The Adoption Connection | a podcast by and for adoptive parents

This week we answer listener questions such as: How do you talk about love from birth parents when there's been extensive abuse? How do you address psychosomatic symptoms in your child? Is the new book helpful for other caregivers who interact with my child?

Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion. You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s like your heart seems to have left the relationship. But the good news is you are not a bad parent. You can heal from blocked care, and compassion can be rekindled in your heart.

Your attachment style impact ALL relationships in your life - including your relationship with God. Learn how your attachment style impacts your spiritual life, and how to take steps toward increased attachment security with God.

Hannah Strege is the first adopted frozen embryo in the world, adopted through the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption program at Nightlight Christian adoptions. She shares about the importance of adoptees knowing their origin story, how she navigates her open adoption, and how adoption impacts her identity. Hannah is a graduate student at Baylor University working on a Masters of Social Work degree. She hopes to some day open a private practice to counsel adoptees, placing families, and adopting families/couples throughout the lifelong adoption process.

This week we answer listener questions such as: When do you give consequences in your home? What do we do when the simple act of setting a boundary is a guarantee of conflict and disrespect? How can start facilitating a healthier attachment and decrease separation anxiety? What do we do if our son is sneaking out to spend time with his birth family?

Are there specific behaviors that get under your skin? Does your child know how to push your "buttons?" This week, Lisa reads excerpts from Chapter Two of The Connected Parent. Exploring how you were parented and your attachment style gives insight for why you react to your child the way you do.

Food challenges are common for children with early adversity. We often get questions regarding undereating, overeating, picky eating, hoarding, and sneaking.

A lot of children shut down when you try to directly correct behaviors or address fears and past experiences. Story, imagination, and play are great ways to tackle tough issues without starting a control battle with your kids. Join Imagination Specialists and veteran parents, Darren and Margie Fink to learn the four steps of bibliotherapy.

How can we help our kids navigate their identity, and sit with them in the unknowns of their story or the grief and loss that comes up? Jenn and Josh Hook offer don't shy away from the hard topics in this fantastic interview. They offer practical ideas for connecting across cultures and supporting your child's unique identity. We also talk about following your child's lead and honoring their grief process as they try to understand their story.

This week we answer listener questions such as: What do you do when not everyone in the family wants to foster/adopt anymore? What if one of our kids isn't accepting a newly adopted sibling? What do you do when a child always wants to pick an option not on the list when given two choices? Is anything we're doing making a difference?

With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2022 we thought it would be fun to recap the year. What we learned. When we experienced God's kindness. What we're excited about in 2023.

Kids are growing up in a world of worry today. Anxiety, in fact, is a childhood epidemic, effecting 1 out of every 4 children. Kids of all ages feel pressure...from the expectations around them, inside of them, and even, unknowingly, from us. What can we do to slow the epidemic for kids, in general? And, even more importantly, what can you do to calm the worry-related meltdowns and help your child find the confidence to fight his or her own brand of Worry Monster?

Listen in as Lisa talks with two single moms about their experiences of becoming adoptive parents. Susan chose international adoption. Britani became an adoptive mom through a kinship care foster placement. They speak candidly about the blessings and challenges of being a single adoptive mom and where they find the support they need.

No one likes to fail. But kids with learning differences feel like they’re failing a lot. They always feel like they’re running to catch up with their same-aged peers. Over time, they’re self-esteem sinks lower and lower. Kids with learning differences are painfully aware of the gap between them and their peers. They may struggle socially as a well as academically. As parents, it’s hard to watch our kids struggle with shame and low self-esteem. We want them to walk with their heads held high and know they can contribute to the world. Keep these tips in mind when parenting your child with learning differences.

This week we answer listener questions about surviving the holidays: How do I balance the kids' need for downtime with the anxiety that comes with unscheduled time? How do you avoid dysregulation over gifts? Do you have ideas for festive foods that aren't full of sugar? Any tips on being present, feeling joy, and not resenting what's coming?

Do you feel isolated or alone in your parenting journey? Do you have trouble connecting with other parents because they don't seem to understand your life? We're celebrating our 200th episode with some friends from The Village, our monthly membership community. They share why they joined and why they stay. They share diversity in how they came to adoption (including kinship) and in their experiences (a dad, a single mom, etc.), but they all agree that there's power in community. They also share some sweet words of encouragement as we close, so make sure to listen to the end!

Dealing with frequent and intense meltdowns in preschool and school-aged children can be exhausting! Sometimes they are due to sensory processing challenges. The human brain processes 11 million bits of information every second, which comes in through our eight (not five) senses. Neurodivergence and trauma can bias the brain toward quick, defensive reactions to all that sensory input. This often leads to frustrating behaviors and learning disruptions. This workshop will provide some eye-opening sensory basics in a child-friendly format along with practical takeaways that can be integrated into your busy day.

When your adoption journey is different than what you expected, there are a lot of ambiguous losses to grieve. Every parent will process and experience grief individually and on their own timeline. This week, Lisa shares five ways to hold onto your marriage, even if grief seems to be tearing you apart.

