Unlimited

Send me a text!Healing our relationship with attention begins with noticing the ways in which our natural need for attention has been damaged. In a society that commodifies attention and polices who and what is allowed attention, we develop a distorted relationship with a core aspect of how we connect to each other. This disconnection feeds feelings of isolation and loneliness, leaving us vulnerable to systems that exploit our need to feel seen and heard. By addressing the shame around seeking attention and understanding its role in genuine connection, we can start to reclaim our capacity for presence, care, and community in a way that fosters deeper relationships and collective healing.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Cher Hale (she/her), to join me in a conversation about the weaponization of attention and healing our relationship with attention.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:The stigmatization of seeking attentionShifting from unhealthy to intentional attentionIndividualism’s role in loneliness and disconnectionUsing visibility for collective empowermentLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Slow Build to & the Life-Saving Payoff of Asking for AttentionThe Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls by Mona EltahawyLearning Self-Advocacy to Strengthen Collective Action with Jenique JonesSwimmy by Leo LionniHoliday Stress SupportCONNECT WITH CHER:Substack: For the AttentionWebsiteCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the show

12/4/24 • 40:29

Send me a text!Responsive practices to create a supportive relationship with your teen starts with acknowledging your own inner child’s unhealed wounds so that you can create space in yourself to hold space for another. These wounds often become activated when we see them mirrored in our children’s behavior. Unfortunately, the tools we were taught to address these behaviors often perpetuate the very patterns we hope to break. Whether you have teenagers now, are preparing for those years, or are working to shift your own patterns, understanding these dynamics and embracing new practices can help you show up more fully for your kids—and can also be deeply validating for your own healing journey.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Donna Lynne Booher (she/her), to join me in a conversation about engaging Responsive Practices to Create a Supportive Relationship with Your TeenSome of what we talk about in this episode includes:Understanding how to give emotional validationBreaking free from perfectionismDeveloping trust and improving communicationHolding space for your kid’s evolving identityCONNECT WITH DONNA:LinkedInCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the show

11/20/24 • 45:27

Send me a text!Navigating tough conversations with emotional awareness is a critical skill as we are all likely to need to engage difficult dialogues, especially during this time of heightened political and social tensions. These types of conversations can be emotionally taxing, and it's important we approach them with both strong self-awareness and self-care. Our ability to show up authentically, compassionately, and aligned with the change we want to see in the world as we interact with others is directly tied to our own inner work.In this episode of Unlimited, I offer insights and tools for navigating tough conversations with emotional awareness.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Practical tools for tough conversationsEngaging your stress responseTools to check in, support yourself, and make clear decisionsHow to interrupt bigotry to shift normsLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE: Read This to Get Smarter: About Race, Class, Gender, Disability & More By Blair ImaniBlair Imani Instagram on tough conversationsShenikka Moore-Clarke, MSW, LICSW The Healing Vibe Therapist How to avoid sharing election misinformation - NPRUnderstanding Your Stress LanguageStress Release Strategy Guide BOOK A PAY WHAT YOU CAN COACHING SESSION If you found this episode helpful, please share it!You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteFacebookInstagramGet email updatesSchedule a free initial consultSubmit a questionSupport the show

11/6/24 • 37:18

Send me a text!Learning self-advocacy to strengthen collective action is a critical component of sustainable social change. Those of us socialized as women are often conditioned to prioritize supporting others, which can make self-advocacy more difficult. However, by connecting to our own value and values, and speaking up for ourselves even when it’s uncomfortable, we lead by example and inspire others to do the same. Cultivating this sense of self and worth strengthens our resilience, reducing fragility when engaging with diverse perspectives. It also empowers us to lead collaboratively and contribute to collective action, rather than remaining trapped in hierarchical, individualistic, and oppressive ways of being.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Jenique Jones (she/her), Executive Director at WhyHunger, to join me in a conversation around social change through learning self-advocacy to strengthen collective action.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:The impact of how you talk to yourselfAsking questions as advocacy for equityCollaborative vs authoritarian leadershipFood and music as bridges for connectionLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Pressure to Love Your Job with Cristin DownsMicro-Actions to Manifest Big Change with Taina BrownDealing with Impostor SyndromeCONNECT WITH JENIQUE:Website LinkedIn WhyHunger InstagramWhyHunger TikTok CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the show

