Dear White Women

This episode is for all of you who may think: “My vote doesn’t matter.” “I don’t vote.” “I would get involved but I don’t know how or where to volunteer.” “I don’t have any special election-related skills.” Or anything along those lines. You may have even said this out loud, or you may have heard friends or family say this. Either way, this is for you. We said in our email this week that we were getting ready to dive into Election 2024 - because “I’m not political” or “I don’t talk about politics” is NOT going to cut it; these days, politics is invading our libraries, schools, wallets and bodies and those of our children as well.    So we bring you an incredible activist and supporter of activists, who will leave you with not only the best approach to engage people in your life who say they don’t do politics but also a bunch of organizations you can get involved with between now and November that we think will make a huge difference to the trajectory of our nation. PS, if you aren’t yet on our email list, what are you thinking!?  Get on it!  Register at www.dearwhitewomen.com.  What to listen for:  How do you respond when someone says they won’t be voting?  Ask lots more questions. Organizations to consider getting involved with:  Working Parties Family: https://workingfamilies.org/about/  Swing Left: https://swingleft.org/  Sister District for state races: https://sisterdistrict.com/  Northeast Arizona Native Democrats: https://neaznativedemocrats.org/  Vote Forward: https://votefwd.org/  Your local state election office to volunteer to be poll workers Or check out https://866ourvote.org/ to find out more information about voting and to volunteer to protect the vote and the electoral process A free Social Media Care & Resilience Pocket Zine for you!  The margin of effort – i.e. just how close so many critical elections were, meaning that your effort can potentially make a TREMENDOUS difference to the outcome of an election. The post-election recovery session online that Sam will be co-hosting About our guest: Sam Chavez is a queer, Latine, New Mexican American activist who’s passionate about a livable planet, belonging, and equitable societies. She founded The Roots of Change Agency to harness her storytelling and decades of marketing experience to cultivate connections that lead to lasting social change. She does this through strategic coaching, workshops, podcasting, and writing.   

9/10/24 • 30:16

What comes to your mind when you picture someone who’s resilient?  Usually, we hear that it’s one person who’s faced a setback, and they remain hopeful and willing to work through the challenges to return to some sort of life they had before. Maybe you’ve heard the phrase “pick themselves up by their bootstraps” to describe this type of person. We know we have. But that doesn’t always work, as we continually say.  We have a guest today who’s going to help us critically examine that image we have - and help us understand what we’re missing.  She’ll tell us we need to think critically about when it comes to glorifying resilience, especially if we’re doing it for individual gain or to showcase individual strength, without realizing that the opposite of resilience is loneliness – we have to remember the communal and community contribution to the ability to be resilient. We’re at a time in history where it feels - no matter your perspective - like the world is burning down around us. We want to trust that we will still be standing. To do it, we need to know when to be optimistic and when to be strategically pessimistic, not beat ourselves up when we’re coming up against moral injury, embrace certain ways of thinking - cognitive flexibility, for those who want the big words - and hold onto hope for the collective, above all.   What to listen for: The inaccurate understanding Americans have of resilience – and how it needs to shift from an individual to a collective focus: the opposite of resilience is loneliness.  The mind-blowing study that shows us social status matter – and reexamining preconceptions and research in positive psychology, male-focused hardiness, and more. Rethinking popular portrayals of the upcoming generation – that, maybe, “younger people aren’t distressed because they lack the right mindset or don’t understand what is happening around them. They are distressed because the world is distressing, and adults have failed them.”  How do we find hope when it feels like the world is burning around us? Have openness to difference, openness to change, and acceptance of limits.  About Soraya:  Soraya Chemaly is an award-winning author and activist. As a cultural critic, she writes and speaks frequently about gender norms, social justice, free speech, sexualized violence, politics, and technology. The former Executive Director of The Representation Project and Director and co-founder of the Women’s Media Center Speech Project, she has long been committed to expanding women’s civic and political participation. Soraya is also the author of The Resilience Myth: New Thinking on Grit, Strength, and Growth after Trauma, a thought-provoking exploration that challenges our most dearly held, common myths of resilience and urges us to shift our perspective from prioritizing individualized traits and skills to uplifting collective care and open-ended connections with our communities. Her first book, Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women’s Anger, was recognized as a Best Book of 2018 by the Washington Post, Fast Company, Psychology Today, and NPR and has been translated into multiple languages. She is a contributor to several anthologies, most recently Free Speech in the Digital Age and Believe Me: How Trusting Women Can Change The World.  Soraya is also a co-producer of a WMC #NameItChangeIt PSA highlighting the effects of online harassment on women in politics in America.  Her work is featured widely in media, documentaries, books, and academic research. As an activist, Ms. Chemaly also spearheaded several successful global campaigns challenging corporations to address online hate and harassment, restrictive content moderation and censorship, and institutional biases that undermine equity and negatively affect free speech. Prior to 2010, Ms. Chemaly spent more than fifteen years as an executive and consultant in the media and data technology industries.  

8/27/24 • 43:21

Most of us say we’d speak up and do the right thing - that we’d not conform to horrible societal standards.  We hear that, for example, when people speak about what happened during World War II in Europe. Would you have been part of the Resistance, knowing that the risk included not only social shunning but indeed death? But we also hear that so many of you have a hard time speaking up when it comes to interrupting moments of racism, sexism, misogyny, ageism, homophobia - I mean, it can be really intimidating to use your voice.  Like, you *want* to do the right thing, but feel like you don’t have all the information, don’t know what to say, what the repercussions might be, for example. We’re here to say that if there ever was a time for us to use our voice - from interrupting with people who want to take away other people’s rights, to promoting equity, looking out for ourselves by getting what we need from relationships and communities, and using our right to vote in the voting booths this fall (because yes, a vote can be your voice as well) - now is the time. We’re so grateful we get to bring you a meaningful and practical conversation that can help you reframe your understanding of why we become silent - and how to unlearn all of that intentionally, so we can start using our powerful voices again.   What to listen for: Shocking stats: “Kids ask roughly 125 questions per day. Adults ask about 6 questions per day. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood, we silence our curiosity.” What are the ramifications of becoming silent, especially with a 2024 lens? The three questions that each of us - intentionally or not - wrestle with around voice vs. silence: What are the costs of choosing voice? What are the benefits of staying silent? Given the costs and benefits of each, what makes sense to me? How being at a hyper-fast pace can not only lead us not to speak our minds, but lead us to silence others as well.  Tips around unlearning systemic silence, like asking who does this policy support and who does this policy silence or disadvantage?  About Elaine:   Elaine Lin Hering is a facilitator, writer, and speaker. She works with organizations and individuals to build skills in communication, collaboration, and conflict management. She has worked on six continents and facilitated executive education at Harvard, Dartmouth, Tufts, UC Berkeley, and UCLA. She is the former Advanced Training Director for the Harvard Mediation Program and a Lecturer on Law at Harvard Law School. She has worked with coal miners at BHP Billiton, micro-finance organizers in East Africa, mental health professionals in China, and senior leadership at the US Department of Commerce. Her clients include American Express, Chevron, Google, Nike, Novartis, PayPal, Pixar, and the Red Cross. She is the author of the USA Today Bestselling book Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More Fully (Penguin, 2024).

