There are so many ways to practice female dominant sexuality (and male submissive sexuality) that fall outside the tongue-lashing, whip-wielding, leather-suited stereotype. Also, you never have to take yourself too seriously. Listen in as The Gentle Domme and assorted guests discuss different aspects of being, courting, dating, and pleasing a gentle femdom.
In this episode I am alone! I do miss The Rough Subbe but our podcasting schedules never seem to align lately. In this episode I talk more calmly about why the recent election results have affected me so personally as a Domme and discuss how I view submissive men vs. fetishists. I talk about the role of labels in kink and how our choices in the bedroom can have an effect outside the bedroom. I also discuss ways to potentially lighten the emotional load for your Domme, and the sexy new outfits I bought in NOLA and now have to find a place to show off. I hope I didn’t lecture too much, unless you like that kind of thing.
11/25/24 • 30:33
That's what this is.
11/6/24 • 16:12
Is it Loctober? Or Locktober? I've unchained The Rough Subbe from my dungeon walls, and he's "agreed" to podcast with me again! This episode is all about chastity, including why the details never seem quite as sexy as porn (imagine that), choosing the perfect for you cage, what we each find fun about it, and our upcoming plans for the months of denial...not for me, of course!
10/1/24 • 38:26
Hello, my Darling Deviants!This is a special episode. The Rough Subbe is not here. It's just me! Reading a new blog post! I was reminded recently that I have not been doing enough writing, and I have been wanting to really talk in depth about this subject for quite a while. But I've been...afraid? Of being vulnerable? Of saying the wrong thing? Of hurting my business? Or sort of talking about something that doesn't just affect me? I think all of those. I feel pretty nervous putting this out there, but it's something I haven't seen discussed very much--probably for some obvious reasons. I don't actually know the number of online Dommes who also have transfeminine kids. My guess is that it's kind of small? I published this on my blog and on Fetlife, but I know there are a lot of people who listen to my podcast who don't look at my blog or Fetlife. Be gentle with me. Yes. It's a pun--but also, for real.
12/6/22 • 15:22
I don't know why, but I'm channeling my inner Parker Posey in Dazed and Confused, and I just want to put you all down on the pavement and cover you with condiments while teasing you about all of the orgasms you want to give up for me!Parker Posey...femdom icon. So, are we doing it? Are we doing it? Be a good boy and give up those orgasms for me. It'll be fun, she said. ;)
10/1/22 • 05:03
Hello, everyone!In this long awaited episode The Rough Subbe and I make a podcast in bed. We talk about my not so recent injury, which has kept me away from my computer. We discuss my two Patreons! And then we talk about the hot sex we just had, including more about orgasm control, and why we love it, face slapping (so hot) and whether or not I'm a sadist. We dip into "nurturing" domination, and how we feel conflicted about the "M" word and objectification.And then we opine about M/f dynamics, and if male doms like selfish sex. Do they? Let us know. We have no idea. The sound isn't great in this episode because we were literally recording from bed. :)
7/21/22 • 24:17
In this episode we talk about my new Patreon, specifically for premature ejaculation fetishists. The Rough Subbe and I talk all about this kink—about if we have it, if so, why, and what are other reasons some guys might be turned on by the idea of coming “too” quickly. This brings up to why I’ve been getting turned on by homewrecking fantasies, and then we end up discussing a bit about the ethics of phone sex and whether it’s cheating. This was quite a fun episode to make, as evidenced by my plentiful giggles. We hope you enjoy.