10/16/24 • 44:53

Send me a text!Embracing periods of reflection, introspection, and processing is a crucial but often overlooked and devalued aspect of personal and societal growth and change. To create real shifts in the world’s imbalances, we must first engage with the internalized patterns and conditioning that hold us back. This self-work not only deepens the impact of our efforts, but also cultivates more intentional, present, and joyful relationships. However, by undervaluing these periods of reflection and recalibration, society continues to perpetuate oppressive systems. If we aim to truly create change, we must honor these cycles of introspection, building the resilience, creativity, and effectiveness needed to dismantle harmful structures and shape the world we want to live in.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore and strive to coalesce my thoughts around the importance of embracing periods of reflection.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Cycles of life and the value of “winter”What we get wrong about routinesSystems of oppression and dominanceBuilding supports to doing something differentLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Micro-Actions to Manifest Big Change with Taina BrownThe Pressure to Love Your Job with Cristin DownsSupporting Changes in Your LifeBlack Liturgies post on InstagramSister Outsider: Essays and Speeches by Audre LordeThis Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of ColorThis Here Flesh by Cole Arthur RileyRustin on NetflixThe National SEED ProjectIf you found this episode helpful, please share it!You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteFacebookInstagramGet email updatesSchedule a free initial consultSubmit a questionSupport the show

10/2/24 • 44:55

Send me a text!Being intentional with when to say yes isn’t just considering yes vs no.  Intentionality also involves how you engage internal resistance to what you say you want to do. There are many reasons you might experience tension and resistance even when you want to do something. First, it could highlight an area that needs clarification or additional discernment. Your subconscious will send you signals when it perceives potential danger including from a values conflict or past experiences. Second, it could be a warning around your capacity. That doesn’t mean don’t do it, but it may mean obtaining additional information and/or support. Remember saying yes isn’t just for giving and doing but also for receiving.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore being intentional with when to say yes and when there’s subsequent resistance around then doing the thing.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Values assessment to identify internal conflictsOvercoming resistance from fearPreventing burnout cycles from misalignmentCapacity and additional agreements to consider when saying yesLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Micro-Actions to Manifest Big Change with Taina BrownHow to Say No Without GuiltClarifying What You WantHow Do I Find What I Really WantDealing with Burnout Beyond the 9-5  If you found this episode helpful, please share it!You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramCONNECT WITH VALERIE: WebsiteFacebook Instagram Get email updatesSchedule a free initial consultSubmit a questionSupport the show

9/18/24 • 31:46

Send me a text!Supporting Changes in your life means reconnecting to your power in your relationship to change. It allows you to transform the patterns that aren’t serving you during the transition period, rather than carrying them with you into a new space. Unfortunately, what often happens is that changes in our life feel in some way like they're imposed upon us, even when they're ones that we choose because the ripple effect of those changes are typically things that we get carried along by, rather than ones we intentionally curate.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore a process for supporting changes in your life with holistic intentionality and without exhausting yourself.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:The power to transform patterns during life transitionsNavigating the cognitive and emotional load involved in life changesHow to manage overwhelm and make aligned decisionsTools to support yourself through changeLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:Reclaim Your Routine Workshop SeriesDealing with Impostor Syndrome (podcast episode)Redefining Our Relationship to Productivity  (podcast episode)Loving Yourself Through Grief  (podcast episode)The Courage to Change (podcast episode)If you found this episode helpful, please share it!You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachvalWant to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you.You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramCONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie! Support the show

