links this week, but if my plan goes well, I will be back next week with a full-length episode for your listening pleasure.Thank you for your ongoing support and understanding.Ray
03:46 4/8/21
Episode 21: C-PTSD and More Grief - And The Grief Goes On
Episode 22C-PTSD and More GriefAnd the Grief Goes OnMarch 25, 2021Yeah, the grief continued all through this week. Remember last week when I talked about grief has no time restrictions? Well, last week really proved this to be true. Last week’s episode I focused on the 5 Stages of Grief and how you too will go through these stages, even if it is for the loss of your favorite fountain pen. This week was more like surviving the grief and I tell you all about it in this week’s episode. I took some bold moves to combat the ongoing and what seems like everlasting grief this week. I had pretty good results as evidenced by the fact that I actually was able to produce an episode this week.As usual, here are some websites that offer more information about grieving when you have Complex Post Traumatic Stress.An Evolutionary Framework for Understanding Grief by Randolph M. Nesse. This is an academic projects and packs a lot of punch. If you have an insatiable thirst for knowledge then this article may interest you.’s a brief article on accessing your need to grieve those childhood losses that so many people with Complex Post-Traumatic Stress experience.’s a series of relative articles that are much easier on the brain that the more scholastic articles I am sharing this week. I hope you like them. just discovered Pete Walker as I prepared this week’s podcast. He has been through it all and has lived to talk about it. Not only that, but he has also dedicated his professional career to helping people with Complex PTSD. My hat’s off to you, Pete Walker.
24:35 3/25/21
Episode 20: C-PTSD and Grief - The Unrelenting Shadow of Complex Trauma
Episode 20C-PTSD and GriefGrief-The Unrelenting Shadow of Complex TraumaMarch 18, 2021Elisabeth Kübler-Ross brought clarity to the grief process when she identified the 5-Stages of Grief. Regardless of the culture, all grieving people experience these 5 stages. Grief applies not only to human losses, but inanimate objects as well. Let me illustrate how I grieved the loss of my favorite ink pen. It’s not just any pen, it was a perfect pen. I paid a lot of money for that pen and I had that pen for many years. It was more than just a pen. Do you get the idea? I am really attached to this pen. Keep that in mind because people tend to get extremely attached to people. Whether it’s people or pens the stages of grief are there.Stage 1: Denial: “Where the hell is my pen? I can’t believe it’s not here. I always know where that pen is.” This is denial. “The pen can’t be gone, it’s still here, somewhere. Denial gives a little cushion against the pain of our loss and opens the door to anger.Stage 2: Anger: “Damnit! Where is that pen? I hate it when I can’t find my pen. I am such an idiot. This really pisses me off!” Here we have anger. Anger at the pen for being lost and anger with myself for losing it. This begins an effort to bargain the loss back.Stage 3: Bargaining: “I know it has to be around here someplace. Maybe it’s in the kitchen. Is it in my coat pocket?” This is bargaining, with the hope that the loss suddenly shows up. This is fueled by fear that the loss is real. When we can’t bargain the loss back then depression sets in.Stage 4: Depression: Eventually, I realize my pen is really gone, and I become sad and depressed. “I really miss that pen. It was a really good pen. I feel really bad about losing it.” This is the beginning of letting go and I am preparing myself to accept the loss.Stage 5: Acceptance: Which brings me to acceptance. This is where all of the pieces of my grief come together and opens me up to life again. In this case, life without my favorite pen. “Today, I’ll buy a new pen.”The 5 Stages of Grief are a real thing. Test yourself with them. What have you been able to successfully grieve and what are you still struggling with? Perhaps a loss so personal, that it has been impossible to look at until now. Now is the time to grieve. Be proactive and when you find yourself dealing with loss, then remember these five stages of grief. If you nurture yourself through your own grief process, then your load will be lighter, and you won’t keep getting stuck in the past with a bucket full of unresolved grief. Here is a brief article that talk directly to grief and Complex PTSD. There are also more resources in the body of the article.’s an article that asks 5 questions related to Complex-PTSD and grief. There is some real good information tucked into a short article. is a great article if not a bit wordy. Stay with it and you will gain a lot of insight as well as some good practices to explore if you want to go deeper into your grief.