5/25/22 • 30:18
We’re back! After our long hiatus, The Gentle Domme and The Rough Subbe have returned! At least for now. In this episode we talk about what makes sex kinky (for us), the holding up of hair, Cole Porter, who is the smuttiest, and where The Gentle Domme has been these long months. Also, we discuss 6 orgasms and how The Rough Subbe is gaining stamina while The Gentle Domme is losing hers. Want us to talk about anything in particular? Let us know
5/2/22 • 29:33
Hello, my darling deviants!In Episode 22 of The Gentle Dommecast, The Rough Subbe and I are joined by a very special guest--our friend "Violet!" Violet identifies as a submissive who also switches, and although we are all friends, she actually met The Rough Subbe before I did, and he was her first "victim," (lucky lucky victim) to try out some of her budding sadism!Violet, TRS and I talked a lot on this episode about what a generally submissive woman might find hot about topping. We also discussed how a submissive male partner might approach his submissive female partner about topping him. And THEN we recounted several co-topping scenes we did together, one of which involved a ladder, a blow job, boobs, and my stroking of Violet's hair. (She does have very pretty hair.)I am embarrassed that I forgot some of the very hot details, but I was happy to be reminded of them. We talked about negotiating co-topping and delved a little bit into group scenes in general, based on some extremely lovely fan mail I received!We also discovered that Violet has really sexy toes that enjoy being sucked. ;)We hope you enjoy this episode! It's a little longer than usual, but that's because we had such a great discussion! I hope we will have more guests in the future!Last, a little plug for some of my new social media adventures. You can check out some SFW erotic hypnosis audios I've been making on YouTube and some free hot femdom script fills I've been recording on Reddit Gone Wild Audio.
2/6/22 • 44:32
Hello, my Darling Deviants!It's episode 21 of The Gentle Dommecast! Pull up a chair and have a glass of champagne as we come of age!In this episode, Miss Vivian and The Rough Subbe discuss subspace, cuckolding (again), and there's even a little face slapping fun, if you make it to the end. There's also some initial talk about the great erotic audio class I took with @TheSecretSubjct....and licking microphones? Maybe someone can explain this. First, we talk about what subspace is, and our own personal experiences with it, both good and bad! (Be careful to negotiate and communicate!) TRS brings up an especially hot encounter involving face slapping that led to feelings of subspace, and I ask about topspace/dommespace. Is it a thing? Does it exist?Then we return to the topic of cuckolding, and I specifically talk about why I think of cuckolding as a man's kink (and why I think of cuckqueaning as a woman's kink). I like fantasizing about cuckolding, but I have some questions about how it plays out in reality. Last, as a reward for being such a good boy, TRS gets a little face slapping on the podcast! I was kind of worried you wouldn't be able to hear, but it was crystal clear!As always, we hope you enjoy! I'm specifically trying to build up my Twitter account, so please follow @thegentledomme, if you haven't already!
1/16/22 • 38:48
Hello, my Darling Deviants!What a treat! We got fan mail! TRS and I received the sweetest email from a new Domme who listens to our podcast. I asked her if we could address some of her questions on the podcast, and she said yes. So, she actually did us a favor by giving us content! Some of the questions we address today include:1. How do you get in the mental space of feeling like a Domme?2. What do you do on a daily basis to keep that D/s dynamic present?3. What are some ways to keep your dynamic going when you’re apart?And several more…We also ask where the Mommy? Sorry? Mommy? Thing came from, and there’s a lot of laughing. We mentioned a lot of resources this episode including: The Reddit Community R/FemdomCommunityPrincess Kali and KinkAcademy.ComSharyn Ferns and her blog TheDommeChronicles.ComSubmissive Guy ComicsUniquely Rika We hope you enjoy, and that you’ve all been having happy holidays!
12/17/21 • 35:25
In this episode The Rough Subbe returns! With regrets! And begging! Enjoyable begging!Today we’re talking about punishments and continuing to talk a little more about erotic hypnosis, which I’ve been getting more and more interested in. And it turns out The Rough Subbe is ALSO getting a little hot under the collar for being made a bit mindless. I think he also has a crush on The Secret Subject. (I might too.) We discuss a recent tiff we had, and how we both feel about punishments in our relationships. And we theorize a bit about how other people might or might not like punishments in D/s relationships.I also get very intimate with my new Blue Yeti microphone. It’s so….girthy. And discover that my attempt at a subliminal messaging made The Rough Subbe think an evil witch was coming to get him in the middle of the night. We hope you enjoy this episode, and we’re looking forward to Episode 20!