9/4/24 • 30:39

Send me a text!Collaborative Leadership from Boardroom to Patient-Centered Caregiving is essential for fostering effective relationships between CEOs and board members, as well as between healthcare professionals and patients. This approach not only enhances organizational dynamics but also improves patient outcomes by prioritizing communication, trust, and shared goals. By empowering all stakeholders and embracing transparency, collaborative leadership creates an environment where diverse perspectives are valued, and innovative solutions can emerge to address complex challenges in healthcare and beyond.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Heather Maurer (she/her) CEO of the National Association of Nurse Practitioners in Women’s Health to join me in a conversation around advancing collaborative leadership from boardroom to patient-centered caregiving.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Listening to yourself, saying no, and respecting your own expertise and roleEmpowerment vs control and collaborative decision-makingBuilding trust through transparency, time, and accountability Separating systems and humans as we advocateWays to support asking for what you need LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Cultivating Collaboration Over CompetitionNavigating Our Relationship with DeathCONNECT WITH HEATHER:Website LinkedInHer Health Matters PodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the show

8/21/24 • 43:24

Send me a text!Micro-actions to manifest big change is key because we can often feel overwhelmed by the changes we want to make in our own life, let alone the change we’d like to see in the world. The best part is micro-actions naturally build on themselves. First and most obviously, they provide momentum as you do the next thing and then the next thing. Second, they teach our brain what to focus on, so we notice more opportunities to access or create what we want. Understanding how our brain relates to our behavior can allow you to take small, totally doable steps that will naturally move you forward.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Taina Brown (she/her) to join me in a conversation around using micro-actions to manifest big change in your life and in the world.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Building momentum to manifest what you wantHacking your brain’s algorithmFeeding abundance vs scarcityIdentifying a micro-action to takeLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: How to Manifest What you WantReclaiming Creativity and Healing Through ArtEmergent Strategy by adrienne maree brownCONNECT WITH TAINA:WebsiteInstagramLinkedInMessy Liberation PodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updatesSupport the show

8/7/24 • 41:33

Send me a text!Realigning your core values requires exploring both what is consciously important to you AND your societal conditioning. Your values, both conscious and subconscious, shape your decisions and motivate our behavior. If you find yourself feeling stuck, drained, or sabotaging what you say you want, it’s likely you have a subconscious values conflict. There are 5 values that I regularly find creating conflict within my high-achieving clients. They are responsibility, reliability, respect, achievement, and discipline. During a period of change, particularly societal change, it is both crucial and powerful to examen these driving forces within yourself. The patterns are more noticeable AND values work can ensure that you are living in alignment with what you want to create in your life and in the world, rather than sliding into reactivity.In this episode of Unlimited, I explore a process for realigning your core values so you can make more intentional choices that honor who you want to be.Some of what I talk about in this episode includes:Differentiating between internalized values and intentional, conscious valuesHow to align your values with your desired way of beingThe values of Responsibility, Reliability, Respect, Achievement, and Discipline.Engaging values to improve the quality and sustainability of your motivationThe updated values of Valerie Friedlander CoachingLINKS REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE: Fearing The Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia Stop Being Nice and Start Being Resilient More Self-Control Is Not Always The AnswerAbout MeShift from Drained to Motivated Free Exploration Session If you found this episode helpful, please share it! You can tag me on social: @unlimitedcoachval Want to share your thoughts or have questions? Send me a message! I love to hear from you. You can email me at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

7/24/24 • 41:44

Send me a text!Navigating our relationship with death is a profound part of our human experience, yet we often avoid talking about it. This avoidance not only prevents us from asking for and receiving care, it also reduces our capacity to provide care. Additionally, we must be able to embrace our mortality (rather than trying to transcend it) in order to fully embrace living this one precious life. Death doulas are a valuable resource for those looking for support around the emotional, practical, and spiritual dynamics of death.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Nikki Smith (she/her) to join me in a conversation around navigating our relationship with death.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:What is a death doulaAllowing space for grieving, whatever that looks like for youEngaging our fear of death to fully embrace lifeHow to find care as you navigate death and griefLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Good Grief with Nikki the Death Doula - Understanding HospiceFor those in Chicago, IL looking for estate planning, check out Emily Rozwadowski Law (reference this podcast for 10% off estate planning documents)CONNECT WITH NIKKI:WebsiteInstagramFacebookLinkedInPodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookGet email updatesSupport the show

