Every mom wants to be a good mom but how many times a day do we question this?! We have been conditioned to believe that there are rules for being a good mom but I say your definition is the only one that matters. As a mom with four kids with neurodiversity and a background in education, I believe every child has gifts and talents of genius. I also see life's unexpected trials as chances for us to grow in our strength, love, and connection as a family. Escape from your "bad mom" soundtrack each week to listen in for inspiration on all the mom things, whether neurodiversity is in your family or not. Get the go ahead to have way more fun without guilt, hear new perspectives on old problems, and finally feel like you know what you're doing as a mom.
Coaching vs. Therapy and Why Moms Like Us Benefit from Both
I'm clearing up the differences between traditional counseling or therapy and certified life coaching by sharing with you the times in my life when I have utilized both for different purposes. I also share a recent realizaton I have had with current and former clients about the best format for coaching, and specific results a recent client experienced. And...I am super excited to offer free POWER HOURS of coaching for the month of August, plus a new, perfect-fit monthly coaching offer with 3 sessions of coaching plus a follow-up reflection call, based on feedback from recent clients! Every mom who has been on the fence about coaching but is curious to try it gets the chance this summer! Schedule your free power hour here:https://calendly.com/goodmomcoach/bad-mom-s-power-hourOr, get one of the limited 3-session special coaching offers here:https://calendly.com/goodmomcoach/mom-s-good-life-coaching-monthly-3-sessions-plus-reflection-callEmail me with questions at firstname.lastname@example.org (including former clients who want to come on the podcast and get free coaching!)Visit my website at https://www.goodmomcoach.com
How Being Forced to Rest Can Be a Wonderful Gift
Despite my best efforts to avoid it, I became ill with Covid last week after traveling. I don't know of it was the high fever or just being forced to rest (because my body refused everything except that) but I had some realizations and revelations that really helped me get clear about some big things. I went back a few years and made connections, I reclaimed aspects of myself I want to bring back out, and I made decisions about who I am and how I want to show up being the real me. I don't wish COVID on anyone but these unexpected benefits of having some forced downtime with myself have been soooo good. I hope you can gain these same benefits by taking intentional time for yourself and just allowing your thoughts to reveal to you what matters most. Email me if this episode resonated with you. I'd love to hear what helped you most! My email is email@example.com
My Top 3 Mistakes as a Mom
Reflecting this week on mistakes I made and sometimes still make. I used to think these were about being a mom. I used to connect these to my mom identity by making them mean something about that aspect of me, but I have a new awareness now that these are about my own past pain and the healing I am doing. Mistakes are not bad, mamas. They have message for us and a purpose and we get to frame them in the way that serves us best. We can keep going and know that we will keep making mistakes - and that is OK.
Talking to Tweens & Teens About Sexual Consent with Christy Keating, The Heartful Parent
Special Guest Episode: Christy Keating from The Heartful Parent joins me this week for an informative and open conversation about the who, what, when, and why our tweens and teens need to hear about sexual consent from us. If you've avoided talking to your tweens or teens about sex, this episode will give you some facts and encouragement, plus an easy-to-follow guideline and suggestions for exactly how to actually have the convo. Christy is a Certified Parent Coach®, a Certified Positive Discipline Educator, and a Certified Instructor with The Gottman Institute. She is also a long-time leader and speaker for the Program for Early Parent Support. In addition, Christy is a licensed attorney and former prosecutor of 20 years with expertise in the prosecution of sexually violent predators, as well as an active member of the National Coalition to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse and Exploitation. Through The Heartful Parent’s sister company, Savvy Parents Safe Kids, Christy offers child safety workshops, presentations, and consulting to both parents and professionals. In this episode Christy shares the OMEGAS of Consent, a thorough guideline she created to help parents and kids understand consent completely so they can stay safe, build emotionally healthy relationships, and, when they're ready, have positive sexual experiences. Find resources, support, and all the ways to reach out to Christy here:https://www.rainn.org/www.theheartfulparent.comFacebook -https://www.facebook.com/theheartfulparent/Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/theheartfulparent/LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/christy-keating-j-d-a993a3110/
What to Say and What NOT to Say to Your LGBTQ+ Kids
For Pride Month, I want to talk openly about what I've learned as a proud mom of a child in the LGBTQ+ community. First of all, I am learning as I go. I have made some mistakes and caught myself acting from unconscious bias, lack of awareness, fear, and insensitivity, but I've asked questions and I'm continuing to learn more all the time. For the mistakes I've made, I also believe there's one thing we can always do right, no matter what - and that is to accept and love our kids exactly as they are. We can simply believe them without question when they trust us enough to tell us who they really are. We can apologize if we mess up, just like we do when we mess up in other ways as a parent. My hope with this episode is that it provides a safe space for moms who might have a wide range of feelings, worries, and maybe even regrets about how to talk with, (or how they've already talked with) their LGBTQ kids. When we know better we can do better, at any time. An LGBTQ+ resource I have found with multiple links for helpful information is from Dr. Lulu, a pediatrician, parent coach, speaker and author who has inspired me every time I've listened to her speak. The link to Dr. Lulu's resource page is here:https://www.dr-lulu.com/resources
Perspective on Being the Youngest: Comparison, Checking In & Identity
In this episode my third daughter joins the podcast to talk about her perspective growing up as the youngest in our family. She shares a topic that has recently come up for her with her therapist around the topic of comparison, and some of the advantages and disadvantages of being the youngest. We also talk about the importance of checking in with each sibling and honoring their experiences and identity as an individual. We wrap up the episode talking about the unintended impact we can have on our kids when our "bad mom" self-assessments slip out. If you find this episode helpful as a mom, please share with a friend, rate, or review. Thank you!
