Book of Boredom

** #112 Mosiah 29: Boredom Shared, Burden Halved ** :: Presented by Friends in Iniquity :: Sister Divchina joins Sister Patience in reading the final horrible chapter of Mosiah. They also discuss the poorly regulated "troubled teen industry" in Utah, which sadly stole the life of 17 year old Taylor Goodridge on 20th December 2022. ** "Things" learned from Mosiah 29 ** Joseph Smith loves non-specific pronouns like "things". Everyone else can't tell what he's talking about. Derivations of the word "expedient" can be used to make anything sound authoritative. The word's meaning is irrelevant. If you get bored during one of Smitty's run-on sentences, find a place to pause (good luck), and interject "In the bedroom!". The results are often amusing. Your mileage may vary. God is like a Twix bar. The pitfalls of Smitty's theocracy mixed with democracy outlined in this chapter. It's a structure that the church tries to use today. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #111 Mosiah 28: Hyrum Smith's Sunglasses ** :: The people of the run-on-sentence of Limhi :: Brother Jones and Sister Patience try to read Mosiah 28 with a straight face (not possible), and also discuss recent Mormon related news. ** A Slightly Interperative Summary of Mosiah 28 ** The people of Zerahemla had "great anxiety" and were "desirous beyond measure" to know the history of a dead people group. So King Mosiah used Hyrum Smith's Sunglasses to aquire this information from some etched metal plates. Old King Mosiah couldn't bestow his kingdom on one of his sons, because they all wanted to pursue careers as missionaries. Everyone was happy to see them go too. It's not like there was high-demand for them in primary food production, defence, or in the skilled trades that built and maintained their advanced civilisation. But with so much joy, there was also deep sorrow. For these new converts, who had never committed any crimes, were apparently "the very vilest of sinners" before their conversion. And "they suffered much anguish of soul because of their iniquities". Their wives thought this was a lot of emotion and superlative for a lifestyle of skipping church for a few beers with friends on the weekend. So, they were thrilled to lose the dead weight. The endless religious discussions and naval-gazing had become an imovable hindrance around the home. :: Mormon News Stories Discussed: :: Drifter steals 4 chicken nuggets from amazing fully equipped LDS Ward kitchen. The real crime here is that this kitchen has only ever been used for producing generic Mormon-Pot-Luck(TM) meals. LDS donates 48 million to alleviate hunger. They could donate 1 billion a year and still grow their capital by a very large margin. Court overturned a former judgment, and allows James Huntsman's fraud case against the church where he alleges LDS used tithes wrongly. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #110 Mosiah 27: Alma son of Alma ** :: Hilarity with Charity! :: In preparation for this recording, Sister Charity ruined her Youtube search history with Mormon research. Thank you for your sacrifice! She contrasts the latter-day-cult with her own experiences of growing up as the spawn of pentecostal missionaries in the Philippines! Since there were two lawyers on the show, Sister Patience asked Brother Banjamin and Sister Gigi about some ways the legal system might be improved Mosiah 27 itself didn't fail to dissappoint, so expect amusement as the team roasts it mercilessly. :: Key (Dissappoint|Amuse)ments: :: Smitty's "the that thou" tongue twister. An angel with a thundering voice who forgets to announce being sent from God, until the end, where it sounds really unconvincing, even with all the thundering. Much to the confusion of everyone, Smitty kept his lies easy to remember by naming Alma's son after his father! C'mon even the Old Testament managed to lie better than that! He could have at least added a "Jnr" to differentiate. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #109 Mosiah 26: Welcome to Insane Peaks ** :: Total Assets $1,000,000 ($38,000,000,000) :: Brother Jones and Sister Patience blaze through a chapter, best described in the Book of Boredom group chat: "Jones and I just read 39 verses of some of the most boring bits of this entire shitty thing. WELL DONE JONES! We're nearly half way thru the BOM!" ~ Patience :: What is this chapter like? :: This chapter is like calling a contact-centre, and being redirected 5 times before the line finally drops, with no solution. This chapter is a bleeding example of the waste inherant in collectivism. This chapter is a game of "Pass the Parcel". This chapter is an example of how to hold a religious inqusition where no one dies. So, "yay!" for "no murder"! That's one small step for Smitty. This chapter mirrors modern day Mormon excommunication practices. Gee, I wonder where they got it from. Smitty just took 2 steps back. :: Other key points: :: Two true stories, where bad ideas from religion resulted in OCD, or OCD-like symptoms. Trump makes his way into 26:25. The church built a MODULAR TEMPLE! Ahaha. Tell your faithful Mormon parents about the Gospel Topic Essays. It's a mitzvah for their brain health! They will cause so much brain activity, that Alzheimers will be staved off by at least a decade! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #108 Mosiah 24-25: Nephite As a Second Language ** :: Amulon was a NASL teacher :: Brother Benjamin and Sister Patience get two chapters closer to the end of this abysmal book of Mosiah. We also loop back to some verses from the last chapter that made no sense, as Brother Benjamin interprets the atrocious prose. :: Key Amusements Include: :: Quote from Brother Benjamin: "I do not understand what is going on with this book." Who the fuck is Zenif again? The Book Of Mormon Rangers Return! Brother Benjamin tells us about his latest trip to the Burning-Man-esque "Element Eleven". Sister Patience tells about the "Dark Mofo" festival in Tasmania that made the news, and Brother Benjamin goes down a google rabbit-hole reading about it. God doesn't embarrass easily, clearly. The overtly repetative and full-of-fill Mosiah 24:23 - "And now the Lord said unto Alma: Haste thee and get thou and this people out of this land, for the Lamanites have awakened and do pursue thee; therefore get thee out of this land, and I will stop the Lamanites in this valley that they come no further in pursuit of this people." Smitty could have just written, "God said, leave quickly, the Lamanites are now awake and pursuing you, but I will stop them in the valley." Arghhhhh. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #107 Mosiah 23: Ask your bishop if Amulon is right for you ** :: Ignore the boredom and try AMULON :: In a last-ditch attempt to get Mosiah out of their lives, Gigi and Patience continue on to Mosiah 23 without a short stop roasting the "Saints" podcast. Don't worry, it will be roasted later, but right now it's in the fridge. Alma says: "Kings are bad", then says, "Well, they would be fantastic if only all kings were nice". From that, Smitty can still say whatever he wants later about himself. God decides to show how wonderful he is by not doing the obvious thing of saving the people who follow him. No, God decides to put his people into bondage, just so that he can save them later. Like a confidence trickster. Oh, and Amulon. Actually, if you just do whatever you want on Sunday, you won't need it. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #106 Mosiah 22: Gideon got Back! ** :: The back pass, thru the back wall, on the back side, BAAAAA. :: Sister Gigi and Sister Patience read the implausible escape story that is, Mosiah 22. Oh, and the wilderness continues to be a miraculous, yet un-mappable abyss where just about anything can happen. :: Our co-hosts also chime in on: :: The recent ban of the Bible in primary schools of the Davis school district in Utah. Chris Christie joins the fray to be US President. Tractors with AI and LASERS to kill weeds! AI in code generation, and the legal system. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #105 Mosiah 20-21: The burgers are better at McTemples! ** :: And behold also there was a General Conference! :: Brother Jones and Sister Patience have some fun with the gaffes from the April 2023 LDS General Conference, then proceed to read Mosiah 20 and 21. :: A few of the stupidities: :: Smitty gets carried away with his "beholds" in 20:19. And behold, it was hilarious. The Book of Mormon is a (shitty) fantasy novel, so it's only fitting that Smitty refers to fighting like "dragons" in 20:11. However, he also forgot that his story is not just fantasy, but also fan-fiction of an earlier work: The Bible. And in so doing, created continuity issues with a beast God never created. The "Flirt to Convert - Convert to Marry - Marry to Fuck" pipeline. The anti-ASMR of gulping down Smitty's horseshit. More McTemples! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #104 Roasting Saints 19 ** :: Temple Zero :: On "Saints" episode 19 they discuss the dedication of the Kirtland Temple. A historic site currently owned by the The Community of Christ sect of Mormonism, rather than the main "Motherchurch". The dedication sounded exactly like a regular Pentecostal mass-hypnosis session, complete with charismatic speakers that everyone seemed more than happy to listen to for hours at a time. Smitty and Rigdon must have felt so validated as they regurgitated King James style bastardisations of the English language to such a captive audience. This first temple is a far-cry from the Masonic hybrid that Mormon temples have become. So naturally, they wheel out the ye-olde "line-upon-line" explanation, as a hypnotic trigger to let themselves off-the-hook for any cognitive dissonace. Ben Godfrey even convinced himself that Smitty received the plans for this white-box by devine revelation. A design so simple, that if it were red, would resemble a hotel playing-piece from the board-game "Monopoly". He even name-dropped the Joseph Smith Papers website where we could check out the revelation for ourselves. Turns out it was just DNC 95. Ben seemed so sure that even the interior was described. It wasn't. Instead, Smitty just says what activities are to be performed inside his silly white box. If the Mothership ever manages to purchase this thing, I wonder if they'll stick a giant bathtub in there, and a stupid video describing Masonic handshakes? #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #103 Mosiah 17-19 ** :: Lim-Hi now available in Orange and Grape flavors! :: Brother Benjamin is back, and we're powering through another 3 chapters of A-Grade Christianese Babble. Smitty even advances his story in between all the meaningless religious phrases he endlessly decorates his verses with. In chapter 19 we finally meet Limhi (again). We first met him in chapter 7, but from chapter 9 it's been the implausible backstory of his nation. Or is it a town? Yet it supports a king with an army and guards. Guards who can't spot a dissident, out in the open, baptising people. Guards who need to surround an unarmed docile prisoner, already in custody, in order to place him back in his cell. Have fun as Smitty sends his characters in and out of the generic "wilderness", and how they somehow bump into each other out there. Smirk as flames cannot shutup the verbose Abinadi who decides to give a sermon while burning alive. Book of Boredom: keeping the Book of Mormon silly, because it is. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #102 Crazy Wacky Mormon Shit ** :: Get to the Temple and Drink the Koolaid! :: There's been a lot of crazy wacky Mormon shit in the news lately. Sister Divchina and Brother Ed, have been researching it all, so that YOU (and Sister Patience) don't have to! This might turn into a regular series, because the news stories seem to be breeding like, well... Mormons! :: Covered in this episode: :: Lori and Chad Daybell. Are they killing everyone by natural causes? Rusty Nelson's Temple Ritual Changes. With declining numbers willing to operate these monstrosities, Rusty streamlines your trip through hell with some automation. What's next? AI Joe? Heather Gay, from the show Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, comes out as a "Bad Mormon". Michael Haight kills everyone because his marriage breaks down. A giant statue of Joseph Smith finds a home in India's World Peace Dome. Whatever the fuck that is. They take a guy, who formed an army (albeit poorly), and put him in a "peace dome". Weird. Due to the war in Ukraine, imported leaders of the LDS church in Russia have escaped back to the US. Leaving the remaining Russian Mormons to realise, that if they can't practice English with native speakers over pot-luck meals, why go to church? Random silliness from the Bishop's Handbook. Sister Divchina has a very odd conversation in a library. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #101 Roasting Saints 18 ** :: The Erection to Revelation Pipeline :: In this 18th instalment of ROASTING the "Saints" podcast... We hear Keith Erekson PhD from the Church History Library, explain to poor Ben and Sarah, how the Book of Abraham came to be! The hosts were clearly surprised by some of Dr Keith's horseshit. Perhaps most baffling was his explaination of how the book it still inspired by God! Supposedly, the source for The Book of Abraham is a particular Egyptian papyrus. The same very papyrus that has since been translated in real "uninspired" ways by Egyptologists, and is known to be a funerary scroll titled "Hor Book of Breathing". Nothing even remotely to do with Abraham. But Dr Keith ignores all this, and incorrectly says it contains words re-copied from earlier works originally written by Abraham (the OG Hebrew Patriarch). Aside from ROASTING "Saints", Sister Gigi tells a vomit filled story, full of alliteration and hilarity; and later even draws the basis for today's episode artwork, live while recording! As usual Sister Patience couldn't help herself and vectorised/modified it a little. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #100 Mosiah 13-16: How ugly on the mountains... ** :: ...are the feet of those who publish horseshit. :: Welcome to our 100th episode! And to celebrate, we've done something quite different. Which is just as well, because King Noah seems totally fine to remain silent while Abinadi preaches a damning and soporific sermon. This includes reading aloud the 10 Commandments from an unspecified document that he miraculously has access to as a prisoner. Also, Smitty decides to fallback on his greatest hits, and regurgitates more chunks of Isaiah. So naturally, we couldn't let him get away with it... Enjoy! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #099 Roasting Saints 17: Meet the Mormons ** :: Then, free their press out the window? :: After this episode... If you still think Smitty is a prophet, when he cannot get anything right - seek treatment! If you still think the word "Mormon" is a slur inspired by Satan, when the "Saints" podcast uses the word to refer to themselves every episode - seek treatment! If you still think "Saints" is a serious history book - seek treatment! If you know Sarah Eyring from "The Mormon Channel" - is she still a true believer? Asking for a friend... #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #098 Mosiah Chapter 12: This isn't like a fortune cookie. ** :: Simile Curse, Similar Story :: This week Smitty stretched forth his hand (like a dumbass), and Socratically masturbated to Braille porn until ziff formed the shape of yet another dress-up story. We asked if there was DNA evidence, but he'd already burned the garment to a crisp, and said unto us, "Nay!" #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #097 Roasting Saints 16: Thrilled ** :: with special guest Skeletor Rusty! :: Today we roast episode 16 of the Mormon Channel's "Saints" podcast. Their historian guest was Jed Woodworth Ph.D. A man who thinks that Phebe Peck, and by extension other Mormon women, were so "thrilled" to be able to read the prophet's words semi-directly in the ye-olde Mormon newspaper, that they just had to evangelize by writing letters to friends exhuberantly. A man who thinks these early Mormon women were excited to order their lives under Smitty's prophetic voice. A man who summarised the story from Acts Chapter 2 so innaccurately, that if the first 2 points didn't make you question everything he said, this would. I guess like most Mormons, he read Smitty's sequel 50 million times, and never bothered much with "Volume 1 - The Bible". #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #096 Mosiah 11: WTF is Ziff? ** :: The Excitment of Dead Action Role Play in Mormon Temples :: Brother Jones tells about a new "big fuck-all temple" being built near him, lit up at night with what sounds like a headache inducing amount of light. Brother Benjamin and Brother Jones recall their personal experiences in Mormon temples. Jones specifically tells how when LARPing in a temple for the deceased (or is that DARPing?), the rituals are completed in sections, and done in batches. and the LARP includes sitting through a 3 hour video in one part! Sister Gigi asks ChatGPT3 to improve The Book of Mormon. And, no surprises... It does! Joseph Smith visits his iniquities. And the team try to work out what "ziff" is (Mosiah 11 verses 3 and 8). #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #095 Roasting Saints 15 ** :: Dying Alone on Video Chat :: We're really treated this week on "Saints" episode 15. Elder J Devin Cornish, from the Quorum of the Seventy, lends his sleep inducing voice to the