Fight For Love

This week's episode is an intimate conversation between Rosie Makinney and her husband, Mark, as they dive straight into the spiritual heart of pornography addiction. No punches are pulled in their conversation as they tackle the spiritual root of addiction, and the need for individuals to fully surrender control and rely on God for recovery. Drawing from their own crazy story, their love for the stories of C.S.Lewis, and many years of working in the trenches with couples in recovery, Mark and Rosie reframe this painful and difficult journey as a potential source of unexpected and tremendous blessings. This is one to enjoy with your partner! www.fightforloveministries.org www.markmakinney.com  

10/31/23 • 46:34

Are you concerned about how to raise your children in today's hypersexualized culture? In this episode of "Fight For Love," host Rosie Makinney welcomes guest Barb Winters, an expert in promoting healthy relationships. They dive deep into the challenges parents face, such as discovering their children's engagement in undesirable behaviors like sending nudes,  and watching pornographic videos. Barb and Rosie acknowledge the difficulties parents encounter and emphasize the importance of setting boundaries and consequences while being present and available for their children. They shed light on the alarming reality that children are not only preyed upon by the pornography industry but are also victims. To confront this issue, the conversation turns to the significance of starting conversations about the dangers of pornography from a young age. They discuss the importance of understanding the devices children have access to and having calm conversations about their behavior to alleviate fear of judgment or punishment. Barb shares a personal story about her son's involvement with pornography and the steps they took as a family to address it.  Barb's book Sexpectations is a valuable resource, providing insights into what a healthy relationship looks like and practical advice for what to do when your kids have been exposed to porn. Share this episode with the parents of your children's friends as an easy way to open up the discussion and get on the same page.

9/26/23 • 36:35

Are you struggling to understand your husband's behavior and suspect that he may have a mood or personality disorder? In this episode, Rosie is joined by Julie St.Onge, an expert on mental health and addiction, to dive into the importance of mental health screenings and how they can impact the journey of recovery from addiction. Julie discusses the different types of mood and personality disorders, including sociopathy, histrionic behavior, narcissism, borderline personality disorder, and ADD, and also explains how these disorders can affect behavior, emotions, and attachment styles. Listening to this episode will provide you with valuable insights and a deeper understanding of the potential underlying issues that may be contributing to your husband's actions. Julie offers practical advice on navigating these complex challenges, including the need for long-term therapy and the importance of comprehensive evaluations, such as psych evaluations and MMPI tests.  Today's episode is all about giving you the clarity and tools you need to support your husband and make informed decisions about your future.  https://outofthefog.website/ https://newenglandcoachingservices.com/ https://fightforloveministries.org/  

9/19/23 • 25:53

Today, Tim Muehlhoff, author, speaker and professor of communication at Biola University, joins Rosie on the show to delve into the fascinating topic of Spiritual Warfare in marriage, especially in marriages struggling because of a pornography addiction. In this episode they discuss the tactics of Satan and look at all the ways he attempts to discourage and divide us. Praying warfare prayers does have to be complicated or scary, it's all a matter of understanding your authority, or rather whose authority you represent.  Grab your sword, and your coffee, and take a listen!  Defending Your Marriage book Join the Fight For Love Facebook group

9/12/23 • 37:54

Joining Rosie today to tackle the bewildering and overwhelming topic of having your husband arrested for illegal sexual acting out are Jen, Rebecca and Lynn. In this extended episode we cover how to: Cope in the early days following a shocking, and often public, discovery, Make the decision whether to stay in the relationship, Deal with people talking about you and giving unwanted advice.  Manage day to day when your husband is not around, Best help your children. Create a recovery plan after release.  And even though it is hard to listen to the pain and devastation that this addiction causes, the hope and faith that these ladies share towards the end of the episode is truly redemptive and beautiful. Join the private FB group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/FightForLoveFellowship

3/28/23 • 82:35

If you feel like your sexual identity has been shattered following betrayal, it's hard to imagine ever feeling positive towards sex again. Here to help us tackle this sensitive and painful topic is author/coach/founder of StrongWives,  and co-host of the popular Sex Chat for Christian Wives Podcast,  Bonny Burns.  In today's conversation we look at how betrayal ruptures our sexual identity and the steps you can take to reclaim it.  Sexual Clarity Group with Bonnie Unlocking Your Orgasm book   

