Talking About Clothes with Holly Chayes

In this episode, Shehla and I talk about developing her personal style growing up in Pakistan, and the culture shock of shopping for clothes in the US. We discuss the contrast between shopping for clothing designed to fit a standardized set of measurements versus clothing that is custom-made for you and your body and your preferences.   We originally recorded this conversation in 2021, and I'm so excited to share it with you.   We do talk a lot about bodies and sizing in this episode, so if that is something that is sensitive to you, please, please listen with care or listen in next time.   Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast6   And find the full transcript to this episode at https://www.whowearswho.com/being-yourself-with-your-clothes-with-shehla

7/11/23 • 29:14

In this episode, Leah and I talk about your relationship with your clothing and how it changes throughout your life. We discussed the lasting impact small clothing comments can make, and intentionally changing your relationship with your body.   We originally recorded this conversation in 2020, and I'm so excited to share it with you.   We do talk a lot about bodies and sizing and a little bit of clothing body trauma in this episode, so if that's something that is sensitive to you, please, please listen with care, or listen in next time.   Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast6   And find the full transcript to this episode at https://www.whowearswho.com/empower-your-connection-with-your-body-and-your-clothes

6/3/23 • 21:02

In this episode, Jessie and I talk about personal style as a way to feel more confident and powerful in business. Jessie is a past coaching client and was looking for help getting out of a style rut. We discuss how she learned to stop allowing her clothes to hold her back, and how to redefine what successful shopping meant. We also talk about style and clothing as a form of self-care and embracing a love of fashion.   We originally recorded this conversation in 2021, and I'm so excited to share it with you.   We do talk a lot about bodies and sizing in this episode. So if that's something that is sensitive to you, please please listen with care or listen next time.   Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast6   And find the full transcript to this episode at https://www.whowearswho.com/using-style-to-feel-more-confident-and-powerful

3/7/23 • 21:05

In this episode of the podcast, Megan and I talk about navigating fashion and finding your style  as an individual who wears plus-size clothing. We discuss her style preferences, practices and the importance of fashion, as well as diversity in the world of personal style. At the end of this conversation, Megan graciously shares her favorite fashion pieces, which I hope will inspire you to find yours. Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast6 And find the full transcript to this episode at https://www.whowearswho.com/plus-size-style-clothes-as-creative-outlet-clothing-as-every-day-must-have-with-megan-ixim

2/1/23 • 20:47

In this special episode of Talking About Clothes with Holly Chayes, the podcast, I'm speaking with Mallorie Dunn, owner and designer of SmartGlamour, which is an affordable, inclusive, and customizable ethical clothing line for people of all shapes, sizes, heights, ages, identities, and styles. Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast6 And find the full transcript to this episode at https://www.whowearswho.com/an-interview-with-mallorie-dunn-of-smartglamour/

1/19/23 • 49:54

In this season of the podcast, we’re having conversations about our bodies and our clothing. These conversations took place in 2021, and I’m so excited to share them with you!  In this season of the podcast, we talk about all of the ways that our bodies and our clothing interact. From fatphobia to why your clothes never seem to fit and how to find clothes that work for you, personal stories, and so much more. Keep an eye out for full episodes dropping at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast6 

1/11/23 • 03:15

In this conversation I’m speaking with Lolita, who helps people and teams live and act with more deliberate intention.  Our conversation covers: Finding a routine, intentional dressing and putting the effort into dressing for yourself. Having fun and making a statement with your clothes. Remaking clothes and how changing your lens on your life changes your lens on what you wear. Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast5

11/30/20 • 22:27

In this conversation I’m speaking with Janae, a co-host of the So Called Oreos podcast, who has been using this time as a chance to reset and more purposefully bring her values into her wardrobe.  Our conversation covers: Personal transformation and the personal style changes that come with it. Using Covid as a chance to reboot. Embracing clothes that make you feel powerful and remind you of the power you already have. Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast5

11/29/20 • 21:54

In this conversation I’m speaking with Elizabeth, a writer, who spends a lot of her time traveling and dealing with the wardrobe challenges that come with having your wardrobe scattered between countries.  Our conversation covers: The joy of dressing as you wish. Living life more intentionally. Starting to think about your clothes more than ever before. Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast5

11/28/20 • 18:02

In this conversation I’m speaking with Dawn, a former teacher who transitioned into the tech industry, and living in Rhode Island.  Our conversation covers: Consciously working on your style. The importance of routine, and embracing different clothes for different phases of your life. The process of learning that style, clothing and confidence are indeed learnable, just like everything else. Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast5