inane rhetoric. If only he'd let Sarah Eyring say more, instead of overtalking her. I mean, it still would have been rhetoric, but it would have sounded beautiful, at least to Sister Patience. The Elder references the wrong scripture as inspiration for Doctrine And Covenants 76. He mentions John 5:39, but he mixed it up with John 5:29. One character different. Very different content though. Guess he was speaking "as a man" there and not "from God". Here are the two verses from the King Jimmy version: John 5:39 ~ "Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me." John 5:29 ~ "And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation." Smitty and Rigdon invent group improvisation, and "yes-and" themselves to D&C 76. William McLellin gets "dragged" by the "Saints" hosts for: Questioning Joseph. Leaving his mission early. Marrying instead of completing his mission. Accompanying (or leading?) a company of 100 Mormons to settle in Jackson County against Smitty's wishes. Buying land from the Government directly, instead of participating in Smitty's Communism Scheme called "The Law of Consecration". Rigdon literally gets dragged, and along with with Joseph is assaulted by a mob, in a disgusting display of vigilante "justice". The assaulted had been shitty; and in the absence of better law-enforcement, the assaulters felt permitted to punish them with emotionally fuelled violence. That's the wrong way to address grievances in ANY era. Shitty people on all sides. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #094 Mosiah 10: 2 Percent Hope ** :: Your study guide to walking away from Joseph Smith's cult. :: Mosiah 10 is so stupid. True believers have read this horseshit a billion times, but they're clearly not really READING it. It is its own worst enemy! :: Key Stupidities: :: In verse 6, Smitty incorrectly uses the word "rebellion". The ruling people cannot rebel against the ruled. Zeniff dies, and his parting words to us in verse 22 include: "And now I, being old, did confer the kingdom upon one of my sons; therefore, I say no more." If you were writing important history, that sentence should have read, "I confered my kingdom upon my son, Noah." It's even less words. Why would a king not tell us which son he crowned? Their lineage is very important to them! Sister Patience calculates Zeniff's age at 54 when the "rebellion" happened. And there can't really be anyone in his "city", much older than him. So where are all these old men that he summoned to fight in verse 9? Joseph was clearly having an absent minded day of "translating" because, the last two-thirds of the chapter is littered with the confusing overuse of personal pronouns. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #093 Roasting Saints 14 ** :: The Unprofound Guide to Revelating Coherantly :: As we amuse ourselves with the 14th installment of the "Saints" podcast, we find ourselves reading a few passages from the first anti-Mormon book: Mormonism Unvailed. That's not a typo! Hear Lucy and Abigail Harris' opinion of Martin! The book is from 1834, and can be read online here: https://archive.org/details/MormonismUnvailed1834/ The book was referenced in the episode, and contains a side of the story that even ex-mormons may not have heard. :: Other Topics: :: Ezra Booth, the tenacious ex-mormon who was a thorn in Smitty's side! Letters that he wrote are included in "Mormonism Unvailed". What will Sister Wendy do when Rusty dies? Incase anyone is interested, the music played under the reading is from a Gilbert and Sullivan Comic Opera called "Patience". The artwork for the episode is a photo of Lillian Russell who played the title role in an 1882 production in New York. Sister Patience has not seen this musical yet, but while searching for something spritely it stood out. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #092 Mosiah 9 Isn't Fine ** :: Joseph Smith makes us seasick as he jumps around in time. :: Smitty decides to go back and tell us another implausible story about Zeniff: a man who still seems to get lost in the wilderness after being lost in the same wilderness before. What a leader. Brother Jones and Sister Patience discuss Karianne Lisonbee, the Utah House Rep (and Mormon) who trusts women (to limit their intake of semen). Something she never did as she polluted the world with her 6 homeschooled spawn. https://www.sltrib.com/news/politics/2022/11/10/heres-who-utah-senate-democrats/ We get some figures to backup Prophet Nelson's Potempkin Temples: he's announced 118, only 2 of those are open. https://www.deseret.com/faith/2022/11/6/23411363/how-many-lds-mormon-church-temples-announced-by-president-nelson-open/ El-duhhh Christofferson wants the believers to pump their spiritual muscles, and try really HARD not to read the entire article as a euphemism. https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders/2022/10/27/23426589/elder-christofferson-ysa-devotional-cedar-city-institute-muscular-christians/ Rusty says "We will build temples. You will build people prepared to enter them." Ahaha, really Rusty? The photos are hilarious. Everyone looks so depressed. Rusty talks about the internet, and he really shouldn't. https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders/2022/11/13/23457052/president-nelson-nevada-devotional-temple-preparation-president-ballard/ #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #091 Cooking the Silly Book ** :: Just add chalk and cheese. :: Sister Patience hosts a watch party for the 60 Minutes expose of Australian LDS tax practices titled "Cooking the Book of Mormon". 60 Minutes managed to say very little in 19 minutes of presentation, but what they did say was noteworthy. We probably have not heard the end of this story! Want to be part of a watch party in the future? Let us know! Our DMs are open. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #090 Mosiah 8: Lesbian Wedding Cake ** :: Lost in a land which had been peopled with a err... people. :: Brother Jones and Sister Patience tackle crunchy Mormon related news stories. Then they relax with the silliness of Mosiah 8. How did Joseph Smith not feel embarrassed, with the conspicuous way he wrote himself into this chapter? Astounding! :: Highlights :: Should horrible people be allowed to be horrible if they're not hurting anyone? The Hilarious Modern Mormon Myopia with Monogamy. Hmmmm. Brother Jones tells how he met Jesus (well, the actor that played him anyway...) Smitty warns his followers to stop trying to play with his "interpreters". #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #089 Roasting Rusty Nails ** :: Temples, Temples, Temples! :: Today we make fun of LDS church president/prophet/seer: Russel Nelson. Based on his speeches at the October 2022 LDS General Conference. :: Highlights :: The sound of Silky Misogyny. The Temples-Temples-Temples song! The hilarious confusion of Rusty's speech on "Rest". The preview Rusty showed at General Conference of Season 4 of the Book of Mormon video series. Too funny! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #088 Mosiah 7 ** :: Friendship isn't General Conference :: Ammon and his "strong and mighty men" become lost in the wilderness. After 40 days without women they realise: it's not gay if they're underway (Mosiah 7:5). Smitty takes innane analogies to the next level with his Whirlwind of Poison (Mosiah 7:30). Sister Patience is surprised to learn that the Mormon General Conference is held twice a year. The Exmos tell her tales of how their families survived these sleep inducing events. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #087 Roasting Saints 13 ** :: A Partridge in a Prickly Pear Tree :: Today we listen to Saints episode 13, and roast it until charred. How can you tell if a prophet is speaking as a regular human, or as a prophet? At what point are they just false prophets? Mormonism doesn't know, so it's no wonder Smitty could swindle his way to the top, even when his revelations were repeatedly shown to be undevine. :: Key Comments: :: Leman Copley leaves the church, and tells the commie Mormons mooching off his land, to get out of his yard! Smitty keeps moving where God tells him "Zion" will be. So now we have "Zions". But the truth is, Smitty was not a prophet, and was a con-man. Seeing is not believing. Ezra Booth apparently joined Joseph Smith's crew because he saw him heal someone's arm. But Ezra clearly held prophets to higher standards than some of his peers. When Smitty's revelations didn't hold water, Ezra left the church. I guess he re-evaluated what once seemed like proof, to be much less. Joseph gets served some truth while canooing with "friends". #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #086 Christianese Proto-Waffle ** :: And it came to pass that Genetics says nayyyyy :: Brother Jones makes some shitty waffles. Smitty