3/21/23 • 36:14

When you are dating someone who is struggling with pornography evaluating whether you have a long term future together is complex and tricky.  To help us tackle this difficult decision we have broken it down into 3 parts: Step 1 - Evaluating your own Struggle with Singledom Step 2: Understanding the reality of marrying a porn addict  Step 3 - Assessing the strength of your partner's recovery and long term likelihood of sobriety.  Joining Rosie on the show today to explore step 1 is the founder and director of SheRecovery.com, Crystal Renaud Day who has written the immensely helpful guide to singleness and dating Dating Done Right. Written as the guide she had always searched for as a single Christian living in the aftermath of the purity culture, Crystal shares the value of pursuing contentment right where you are, which will in turn give you the best chance of discerning exactly who the right husband is for you. If you would like to be considered to be part of the next podcast panel sharing your experience of dating a porn addict,  whether you decided to go ahead and get engaged/married or not, we would love to hear from you. Email rosie@fightforloveministries.org and leave a brief voice mail telling her what you think women in this situation need to hear.   

3/7/23 • 47:29

If you have ever felt deep in your bones that there is something dreadfully wrong with the way the world AND the church think about sex, then this episode is a MUST LISTEN. Returning to the show is clinical psychologist and founder of Authentic Intimacy, Dr. Juli Slattery, to talk about her mind-blowing and paradigm-shifting new book ‘God Sex and Your Marriage.’ Juli brings a much needed perspective, reframing our painful sex lives and helping us understand how the pursuit of true sexual intimacy begins not in the bedroom but in the throne room. Eminently relatable and practical, Juli’s words of wisdom are just the tonic for anyone who feels stuck and demoralized about their sex life.   Buy Juli's Book God Sex and Your Marriage Authentic Intimacy Buy Rosie's Book Fight For Love Fight For Love Website https://www.podcastics.com/episode/39830/link/  

2/28/23 • 44:59

Today in the second part of our divorce panel, we get down to brass tacks and discuss what the process of getting divorced looked like for Ruth, Tami and Jen. We talk about finding the right legal help, other forms of support, timelines, and knowing best when to try and negotiate things on your own. Using their hard won wisdom, the panel share all the things that they wished someone had told them before they started travelling this path, and also what they have learnt about themselves and their relationship with God through this process.

2/21/23 • 51:47

Returning to the show to help unpack one of the most common questions we receive here at Fight For Love are Ruth, Jen and Tami. Deciding whether to hang in there for a bit longer or to call it quits is one of the most difficult decisions a betrayed partner can face. There are no easy answers, every situation is unique. However, there are common threads that can bring validation and clarity to those in the painful and confusing fog. Today our panelists take us through the emotional, mental and spiritual journey of deciding to get divorced, sharing all the things they learnt along the way with honesty and compassion. And for those of you desperate for a glimmer of hope, curl up somewhere cozy and listen in to these precious ladies describing what their life is like now compared to how it was before.       

2/14/23 • 48:48

Next time you get overwhelmed by feelings of inadequacy because you think you can't compete with the women in pornography, take 10 for yourself and listen to this.    Put a post it on your mirror that reminds you to look up every time you look in. The relief you seek from a broken covenant can never be found in your reflection, only in Christ. Take heart, God is using this deep pain of comparison to draw you into a deeper level of intimacy with Him. He is inviting you to bravely open that pressure valve, to look inside yourself, locate the pieces of your broken heart and hand them over. Remember, you don’t need to try harder to fix your outside, what you need is divine intervention to heal and restore your inside. Take a listen to Oxygen Mask #1 - When you don't feel Strong Enough  Fight For Love Website

2/7/23 • 09:55

For those of you who have struggled with pornography yourself, or have ever felt pressured by your partner to watch it with him or create images of yourself, this episode is for you. Jessica Harris is a leading voice and trail-blazer on the topic of female porn usage who shares with a level of honesty and insight that is literally shifting attitudes around the world. Jessica joins me today to talk about her own struggle with pornography and the invitation to grace that she found in the midst of her secret shame. And even if this isn't your own personal struggle, do take a listen as she gives ESSENTIAL guidance on how to help those you know who are dealing with this. Buy Jessica's book Quenched Connect with Jessica at her website Jessica's Instagram Buy Rosie's book Fight For Love  