7/10/24 • 36:19

Send me a text!“Three Essentials to Maximize Your Experience at an Event” provides a strategy to keep your planning simple and ensure you get the most out of your investment of time, money, and energy.  Some of the obstacles to event ROI include overwhelm, self-doubt, shiny object, peer pressure, FOMO, and other such distractions. Additionally, the so called “mom guilt” is a common struggle for high-achieving women with children at home. With these kinds of challenges, you need something simple to support both strategic pre-event planning and at event discernment.In this episode I explore the 3 essentials to maximize your experience at an event whether it’s a professional conference or personal development retreat.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:Exploring the relationship between your values and the eventPreparing for an event with priorities and boundariesPlanning supports and follow up during and after the eventCreating accountability systemsThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can send me a message through the "text me" link on your listening platform, shootme an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com, or DM me on InstagramLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding (an episode on values, plus “mom guilt”)Shift from Drained to Motivated (an episode on values)Silencing Your Inner CriticHow to Get the Most Value at an Event Workbook (on my resource page)One time coaching sessionExploration callCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

6/26/24 • 30:10

Send me a text!Redefining our relationship to productivity is a necessary component of preventing burnout and cultivating well-being. Our current societal relationship to productivity is built on Industrial Revolution era conception of work ethic. This conception wraps our value into what we can produce, dehumanizing us in the process. In order to rehumanize our relationship to our energy, we must first reclaim our worth separate from external measures of production. Additionally we must learn to tap into our values and honor our capacity as we prioritize our energy usage.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Lisa Zawrotny (she/her) to join me in a conversation about redefining our relationship to productivity to support our mental health and well-being.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:The Industrial Revolution’s influence on how we understand productivityChoosing where to utilize your energy based on your capacityClarifying your values and releasing shouldsThe glorification of overwork and weaponization of urgencyDefining enough for goal setting and knowing YOU are enoughLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Rethinking Empowerment and Releasing ComparisonLoving Yourself Through GriefWhy Work Life Balance is a MythThe Myths Around ProductivityCONNECT WITH LISA:WebsiteInstagram PinterestPodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE:Website Instagram Get email updatesSupport the show

6/12/24 • 41:48

Send me a text! Tending your self-relationship through values & shadow work helps you engages the roots of your motivation and how you live your life.  Our values form the basis of our core motivations. Shadow work helps us acknowledge and heal the wounds that inhibit awareness and access to our full self. While we live in a world full of obstacles to self-expression, this work will always be an ongoing process. By engaging focused value and shadow reflections, we can better align our actions with what really matters most to us, nurture important relationships, and live purposefully.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Erica Courdae (she/her) to join me in a conversation about the practical wisdom that supports tending our self-relationship through values & shadow work.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Exploring values for the foundation of your decisions and relationshipsMaking values actionable and measurable to ensure alignmentValues work is ongoing, non-linear journey than involves seeking into our shadowOvercoming fear and false security to genuinely heal and growLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Cowboy CarterListen to The Unlimited Podcast PlaylistCONNECT WITH ERICA:WebsiteBookFree Shadow Work Mini-CoursePodcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Get email updatesSupport the show

5/29/24 • 48:24

Send me a text!Cultivating collaboration over competition is essential in today's interconnected world. We don't exist in a vacuum; our social understanding and discernment must be engaged collectively. The spaces we inhabit, like social media platforms, exert significant influence on our interactions, sometimes more than our intentions to be collaborative versus competitive. The Religious Society of Friends, commonly known as Quakers, is structured around a corporate discernment process rather than dogma. I’ve found “Quaker process” offers valuable support and guidance for fostering collaboration, emphasizing collective decision-making over individualistic competition.In this episode I share insights from my personal struggles and inspirations around cultivating collaboration over competition in the spaces I occupy.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:Social media influencer soundbitesFinding the answers that aren’t inside you Organizational problem solvingSlowing down and making spaceThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can send me a message through the "text me" link on your listening platform, shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com, or DM me on InstagramLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Reclaiming Creativity and Healing Through Art with Krishna KayasthaThe Atheist’s Guide to Quaker ProcessFriends General Conference (for more on Quakers)CONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie! Support the show