Mothers' Day 2.0: Being Gracious in Receiving Mode
If you are not feeling awesome about Mother's Day either before, during or after, this episode will help you reflect and possibly shift perspective, if that's what you want. The concept of being ready to be in "receiving mode" is shared, along with a way to get curious and honest about what's really bothering you about thr holiday for celebrating and honoring moms. If you like this episode, I would appreciate if you could scroll down on the main page on your pod platform to the place where you can leave a rating and/or a review. I appreciate you!
Moms Who Changed Their Thinking & It Changed Everything
This episode is a new format! I am reminiscing about the progress of my very first clients. I share about the mom who discovered that her boyfriend was not problem, the mom who learned how to feel her feelings instead of chasing her self-worth by doing tons of things, the mom who stopped trying to buffer and orchestrate her family's relationships, the mom who was toggling between escapism and guilt but struck a balance by creating a safety plan, and moms who gave up control of kids who were using substances but still maintained healthy relationships with their them and themselves in the process. If this sparks your interest in finding out more about coaching with me, check out my website for more info: https://www.goodmomcoach.com
When Reality Sucks: Radically Accept It Anyway
There is a throughline with all the hardest situations we have faced as family. I have noticed it also with moms and families I have coached. It is simple but not easy to do. It's facing reality and radically accepting it. It is not our natural tendency to accept unexpected or painful events, especially as moms - but when we do it's the first step to processing emotions and modeling to our kids how to do the same. Avoiding or resisting a scary reality seems like a safe thing to do but it's the opposite. Face it, accept it and get your power back.
Just Saying No to Diet, Food, and Body Drama
The first half of this episode I share a concept from coaching that I use often but was reminded of at my recent coach mastermind event in Austin, which is "don't believe everything you think," and we also review again how counseling and coaching are different. In the second half I am inviting you into my world around weight loss and weight regain (which has been a recurring theme in my life) and inviting you to go on this final health and fitness journey with me. I am not going on a diet, but instead I am going all in on listening and responding to my body. No more diet, food, or body drama for this mama. Who wants to join me? Reach out with questions at firstname.lastname@example.org.
How to Be Less of a Hot Mess as a Mom
Not all moms relate to being a hot mess, but for those of us who do, I salute you. Seriously, is having our shit together really the goal? In this episode I share some new ways of looking at the "hot mess" persona. Personally, I learned to just own it in myself and actually love this aspect of myself. I love it in other moms too, especially when no one judges it, either outwardly or inwardly. Let's embrace our hot messiness, moms. So much more fun. To learn more about coaching with me: https://www.goodmomcoach.comFollow me on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/goodmomcoachFind me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/goodmomcoach
Rethinking Our Urge to Over-Control
Anxiety and Fear are just indicators for us to take a pause and think "What am I fearing in this situation?" In this episode we take a step back and rethink how controlling others and our own emotions is our natural tendency as moms, but it has negative impacts and a cost to us and our relationships. The most important take-aways: Trust that we can feel negative emotions and be the whole version of ourselves, give equal air time to all the facts, and let our kids see us do this so they can do it for themselves too.