11/27/20 • 22:57

In this conversation I’m speaking with Courtney, a self-care coach located in New York City, and the host of the More Tarot, Please podcast.   Our conversation covers: Finding confidence with and without makeup. Using the time in quarantine to connect to yourself. Wanting a capsule wardrobe and trying to create one. Being inspired by your grandmother’s style (because they are the best style icons). Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast5

11/26/20 • 18:44

In this conversation I’m speaking with Ellen, a health and wellness coach who, pre-Covid, was working primarily in person.   Our conversation covers  Having a capsule or minimalist wardrobe and finding a “uniform” that works for you. Combating decision fatigue and moving away from having a completely overwhelming wardrobe Plus aspiration versus reality. Capsule wardrobes aren’t always picture perfect.  Just a heads up, this conversation contains some adult language, so if you’re sensitive to that or listening with children, you may want to skip or preview this episode. Find the full season at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast5

11/25/20 • 24:17

In this season of the podcast, we’re having conversations about changes in our wardrobes and lives. These conversations took place at the end of July and beginning of August 2020.  In this season, we talk about: Taking the time and effort to investigate your own style and preferences How stark the difference can be between our aspirations and our reality, even when we achieve the transformation we’ve been desiring And after all the time and effort how sweet the rewards that come along with being courageous enough to change your style are.  Keep an eye out for full episodes dropping at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast5  Talk to you then.

11/20/20 • 03:15

In this conversation we talk about identity crises, buying second hand, and high end bargain hunting, the masks we can put on when we choose our clothing, looking good versus feeling good in your clothes, and noticing how other people respond to how you dress.  Find more at https://www.whowearswho.com/podcast4/

9/4/20 • 19:55

In this conversation we talk about loving shopping, shopping as part of your weekly routine and a way to carve out time for yourself, the power in having the items in your closet that you know you always get compliments on and the feeling of endless possibilities that come with new items. Plus there is a ton of fantastic sisterly banter.  Find more at https://www.whowearswho.com/podcast4/

9/3/20 • 18:57

In this conversation we talk about appreciating garments without feeling the need to obtain them, developing your own POV and your own style, online shopping and how to solve the issue of finding clothes that fit online, and the understanding that if a piece of clothing you’ve had your eye on is gone, something else will come along. Find more at https://www.whowearswho.com/podcast4/

9/3/20 • 21:51

In this conversation we talk about  impulse buys, investment pieces, and trends, not buying yourself clothes and then having nothing to wear when you need it, finding the balance between professional and personal in your wardrobe, and giving yourself a pause to cut down on impulse purchases.  Find more at https://www.whowearswho.com/podcast4/

9/2/20 • 14:49

In this conversation we cover optimistic purchases, the trouble with not knowing what you don’t know, splitting your shopping between majority thrifting and minority high end, and the contrasting experiences between shopping in high end shops and thrifting.  Find more at https://www.whowearswho.com/podcast4/

9/2/20 • 16:36

In this conversation we talk about changing your shopping mindset and how that influences your shopping experience, trying on anything that catches your eye, rather than pre-judging things (it caught your eye for a reason), going with shops and designers who design intentionally for larger sizes, and the pros and cons being picky when it comes to your clothing choices. Find more at https://www.whowearswho.com/podcast4/

9/1/20 • 16:29

In this conversation we talk about keeping quality items regardless of trends, and also going about trying to find those quality clothes and then sticking to what works. Plus the frustration of shopping and not being able to find what you’re looking for, and how big life transitions and body changes affect the experience of shopping. Find more at https://www.whowearswho.com/podcast4/

9/1/20 • 23:56

In this season we're having conversations about shopping in the Pre-Covid-19 version of normality. These conversations took place between the tail end of 2019 and the first months of 2020. We talk about: loving shopping, hating shopping, dreading shopping, and embracing shopping. shopping seasonally, cyclically, weekly, and hardly ever at all bargain hunting, but also the fact that clothing requires resources – of fabric, materials, and labor – and resources cost money, regardless of if we pay the full price. Plus personal stories, tons of laughs, and so much more. Keep an eye out for full seasons dropping at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast4