5/15/24 • 46:09

Send me a text!Reclaiming creativity and healing through art is essential because you’re innately creative, even if you’re someone who wouldn’t label yourself as “a creative.” Many of people learn to disconnect from their creativity as children because self-expression doesn’t feel safe, pressure to do art “right” surrounded it with perfectionism, and internalized productivity prioritizing. All of these have an impact on our mental health. This is why reclaiming space for creativity for creativity sake can be integral in a healing journey. Additionally, having space held for you can be healing for access to your authentic expression.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Krishna Kayastha (she/her) to join me in a conversation about reclaiming creativity and healing through art.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Lessons learned through motherhoodReleasing perfectionism and embracing playSupporting your mental health through journalingThe necessity of allowing yourself space LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Artist's WayCONNECT WITH KRISHNA:WebsiteInstagramWeekly Journal PromptsCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookGet email updatesAsk ValerieSupport the show

5/1/24 • 41:56

Send me a text!Foundations for authentic public relations support building solid connections whether you are an organization or individual. The value of truly listening to others, understanding different perspectives and pathways toward a goal, and then following through on what you learn cannot be overstated. These principles of communication and relationship building are critical to create an impact and drive meaningful change in a way that respects all people. Giving the space to engage in a relational process is not easy in the world of urgency and sound bites but it’s necessary for authentically engaging the public.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Catharine Montgomery (she/her) to join me in a conversation about how to set and sustain the foundations for authentic public relations.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:People pleasing vs listening and servingThe importance of follow through to build trustEvaluating your purpose and prioritiesEnsuring alignment with clear expectationsPatience with the info gathering process CONNECT WITH CATHARINE MONTGOMERYWebsiteLinkedInMediumThreadsCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookFree ResourcesGet email updatesSupport the show

4/17/24 • 44:17

Send me a text!Understanding the 5 Love Languages has helped facilitate communication for many people but it has numerous limitations. While the 5 Love Languages has become an extremely popular relationship tool, it’s not a fix-all and it may not be the right approach for everyone. What about this tool makes it helpful and where it falls short can help you determine if and how to apply it in your own life.In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring understanding the 5 Love Languages and how to apply it appropriately in your own life.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:What are the 5 Love LanguagesLimitations of the 5 Love Languages modelLearning what you need and communicating itReflections to support self-loveTips to use the 5 Love Languages modelThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:5 Love Languages WebsiteThe 5 Love Languages BookIs There Science Behind the 5 Love LanguagesBuilding a Relationship to Pleasure and Intimacy with Daniela StevensUnderstanding Your Stress LanguageStress Language QuizHS Emotion Wheels & Needs WheelsAsk Val FormCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

4/3/24 • 31:24

Send me a text!Building a relationship to pleasure and intimacy takes a lot of intention in this society that still treats talking about sex as taboo. So many people struggle with intimacy due to lack of communication, trauma, and societal conditioning to disconnect from their bodies and desires. Improving intimacy requires us to unlearn harmful norms and relearn our embodied self. Tools like love languages and embodied practices can help us engage in conscious communication with partners. It helps to create a safe container to explore these sensitive topics compassionately, gain perspective on cultivating more fulfilling relationships.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Daniela Stevens (she/they) to join me in a conversation about how to meet yourself where you’re at as you build a relationship to pleasure and intimacy.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Breaking the rules we assume in romantic relationshipsLearning to love yourself and listen to your bodyShifting from goals to intentions in sexThe pressure to perform and recovering from ways we disconnectLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:How to Create Belonging with Amena Chaudhry2017 Medium Article - Why Men Keep Demanding Sex from their Partners Over and OverMonsters In Love: Why Your Partner Sometimes Drives You Crazy—And What You Can Do About It by Resmaa MenakemCONNECT WITH DANIELA STEVENSWebsiteInstagramFree Gift for deeper sexual connectionCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookFree ResourcesGet email updatesSupport the show