28:02 3/18/21
Episode 19: C-PTSD and Communication - Good Communication Communicates
Episode 19C-PTSD and CommunicationGood Communication CommunicatesMarch 11, 2021Would you like to improve your communication? Here are Four simple steps that will make an immediate impact. Implement these strategies into your repertoire and life will get better.Stay in your own lane. You can’t speak for the other person. You can only speak to your own needs, your own wants, and your own desires. Keep in mind that it the responsibility of the speaker to be clear, and it is the responsibility of the listener to listen.Practice self-soothing. Use your breath to help you regain clarity in your message. Breathe deeply and slowly. In addition, know exactly, what you want to say. It must be clear in your mind before you can convey it clearly to another person.Use what they call an “I message.” This is a way of talking to your loved one, your boss, your child or pretty much anyone. It is easy to do and extremely effective. It helps you to stay on your side of the road. (#1)I Messages have two “I’s” in them. Like your head has two eyes. It is basically a three-step process.Step 1   State how you are feeling.  1.      I feel sad …2.      I feel happy …3.      I feel anxious …Step 2   State the experience. 1.      when I am not included in your plans.2.      when I see your smiling face.3.      when I get no response from you.Step 3 Together they go like this.1.      I feel sad when I am not included in your plans.2.      I feel happy when I see your smiling face.3.      I feel anxious when there is no response from you.           Repeat step 1, 2 and 3 as often as you need to.Stonewalling turned out to be the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. The moment I realized I have been stonewalled for years, I realized that the jig was up and I had only one choice left. cannot stress enough the role that Attachment Styles and Communication come into play when it comes to healthy relationships. Here are a couple of sites that take a closer look at attachment theory and how people with C-PTSD have less social support. Draghici, MS, LCPC, from has come up with 20 things NOT to say to people with PTSD. E-Counseling is an online mental health resource for people seeking support, advice and a connection to a licensed counselor.
35:00 3/12/21
Episode 18: C-PTSD and Cannabis
Episode 18C-PTSD and CannabisDon’t Bogart that Joint My FriendMarch 4, 2021Today I am going to share with you my 50+ year love affair with cannabis. I first began smoking cannabis in January 1970 and I never looked back. Beginning as freshman at Western Michigan and continuing through today. I have never tired of the experience of being under its influence. So, you might ask, “Why are you not smoking for the month of March?” I don’t have a big answer to that. It just seemed like a good thing to do at the time. Today is Day 4 of this cleansing which includes alcohol as well. I just wanted to see what would happen when I stop smoking and drinking for a month. I will keep you informed about my progress. Meanwhile, here are some websites that hopefully will expand you understanding of the impact of cannabis not just on me, but on society as well. I support the legalization of cannabis as well as the decriminalization of all recreational drugs. The war on drugs has reaped havoc on our society and disproportionately punished tens of thousands of innocent people who were simply trying to get through the day. Thanks for coming by and I hope you enjoy today’s episode.Let’s start off with an article that was published in High Times magazine. To no surprise this article is leaning towards the benefits of cannabis for those who’s lives are in turmoil due to PTSD and Complex PTSD.’s the Wikipedia article for Cannabis Use and Trauma. There are many affiliated links available on this web page for further exploration of the relationship between cannabis and trauma. the Canadian publication The Conversation, they report on the positive impact that cannabis use has on people diagnosed with PTSD. Canada could soon be a leader in the research for the impact of cannabis on Complex PTSD as well.’s an article from Psychology Today that points out a phenomenon that occurs with frequent use has on the brain and our natural occurring cannabinoid receptors in our brains. This was something I didn’t know about. It’s a very interesting read.