8/20/20 • 02:31

This is the final episode of season three of Talking About Clothes. In it, I talk about how the hardest part of this whole year-long project was showing up everyday and doing the thing I showed up to do. And also, how after a transformative year (which this year of The Self-Made Wardrobe Project certainly was), there’s no going back to the way things were before. That year changed how I related to my clothes in fundamental ways. Thank you for revisiting this project with me, now I hope you’ll take some time to explore these remarkable Black creators and thinkers working in clothing-related fields. Because Black lives matter. And these creators are doing incredible things. In Style, Handmade Style & Sewing Brittany Diego is a celebrity stylist and fashion consultant. She also hosts the Fashion School Dropout Podcast. Website: https://www.brittanytdiego.com/ Instagram: @brittanydiego Podcast: Fashion School Dropout Stephanie Thomas, the founder and CEO of Cur8able, is a disability fashion stylist, speaker, and consultant. Website: https://cur8able.com/ Podcast: Cur8able the Podcast Instagram: @disabilityfashionstylist Jasika Nicole, is an actress and also makes her entire wardrobe. Website: http://jasikanicole.com/ Instagram: @jasikaistrycurious Marcy Harriell, as she says in her IG bio, is an actor, singer, sewist, and merrymaker. Website: http://www.oonaballoona.com/ Instagram: @marcyharriell Black Girls Sew™ is “committed to making an impact on the lives of women and youth through education in sewing, design and entrepreneurship.” Instagram: @blackgirlssew In Clothing Sustainability Dominique Drakeford, Founder of MelaninASS, and Co-Founder of Sustainable Brooklyn. In her own words, she “work[s] at the intersections of sustainability and style to heal our relationship to the Earth and spark equitable change for economic wellbeing.” Website: https://www.dominiquedrakeford.com/ Instagram: @dominiquedrakeford Aja Barber is a a writer and fashion consultant focusing on race, intersectional feminism, and fashion. Instagram: @ajabarber Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AjaBarber In Fashion & History Cheyney McKnight, founder and owner of Not Your Momma’s History, is a Historical Interpreter and Living Historian. Website: http://www.notyourmommashistory.com/ Youtube: NotYourMommasHistory Instagram: @NotYourMommasHistory Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/NotYourMommasHistory Dandy Wellington is a bandleader, entertainer, event producer, and creative consultant. #VintageStyleNOTVintageValues Website: https://www.dandywellington.com/ Youtube: Dandy Wellington Instagram: @dandywellington Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dandywellington Additionally: Anti-Racism Training, Resources & People to Follow "Undoing Racism" by The People’s Institute for Survival and Beyond “Race Demystified" by Milagros Phillips Rachel Elizabeth Cargle a public academic, writer, and lecturer. Website: https://www.rachelcargle.com/ Twitter: @rachelcargle Instagram: @rachel.cargle Layla F. Saad is an "author, speaker & teacher on the topics of race, identity, leadership, personal transformation & social change." Website: http://laylafsaad.com/ Instagram: @laylafsaad The Conscious Kid: "Parenting and Education through a Critical Race Lens" Instagram: @theconsciouskid Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theconsciouskid Nupol Kiazolu, President Black Lives Matter Greater NY and Founder/CEO of Vote 2000. Instagram: @nupol_justice Twitter: @nupol_justice A document with dozens of additional resources. This document was compiled by Sarah Sophie Flicker & Alyssa Klein in May 2020: bit.ly/ANTIRACISMRESOURCES     Learn more at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast3

6/15/20 • 16:07

One of the things that I wore pretty much every single day prior to doing this self made wardrobe project was jeans. But at the beginning of this project, when I was building up the number of garments that I had access to (within the parameters of this year long wardrobe project), I focused a lot on wearing and making fast, simple, easy garments - skirts, tops, simple sweaters, etc.  And so I went months without wearing jeans, which, if you'd asked me prior to this project, if that were possible, I would have said no. But it turns out it was entirely possible. Regardless of what I had previously assumed. Learn more at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast3

5/14/20 • 05:53

I know I'm not the only one who makes snap judgments about my clothes. Especially when I first try a garment on that's not my usual cut or silhouette or style. That's what happened with one of the dresses I knit for this self made wardrobe project. It was a one piece hand knit, A-line, very colorful mini dress that was neither my normal colors, nor my normal silhouette nor my normal style, but ended up being one of the pieces that I love the most in this wardrobe and wore quite often and still wear today. So I guess one of the lessons from this dress is to not jump to conclusions about garments before you wear them a couple times. It's easy to forget that our bodies have preferences about what they wear. And often, so not always, those preferences are merely because that's what our bodies are familiar with. It's sort of like if you start working out your body is going to have opinions on it. And the same is true for whatever garment you're talking about. It doesn't have to be high waisted jeans or period corsets or turn of the 20th century undergarments, it's true for anything. If you're not used to wearing a suit, your body is going to take a while to get used to wearing a suit. If you're not used to wearing lounge-wear, your body's going to take a while to get used to wearing lounge-wear. So I think that when something's new, and it has to do with our physically feeling weird in the clothing and you want to play around with the style, maybe give it a couple tries, and see if you get used to it. Learn more at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast3