3/20/24 • 49:30

Send me a text!Creating healthy relationships in all areas of our life is the focus of this season of Unlimited. A relationship is how we relate to another person, place, thing, or even concept. How we relate to ourselves is at the core of how we relate to others. Yet, how we understand and relate to ourselves is also built from those external relationships. Unfortunately, most of us haven’t been taught how to cultivate healthy relationships let alone experienced examples of them. In many cases we need to first unlearn harmful ways of relating before we can learn healing ways of relating. First, we’ll lay a foundation of understanding healthy and unhealthy relating. Then, over the next several months, we’ll explore how it applies to all areas of our life.In this episode of Unlimited, I’m kicking off the focus of season 4 by setting a foundation for creating healthy relationships.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:Understanding relationships beyond the interpersonalQualities of healthy relationships like trust, honesty, communication, and self-awarenessRelationship red flags like control, disrespect, imbalances, and hurtful languageBuilding self-trust and growing through conflictWhat to expect in Season 4 of UnlimitedLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Signs of a Healthy Relationship Tips for Building a Stronger Relationship Ask a question or share a topic for the podcastApply to be coached on the podcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updatesSupport the show

3/6/24 • 28:31

Send me a text!Discover valuable New Year transition tips in this Season 3 wrap-up for the Unlimited Podcast. The period between one cycle and the next is a great time to reflect both on where you’ve been and where you’re going. It’s important to create supportive space to engage and focus that reflection. You can set that foundation through honoring your humanity and connecting to what’s really important to you. Celebrating helps you acknowledge yourself even in the small spaces we too often overlook. From there you can create the next phase of your life.  In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into a season 3 wrap-up and new year transition tips to help you maximize the time between this cycle and the next.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:Review of Season ThreeWhat’s coming in Season FourCreating aligned focus in the new year (If you want to skip the recap, the tips start about 15 mins in)Supports for you in 2024Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Setting Healthy BoundariesHow to Say No Without GuiltWhat to Do When You’ve Fallen BehindA Simple Way to End the Year Strong – Seeds For Growth PresentationThe Unlimited Podcast MixRest is Resistance – A Manifesto by Tricia HerseyYou're More Than Your Personality TestEnergy Leadership Index Assessment Ask a question or share a topic for the podcastApply to be coached on the podcastCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Free Resources Get email updatesSupport the show

12/27/23 • 37:21

Send me a text!Aligning with your astrology is a way to explore what works for you. From new year plans to parenting, it’s one thing to recognize that there’s no one size fits all, but it can be hard to step outside the norms without some kind of framework to work from. Not to mention, it’s even harder to think outside the box when you’re already exhausted from trying to function within the normalized systems that aren’t working for you. Astrology is a tool that can help you explore other ways to look at challenges and maximize opportunities both in preparing for the year ahead as well as looking at dynamics in your relationships with kids and parents.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Babs Cheung to join me in a conversation about how to align with your astrology as you plan for a new year.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Calendar year vs Fiscal yearUnderstanding your cosmic flowAstrology as a parenting toolCycles in your life and generational patterns LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Astro.comCafé AstrologyCafé Astrology 2024 EphemerisThe Myth of NormalCONNECT WITH BABS CHEUNG: WebsiteInstagram LinkedInDiscovery Quiz CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram FacebookFree ResourcesGet email updates! Support the show

12/13/23 • 45:45

Send me a text!Accessing the true power of gratitude requires going beyond the individual mindset approach that is typically referenced. Expressions of gratitude have been observed among many communally based species. It supports group functioning. Thus, the true power of gratitude is in collective connection, not individual mindset. Studies show that there are a plethora of benefits to gratitude. The problems of toxic positivity and tolerating unacceptable behavior shows up when gratitude is used as a tool of individualism.In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring accessing the true power of gratitude through shifting out of individualistic thinking and into collective consideration.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:The biological purpose of gratitudeGuilt vs responsibilityIndividualism’s distortion of gratitudeDeveloping a gratitude practiceThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Science of Gratitude white paperNeuroscience Reveals Gratitude Literally Rewires Your Brain to be HappierHow to Make Stress Your Friend TedTalkThe Book of JoyUnderstanding Your Stress Language episodeYou’re More Than Your Personality Test episodeToxic Positivity episodeHelpful vs Harmful Mindset Work episodeMaking Holiday Magic WorkshopPrivate coaching sessionCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