23:14 3/4/21
Episode 17: C-PTSD and Co-Dependency - Boundaries and Limits, Limits and Boundaries
Episode 17C-PTSD and Co-DependencyBoundaries and Limits, Limits and BoundariesFebruary 25, 2021Today I do my best to stay focused on my life as a Super Co-Dependent. I was born into co-dependency and literally had no choice but to become incredibly good at being co-dependent. Everybody’s needs were more important than mine. I was fluent in phrases like, “Your wish is my command.” “Happy Wife, Happy Life” and my personal favorite from The Princess Bride, “As You Wish.” Simply put, co-dependency is the process of putting your needs beneath the needs of virtually everyone else on earth. If you are a good co-dependent, this is what you do. It is second nature and while you are slowly giving parts of yourself away you are under the delusion that you are righteous in you deeds. Co-dependents either die co-dependent, or they die knowing they took charge of their life and woke up from the hypnotic trance of co-dependency. They die knowing who they are. Here are some websites that speak to codependency treatment and the healing process. I hope the are helpful. Thank you so much for coming by and giving Out of My Mind in Costa Rica a listen.PsychCentral has a lot of really good information on their website and they spare no details. Detailed is good when it comes to co-dependency. didn’t talk about mindfulness and meditation, but here is a wonderful website where you can get some solid support for the us of mindfulness and meditation.’s a short video from a young clinician, Siobhan whom I thought was wonderful. See for yourself. She provides top notch information in a very adorable way. Direct in South Africa is a luxury treatment facility and I really liked a graph they used in their article on codependency. It’s a great article and the programs look fantastic even though I will never be able to afford their programs. I hope they let me use their graph.
27:08 2/25/21
Episode 16: C-PTSD and Solitude - The Therapeutic Use of Solitude for Survivors of Complex Trauma
Episode 16C-PTSD and SolitudeThe Therapeutic Use of Solitude for Survivors of Complex TraumaFebruary 20, 2021I know, I’m late. I missed my self-imposed deadline, but this week has been quite the week and I tell you all about it this week’s episode. I have been craving solitude for a long time which meant, in my case, I needed to be on my own, completely. I have been on my own since November, last year and I am just now beginning to feel grounded.C-PTSD steals our lives out from under us and we are never given the opportunity to figure out what we want and who we are. This is where solitude comes in. The experience of solitude feeds the heart and soul. Solitude will help anyone, but it is especially powerful in the healing from complex trauma.Find a way to carve out time, just for yourself. Structure it with self-reflection and deep meditative experiences. Feed and care for yourself. Love yourself back to life. Below are some websites that I hope will expand on this week’s theme, The Therapeutic Use of Solitude for Survivors of Complex Trauma.The Crappy Childhood Fairy does a lot of really good work and this is the first article of a series focusing on C-PTSD and Isolations. Whether you read her blog or watch her YouTube channel, you are sure to get some help. article is from The Atlantic and if you like their magazine, you will like this article by Brent Crane. Today published this article by Virginia Thomas Ph.D. focusing on the benefits of solitude. She makes her point by studying teenagers. ultimate in floating on the water. Not a boat, not a raft, not a tube, but a sensory deprivation chamber. This could be worth the investment.
29:47 2/20/21
Episode 15: C-PTSD and Depression - Don't Fight It, Embrace It!
Episode 15C-PTSD and DepressionDon't Fight It. Embrace It!February 11, 2021Today’s episode is about depression, Major Depression to be exact and the role it has played in my life and how it is entwined deeply into the fabric of C-PTSD and PTSD. You can’t have these conditions and not be depressed. I hope today’s podcast helps some of you to ease your load a bit and take steps towards healing. It’s late and I’m tired and it’s good enough.I found had a nice approach to how Major depression is defined and treated. There is a ton of really good information throughout their website. It is definitely worth the effort. you are curious about the workings of Major Depression, Very Well Mind has some good stuff. You would be surprised as to all what is going on in your brain when you have depression.’s the Wikipedia page for the Feeling Good Handbook. This book revolutionized the treatment of depression and anxiety disorder and has been proven to be equally as effective as medication for the treatment of these conditions. finally, here is the straight scoop about suicidality. Here is where you are going to find out how to know if someone you know is having suicidal ideation and what you can do about it. Great information.