4/23/20 • 05:08

Like with food, a really good high quality fabric is going to give you incredible results even if your skill level isn't that of master chef or a master couturier. However, you can also make not so good materials work, it just requires a lot more finesse or experiences. This robe is one that I get compliments on every single time I wear it. There are little tiny metallic threads running through it but they're just enough to be interesting and not so much that it becomes gaudy. There are these little novelty squares of plush fabric, glued on to the the chiffon. And it's so sweat inducing because the fabric 100% polyester, (which means that's 100% plastic). But if the breeze picks it up just right, it floats and flutters behind you and looks marvelous. And I'm always astonished when I remember that, this was an impulse fabric purchase that I put together into a robe on a whim and wore about 30 times throughout the course of the year. Learn more at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast3

4/14/20 • 05:01

I'm pretty sure if I had had all of the time in the world, I wouldn't have come up with this dress solution. There's something about a deadline that clarifies exactly what the parameters of the project are, and forces you to meet those requirements. That forces you to meet those requirements, but doesn't allow you to follow any extraneous rabbit holes. There were no "nice to have" details on this dress. The slip was very simple and very straightforward. But it did the job. And I'm not sure I could have asked anything else.   Learn more at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast3

4/8/20 • 04:27

Time seems like a very bizarre concept right now. It has that funny quality of not really being solid anymore and not being something that we can agree on the unit of measuring time by and I'm thinking a lot about time that could be called wasted time. I'm thinking in particular of one long white, plain white skirt that I sewed, intending it to be worn under a knitted dress I had made, because I wanted something more for that dress, and that I only wore a couple times. The skirt probably took a couple hours to make. And I'm wondering if I had known how little I would have worn that skirt and how unnecessary that skirt was, if I would have done something different with those couple hours instead. And I don't know. Because how could I have known that I wouldn't have needed that skirt, if I hadn't had that skirt and not needed it? Learn more at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast3

4/7/20 • 05:22

"Oh, I don't have patience for that." I can't tell you how many times I've been told that while knitting or sewing. But the trick is, you don't knit or sew because you have patience. You have patience because you knit or sew. It's a way of practicing and acquiring something that you don't already have. It's a way of bringing more attentive mindfulness to a moment. And if you practice enough, then you're able to bring that attentiveness to moments when you're not engaging in your craft as well.  Just like any other practice, you don't practice because you're good at something, you practice to get better at it. So it's precisely because I don't have patience for things that I practice paying patient attentiveness to my craft.

4/6/20 • 03:42

Knitting this sweater was a hot mess. It was messy, it was ugly. It involved a lot of cursing and re knitting and reworking and shoving the project into a drawer for a couple days. And in all honesty, if I wasn't in the middle of this year long wardrobe challenge with an already extremely limited wardrobe, I probably would have abandoned this sweater altogether. And yet, a sweater in the end I had. It was messy. It was complicated. It was not fun. It was not funny. It was something I can laugh about now, but the process sucked. But after it was all said and done, but the sweater was fine. In fact, it was fantastic. I still have it in my closet, and I still wear it every winter. When do we give up on a messy process? And when do we keep going because that's the only thing to do? And if we get to the end and have a wearable completed wonderful sweater, how much does the messy process of getting their impact the final result? Because no matter how messy the making process is, if you have a full sweater at the end, you have a full sweater at the end. Regardless of how much cursing it took you to get there. Learn more at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast3

4/3/20 • 06:39

Looking back on this year long project, I'm almost as much amazed by the garments I didn't wear as the garments I wore dozens upon dozens of time. You would think that with a super limited wardrobe I would reach for every garment I could. And yet, I didn't. I realized that this year was not just about taking a pretty outfit photo every day. It was about creating clothes to live the whole year in. While this dress that had a very Audrey Hepburn feel to it in photos, it was not a nice dress to wear, so I didn't wear it. And a garment's use isn't to hang in a closet, it's to be worn So if you're not going to wear an item, why do you have it? Learn more at WhoWearsWho.com/podcast3

4/2/20 • 05:32