8/13/24 • 33:32

We’re going to be sharing this episode today, which if you’re listening in real-time, is shortly after President Biden stepped aside, not accepting the Democratic nomination and instead, getting behind his VP Kamala Harris - our country’s first female VP, and first Asian and Black VP as well.    Today’s episode is focused on acknowledging the contributions of people who came before Ruby Bridges, who we all think of when we think of school integration.  Little did we know that back in 1868 in Iowa, there was a young Black teen who was actually the first known person to integrate a school.  What would happen if we all read children books that included the story of Susan Clark?  How would knowing about our country’s real history, with all its nuances, false starts, hope, and persistence change our understanding of where we are as a country today - and what it really will take to move it forward into a more tolerant, accepting, integrated, supportive, community-driven nation? Maybe it would teach us that history isn’t linear, that backlashes do happen, but that the desire to fight is a sign that we all still hold onto hope, which is really what we need collectively now.   What to listen for: What’s so important about understanding real history - in particular, the contribution of girls and women What the story of Susan Clark tells us about how change does NOT come easily, does not come linearly, and that history repeats itself. Why this story was written as a children’s book About Joshalyn: Joshalyn Hickey-Johnson, aka Ms. Rocki, was born and raised in Waterloo, Iowa, and attended Waterloo public schools. She is the mother of two and grandmother of seven. Ms. Rocki took on the challenge of working a traditionally male job at Viking Pump in Cedar Falls, Iowa, and worked there for 30 years. She began writing books featuring real-life experiences from her children’s lives as they were growing up. Her debut book, “GOOD MORNING, LOVEY!” was published in 2005, followed by “Travis It’s NOT Your Birthday!” in 2008. She partnered with Chaveevah Ferguson, serving as a publicist with BaHar Publishing, the first African-American-owned book publishing company in Iowa. She co-authored “Ropes In The Kitchen” with her father, Naaman ‘Jock’ Hickey. Ms. Rocki started NORTH END UPDATE, a weekly live interactive show highlighting good things in her local community and featured on Iowa Public Television’s “Greetings from Iowa.” Since 2017, she has worked on the show with her best friend and co-host Chaveevah. Ms. Rocki recently hosted Iowa PBS’s “Juneteenth: THE MOVEMENT.”

7/30/24 • 20:52

So we’ve spoken inspirationally and aspirationally about wellbeing, the power of the pause, about spirituality. But what if my brain is still going, but I can’t wrap my head around this all – I need some more structure, some more tools, some more intellectual perspective!? We’ve got a book for you!  And if you’ve been a longtime listener to the podcast, you know that we very rarely do repeat guests, unless we (a) love them and (b) feel like they’ve got another message to bring to our community.  Dr. Sue Varma fits the bill for both, and so much more. We’re bringing her back to talk about her new book, Practical Optimism, with excellent frameworks around well-being, how to survive this rollercoaster of a year, and so much more. What to listen for:  A three-point framework on how to make (tough) decisions The importance of balancing a life of purpose with a life of joy - yes, busy women, even us! That scale imagery got us…  Practical ways to challenge ourselves when we’re not seeing things clearly How culture plays into our lives and our sense of belonging About Sue: Dr. Sue Varma, one of the nation's foremost mental health authorities, is truly a multidimensional expert. Dr. Varma is an esteemed physician and board-certified psychiatrist practicing in Manhattan for over twenty years, specializing in cognitive behavioral therapy, psychopharmacology, and couples counseling. She is a nationally acclaimed medical commentator and has been at the forefront of some of the most important mental health conversations of the day. From breaking news and documentaries to primetime specials across the major networks, Dr. Varma has been a long-time contributor to the Today Show, CBS Mornings, Nightly News, GMA and has given over 2000 media interviews over the last two decades and has been featured in Washington Post, Time Magazine, NY Times, and numerous health and wellness magazines. Dr Varma is a media advisor and consultant to medical organizations and news groups,  and an internationally renowned keynote speaker across industries. She is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at NYU Grossman School of Medicine.  Dr. Varma’s dedication to mental health is underscored by her pioneering role as the inaugural medical director and psychiatrist of the esteemed 9/11 mental health program at NYU, for which she was awarded a Mayoral Proclamation. She is a two-time Sharecare Emmy Award recipient, the Ivan Goldberg Public Service Award and is a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association (APA), the highest distinction bestowed upon its members. Dr. Varma  was recognized as one of the world’s top five leading health experts by Global Citizen for her contributions during the pandemic. Her new book, Practical Optimism: The Art, Science and Practice of Exceptional Well Being, has not only been resonating with readers in the U.S with rave reviews- Publishers Weekly says "Readers don’t have to bury their heads in the sand to live 'fully and joyfully' in an imperfect world, promises psychiatrist Varma in her buoyant debut." and "Studded with catchy pearls of wisdom, this can-do guide uplifts. Practical Optimism, now available everywhere, was featured in the NY Times twice this year and is now being translated into more than nine languages worldwide.     Website: www.doctorsuevarma.com, IG @doctorsuevarma, Book: Practical Optimism   

7/16/24 • 26:42

In the five-plus years of the podcast, I’d say that we have spent a LOT of time on various “hot button” issues - I mean, we live quite squarely in the ones that surround race and identity, wouldn’t you say? - but one of the facets of identity that we don’t often explore is that of religion. Not because we don’t want to talk about it, but a lot of times the opportunity doesn’t really present itself. That’s why we were so excited to talk to one of the authors of Healing Our Way Home, a new book that addresses white supremacy and identity through the lens of Black Buddhist teachings.  What started out as a series of conversations between three practitioners morphed into a whole book, focusing on self-care and Buddhist teachings with the goal of collective liberation in mind, but in a way that’s totally different than what we’ve seen out there thus far.  Can’t wait for you all to listen and learn more.   What to listen for: A brief explanation of the Buddhist history and teachings What it was like knowing Zen Master Thich Nhat Han Three powerful questions we should all be asking ourselves, as we work to remain centered in our own selves while experiencing the world in its current poly-crisis state. About the authors:    KAIRA JEWEL LINGO is a Dharma teacher with a lifelong interest in spirituality and social justice. Her work continues the Engaged Buddhism developed by Thich Nhat Hanh, and she draws inspiration from her parents’ lives of service and her dad’s work with Martin Luther King, Jr. After living as an ordained nun for 15 years in Thich Nhat Hanh’s monastic community, Kaira Jewel now teaches internationally in the Zen lineage and the Vipassana tradition, as well as in secular mindfulness, at the intersection of racial, climate and social justice with a focus on activists, Black, Indigenous, and People of Color, artists, educators, families, and youth. Based in New York, she offers spiritual mentoring to groups and is the author of We Were Made for These Times: Ten Lessons in Moving through Change, Loss and Disruption and co-author of the forthcoming, Healing Our Way Home: Black Buddhist Teachings on Ancestors, Joy and Liberation (Feb 2024) from Parallax Press. Her teachings and writings can be found at www.kairajewel.com.   VALERIE BROWN, True Sangha Power (pronouns she/her), is a Dharma teacher in the Plum Village tradition, ordained in 2018, and a member of Religious Society of Friends. She transformed her twenty-year, high-pressure career as a lawyer-lobbyist into human-scale, social-equity-centered work, guiding leaders and organizations to foster greater understanding, authenticity, compassion, and trust.   MARISELA B. GOMEZ is a co-founder of Village of Love and Resistance in Baltimore Maryland, organizing for power, healing, and the reclamation of land. She is a meditation and Buddhist teacher, physician-scientist, and holistic health practitioner. She lives in the lands previously stewarded by the Piscataway, Lumbi, and other tribes, colonized as Baltimore Maryland in the USA. She is the author of Race, Class, Power, and Organizing in East Baltimore along with other scholarly, political, and spiritual writings. For more information: https://www.parallax.org/product/healing-our-way-home/ 