12/3/21 • 32:16
Hello, my Darling Deviants!I'm back for another episode with just yours truly. TRS and I had a very funny podcast idea, but we keep getting derailed by our Sunday night Succession watching. Maybe next time.In this episode I tell you how Miss Vivian got her kinky groove back. TRS and I had some fun kinky play over the weekend, including one super simple scene idea if you like objectification as much as we do.However, I spend most of the episode continuing what I talked about in Episode 17. This week I had a man ask me what he could do when he wanted kinky play and his partner just wasn't into it. As you can imagine, this is not an easy question to answer, since it depends so much on individual relationships. But I covered some key issues related to this concern, such as the difference between submission and bottoming, how to not create a lot of work for your partner, and even some sad but honest truth that sometimes you just might not be sexually compatible. I hope you find this informative and at least a little bit entertaining! Have a kinky week!
11/8/21 • 24:07
Hello, my Darling Deviants!This is another shorter podcast episode with just me, The Gentle Domme!In it, I discuss a recent interest discussion I had about a wife whose husband wanted kinky play that she didn't enjoy. In this episode, I discuss the differences between submission and kinky play, submission and bottoming, and how liking or disliking service doesn't make or break submission. I also talk about the importance of communicating kinky desires with partners before a relationship gets too serious to determine sexual compatibility. And how foisting your desires on your partner is not the way to get what you want. I hope you enjoy this episode!
11/4/21 • 18:00
Hello, my Darling Deviants!In this episode it's just me! TRS was feeling tired, and I knew it had been far too long since I'd made a podcast for you. Plus, it's almost Halloween, which is my favorite holiday. So, I wanted to say Happy Halloween!In this episode I discuss erotic hypnosis, something I've been doing more and more through my phone domination. But I specifically talk about hypnotizing TRS and his reaction, which was very positive. This wasn't a kink of his, but he was open to trying it. And he enjoyed it quite a lot! I also discuss my feelings about performing erotic hypnosis in general, such as fears about "imposter syndrome" and my plans for more education and practice moving into next year.I also somewhat spontaneously discussed something I was blogging about, which is being in a kinky rut. I think lots of people assume that just because a woman likes to be in control sexually (and sometimes just in general) that she must always want kinky sex. But ultimately, this really has nothing to do with one's libido, and any woman is prone to occasionally being in a place where sex and/or kink just aren't high priorities. I think this is important for anyone on either side of the slash to know. If anyone wants to suggest some really hot femdom related content that they think would inspire me, I'm all eyes and ears. But do remember that--sadly--most of the content out there is very much tailored for men. So ixnay on the aggressive pegging porn please! Last and not least, enjoy your Halloween and get SPOOOOOOKYYYYYY for me my sweet little ghouls!
10/30/21 • 23:17
We're back from kink camp, and as promised, here is my follow up episode to our experience!I must admit that I feel a little bit boring, because, well....it turns out that I'm not really a good camper. I'm not even a good part-time camper! Enjoy this episode where you can listen to me recount my misery and laugh at practically everyone I know's validation that I wasn't going to have a good time being kinky in the woods. I keep the name and location of the place where I went private, but if you have questions about attending or attending big events in general, you can always contact me privately. I still enjoy big kink events, but from now on, I'm probably sticking to hotels, where I belong.
9/20/21 • 28:32
Hello, my darling deviants! I have left you for so long! I apologize. I've been traveling a lot over the summer. I missed you!In this special episode, The Rough Subbe and I discuss our upcoming visit to kink camp! That's right! We're going kinky camping. In this podcast, we talk about what we hope to get out of the event, how we feel about being sexy in 90 degree weather (not very), and how embarrassing it's going to be when everyone sees TRS pitching a different kind of tent in his skimpy shorts. We also wax poetic about the pandemic and how its made us feel about going to this event. I talk a lot about my actual tent. I've become really obsessed with glamping decor.After we return, we'll give you the lowdown on how kinky camping ACTUALLY went for us and whether my outfits were as cute as I thought they would be. Oh, yeah. And if we got up to any kinky shenanigans!Last, I mentioned the RISK podcast where I first heard about kink camp many years ago. If you'd like to hear that, you can find it here!