Behavior Translation - Accurately Interpreting the Cause of Behaviors
You've heard me say before that behavior is communication, but what the heck is actually being communicated? In this episode I share 4 ways to more accurately determine the real message or cause for maladaptive behaviors. First, do not assume anything other than the person would not be behaving this way if they could help it. second, drop all old stories about behavior. Both of these actions will help clear space for you to utilize my third suggestion, which is to act like a scientist and be observant and curious as well as do your research on your family member's diagnosis. The 4th is the most underutilized but best chance for accuracy if done correctly: Simply ask them, "What's going on?" Asking from compassion and empathy and genuine concern is something we need to do more often and get more comfortable doing. One thing not to ask: Why did you do that? This question is laced with judgment in most instances and the person being asked, child or adult, will feel compelled to defend, so an accurate answer won't likely be shared. If you like this episode, please download, share, rate or review. Thank you! You can find out more about me and my coaching for moms at https: www.goodmomcoach.com
5 Ways to Connect More Deeply with Your Kids
Connection is soooo important in building healthy, close, and trusting relationships with our kids. If we've missed some opportunities or just want to do better, it's not too late to begin now. In this episode, I give you 5 ways that I've noticed have made a huge difference in connecting more deeply with my kids. Here they are:1. If they reach out for connection, drop what you're doing and accept the offer. You won't regret it later, I promise.2. Notice when they are "acting out" which most people would say is for attention. This may be that they are actually just wanting connection. Consider supporting instead of ignoring.3. Do any activity side by side with them. Whether it's walking, riding bikes, or going for a drive, side by side is a proven strategy that helps us have more open and productive conversations with less confrontation or awkwardness, resulting in better connections.4. Be vulnerable. This is the hardest one but the most important. When we are vulnerable with our kids they don't feel alone. It also gives them permission to be vulnerable too.5. Take genuine interest in their interests or at least in their fascination with their interests. Ask questions with a willingness to accept that they have different interests and that's OK, and let them know that "no topics are off limits in this family." If this episode helps you with connecting with your kids, can you do me a favor and rate and review or share this episode with others? It helps my podcast get out to more moms and I appreciate that!
Interview with My Adult Daughter - Avoiding Upsets, Feeling Emotions, & Permission to Focus on Self
In this episode, I invited my oldest daughter Jenelle to share her reflections of growing up in our often chaotic and stressful home. She shares the role she took on as a "helper" in our family and how although she liked that role at the time she learned later how that role kept her from opening up to share her own emotions out of fear of upsetting me and her dad. She also opens up about sometimes not feeling recognized and how special 1:1 time helped with that. We end this episode on a conversation we shared when she was moving out to go to college that was a turning point for her. As a mom, when I listen back to this episode I feel some painful regrets and you'll notice that I do not acknowledge during this interview where I fell short. While I have had that conversation privately with each of my kids at different times, it is still apparent that we fall back into our patterns and our roles so easily! My hope is that you can see how as moms, being aware of the ways our kids interpret their roles in the family impacts them into adulthood. Taking time to acknowledge each of our kids' unique strengths and needs and making it OK to feel feelings are big takeaways this week. Thank you for listening!
3 Ways to Deal with Uncertainty
On this episode I share three ways that have helped me lately in dealing with uncertainty which produces anxiety and fear. First we have to allow ourselves to actually feel the emotions that are uncomfortable, knowing that we can handle feeling any emotion. Next we can choose which side of the 50/50 of life that we'd like to think will happen in an uncertain future. Lastly we use the strategy of opposites in combination with the thought model to intentionally choose a specific thought that creates the emotion of calm, safe, certain, or self-assured. These emotions in turn will drive actions that produce a result where fear is absent. You can email me at email@example.comVisit my website and RSVP for the next Moms' Zoom Night at https://www.goodmomcoach.comCheck out my IG at https://www.instagram.com/goodmomcoach
Special Time - The One Thing You Can Do to Improve Any Relationship
In our family we have some special things that help us stay close as a family and in our individual relationships. I am sharing one of the things that has always been a "thing" for us. It's called "special time" and I highly recommend you consider trying this one out if any relationships in your family are a little tense. It's simple, doesn't even have to cost anything, and sends a message of love and belonging and connection. XO
Loving People When They are Hard to Love
We're talking about loving some more this week. Loving when it's hard. Loving when others are not being loving toward us. Loving people when they are not being very lovable. It's hard. And, it's possible. It feels way better.