7/2/24 • 34:54

This one goes out to all the busy women in our community. Whether you’re a Type-A, a Recovering Type-A, a paid working mom or a working mom in the home - we hear it over and over again: we women are feeling stretched super thin, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Enter a radical mindset shift: the power of rest. We’re excited to bring you a conversation with Kibi Anderson, who drops brilliant reframing of what we think of as rest (it’s not always what we’ve been led to believe) and other life advice that helped us breathe a little better.     What to listen for Kibi’s story to becoming the Rested Rebel! What is rest? Anything that gives you joy, moving from me-care to we-care.  Other life advice including not to take things personally, and not to make assumptions - from The Four Agreements.  All about the multi-author book, Point Taken, that Kibi was part of, and why you should buy a friend a copy. About Kibi Kibi Anderson is an author, coach, keynote speaker, and Emmy Award-winning content producer. She is a graduate of Harvard College and NYU Stern Business School, and the founder of Life Editor, a firm providing communications and leadership coaching to C-Suite & Senior Leaders. She has helped drive millions of dollars in annual revenue, created international content campaigns, and offered counsel to global Fortune 100 and startup clients. She has traversed an illustrious career in international management consulting, film production, and technology entrepreneurship while also managing a chronic auto-immune condition. She believes and teaches that the key to ultimate professional success is not through working harder, but embracing the power in the pause.  

6/18/24 • 23:24

I don’t know that there’s a better book and conversation to kick off our summer author series with than this one. We’ve said for a while now that there’s a benefit to applying a psychological, human-based lens to the social justice learning we’ve been sharing on this show for the last five years.    This conversation shows us why we are spending our summer talking about that bridge, which over the course of the next few months will center discussions about wellbeing, about the power of the pause, practical optimism, meditation, and more.    Because in the midst of such a turbulent, divided time, don’t you want to feel better?  With social psychologist Dolly Chugh, we’ll get into some beautiful stories that let us all remember there are times we prioritize comfort over discomfort – but that not knowing facts creates its own sense of discomfort too.  Why not join us in the learning and unlearning? What to listen for How unlearning is not just intellectual work, but emotional work too. The on-the-spot example that gamers might really relate to A brilliant takedown of nostalgia, which we all fall for, and the impact it can have  How to spot simplified fables (clear cause & effect, flawless heroes, good guys beating bad guys) to know when we need to be mindful when reflecting on history Apologies  About Dolly Dolly Chugh (she/her, hear my name) is an award-winning professor at the New York University Stern School of Business where she teaches MBA courses in leadership and management.  Her research focuses on “bounded ethicality”, which she describes as the “psychology of good people.”  She is the author of The Person You Mean to Be:  How Good People Fight Bias (HarperCollins, 2018), A More Just Future (Simon & Schuster, 2022), and the popular Dear Good People newsletter.  Dolly’s TED Talk was named one of the 25 Most Popular TED Talks of 2018 and currently has more than 5 million views. 

6/4/24 • 39:08

This episode is a continuation of last week’s episode, so if you haven’t already listened to that one (it should be right above this one in your podcast feed), stop and go listen now, as it will make the most sense when listened to in order. This week we pick up where we left off, with the remaining four independent dimensions of well-being: spiritual, vocational, financial, and environmental. Let’s just get right to it.   What to listen for? In today’s episode, we talk about the four remaining dimensions of wellness -  spiritual, vocational, financial and environmental; Trump’s support of extreme Christian viewpoints and his own view of himself as “The Chosen One” go against Constitutional and foundational principles of separation of church and state; Despite being the politician for “every man,” Trump dislikes unions (and the feeling is mutual) because he’s first and foremost his own supporter; Trump’s financial policies are aimed at making his own life (and those of the extremely wealthy) easier, whereas Biden’s economic policies helped all of us;  Trump is actively working to remove America from climate accords that will negatively impact our world and future generations (plus he doesn’t believe in climate change) How we can get involved to protect our own, and everyone else’s, wellbeing Link to last week’s episode HERE.

5/21/24 • 23:53

In our last episode, we went through reasons - issue by issue (not all of them, but a lot of them) - about why our freedom and democracy are at risk if you vote for Trump and he gets elected for president again in 2024.   In brief, things like his stance on immigration and making America a white-supremacist-centered nation; Ukraine and what that says about his desire to pander to the influence of outside nations; his hatred of the press and what that indicates about his desire to turn America into an authoritarian state; abortion, and what this means for every woman, mother, and person capable of bearing a child, including the freedom of families overall.  Notably, all through his own words because he’s been telling us what he’s going to do for years.   In today’s episode, we’re going inside (ourselves) to talk about wellness and thriving, and whether or not we value societies that make it possible for us to feel - and be - well. We’ll do this through the lens of a possible second Trump presidency, because we firmly believe that a second Trump presidency is bad for our well-being - mine and yours, both mentally and physically - and bad for us all, as human beings.   What to listen for? The eight dimensions of wellness/wellbeing (in today’s episode, we talk about four of them - physical, intellectual, emotional, and social); Trump’s policies that impact our physical well-being, including ACA and access to abortions; How Trump’s disbelief in scientific fact and restrictions around schooling harm go directly against building intellectual well-being, especially for our future generations; The emotional effects that we’re already feeling from a possible second term for Trump; and  How a Trump presidency could result in increased social isolation and divisiveness for our communities. In case you missed it, here’s the link to our last episode on the risks to our freedom and democracy:  https://www.dearwhitewomen.com/episodes/244-why-we-need-to-take-trump-at-his-word-dont-look-away

5/7/24 • 30:39

You know that person you know - the one who exaggerates everything? It’s kind of like that story of the blameless “boy who cried wolf” who lives in fantasy land and never takes responsibility for anything - and this person seemingly has not only the best life anyone could ever imagine, with loads of money, tons of friends, amazing vacations, but also, nothing ever seems to go wrong? (Instagram is a drug, friends). Now imagine that friend is running (again) for President of the United States. And that friend is bringing that energy into the race in the most destructive, divisive way possible, in which he’s only out for himself - which his statements prove every.single.day. Those statements that you would roll your eyes at and dismiss? Now, you no longer can, because those statements tell you who he is, and exactly what he plans to do if he gets re-elected (spoiler alert: it’s going to be hugely destructive to our lives as we know them, and most, if not all, of our freedoms that we take for granted.). You guessed it - we’re talking about Trump, and why we need to take him at his word. In other words, even though it’s painful - don’t look away. He’s giving us the blueprint of how a Trump presidency would be, and not only is it worse than last time, it will destroy our democracy and our freedom along with it.   What to listen for? Why we think the risk of having Trump in a second term is FAR more dangerous than having Biden. Looking specifically at the harms that will befall our country because of things like his views on:   Immigration and making America a white-supremacist-centered nation, Ukraine and what that says about his desire to pander to the influence of outside nations, His hatred of the press and what that indicates about his desire to turn America into an authoritarian state,  Violence, and how a deeper threat of control and violence will eventually impact every American citizen  Abortion, and what this means for every woman, mother, and person capable of bearing a child, including families overall.  Do not look away from the massive threat Trump poses for our country.  Link to Trump’s Authoritarian Playbook 2025: https://www.authoritarianplaybook2025.org/ Resources:  To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