1/31/23 • 50:20

If you need a shot in the arm of positivity and encouragement, this is the episode for you. Jennifer Hand is the equivalent of a storm chaser. Where others might pick up the phone and text in a donation, Jenn will pick up the phone and literally book a flight. In the aftermath of terrible tragedies Jenn can be found ministering on the ground, and equipping others to do the same. Wonderfully relatable, delightfully uncoordinated, and infectiously joyful, Jenn inspires and equips us to face the challenges of the season that we find ourselves in by reminding us of just who our God is.  My Yes Is On the Table - Buy the Book! https://comingaliveministries.com/ https://www.instagram.com/comingalivejenn/ To find further resources and join the free Fight For Love support group head on over to Fight For Love Ministries web page Fight For Love - Buy Rosie's Book!  

1/24/23 • 43:44

Empathy by the recovering addict for their betrayed partner is essential component of reconnecting and healing, but learning how to become empathetic takes work and practice. Joining me today to talk about her powerful Early Recovery Couples work is the wise and wonderful Carol Juergensen Sheets. With it's focus on developing those all important empathy skills, Carol's workbook Help Her Heal not only helps addicts understand what their betrayed partner is feeling but also lays out a roadmap for rebuilding lost trust and intimacy. Grab a cuppa, and get comfy for this hope filled conversation!  www.blogtalkradio.com/ betrayalrecoveryradio www.blogtalkradio.com/sexhelpwithcarolthecoach

10/26/21 • 42:29

We are know there is no silver bullet when it comes to preventing our loved ones from accessing porn, however today we introduce you to man whose company's mission is to get as close as possible. Using technology developed in Israel to scan for nudity in real time, Canopy offers a level of protection and range of features not yet seen in the US market.  Sean Clifford, CEO of Canopy invites Fight For Love listeners to be part of the next generation of this software, using our feedback to help thousands of other couples world wide!  BREAKING OFFER: To sign up use the promo code FIGHTFORLOVE at www.canopy.us for a free month and 20% off subscription (This is hot off the press so if the code doesn't work yet try again in a few days and it will be working.) Also make sure you are signed up at our newsletter at www.fightforloveministries.org so we can contact you with details of how to give feedback to Sean. Lastly, this is the last in the current season of Fight For Love. We are all taking a little break for a couple of months, but do not panic we have not gone anywhere and will be back with season 4 shortly. Use this time to get caught up on past episodes! 

9/21/21 • 28:14

Today we come alongside those of you who are feeling tempted to seek, or have already sought, comfort outside of your marriage to cope with the pain of being neglected and/or betrayed by your spouse . Christy Neal is an advocate for women who feel tainted and cast out after adultery. As the author of Don't Ever Tell and the podcast host of Everyone Has a Voice she is the catalyst for hope and healing she desperately needed but never found a decade ago after her own affair. 

9/7/21 • 55:57

If you feel crushed and broken by your partner's persistent emotional distance and neglect, this is the episode for you. Today we are so blessed to have Karen Rellos, Certified APSAT coach, Certified AASAT Intimacy Anorexia Coach and founder of Restored Hope Coaching &  Redeeming Love Marriage Ministry, with us to share her incredible story of finding her voice and restoring her marriage after years of soul-crushing emotional neglect and abuse. Grab a fluffy blanket, a cup of tea, a box of tissues and join us for this validating, honest and inspiring conversation. 

9/1/21 • 52:10

If you have ever felt invalidated, confused and manipulated,  found yourself second guessing your instincts, or had trouble making decisions, this episode is for you. Living with someone who is intentionally, or even unintentionally gaslighting, is a confusing, painful and lonely prison. Eroding your ability to connect with your authentic self, gaslighting steadily robs you of your self-worth and true power. Sarah Morales, relationship coach, host of Deconstructing Gaslighting™ podcast and speaker, joins me today to help you understand and identify gaslighting in your life and relationships.      