11/22/23 • 35:14

Send me a text!How to create belonging starts with understanding that most of us don’t know what belonging really is. It’s hard to create something that you haven’t first experienced and there is a difference between intellectually understanding vs experiencing something. What most of us do experience is strong conditioning from a young age around fitting in - to our families, in our school, and, ultimately, in society. This “fitting in” is part of how we are taught to uphold oppressive social systems because creates a faux belonging that activates our need for belonging but only fills it by exclusion. So, no wonder this is a struggle for many organizations and why we need help to understand and create it. In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Amena Chaudhry to join me in a conversation about how to create belonging in a true way for all.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:What is belonging?Fitting in vs belongingDisrupting social normsBuilding emotional literacyLeadership skills for DEI & antiracism workLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Myth of Normal by Gabor MatéThe Culture Code by Daniel CoyleThe Wake Up by Michelle Mijung KimThe Roundtable Talk by Meena MalikCONNECT WITH AMENA CHAUDHRY:WebsiteLinkedInArt of Interrupting Racism workshopCONNECT WITH VALERIE:WebsiteInstagramFacebookFree ResourcesGet email updates! Support the show

11/8/23 • 54:21

Send me a text!Reclaiming humanity through grief is necessary for our ability to intentionally create a world that honors each person's humanity. Understanding and having space to grieve and support each other through our grief helps us to connect to our shared humanity. In so many often unconscious ways, we are encouraged to dehumanize ourselves and others. One way this happens is a disconnect from our emotions and especially a lack of understanding and space to honor grief, not just our individual grief but also our communal grief. To rehumanize ourselves and overcome the pressures to dehumanize others, we must allow the space necessary for grief and healing.  In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring understanding grief and how we can reclaim our humanity through grief.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:Types of grief: traumatic grief, communal grief and historical griefUnderstanding anger and processing griefAlgorithms and communityDiscernment in mediaReclaiming humanityThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on Instagram LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The Lived Experience of Traumatic GriefWhy Historical Trauma Is Critical Understanding Black Mental HealthThe Link Between Trauma and AngerThe Process of GriefWhy Clients Smile When Talking About TraumaSocial Media, The Matrix, and Digital TribalismMisinformation and Trauma: How to Watch a War OnlineSee No Stranger by Valarie KaurMy Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa MenakemThe Myth of Normal by Gabor MatéThe Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van Der KolkCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

10/25/23 • 33:34

Send me a text!Rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison go hand in hand in a society where empowerment is treated as a commodity and lifestyle is used as a sales tactic. Lifestyle as a sales tactic encourages us to compare how happy we are to how happy someone supposedly living a particular lifestyle appears to be. When empowerment is the commodity being sold, it becomes the way to achieve that lifestyle. These idealized lifestyles tend to uphold societal norms and often become internalized through frequent messaging. Comparison can be a helpful tool for noticing what you have internalized as preferable in life, which may also help you release the comparison. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring rethinking empowerment and releasing comparison to create a more aligned and authentically joyful way of life.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:Re-thinking empowermentWalking through changeThe influence of normsBuying out of the fantasyUsing comparisons for self-reflectionThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Amena Chaudhry LinkedInHow to Manifest What You Want Podcast EpisodeImplicit Bias Defined video by The Center for Social JusticeTEDx What Do We Do About Implicit Bias video by Dushaw HockettThinking Under the Influence video by Brenda J. AllenRest is Resistance by Tricia HerseyCONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie! Support the show