4/23/24 • 38:52

This week marks the FIVE-YEAR anniversary of the Dear White Women podcast! That means we’ve outlasted almost all the other podcasts out there… like ya knew we would. From those first few episodes released altogether on April 15, 2019, to now… it’s been quite the ride.  This year, in order to kick off year SIX (!!!) of the podcast, we thought we’d devote an entire shorter episode to talking about not only the past five years but what we have in store for the future and that shot of hope for all of us.   What to listen for: How the podcast has evolved since its start in April 2019, including its history The stand-out episode from this past year   Our personal whys behind doing this for the past five years and how that may have shifted over time Where we think the Dear White Women platform goes from here About Sara & Misasha:   A graduate of Harvard College and Columbia Law School, Misasha Suzuki Graham (she/her) has been a practicing litigator for over 15 years, and is passionate about diversity, equity, and inclusion in the legal profession as well as in her communities. She is a facilitator, writer, and speaker regarding issues of racial justice, especially regarding children, the co-author of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and the co-host of Dear White Women, a social justice podcast. Misasha, who is biracial (Japanese and white), is married to a Black man and is the proud mom of two very active multiracial young boys. They live in the Bay Area of California with their largely indifferent cat. Sara Blanchard (she/her) helps build community and connection through conscious conversations, which she does as a facilitator, TEDx speaker, writer, and consultant. After graduating from Harvard and working at Goldman Sachs, Sara pursued the science and techniques of well-being and is a certified life coach, author of two books (Flex Mom and DearWhite Women: Let’s Get (Un)Comfortable Talking About Racism), and co-host of Dear White Women, an award-winning weekly social justice podcast. Sara is biracial (Japanese and white), married to a white Canadian man, and is raising their two white-presenting girls to be compassionate, thoughtful advocates. They live in Denver, Colorado with their incredibly lovable dog. To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list. Follow us on social media to continue the conversation!  

4/9/24 • 21:13

If you know us, you may know that we LOVE a good conversation - even if it’s uncomfortable or difficult. But this year, as we head into what seems to be ONLY conversations that are uncomfortable or difficult, how do we best do that? If the idea of even talking to someone now gives you pause, then this is the episode for you.  The connection quality of part of our conversation is a little iffy in places, but it’s worth listening to every moment of this episode.  Our guest today (a repeat guest at that!) talks us through the journey of compassionate dialogue, including practical tips on how to practice this in your next conversation, and how to do the inner work necessary to make this the default, rather than the exception, to your conversations in 2024 and beyond.   What to listen for: The compassionate dialogue structure includes the need to recognize, interrupt, and repair – and sometimes, we’re finding that recognizing our own emotions is the most challenging part!  The good/bad binary, and how it’s entirely unhelpful A powerful example of how to have difficult conversations around politics About Dr Dome:  Renowned speaker, author, and equity consultant Dr. Nancy Dome co-founded Epoch Education in 2014 to provide leaders in education and business with accessible professional development in diversity, inclusion and belonging, and equity. As an educator for nearly three decades, Dr. Dome taught in the juvenile court and community schools teaching our most vulnerable students, and has served as a Distinguished Teacher in Residence and faculty member at California State University San Marcos. Her transformative approach helps school districts and educational agencies throughout the country navigate complex topics, build bridges, and work together for inclusive, impactful change. She is the author of Let’s Talk About Race and Other Hard Things: A Framework for Having Conversations That Build Bridges, Strengthen Relationships, and Set Clear Boundaries and The Compassionate Dialogue Journey: A Workbook for Growth and Self-Discovery. For more information, visit www.epocheducation.com. To hear Dr. Dome’s previous episode on Dear White Women, listen to Episode 164: https://www.dearwhitewomen.com/episodes/164-how-we-talk-about-race-and-other-hard-things     Resources: To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list. Follow us on social media to continue the conversation!

3/26/24 • 32:51

“Oh, that’s so political.”  “We don’t talk about politics here.”  “Stop being so political.”    Have you heard that before, when someone brings up a topic that may have been mentioned in the news (or on social media)? Maybe you’ve even been the one that said it. But - have you ever heard it explained what exactly “political” means in this context? Or why shouldn't we talk about it?   We’d argue that there is no such thing as “political”. Or, conversely, perhaps EVERYTHING is political depending on who you are and how things affect you.   But regardless of why people feel things are too “political,” this is EXACTLY the year where we need to be doubling down on talking about all of those things, especially if you care about freedom - your own, in particular. Even if you disagree with us, please listen in - maybe we’ll provide some food for thought. Or maybe our viewpoints are not so far apart after all.   What to listen for: What people are really saying when they say, “stop being so political.”  Our freedom - military service, bodily autonomy, environment, and more - is at stake if we don’t get over our discomfort and start talking about the things that *really* matter.  The story of Little Johnny returns, to describe the parallel scenario of what’s happening with Trump and Putin. To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

3/12/24 • 20:02

If you’re listening to this episode around the time when it’s being released, then you’ll be listening to this right on the last day of Black History Month in the United States. It should go without saying that Black History is American History, but we’re going to say it anyway, and we’ll add that it shouldn’t be confined just to the shortest month of the year but instead should be taught to our kids every day of the year, and should be talked about by us as grownups by an equal amount.  This year, given where we are politically and nationally, we wanted to recognize another key day in February - February 19th. That’s the day when President Roosevelt signed Executive Order 9066, which forced 120,000 Japanese Americans (American citizens) to leave their homes and be relocated to concentration camps ON AMERICAN SOIL. They lost everything - their homes, their possessions, their businesses - but despite all of that, they fought to hold onto their dignity and as much of “normal life” as possible. Part of that normal life, for so many Japanese Americans, was the ultra-American pastime of baseball.   That’s exactly why we’re bringing you this episode today - an updated episode from last year where we talk about baseball, the Negro Leagues, and the history behind America’s favorite pastime - baseball - that you might not know, and probably weren’t taught in schools.   What to listen for: The story of how baseball bridged a racial divide during WWII between white and Japanese children. The separate (and decidedly not equal) conditions under which Black and white ballplayers had to play Names of some Black superstar baseball players who – if/when integrated into the Hall of Fame – would be as good or better than some of the MLB athletes we celebrate today How to talk with your kids, from kindergarten through high school, about this specific period of baseball in American history Resources:    Episode 50, Why Aren’t Black Kids Playing Baseball?   Visit the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum Society for AMerican Baseball Research – statistics We Are The Ship: The Story of Negro League Baseball A Negro League Scrapbook Mamie On The Mound Who Were The Negro Leagues? Undeniable: Negro League Women Undeniable: International Impact Undeniable: Jackie and Monte   To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

2/27/24 • 37:25

In honor of Presidents’ Day coming up next week, we thought we’d focus on president…ial immunity. See what we did there?  With this episode, we’re kicking off a new “why should we care about…” series on DWW where we focus on the WHY behind important issues, so that we go into November making the most informed decisions we can about the candidates AND their platforms. We’re keeping these relevant, funny, and light - but also impactful in how to understand why we need to care about these issues. So whether you (a) think you know everything you need to know about presidential immunity or (b) you don’t care or (c) who cares anyway because this is about Trump and he’s going to be the nominee anyway so what I think doesn’t even matter… or option (d), something else - this episode is a must listen. And then please share it with your friends.    What to listen for: The accessible parallel through our fictional fourth grader, Johnny, to show you how presidential immunity might work. The significance of the Fourteenth Amendment, and why it was written – the story of John B. Floyd, slave owner from Virginia who happened to be President James Buchanan’s secretary of war. Truth bombs like: “If we have a president who is exempt from prosecution for crimes committed in office, then we have a dictator. We no longer have a president. So if you care about democracy, you need to care about presidential immunity.” To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.  