narrates his character of King Benjamin waffling-on, like a drunk telling a disorganised story recursively. I wonder why? We discuss the Founder Effect: the loss of genetic variation observable in isolated people groups established by very few "founders". Because they are isolated, the groups receive little or no new genetic information over time, from the larger population they are isolated from. The term is often used when the isolating factor is geographical, but the effect holds true when the reason is social (including religious). Infamously obvious in the birth defects of inbred royal families, such as the Habsburgs of the middle-ages. Much less pronounced, the effect has been cited as the cause of skeletal birth anomalies amongst the Amish of the United States. And as we discuss, the founder effect created by ye olde polygamous Mormon families cannot be doing anything good for their health. Especially when young men have a tendency to be excommunicated, and patriarchs collect wives like they are trapping Pokemon. :: Other High or Low lights: :: Jesus gives the best head (Mosiah 5:8). The dire consequences for amnesia (Mosiah 5:9-12). Smitty doesn't remember the 70000 Israelis that died the last time a Jewish king tried to take a census (2 Samuel 24), and narrates his King Benji character taking a roll call (Mosiah 6:1). King Benji remembers the people had houses after keeping them impractically in tents for no reason (Mosiah 6:3). #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #085 Roasting Saints 12: Disneyland on Crack ** :: And the beer tastes better in Utah :: Sister Divchina joins us once again, to tell us about her recent tour of historical Mormon landmarks! We debate the pros / cons of de-regulating marriage to the point of zero government involvement, no legal meaning, and the implications of that. Oh, and we have some fun with Saints episode 12 too. :: Trip Highlights: :: Beer tasting at a Utah brewery. Covering those bare shoulders, and blending in at Deseret Books. The statue of a beehive, that looked oddly phalic. Visiting Nauvoo, and experiencing the sideshow of Mormon sects forced to get along. :: Other discussions: :: The heavenly and physical unpaid labour of women. How fence in / fence out laws influenced the development of Salt Lake City. The lamest Mormon celebration ever - waving a white hanky around at the opening of a temple. AKA The Wanky Hanky. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #084 Mosiah 4: Indiana Joseph ** :: And the ventriloquist king! :: Indiana Joseph wants us to know that King Benji, and his silly angel are not ventriloquists. But primarily, he wants your stuff. All your stuff. And he wants you to BELIEVE so hard you might get a Cher song stuck in your head. Coz none of Mosiah 4 will stay with you. It's teflon coated, and says nothing new. It's pure rambling. #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.

** #083 Roasting Saints 11: In the Morridor... ** :: ...there is evil that does not sleep :: In the early years of the land of small government, Mormonism is so toxic, that the government steps in and tells the door-to-door Mormon salesmen to fuck all the way off. Oh, and so does Abigail Williams! Smitty rides into town, swinging his massive dick around, and Sidney Rigdon knows he can't measure up. So he puts his member away, and hands his members over to Smitty. :: Other Discussions: :: C'mon lawyers, get those class action suits against the LDS corporation in, help compensate victims, and let's bankrupt this mofo. Arizona: the crotch of Utah. The Morridor: a column of land choc-full of Mormons from Rexburg in Idaho, to Phoenix in Arizona. There is wickedness there that does not sleep. As a kid, Brother Jones' Boy Scouts troupe was so well lead by wilderness experts, that they only became lost in the mountains twice! #Reasons to stay home this Sunday# - https://bookofboredom.com/reasons/ #Join the Blasphemy# - https://facebook.com/groups/BookOfBoredom #Patreon (Bonus Episodes)# - https://patreon.com/BookOfBoredom #Twitter# - https://twitter.com/BookOfBoredom #TikTok# - https://tiktok.com/@BookOfBoredomPodcast #Instagram# - https://instagram.com/BookOfBoredomPodcast #YouTube# - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMjDavWoT73Cev3IAie_XBA #Website# - https://bookofboredom.com/ A nice review on any podcast platform will help frustrate the Heavenly Father's boring plans for your future.