29:09 2/11/21
Episode 14: C-PTSD and Self-Love - The Care and Feeding of Your Soul
Episode 14C-PTSD and Self-LoveThe Care and Feeding of Your SoulToday’s episode is about surviving the storm and building a safe harbor for yourself. I provide an update from last week’s episode where I read a heartfelt letter I planned to send to my wife. I also talk about realizing that the problems go much deeper than I anticipated. In addition, the weather has been windy, windy, windy and in order to deal with all of this I have been hunkering down inside and going out only when it is necessary. It makes me edgy.Weekly trips for groceries keep me engaged with the community, but for the most part I have been taking advantage of my solitude. Besides working on this podcast, I am actively trying to understand what happened in my relationship with my wife. I do this with almost no input from her.My wife is more than willing to address the business end of our relationship, but when it comes to the emotional aspects of our marriage, No Way José. She’s out of here. It doesn’t get discussed. Not even a little bit. There are no signs of this changing, so I need to look after myself.I am slowly letting go of my need for reciprocation when it comes to intimacy in my marriage. I am realizing that what I see is what I get. I don’t have to like it and I don’t have to tolerate it, but I need to accept it. This is why I am 95% convinced that the best route for me and probably for her as well is to terminate the marriage. Yeah, that’s a hard thing to say, but I honestly don’t see anything changing, therefore I must make the change that is best for me.Thanks for listening and I hope you appreciate this week’s episode.Here are some websites that I hope will enhance and expand todays focus. Thank you for listening.The experience of Flow is unforgettable. As children we experience it quite frequently in our play, but the magic of flow becomes diluted in adulthood. I encourage all of you to look into this amazing experience. You can find out more when you click on the link. talk about Mindful Eating as a means to greater fulfillment. By intentionally watching what happens to the food that you chew as you chew it. It is a great approach to weight loss. Check it out at this website. is one of many websites that address the problem of narcissism and it addresses it in a clear and understandable way. This website is a very good resource for all things related to health and mental health.
29:27 2/4/21
Episode 13: C-PTSD and Patience - Staying Grounded, Positive and Hopeful
C-PTSD and PatienceStaying Grounded, Positive and HopefulThis week has been a bit up and down, with a lot more down than up. This gives me an opportunity to talk with you about these mood swings and what works for me. In addition to that, I talk about my wife’s response to the letter I wrote last week. You know, the one I read to you. Much of today’s episode is focused on taking care of myself, mainly because that is what I needed to do this week. It wasn’t totally a bummer. I had a surprise visit by a friend who lives in Texas and an encounter with a dear friend of his.So, I didn’t just mope around going, woe is me. No, I did my best to listen to my body and respond in a way that would nurture it. All things considered; I believe I am doing alright. Let me know what you think about my approach to wellness and healing. Here’s a blog post from where it points to the contradictions all of us with C-PTSD experience. Within the article is a focus on switching off your auto pilot and switching on you Self-Awareness. This is a key ingredient to healing.’s a nice synopsis of the three phases of C-PTSD recovery from It is important to be aware of what you are up against and what some of the therapeutic options are. There is a lot of information in a compact article.’s a PDF put together by Jessica VanArsdale, MD, MPH, from Humbolt State University in Northern California. It’s really good summary of what I talk about in today’s episode, plus one or two things I missed., but not least is a wonderful article from the Gottman Institute. You know the place where they study relationships. I’ve checked it out, more than once and it is filled with good stuff and you want all the good stuff you can get., until the next time.Be Courageous. Be Strong and Be Kind.I’ll catch you later,Bye
25:48 1/28/21
Episode 12: C-PTSD and Moving On - Be Here, Be Now. One Day at a Time
Season 1, Episode 12C-PTSD and Moving On – Be Here. Be Now. One Day at a TimeJanuary 21, 2021It is looking more and more like I will be on my own for quite a while. This week I continue to process what is going on in my life. I share my final email to my wife in hopes she will be able to read it with an open heart and mind.We have our 3rd and hopefully final meeting with Migración, Costa Rica´s equivalent to Immigration in the US. We have been working on this since before we moved to Costa Rica in December 2015. It has been a long, strange trip. There is no reason to believe that this meeting will result in my permanent residency and if I so desire, the next step would be to apply for citizenship. I can have dual citizenship here in Costa Rica. That may not be a bad idea. Until then, I am still a Gringo and