2/13/24 • 18:26

You know when you have a conversation that provides you with a framework of a problem – one you may not have even known existed – and it opens your eyes in a whole new way? Yeah, today is one of those conversations.   Because it helps look at questions like this: Do we really know what freedom is? How about liberty? And if we don’t know what those concepts mean, how do we know if we’ve lost them? And what role does the carceral system have in all of this?   This might seem like a lot, but in a year in which we’re questioning everything - democracy and America, to name a few - if we don’t know what those concepts mean, how can we imagine a world full of them?   That’s one of the questions that today’s guest asks - and answers - through her new book, Of Greed and Glory, which takes a look at her brother’s incarceration in Angola and uses that as a jumping-off point to ask some larger questions that, in all honesty, we need to be asking ourselves if we really want to be engaged in this fight.    After you listen to this episode, please tell several friends about it, and look to support people doing this work in your community. As always, we’d love to hear what resonates with you - please do reach out and let us know.   What to listen for: How incarcerating an individual is actually incarcerating a family Does America even want to be a democracy anymore? The master-slave dynamic – including how that shows up in patriarchy, and yes, why we believe women understand the significance of this conversation.  Hello, Dear White Women podcast… How American enterprises are built on the same model as the slave plantation slate.  Corporate America, we’re looking at you. What we can do to start changing the system About the author: DEBORAH G. PLANT is an African American and Africana Studies Independent Scholar, Writer, and Literary Critic specializing in the life and works of Zora Neale Hurston. She is the editor of the New York Times bestseller Barracoon: The Story of the Last “Black Cargo” by Zora Neale Hurston and the author of Alice Walker: A Woman for Our Times, a philosophical biography. She is also the editor of The Inside Light: New Critical Essays on Zora Neale Hurston, and the author of Zora Neale Hurston: A Biography of the Spirit and Every Tub Must Sit On Its Own Bottom: The Philosophy and Politics of Zora Neale Hurston. She holds MA and Ph. D. degrees in English from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and traveled to Benin as a Fulbright-Hays fellow. Plant played an instrumental role in founding the University of South Florida’s Department of Africana Studies, where she chaired the department for five years. She presently resides in Florida. To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

1/30/24 • 30:10

It can be as simple - and meaningful - as picking up a fiction novel, reading it, and discussing it with your book club. Because once you see, hear, and learn, we don’t think you’ll ever be able to “go back to how it used to be.” You’ll change. You’ll do things differently. You’ll make ripple effects happen. Change is not a one-size-fits-all phenomenon, nor is change-making. More often than not, it starts small, local, and with just one intentional action. Today we bring you just that book that we recommend you read with your book club in 2024. The fabulous co-authors of Rebecca Not Becky, Christine Platt, and Catherine Wigginton Green, drew on both their lived experiences and their work as DEI advocates to bring you all a relatable story that will impact the way you see the world, no matter who you are!   What to listen for: Why this book is different - written by DEI practitioners from a Black and white perspective What the authors found most challenging and surprising about writing the book The unexpected feedback the authors are receiving so far How helpful it is to write and post real, positive reviews on works like this About the authors: Both live in Washington, DC.   CHRISTINE PLATT writes literature for children and adults that centers on African diasporic experiences—past, present, and future. She holds Bachelor and Master of Arts degrees in African and African American studies as well as a Juris doctorate in general law. She currently serves as Executive Director for Baldwin For The Arts.   CATHERINE WIGGINTON GREENE is a writer and filmmaker whose storytelling focuses on strengthening human connection and understanding. Her feature documentary “I’m Not Racist . . . Am I?” continues to be used throughout the US as a teaching tool for starting racial dialogue. A graduate of Coe College and Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism, Catherine is currently pursuing her doctorate from The George Washington University’s Graduate School of Education and Human Development. To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.  

1/16/24 • 40:34

Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu! Happy New Year!   We like to split this episode, one we have done every year at this time of year for the last four years, into two parts – reflections and projections. You’ll want to listen so you don’t miss how to stay involved in what’s next for us, the podcast, and 2024 as a whole.   What to listen for: Our history, identities, and what we’ve learned in 2023, including huge successes through the year How to submit ideas for episode topics in 2024 & book us for speaking gigs: contact us at hello@dearwhitewomen.com Stats around how Trump is looking increasingly like a dictator and how we must be vigilant in our own communities and have conversations to further our shared democratic goals About us:  A graduate of Harvard College and Columbia Law School, Misasha Suzuki Graham (she/her) has been a practicing litigator for over 15 years, and is passionate about diversity, equity, and inclusion in the legal profession as well as in her communities. She is a facilitator, writer, and speaker regarding issues of racial justice, especially regarding children, the co-author of Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism, and the co-host of Dear White Women, a social justice podcast. Misasha, who is biracial (Japanese and White), is married to a Black man and is the proud mom of two very active multiracial young boys. They live in the Bay Area of California with their largely indifferent cat. Sara Blanchard (she/her) helps build community and connection through conscious conversations, which she does as a facilitator, TEDx speaker, writer, and consultant. After graduating from Harvard and working at Goldman Sachs, Sara pursued the science and techniques of well-being and is a certified life coach, author of two books (Flex Mom and Dear White Women: Let’s Get (Un)comfortable Talking About Racism), and co-host of Dear White Women, an award-winning weekly social justice podcast. Sara is biracial (Japanese and White), married to a White Canadian man, and is raising their two White-presenting girls to be compassionate, thoughtful advocates. They live in Denver, Colorado with their incredibly lovable dog.

1/2/24 • 32:07

One of the things that we find most rewarding about our own journeys in anti-racism, racial justice, and social justice is when we come across practitioners who come from a similar framework that we do (heart-centered, humanity first, believe people when they tell you their stories, and all of those things) but also challenge us to think more broadly, or more deeply, about these topics in powerful ways. Our guest today does all of that and more.   Naomi Raquel Enright is a DEI practitioner, Ecuadorian and Jewish, a mother, sister, daughter, and so many more things - and all of these identities influence how she views the world, especially when she thinks about raising her son. It was an honor to be able to talk about raising multiethnic children with her today, especially with her clear focus on the systems that keep us trapped in a narrative about race that helps zero people in the end. We hope that you sit with what she says, and think about how you frame your understanding of families, systems, and individuals as a result.   What to listen for:  How being raised as the daughter of an Ecuadorian mother and white father shaped Naomi’s perspectives in raising her son What to think about when assuming things about other families – in particular, whether someone is or isn’t a certain child’s mother – and what that felt like to be on the receiving end of The reasoning behind some new-to-us phrasing – “presumed to be white” instead of “white-presenting” or “passing for white” and “multi-ethnic” instead of “multiracial/biracial”  Some thoughts on raising children the world presumes to be white, and what white families can do better About Naomi:   Naomi Raquel Enright is a writer, educator, and consultant based in Brooklyn, NY. She is also a National SEED (Seeking Educational Equity and Diversity) Facilitator and a New York Appleseed board member. Raised in New York City, she was born in La Paz, Bolivia to an Ecuadorian mother and a Jewish-American father, and is a native speaker of English and Spanish.  She holds a BA in Anthropology from Kenyon College and studied at the Universidad de Sevilla, Spain. She writes about racism and identity, loss, and parenting. Her essays have appeared in several publications including Hold The Line Magazine, Family Story, Role Reboot, Streetlight Magazine, among others, and in the anthologies, The Beiging of America (2017), Sharing Gratitude (2019) and Streetlight Magazine 2021 (2022). She has been interviewed on a number of podcasts, including Global Citizenship & Equity, Inclusion School, War Stories from the Womb, The Mixed Creator, and Project 25. Her essay The Hidden Curriculum, received an Honorable Mention in Streetlight Magazine’s 2021 Essay/Memoir Contest. Her book, Strength of Soul (2Leaf Press; University of Chicago Press), was published in April 2019.   Read Naomi’s written work: Strength of Soul The Hidden Curriculum  