10/11/23 • 38:09

Send me a text!How to cure comparisonitis starts by understanding the cause and that this isn’t just a “you” problem. It’s something that impacts you, your confidence, your sense of self, and your well-being, so it feels deeply personal. Since it’s internal, comparisonitis feels like a habit of comparing yourself to others in one or multiple areas. It’s usually triggered in an area that already feels endangered in some way – often things like financial success or belonging. It turns into a cycle of validation seeking where you feel inadequate or less than, doubt yourself and your abilities and seek validation from others which tends to further erode self-esteem. It’s also framed as an individual issue even when noted as being exacerbated by things like social media. But you can tell there’s more to it both in what feels threatened and how it’s exacerbated.In this episode of Unlimited, I’m exploring the causes of and how to cure comparisonitis.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:Losing my self and self-trustSacrificing authenticity for belongingSurvival mode upholds societal normsEngaging individual and collective healing4 steps to recalibrate your inner compassThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!  LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Amena Chaudhry LinkedInThe Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate#TradWife Life as Self-Annihilation by Anne Helen PetersonCONNECT WITH VALERIE: Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

9/27/23 • 36:24

Send me a text!Insights from change making feminist founders are an important type of support for other feminist business owners and leaders. We are surrounded by stories of what success is and what you must do to achieve it that perpetuate exploitation of ourselves, of others, and of our planet. These stories are what is normalized but they aren’t the only way. Hearing other stories and ways of doing business helps us believe and trust in the possibility of change. It helps us tap into and generate ideas outside the normalized boxes. Additionally, and maybe most importantly, it helps us know that we are not alone.In this episode of Unlimited, I invited Becky Mollenkamp to join me in a conversation about the insights she's gotten from interviewing change making feminist founders.Some of what we talk about in this episode includes:Unlearning and the journey to find a new pathHierarchical vs egalitarian business structureExploring the term FeminismRecognizing where you still need work and doing itCollective work and enoughnessLINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:Working it Out PodcastCONNECT WITH BECKY MOLLENKAMP: WebsiteInstagramThreadsFeminist Founders Podcast CONNECT WITH VALERIE: Website Instagram Facebook Get email updates! Support the show

9/13/23 • 44:04

Send me a text!How to create a schedule that works for you cannot take a one size fits all approach. Most so called “successful people” strategies play on the false idea that we all have the same 24 hours and should, therefore, be able to get the same amount done. These strategies fail to factor in our humanity, discount our lived experiences, and fuel self-doubt. Instead of trying to fit someone else’s mold, you deserve routines that honor your humanity and support you where you are. Part of creating a schedule that works for you also means acknowledging that what works for you may look different at different times too. In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into the foundations that help you create a schedule that works for you with both structure and flexibility.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:How to bake flexibility into your plansDetermining routines that support youMeeting yourself where you’re at in creating new habitsUnderstanding the relationship between time and energyExercises to assess where you’re spending your energyThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachvalI love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions.You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE: Episode 7 – Can I Make Plans YetReclaim Your Routine Workshop SeriesCONNECT WITH VALERIE:Facebook Instagram Get email updates! Work with Valerie! Support the show

8/23/23 • 43:47

Send me a text!How to cultivate self-love is also how you develop self-confidence, make room for self-care, and show up as your best self. This episode is an updated replay of the season one episode, Relearning Self-Love. Your relationship with yourself is the foundation for your relationship with everyone and everything in your life. Unfortunately, it is also the relationship that we are constantly conditioned to ignore. Even the emphasis on the importance of self-care turns into a pressure when the foundation for care hasn’t been given room to be cultivated. Instead of helping us take care of ourselves better, this pressure further fuels the disconnect within ourselves.In this episode of Unlimited, I’m diving into how to cultivate self-love, especially in times when life is happening and we feel out of control.Some of what I’ll cover in this episode include:The difference between self-love and self-careIdentifying your level of self-loveNoticing if and how you express love to yourselfWays to build self-confidence through lovePreventing self-love sabotageThank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me!  @unlimitedcoachval I love to hear your thoughts and I'm always happy to answer any questions. You can shoot me an email at valerie@valeriefriedlander.com or DM me on InstagramAND don’t forget to subscribe, rate and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!LINKS FROM THIS EPISODE:The 5 Love LanguagesWhat’s Your Stress Language Quiz#3 Understanding Your Stress LanguageCONNECT WITH VALERIE:FacebookInstagramGet email updates!Work with Valerie!Support the show

8/9/23 • 38:25