8/29/21 • 29:50
I FINALLY wrangled The Rough Subbe into making another podcast with me, only under threat that he was going to be replaced with another sidekick. (Because people are beating down my door for the job.) I might call this less of an episode and more of a tirade after seeing some major generalizations in one of my favorite kink forums about gentle femdom, feminization and age play. So, this entire podcast is a rebuttal against those generalizations. I'm probably going to piss some people off, but when DON'T I do that?In other news, I got my first troll! However, since I lock down comments, it's not really that useful to leave me hateful statements about how kink is actually abuse. But I feel like you're not really a blogger until you get a troll. So, have I arrived? Also, I'd like to mention that nothing I say is gospel. Kink has lots of gray areas, and I'm simply sharing my feelings here. So, while I feel pretty comfortable about the feelings I've expressed, those feelings could change over time or with new information.
7/19/21 • 35:31
It's Episode 12 of The Gentle Dommecast, and tonight you get me ALL to yourselves!The Rough Subbe has been so busy, and it's been impossible to coordinate our schedules AND feel like making a half hour podcast. I realized the last podcast I made was in MAY! And that's just totally unacceptable when I like to hear myself talk so much. ;)So, tonight I bit the bullet and just decided to record myself! I'm talking about erotic hypnosis, including how I was introduced to it, my feelings about if I can be hypnotized or not, and how much I've started to enjoy making erotic hypnosis audios and doing hypnosis on Niteflirt. Then I talk about impact play, including the joys of spanking, as well as a variety of impact toys that I own and use. It's been too long since I've had the freedom to get really loud with impact play.Finally, I give a little update about what I've been up to, including my sexy new listings on Niteflirt, that I now have over 175 sexy audio files, and that I was the runner up in the kink category for The Good Sex Awards!I hope you enjoy, and I hope to be back soon with The Rough Subbe at my side for another podcast!
7/11/21 • 20:36
In Episode 11 of The Gentle Dommecast, The Rough Subbe and I discuss the return of kink events post pandemic and the difference between submission and bottoming, specifically in F/m femdom.We decided to wing this one, and we went off on a bunch of tangents. I am SUPER excited about events starting again, and my intent was to discuss kink events in general, but I got waylaid into discussing BIG kink events, and the way relationships can be tested when attending them. Maybe I'll revisit events in a later episode.We also discussed the difference between going to events as a man or as a woman. I realized after that I do tend to be very binary with my language because my frame of reference is as a cis-gender mostly straight woman. I usually depend on TRS to remind me to be inclusive, but he was drinking brandy. ;) So, please forgive me for that. Last, we took on the difference between submission and bottoming and how bottoms can sometimes get a bad rap, especially online. But we both love bottoms! The kink kind and the cute butt ones. I hope you enjoy!
5/23/21 • 34:07
Hello, everyone! I know it's been a while. Life has been busy!In Episode 10 of The Gentle Dommecast, The Rough Subbe and I discuss a new kink we've gotten into that we're dubbing "Stamina Humiliation." We happened upon it by accident, but it definitely ties into our interest in orgasm control, as well as my jealousy issues. Who? Me?Then we talk about sexual orientation, including how we identify and how our sexual orientations have changed over the years. We also get into the forced bi kink and how that may or may not connect to sexual orientation.Last, we give a quick shout out about the HBO show Succession and it's nod to femdom. Meow!If you have any suggestions about future topics, feel free to let me know!
5/10/21 • 31:58
In Episode 9 of The Gentle Dommecast, The Rough Subbe and I discuss chastity and cuckolding!What talk about what "counts" as chastity, how we treat it in our relationship, finding a cage that's right for you, and what we both get out of it. The Rough Subbe sums it up as, "It's fun to be horny!" We are not heavily into chastity, and we treat it as more of a game than part of a serious D/s dynamic. Then we segue into a discussion about cuckolding and how it often overlaps with chastity. We talk about fantasy vs. reality, whether cuckolding is really ONLY a "male" fantasy or not, and the complicated relationship cuckolding porn often has with race play and our feelings about that.
4/18/21 • 33:40
In Episode 8 of The Gentle Dommecast The Rough Subbe and I talk all about Fetlife! We discuss what Fetlife is, who might want to use it and why--or why not. We also talk about what we love and hate about Fetlife.On our list, we met through Fetlife. So, that's a major positive! On the negative side, hot eighteen year old girls on K&P who belong to "Daddy." Okay. The Rough Subbe probably doesn't find that quite as tedious as I do. Overall, this was a pretty silly episode, and I went off on some tangents, including berating The Rough Subbe for tea drinking and accidentally implying that I'm old. I also used the word "woke," without irony, further cementing that I am old.