if he government wanted to boot me, they could.I also talk about Moving On. No, not the political organization, but moving my life beyond the boundaries of my marriage with the knowledge that we are not likely to reunify. That is not the worst thing that could happen. I believe we will make much better friends than we were as lovers. It could turn out to be an incredibly positive thing for both of us.Here are some websites that I hope will enhance your understanding of the material I talked about today. Thanks for coming by. Thanks for listening.There is an article on Jay Polish lays out the dynamics in relationships when C-PTSD is part of the picture. You can read it in the link below. you are thinking about moving to Costa Rica and become a resident, this is where you begin. are a lot of people here who are living full time here, but do not apply for residency. They are perfectly happy with the perpetual tourist method. That means, every 90 days they need to leave the country and return. This is not as hard as it may seem and, in most cases, can be done in as little as an afternoon where you drive to the Costa Rican border with Nicaragua, walk across the border, get your passport stamped and walk back into Costa Rica. It is a bit intimidating as the Nicaragua has armed military personnel everywhere and it can be intimidating. Costa Rica is not in a hurry to discourage these people from living this way. Many of them own property and employ Ticos. It’s a case of you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.Here is a nice article from Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. He gives you some sound advice if you are thinking about staying friends with your ex or your soon-to-be ex. Turns out it is not a good idea for a lot of people and if you have C-PTSD then be very, very careful. Prioritize yourself. Take your time.
20:19 1/21/21
Episode 11: C-PTSD and Relationships - Triggers, Attachment Styles and Deep Dives
C-PTSD and RelationshipsTriggers, Attachment Styles and Deep DivesSeason 1, Episode 11January 14, 2021There has been a lot of C-PTSD anxiety in me this week and as usual I am here to tell you all about it. There is a lot going on in today’s episode, from triggers, more stuff about attachment styles and what I call deep dives. I bring up the idea of Inner Child Work and I wanted to give you a good resource to learn more about it. I’ve gone to them before and I’ll probably go back to them in the future. The CPTSD Foundation is a solid source of science backed healing information and support. They are doing a great job. also talk about Native American Journeying and Shamanic Drumming as one of the many methodologies I have explored. Here is a nice description of the process of a Spiritual Journey. also spend a great deal of time talking about relationship and C-PTSD, my relationships in particular. There is a lot out there on this topic, but here’s a rather good one. you for listening to Out of My Mind in Costa Rica and please come back. Tell others about this podcast. Write me a note at Help me be that soothing voice so many people need. Thank. Until next time.Be Courageous. Be Strong. Be KindI’ll catch you later.
35:04 1/14/21
Episode 10: C-PTSD and Meditation - Calm in a Stormy Sea
Episode 10C-PTSD and MeditationA Foundation to Build UponJanuary 7, 2021Today I want to talk with you about meditation and share some of my experiences with meditation. Yeah, I know, almost everyone I mention meditation to says, “Yeah, I tried that, I couldn’t keep my mind focused.” or “I couldn’t stop thinking, so I quit.” Newbies think they were failing when in actuality, they were just scratching the surface of what meditation is. First of all, meditation is an action, not an outcome. It is the action of non-action. I know that sounds paradoxical, but it is true.There is no right way to meditate and there is no right amount of time or number of times per day standards. Meditation is a contract you enter into with yourself. It is a commitment to spending a small part of your busy day doing nothing and being present.There are thousands of books, videos and podcasts that will instruct you on what Daniel and Michelle Levey call the Fine Art of Relaxation, Concentration and Meditation. They wrote it all down in their book by the same name. Their book is my favorite because it gets to the point and gets you meditating right away. Here’s a link to Goodreads for more information about this book.The Fine Art of Relaxation, Concentration, and MeditationDo you want to know more about meditation? Where it comes from? What traditions have developed? or simply How to meditate? You might want to start with Wikipedia. There you will find a boat load of information spanning a wide range of meditation styles and traditions from throughout history. I dive pretty deep into a trigger event from last Sunday, I thought it would be a good idea to toss out a website that supports getting up close and personal with your trigger process. The more you know about your triggers, the better you will be at resolving the event. Here is an article in Psychology Today by Marcia Reynolds, PsyD. She is the author of two leadership books, The Discomfort Zone and Wander Woman. Check her article out below.