12/19/23 • 54:18

When you think about the holidays, what image comes to mind? Sitting around a holiday table with friends and family? Spending time with loved ones? Watching some holiday movies, sipping hot cocoa, and all the warm holiday fuzzies?   Or is your reality more like that of a lot of Americans, especially this 2023 holiday season: uncomfortable or downright hostile conversations with members of your family who feel VERY differently about you on polarizing topics, which could include politics, social justice, the economy, democracy, genocide, and so much more?   Most importantly, what are we supposed to do about this? Are we supposed to, as the New York Times suggest in their “How to Avoid Awkward Conversations” piece in mid-November, first try and “stifle those conversations”? That doesn’t seem very realistic, because let’s face it, your racist uncle is going to say what he wants to say, regardless of how many times you try to steer him towards “safe” topics.   Here at the podcast, we don’t think people want to avoid having uncomfortable conversations - they just don’t know HOW to have them. More than anything, people want practical tips.   Because let’s face it - we are in an extremely dark period both as a country and on a global level, we have what may be the most contentious election in our lifetime next year (I know, we said this in 2020 - we stand corrected), and we’re still going to be gathering with people over the next year. We think these conversations will only ramp up in frequency, tone, and seriousness going forward.   So in this episode, we’re going to be sharing tons of tools that you need to have those uncomfortable conversations with family, with friends, and even yourself now through 2024. Please share your best tips with us, as well!   What to listen for:  Tips for before, during, and after your holiday gatherings A selection of these tips include: knowing yourself and your why,  setting healthy boundaries,  using our favorite question “what do you mean by that?”  using “I statements,” with lots of specific examples questions you can use to reflect on what worked / didn’t work after the event. You’ll want to listen to the short episode to get the whole range of how to use these tips and more! To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

12/5/23 • 24:58

If you heard our last episode on the myths surrounding Black-on-Asian crime, you heard that narratives pitting one historically marginalized community against another is a tactic sometimes used to distract us from the real enemy that we all should be focused on (hint: it’s white supremacy). It helps when we deconstruct the facts and look at real studies to dispel those myths – and helps, even more, when we get the opportunity to listen to stories of people who live the Black and Asian experience as a multiracial American, when we hear their heart-centered experiences from start to end.   That’s why we are so excited to share our conversation with Ryan Alexander Holmes, who’s not only an amazing actor (and king of hilarious reels on Instagram), but also someone who has thought deeply about race, identity, trauma, healing, and so much more. We believe that there’s something in this conversation for EVERYONE, regardless of how you identify, as it focuses on humanity first above all else.   What to listen for: Our “secret superhero” names - and what our names mean to us The impact of growing up in a conservative wealthy area, as one of the only African American families, and how Ryan claimed community and belonging anyway How to find humor in (your own) culture, reorient your sense of validation, and speak your truth What Ryan wants people to know about the misperceptions around Black on Asian crime (hint: it’s not real) The importance of radical empathy and how to heal from racial trauma About Ryan: Ryan Alexander Holmes is an actor and content creator based in Los Angeles, known for his strong presence on social media where he uses comedy and writing to explore and embrace his mixed Chinese/African American heritage. He aims to inspire others of mixed backgrounds to embrace their identity and showcase the strength in multiculturalism.  You can find more information at ryanalexanderholmes.com/ and follow him on Instagram @ryanalexh. To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

11/21/23 • 38:39

  You know the viral videos - the ones showing Black people, usually men, attacking unsuspecting Asian folks, usually elderly Asians. These are atrocious, awful incidents of course.  We don’t want anybody to be harmed.  AND, since we can hold two thoughts in our heads at the same time, we also need to state that these viral videos are giving us an inaccurate impression of anti-Asian hate. For example, it turns out, according to a University of Maryland, College Park study, that most anti-Asian hate crimes are committed by white people, NOT Black people. Significantly so – more than three-quarters of offenders of anti-Asian hate crimes and incidents, from both before and during the pandemic, have been white.   We want to have this conversation as part of our mixed race Asian arc, focusing on what we believe should be a point of solidarity but has instead been misunderstood to be a divisive issue with regard to Black and Asian Americans, with actual data as a reminder for all of us – that we need to train ourselves to pause when we see narratives that pit one historically marginalized group against another historically marginalized group, and ask ourselves if they’re true, because they’re often serving simply as a distraction to change the conversation, to move it away from the “real” enemy - white supremacy.  Dismantling white supremacy is where all of us - Asians, Black folks, white folks, and more – need to keep our energy focused.   What to listen for: Hate crime statistics - which show that even through the rise of anti-Asian hate through to the Covid years, there were still more anti-Black hate crimes than anti-Asian hate crimes. Perpetrators of hate crimes are predominantly white, as confirmed by multiple studies – NOT people of color, contrary to misperception due to viral videos Why is there this erroneous narrative of Black on Asian crime?   Taking apart the idea of white adjacency, and challenging more people of Asian descent to stand in solidarity against the common enemy -- white supremacy. Examples of Black and Asian solidarity throughout history. To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com. Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations! Like what you hear?  Don’t miss another episode and subscribe! Catch up on more commentary between episodes by following us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter – and even more opinions and resources if you join our email list.