Every adoptee experiences their story through a unique lens. This week, we welcome adoptee, Jennifer Dyan Ghoston, who hosts the podcast series Once Upon a Time in Adopteeland.

This week we answer listener questions such as: How can I be compassionate towards my child's behaviors without letting them fall into victimhood? Is my bar too low? Will my transracially adopted child feel more isolated if he's the only person of color in our family? What are the pros and cons of Job Corps for older teens?

Patrick and Melissa have two kids by birth, four through adoption, and a live-in granddaughter. They’ve weathered adopting out of birth order, child on parent violence, out-of-home placement, PTSD, and becoming grandparents in their thirties. In this episode, they’ll talk candidly about the secret to maintaining a strong marriage when parenting (and life) is hard.

No parent enjoys a tantrum. Kids don’t either. It never feels good to have such big feelings that they come out in crying, yelling, kicking, stomping, throwing, or whatever else makes up a meltdown for your child. Over the years, we’ve gathered a bag of tricks. It’s important to have many options up your sleeve because there’s a good chance something will only work once in a while and never twice in a row.

Saying "yes" to fostering kids often stretches us in ways we never imagined. Jillana Goble is an author, advocate, non-profit founder, and—with her husband, Luke—parent of five children ranging in to age from pre-teen to adult. With honesty, faith and a dose of humor, her debut memoir, A Love-Stretched Life, chronicles what she’s continually learning on the suspension bridge. This week, Jillana joins Lisa to talk about grief, unexpected twists, and blessings during her journey.

This week we answer listener questions such as: *What do you do on days you don’t want to be around your children because you're not in a good place yourself? *How do I handle my child withholding hugs from me when they hug everybody else? *When do you call the police when your teen runs away?

We hate it when our kids lie to us; it’s annoying, frustrating and scary. In this workshop replay, you will discover insights from the scriptures and brain science to help you respond well to this challenging behavior. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Email Karen at karen@aceadvocacy.net Parenting After Trauma Podcast with Robyn Gobbel Let's Talk about Lying (ETC Podcast Episode) Cindy Lee YouTube video on lying Anchored: A Bible Study on Self-Worth* by Cindy Lee Parenting from the Inside Out* by Dan Siegel Join The Village for future workshops (use code: podcast) *This is an affiliate link

Is your experience of parenting children with early trauma turning out the way you expected? Or is it vastly different from what you imagined? If you are experiencing a gap between what you imagined and your reality and feeling discouraged, you are not alone. In this episode, Lisa shares seven things to help you keep your hope alive. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Join the Village (use code podcast)

Most of know about adoption through foster care or private, infant adoption. But what do you know about embryo adoption? Rachel and her husband, Evan, have four children who all joined their family through adoption. Their youngest son joined their family through embryo adoption. Rachel has worked in adoption support, directing family camps, retreats for foster and adoptive moms, and other support and training events for the last 10 years but she has recently opened a travel agency, Bell Travel Co., that specializes in travel for families and also individuals with food allergies and special needs. Rachel and her family live in Conway, Arkansas. During this episode, we talk about the embryo adoption process as well as what it's like to have an open adoption with their son's genetic family. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Bell Travel Co.  

This week we answer listener questions such as: * How do you help kids handle sudden changes to routine? * How do we hold our son responsible for destruction of property? * How can we help our kids process grief when a loved one dies? Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Tear Soup book* The Invisible String book* Join The Village   (use code podcast) *This is an affiliate link    

Students impacted by trauma, early adversity, and chronic stress often struggle in classroom and education environments. Many adopted children qualify for an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or 504 Plan, but it can be tricky to find the accommodations that will help your child be successful. In this episode, you will learn: * How to know when your child needs an IEP or 504. * Which accommodations are best. * How to advocate for your child and navigate meetings effectively. Adoptive mom and SEAT-trained education advocate, Karen Yingling brings a wealth of experience to her role as a parent advocate. Her background includes facilitating the partnering process of multi million dollar public construction projects to bring together teams members towards a cohesive and shared objective of successful project delivery. She spent three years on the administration management team of a K-12 school working with parents and staff and training staff on trauma informed school practices. She has specialty training in parenting children with a trauma history. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Email Karen at karen@aceadvocacy.net #182: [workshop] Speech & Language Development After Trauma with Cara Mohundro #101: Creating Adoption-Sensitive Classrooms with Joelle Broberg Trauma Sensitive Schools Join The Village for future workshops (use code: podcast)

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. Have you ever wondered why you think the way you think about life or parenting, or react the way you react to certain situations (say, your child's behavior, for example)? Often times, we can feel shame over our reactions, or emotions as caregivers. But what if we could find clear answers to our functionality? Enter the Enneagram! You may know that the Enneagram is a system of personality typing that describes patterns in how people interpret the world and manage their emotions. But did you know that the Enneagram can greatly benefit us as caregivers because it gives us unique insight into our personality types and how we interact with the world around us. Click here to download a transcript of this episode. Relevant Links This episode first appeared at https://honestlyadoption.com/how-the-enneagram-can-help-us-become-better-parents/ Join the Village (use code podcast)