Bringing New Light to Old Stories
Many of you have read my story of hustling for my self-worth on my website, and I have touched on some of the effects of my self-image issues in other podcast episodes. It's something I've wanted to "solve" for decades now, and I decided for 2022 that I would try out a new type of therapy to see if it would make a difference. I am sharing on this episode the therapy I tried and how it's going so far. If you've struggled with self-worth and are curious about hypnotherapy, listen in as I describe my experience with RTT, or Rapid Transformational Therapy. If you want to check out the wonderful coach who guided me through the process, Anke Docherty is her name. You can find out more about RTT and schedule with her at: https://www.ankedocherty.com/
Feeling the Love
Do you think love is the best feeling? Do you think experiencing love is our soul's true purpose? I had an experience when I was around 7 that has me trying to reconcile everything I was taught about love and how it's supposed to work, with the new information I've learned and continue to learn. Going a little deeper than usual on the podcast this week. Here's where to sign up for our next Moms' Zoom Party: https://www.goodmomcoach.com
A Cool Tool for Being Intentional
We wrap up the topic of CLARITY with a tool I learned from an amazing coach, Heather Ross of the Living with Addiction podcast. It is a simple framework for deciding what we want to keep doing, being, or having, and what we want to stop doing, being, or having, and what we want to start doing, being, or having to create the life we desire most. It elegantly points out what we have accomplished and opens us up to choose with intention for the future. I hope you try this one out in your journal. You may be surprised at the clarity it brings for you.
3 New Ways to Clear Up Confusion
For our series on the concept of clarity, I share three strategies that can help clear things right up if we find that we're second-guessing ourselves. There's a simple phrase, a teaching strategy from my classroom days, and an easy-to-remember question.
Clarity. You've Got This.
The second in a series on CLARITY, in this episode we hear 3 awesome definitions of clarity and relate them to our mom-brain. We break down exactly how we can access clarity of thinking ANYTIME we want to, and we call BS on our stories of overwhelm and confusion. To be clear, you've got everything you need now mama.
Getting Clear on What YOU Want
Many of us have lost track of what we really truly enjoy. This denies us the chance to express fully who we are and puts us in a state of confusion instead of clarity. In this episode I share a personal story of getting back in touch with something I used to love to do, and a little journaling exercise for you that can help you get clearer on what YOU enjoy. How we feel is the important part, and getting clear on what makes us feel enjoyment just for the sake of enjoyment is step one. More of this please!
Leaps of Faith and New Plans
Looking for lessons from 2021 can give us clarity and revelations that can be a surprise. I did a journal prompt that helped me this year and I share it with you along with my biggest lesson from my leap of faith. I also have exciting new plans for the podcast and also MOM PARTIES in 2022! Go to my website to sign up for our first one! www.goodmomcoach.com
Anticipation is an emotion that can be super useful to us if we understand how to utiize it best. We can experience ahead of time what we anticipate we will feel, for both wanted emotions and unwanted emotions. I share some examples in this episode to help you utilize anticipation in the most useful ways. Reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org to delve deeper into anticipating emotions or to learn more about coaching with me.
3 Christmas Movies I Love
Sometimes it's the little things that keep us going. I'm keeping it light this week with a short and sweet episode about 3 less-known Christmas movies that are my favorites. I also love the classics, but these are in my opinion just as good and each one evokes some holiday spirit and love. They all have happy endings too, so there's that. I hope if you have not watched these you look them up and give them a watch!
Having Your Child Evaluated by a Specialist
The decision to have your child evaluated for a disability or learning difference can be an emotional one for many moms. In this episode I share from personal experience as a mom and a teacher the top three things to think about: 1) Your emotions and how to process them, because there are some natural fears associated, including the concern about having your child labeled, and also other intense and sometimes unexpected emotions many moms experience. 2) The vast amount of information you will receive and how to process that, and the most important, 3) The purpose of an evaluation and why aligning your values as you go through the process is critical. We also discuss the idea of a holistic lens for seeing brain differences as a common characteristic that we all share as human beings. If you or a mom you know is considering an evaluation for a child who is struggling, feel free to reach out for support by emailing me at email@example.com.
Autism Mom Reflections with Lisa Candera, The Autism Mom Coach
Lisa Candera and I sit down to talk about our similar experiences as moms of tweens and teens who are on the autism spectrum. We mostly just share our thoughts and feelings and experiences that challenged our thinking, especially when our kids' journeys took unexpected turns. We chat about holding it together during the difficult times, reaching out for help, looking at the journey for what it is, and some things that help (and don't) in our experience. Lisa also shares info about her new podcast, Be the Solid Object. You can find Lisa on Instagram @theautismmomcoach and on her website, www.bethesolidobject.com.
Easing Through Holidays or Any Day!
You may notice in this episode that the intro and outro are missing. This is an example of taking the path of least resistance - the app I use to edit my podcast has been updated and the tools I typically use to add the intro and outro tracks in just would not work this morning. So, I let it go. I let it be easy by not adding in the intro and outro. This is one of three ways I share on this podcast for taking the easy route. My examples today are about Thanksgiving, but these three concepts of 'ease' work for any challenging situation. If you want something to be easy, fun, and free of resistance, this episode is for you.