11/7/23 • 27:10

When we’re asked to do anti-bias talks at corporations, we’re sometimes asked by the different ERGs if we’re comfortable talking about LGTBQIA+ issues - and we answer with our truth, which is that we are both cisgender, heterosexual women who use she/her pronouns.  Nobody in our families is LGBTQIA+.  So while the skill sets to tackle bias are related, we prefer to give the floor to folks who can speak from firsthand experience and knowledge. Enter our incredible conversation partner today - Schuyler Bailar, who many of you may know as @pinkmantaray.  We’ve been following him on Instagram, and his new book He/She/They is now on our short list of Best Books to Recommend Ever due to its practical structure and the fact that it’s full of questions he’s received about being transgender.  Just like the videos and workshops and all the work that he does, it’s accessible, not shaming; it’s factual, personal and so very meaningful. And bonus - he fits right into our multiracial Asian arc, as a mixed-race Korean and white American! Remember, your LGBTQIA+ friends are not here to educate you; this isn’t their job. Schuyler has chosen to take on this role, so listen to this episode, read the book, watch his informative factual social media videos and make sure you’re doing the work yourself to be a better, more understanding human being!    What to listen for: Intersectionality, and Schuyler’s own experience growing up biracial   The importance of exploring why you are who you are, for ALL of us, when it comes to gender  The quick take-down of the arguments from people working to push trans women out of women’s sports A bullet-pointed list of what NOT to say to transgender folks (timestamp 24.07 - 28.30) How to remind yourself of joy and a sense of thriving in the world, when it gets rough What Schuyler wants cisgender, heterosexual women to do differently, once you listen to the episode  Make sure you sign up for our email list and follow us on Instagram @dearwhitewomenpodcast so you get the two bonus questions we asked Schuyler!      About Schuyler: Schuyler Bailar (he/him) is the first transgender athlete to compete in any sport on an NCAA Division 1 men’s team. By 15, he was one of the nation’s top - 20 15-year-old breast-strokers. By 17, he set a national age-group record. In college, he swam for Harvard University, on Harvard’s winningest team in 50 years. Schuyler’s difficult choice – to transition while potentially giving up the prospect of being an NCAA Champion – was historic. His story has appeared everywhere from 60 Minutes to The Washington Post. Schuyler’s tireless advocacy has earned him numerous honors including LGBTQ Nation’s Instagram Advocate for 2020. In 2021, Schuyler also released his first middle-grade novel, Obie Is Man Enough. And in 2022, Schuyler created LaneChanger.com making gender literacy education accessible to every team, school, and company.   Follow Schuyler on Instagram @pinkmantaray   

10/24/23 • 43:56

You heard us talking with Alex Chester-Iwata the other week on the show, who is third-generationJapanese American, and was the first family member in decades to visit Japan.  So, maybe like some of you listening, she has no direct experience with immigration – your family feels like it’s “always been here” in America.   That experience that Alex has of being mixed Asian is really different than what Misasha and Sara grew up with, as daughters of Japanese immigrant parents - we grew up visiting our parents’ extended families in Japan and feeling kind of at home in a different country.   It got us wondering… what IS the impact of immigration on the Asian American experience?  Can we explore how the psychological impact of immigration may be a missing part of the discussion when it comes to deconstructing common stereotypes that folks have here of Asians?  And how might that impact the mixed Asians in America today?   What to listen for:  Immigration stats – Asians now represent 6% of the total U.S. population and are the fastest-growing population segment, with 103% growth between 2000-2023.   Immigration history – and how the Hart-Cellar Act of 1965 (so recent!) finally opened the doors to immigration from Asian countries. Undocumented immigrant misperceptions – there are 1,734,600 undocumented immigrants from Asia and the Pacific Islands,17 percent of the total undocumented population living in the United States.  Yet we focus on those from our southern borders. The psychological pressures to know that may impact the perception of Asians in America.  Assimilation, language, food, and more. New vocabulary to know – “ethno-racialization”  To give us input on what you want from our newsletter, and/or share your Asian immigration stories, reach us via email at hello@dearwhitewomen.com.      

10/10/23 • 24:12

When you turn on the TV or open a book, or look for memes on the Internet… how easy is it to find someone who looks like you? Your family? Because it’s never been that easy for us. So when today’s guest, who started her own media company called Mixed Asian Media out of her OWN frustration over not being represented out there, came across our radar, we immediately wanted to know all about her, her company, and her vision of what being mixed Asian is in today’s society, media, and our own journeys.   We couldn’t wait to have this chat with Alex Chester-Iwata, as today we get VERY real about growing up mixed Asian in the United States, belonging in Asian spaces, the questions that White, Asian, and other monoracial (listen in to find out more about THAT word) people ask biracial and multiracial individuals that we REALLY wish you wouldn’t, and so much more. This episode continues our look into what it means to be biracial and multiracial in this country, and even if that’s not you, we guarantee that someone you know is living this experience. This is about all of us.   What to listen for: Our latest thoughts on representation in the media, and what led to the formation of Mixed Asian Media How to make spaces more explicitly welcoming of multiracial people. Why we love the term “monoracial” - and what we want more monoracial folks to know about what NOT to ask multiracial folks. About Alex Chester-Iwata:   Alex the Founder/CEO of Mixed Asian Media - A website and community for mixed APIs, recognized by the Nielsen Consumer Report on AAPIs. Alex received the 2023 Women of Distinction of Assembly 69th of California award and last year was one of the Asian Hustle Network’s top 50 Unsung Heros. Alex received her BA in 2021 from St. Mary’s College she graduated with honors and received the Dean’s Award for community engagement and academic excellence. Alex is a board member of ACE Next Gen's NYC Chapter and is on the Board of Directors for the American Advertising Federation LA. She is a community leader for the Lunar Collective and she is also part of the 2023 Jews of Color cohort The Workshop, she also serves on the advisory board of her alma mater St. Mary's LEAP Program, and is a member of Gold House and is part of their inaugural Journalism Accelerator Program Alex is also an Actor. Some acting credits include Broadway’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Gillian in This Space Between Us Off Broadway’s Keen Company. TV credits include New Amsterdam, The Good Fight, and The Closer, to name a few. @AlexFChester @MixedAsianMedia

9/26/23 • 46:51

DEAR WHITE WOMEN -  Multiracial Asians - it’s time to get personal  Why is talking about the multiracial identity and deconstructing the misperception of the Asian monolith important and relevant to you listening, if you’re not multiracial? Several things. Census information - over 10% of the population identifies as multi-racial, but will changing demographics be enough to combat racism?  We don’t think so. Belonging matters - and if we’re to create a thriving society, how do we ensure that multi-racial people belong?  Legislation - and why we are where we are as a country.  Interracial marriages were only made legal in 1967 - 56 years ago!!    Listen this fall for personal stories from your two biracial - Japanese and white - hosts, Sara & Misasha as they interview some must-know multi-racial folks, deconstruct history and misperceptions like the model minority myth and the false narrative of Black-on-Asian crimes, examine the power of advocacy and change and more in this powerful arc they’re kicking off on the Dear White Women podcast, a show that’s been running for 4.5 years.  Follow Dear White Women so you don’t miss these conversations!  