29:23 1/7/21
Episode 9: C-PTSD and 2020 - Endings and New Beginnings
C-PTSD and 2020Out with the Old and in with the NewIt’s New Year’s Eve and the end of 2020. Yeehaa! Today I am looking at endings and beginnings, like everyone else, I am sharing my resolutions for the new year, although I don’t call them resolutions, I call them priorities, because that is what resolutions are.We’ve all been waiting for this day to arrive and it is just like 2020 to go and fuck our New Year’s Eve celebrations. What has the world become. Anyway, for people with PTSD or C-PTSD this time of year usually brings about a lot of anxiety.We know, from experience, that the new year will probably just like the old year. But for a few of us faithful, there is always the possibility of healing.I talk about Attachment Theory and Attachment styles today and if you are in a roller coaster relationship, then maybe, this episode will help nudge you along in a direction that will yield real results. I’m not saying it will be easy. Quite the opposite in fact, healing and change is never easy, so buckle up and hang on, 2020 will likely spill over into 2021 so you had better get your priorities straight.Here is a great website on psych issues overall, but this article give you a quick look at attachment styles and you will be able to get a good idea of where you fit into the models. All you need to do is be honest with yourself.’s a great article on healing from C-PTSD by Dr. Arielle Schwartz. A key component of healing according to her article is it is critical for the survivor to take personal responsibility for their habitual thoughts and actions. It’s straight forward and easily digestible. Give it a read. Wellness Society has published a great handbook for those of you who are suffering from the symptoms of C-PTSD. Your loved ones will benefit from checking it out as well. next time, remember:Be courageous. Be Strong. Be Kind. I’ll catch you later. Bye
28:41 12/31/20
Episode 8: C-PTSD and Christmas - Hope In a Dark, Dark Year
Today, I take on Christmas.  PTSD and C-PTSD have been with me for most of my life, but I didn't know that until about 8 years ago.  This means that most of my holidays have been without the knowledge I have this problem.  I grew up in the 1950's in rural, small town, America where life was simple and neighbors were helpful. The economy was roaring and families everywhere were indulging themselves at this time of year. It was an amazing time and place to grow up in.  Christmas as a child was magical. My parents went all out on the tree as well as what went under the tree. There were mountains of presents. I kid you not. A lot of people my age can relate to this. It was a fantastic time to be a kid.  Life changes when you grow up and for many of my adult years, Christmas was a jolly time, that is if I were in relationship. If I were not in relationship, they were dismal, depressing and painful experiences.  Here we go for another round of holiday festivities, although this year is unique because, many of us never made to Christmas because of COVID-19. My heart goes out to those families who have lost a loved one to this terrible pandemic. It also angers me that our government has failed the people so completely and so ingenuously.   As usual, here are a few websites that may help you take the edge off this holiday season.  The CPTSD Foundation is a wonderful website and I will probably be posting there links here quite often. Here is a cornucopia of ideas to help you take the edge of this holiday season. is a line to one hell of a brave person’s YouTube channel. You need to know that this video shows someone who has taken the road less travelled. I relate so much to what she is saying, even though it is clear that this work takes its toll on her at times. After Bruises is a fantastic organization and they offer great advice for those of us with traumatic stress in our lives. The article below is chock full of helpful hints to make this year a better than you expected year. Courageous, Be Strong, and Be Kind.I'll catch you later.Ray
32:31 12/24/20