4/5/21 • 34:56
In this episode we discuss ruined orgasms and hard (and soft) limits!We discuss what a ruined orgasm is, how one might theoretically make one happen, why they can be fun, and what we both like about them. The Rough Subbe also gets a little squeamish, which makes me laugh because I enjoy that sort of thing. I also boast about my record, although it's possible I'm just a legend in my own mind. Then we discuss the concept of limits, hard and soft, including our own limits. And I get a little judgey about people who always call out "scat" as a hard limit on their Fetlife profiles because I can just be a judgey bitch sometimes. Enjoy!
3/21/21 • 28:49
We think it's Episode 6 of the podcast! We are correct.In this episode we went off track a little and discussed some things that were just on our minds. Okay. They were on my mind. The Rough Subbe just went along with me because I told him we had to do a podcast.First, we talk about this book I can't get out of my head called The Fortress, by S.A. Jones, and we discuss the femdom fantasies it inspired in me. Second, we talk about Dan Savage's HUMP film festival, which is live streaming until March 6th. We saw it right after we recorded the podcast. We talk about what HUMP is and the experience of seeing it live. Hopefully, we will again next year!
2/28/21 • 23:11
It's Episode 5 of The Gentle Dommecast! This week The Rough Subbe and I are talking about money and men! First, we discuss the role of money in a kinky relationship. Should submissive guys expect to pay tributes to possible dominants? We also talk about clarifying exactly what you're looking for if you're a man searching for a "Mistress," and how that plays into the role of money within that search. We bring up findom, and I come to no particular decision about it except that I think I'm bad at it. We also touch on emotional labor and sex work in a pandemic economy.Then we move on to talking about submissive men and masculinity. Does being a submissive man make you less "masculine?" What about desires for emasculation in kink? And how do societal expectations about what is "masculine" and "feminine" play into these questions and anxieties?
2/21/21 • 26:34
It's Episode 4 of The Gentle Dommecast! And this week The Rough Subbe and I are talking about older women/younger men dynamics and how those might or might not relate to femdom. (In our case, they kind of do.) We talk about what's hot and fun about age gap relationships, as well as some of the difficulties involved in them. And we also bring up fetishizing age. Hint. I don't like it. Then we discuss honorifics, including the role they have in our relationship, what names The Rough Subbe likes to use for me and some of the pet names I use for him. We also talk about names we dislike for various reasons. (It took me a little while to come around to Ma'am.)I think the sound was a little off this week, so I'm sorry if parts are a bit hard to hear. I'm going to be more careful about that from now on.
2/6/21 • 29:53
Episode 3 of The Gentle Dommecast is up! I jokingly referred to it as the "tea-cast," since I'm still recovering from sore throat. So, if you hear my sipping, it's my tea with honey. This week The Rough Subbe and I take on porn and switching. We talk about what kinds of porn we like and don't like, the role of femdom porn in both exposing people to new ideas and perhaps confusing them between reality and fantasy, and exactly how we define porn. Then we discuss switching, including whether we consider ourselves switches, and we end up getting into a discussion about the role of labels in kink and if your preferences change over time. I hope you enjoy, and if there's a topic you really want to hear us discuss, let me know!
1/31/21 • 30:46
In this second episode The Gentle Domme and The Rough Subbe talk about feminization, with a question mark. What is feminization? What falls under this category of kink, and what do we like about it and have questions about. We reminisce about a hot cheerleader scene we did, and The Gentle Domme reflects on whether she's just bitter she wasn't a cheerleader. We also discuss the public Scene, including why you might want to get involved in it, or not.
1/24/21 • 34:00
In this first episode The Gentle Domme and The Rough Subbe discuss starting a podcast, what they like and dislike and orgasm control and denial, and talk about the role of pain play in femdom. The Gentle Domme also uses the word "like" way too much and The Rough Subbe hogs the spotlight and casts from the poddom.
1/17/21 • 28:21