9/12/23 • 16:34

We do this work for our kids, and for ourselves.  And when we talk about this work, there are a lot of spheres we need to change to make this world better for said kids - including schools, kitchen tables, policing and the false idea of law & order, public services, government, and the workplace. And, to focus on workplaces for a second, we always talk about how when we discuss racism, we’re talking about the SYSTEMS that run our society – but we also make it really clear that systems are made up of people, and so if we don’t take the time to do some inner work, we won’t be making changes to the systems that’ll be meaningful and sustainable.    That’s why we love this discussion we’re about to bring you, about reimagining inclusion in the workplace.  It was really a fantastic action-oriented book that lays out practical things that you can do in the workplace to help uproot systemic racism, literally things you can start doing differently TODAY.  And you know how much we love practical action-oriented things - it sort of reminded me of our own book’s listen/learn/act framework! Plus, we are huge fans of Mita Mallick, who if you aren’t following on LinkedIn already, you should be.  So listen in, and if you like what you hear, go on and do two things - order the book Reimagine Inclusion, and then go tell someone at work about Mita’s work so you can bring her into your organization and deepen the change!   What to listen for: How Reimagine Inclusion is different from other books on DEI in the workplace Some of the 13 myths that Mita deconstructs How we should frame the role of white men and women in this work Where the cultures of companies seem to be headed right now   About Mita:  Mita Mallick is a corporate change-maker with a track record of transforming businesses. She gives innovative ideas a voice and serves customers and communities with purpose. She has had an extensive career as a marketer in the beauty and consumer product goods space, being a fierce advocate of including and representing Black and Brown communities. She is the author of Reimagine Inclusion: Debunking 13 Myths to Transform Your Workplace, being published by Wiley in October 2023.   Her passion for inclusive storytelling led her to become a Chief Diversity Officer, to build end-to-end inclusion ecosystems across big and small organizations. Mallick has brought her talent and expertise to companies like Carta, Unilever, Pfizer, AVON, Johnson & Johnson and more. She’s a sought-after speaker and coach to start-up founders, executives, and public CEOs. She is also the co-host of the popular podcast, The Brown Table Talk, part of the LinkedIn Podcast Network. On the Brown Table Talk, Mita and Dee Marshall share stories and tips on how to help Women of Color win at work, and advice for allies on how they can show up.   Mallick is a LinkedIn Top Voice, a contributor for Harvard Business Review, Adweek, Entrepreneur, and Fast Company. Mallick has been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Time magazine, Forbes, Axios, Essence, Cosmopolitan magazine, and Business Insider. She was featured in a documentary created by Soledad O’Brien Productions for CBS News entitled: Women in the Workplace and the Unfinished Fight for Equality. Mallick holds a B.A. from Barnard College, Columbia University, and an M.B.A. from Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business. She lives in New Jersey, US, with her husband and two children.  

8/29/23 • 25:57

They say never meet your heroes, but we’re so glad we got to meet two of ours, as they gave us the shot of hope at the end of our conversation that we all need, considering everything that’s happening around us currently.  To be honest, we had been looking forward to this conversation ever since David Louie (Episode 212, if you want to go back and listen) made this introduction, and it was everything we had hoped it would be. Not only because Doug Jones and Bill Baxley are legal powerhouses, but also because they were just two men, doing what they believed to be right, because perhaps they were the only ones who could have fought this fight.  And that - the power of one, standing in your beliefs and speaking up for those who cannot - is something we should all carry with us from this conversation.   What to listen for:  How two white men growing up in the South came to their belief in and advocacy of equal justice  The role that witnesses - especially the white wives of Klans members - played in the various trials, both in positive and negative ways What these lawyers would say to people who diminish the ongoing impact of systemic racism, and claim that “slavery happened so long ago”... The most powerful way young people can do so that lawmakers hear their voices About Doug Jones:  A celebrated prosecutor who brought long-overdue justice to the victims of the 16th Street Baptist Church bombing, Doug has built his career on fighting impossible battles. In 2017, he shocked the political establishment by winning a special election to fill a U.S. Senate seat in Alabama—the first Democrat to do so in 25 years in the state. On Capitol Hill, he quickly built a reputation as a well-regarded and effective legislator, passing more than two dozen bipartisan bills into law in just three years.  Doug’s first job after graduating from Cumberland School of Law at Samford University was as staff counsel to the U.S. Senate Committee on the Judiciary for Sen. Howell Heflin (D-AL). Following his stint in Washington, he served as an assistant U.S. attorney from 1980 to 1984. Doug left government service in 1984 and was in the private practice of law in Birmingham, Alabama, until President Bill Clinton nominated him to the position of U.S. attorney for the Northern District of Alabama. His nomination was confirmed by the Senate in November 1997, and he served as U.S. attorney until June 2001. It was while serving in that position that he successfully prosecuted 2 of the 4 men responsible for the 1963 bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church—finally bringing full justice and closure nearly 40 years after the attack that killed four young girls. Along with taking on the Ku Klux Klan, he indicted domestic terrorist Eric Rudolph and prosecuted other criminals who sought to use fear, hatred, and violence to inhibit the rights of others. Doug is the author of Bending Toward Justice: The Birmingham Church Bombing that Changed the Course of Civil Rights which recounts a key moment in our long national struggle for equality and the successful prosecution of two Ku Klux Klan members 40 years later. In 2022, Doug was selected by President Joe Biden to be the Nomination Advisor for Legislative Affairs to help to guide the selection, nomination, and successful confirmation of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court of the United States. In this role, Doug continued to upon the important relationships he had established while in Congress to help gain bipartisan support for the President’s nominee.  Today, Doug is of Counsel with ArentFox Schiff, a Senior Distinguish Fellow with the Center for American Progress, and is involved in a variety of different political and civic organizations. Doug resides in Birmingham, AL with his wife, Louise, and dogs, Scout and Dakota. He has three children Courtney (married to Rip Andrews), Carson, and Christopher as well as two grandchildren, Ever and Ollie.  About Bill Baxley:  Bill Baxley was elected Attorney General at age 28. Remarkably, he was already a seasoned prosecutor, having tried dozens of jury trials as District Attorney in Houston and Henry counties. He served as Alabama's Attorney General from 1971 to 1979 and its Lieutenant Governor from 1983 to 1987. As Attorney General, Bill served as lead trial counsel in every major action on the State's behalf, civil and criminal. He aggressively prosecuted them all. He appointed the state's first African-American assistant attorney general, who later became a federal judge. His successful prosecution of Ku Klux Klansman Robert Chambliss for the 1963 bombing of Birmingham's Sixteenth Street Baptist Church is featured in the Spike Lee documentary, 4 Little Girls. His legal accomplishments are also documented in Lay Down with Dogs, Until Justice Rolls Down, and numerous other publications. Throughout his career, Bill Baxley has served in the Alabama Army National Guard, beginning as an enlisted clerk and rising through the ranks to retire as Colonel, JAG Corps. He has successfully represented clients in the United States Supreme Court, the Alabama Supreme Court, and in appellate and trial courts over which they exercise jurisdiction. He primarily represents large business corporations yet continues to represent individuals of modest means. Those efforts have earned him the distinction of being selected as a Fellow in the International Academy of Trial Lawyers as well as being recognized by his peers as a Super Lawyer.   Also: Listen to Episode 31: Birmingham Church Bombings – How Did We Get Here on Dear White Women for a historic look at this tragedy

8/15/23 • 48:48

If you know us, you know that we love to focus on our shared humanity - in other words, the threads that bind us together, those common traits regardless of anything else, the things that make us human, after all. And so when we discovered our next guest, we felt like we found a kindred spirit - after all, his whole platform is called The Humanity Archive.   If you, as we do, believe in the power of humanity, in telling everyone’s stories, and being sure that those stories that we may not have learned in our own classes and schools growing up are being told now - especially for the sake of our children - then you’re going to want to listen to our conversation with Jermaine Fowler, read his book The Humanity Archive, and please, share your thoughts with us once you do!   What to listen for: How the love of a library shaped a budding historian’s future The central premise of humanity and how it is a thread throughout all of our histories The whitewashing of American history – and the role Black scholars have played in re-orienting the truth About Jermaine:  Jermaine Fowler is a New York Times Bestselling Author and public historian who founded The Humanity Archive, a media company that uses history to explore the stories of humanity. His work sheds light on the unsettling history and current realities of poverty, racism, and educational inequality in post-industrial cities. Jermaine offers hope by studying traditions of excellence that connect us and push us toward a better world. He teaches us how history can be a powerful tool for transformational change, uncovering our blind spots and features voices and perspectives traditionally erased from the past.  

8/1/23 • 29:27