8/24/21 • 52:24

We keep talking about "Recovery" for partners and how important it is, but what does that actually mean? What will you actually be working on when you enter recovery, and why is it so important to find an experienced guide? Joining me today to give us a candid closeup of three stages of the healing process is Lisa Taylor, an APSAT trained Christian counselor specializing in sex addiction and betrayal trauma.  The Three Stages of Betrayal -Trauma Recovery: Stage 1 - Establishing Safety Stage 2 - Remembering & Mourning Stage 3 - Reconnecting To connect with Lisa, follow her research, and access her incredible blog www.beyondbetrayal.community Naked Truth Project To access Fight For Love resources, join the Fight For Love support group, download a free devotional for partners,  or purchase our Biblical Battleplan go to Fight For Love Website

8/17/21 • 62:59

A heartfelt message from me to you, my dear exhausted sister. A short exhortation to encourage and equip you to stand firm when the enemy tries to convince you that you are not strong enough for this fight.    Music credits Lucid by The Seraphim Project https://www.worshipstart.com/royalty-free-music/p/bg-horizon-by-hoyle-96wha-6krzg-yyxy6-ge9hl-44nr3-ax5j7-wggmy-25zrf-lf3d3-rfx3z-lzhaz-p9znc-3rs4w-hbrfw-yr8y4  Loop 4 by Soundology & Co https://www.worshipstart.com/royalty-free-music/p/bg-horizon-by-hoyle-96wha-6krzg-yyxy6-ge9hl-44nr3-ax5j7-wggmy-25zrf-lf3d3-rfx3z-lzhaz-p9znc-xbwl6-rhmza-3hcm9-d3b8l-p5l3p-8wdh5-cjptz-m5dgy-tpxdf-j75lh-3dp79-f66hr-l4mn9-r4rcj-2ws2d  Ancient Ones by Katie Overbeek https://www.worshipstart.com/royalty-free-music/p/bg-horizon-by-hoyle-96wha-6krzg-yyxy6-ge9hl-44nr3-ax5j7-wggmy-25zrf-lf3d3-rfx3z-lzhaz-p9znc-xbwl6-rhmza-3hcm9-d3b8l-p5l3p This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

8/10/21 • 08:10

Whether or not you have a daughter, this is a ministry that you need to put on your radar. From her unique perspective as a betrayed wife and daughter, and a Certified Pastoral Sexual Addiction Specialist, Kristin Cary of Living Truth shares a message of hope and help for those impacted by a parent's problematic sexual behavior. Plus you are not going to want to miss hearing about their unique and totally free support group for daughters between the ages of 15-30. For more information about Living Truth's Men in the Battle and Women in the Battle communities go to www.living-truth.org  Sign up for the next women's group just opened up! (as of 8/2/2021) To access Fight For Love resources click here  

8/3/21 • 29:26

If you are passionate about the topic of Human Trafficking, but the sheer scale of the problem leaves you feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed, this is a conversation that will hopefully turn things around for you.  In this episode Raleigh Sadler, Author, Founder & Executive Director of Let My People Go shares with Rosie how acknowledging our own vulnerability is key to being able to identify and come alongside the most vulnerable people in our community, those who are often hidden in plain sight behind our false assumptions about human trafficking.  Click here to buy Raleigh's book Vulnerability : Rethinking Human Trafficking Click here to be taken to the Fight For Love Website  

7/27/21 • 46:12

Whether you are newly divorced and thinking about dating again, or wanting to relaunch yourself in your marriage, Jenni Rochelle brings an inspiring message of hope and healing. With her contagious vibrancy, Jenni unpacks the daunting process of learning to trust again, and makes it seem possible for every women to embrace her own big sexy comeback. Don't forget to check out Jenni's podcast - Beauty after Betrayal and her 8-week Big Sexy Comeback Mentorship Group. Special offer for Fight For Love listeners : Use the code Worthy100 for a $100 discount!   Check out our resources at the Fight For Love website Come hang out with us at the Fight For Love Support Group

7/20/21 • 33:37

If you or your partner are currently in, or are thinking about signing up, for a Pure Desire group this is an episode you don't want to miss. Ashley Jameson, Author, Speaker and International Women's Group Coordinator, joins me today to chat through many of the questions and concerns that I have received from wives over the years about Pure Desire groups. Remember your job is not to fix your husband, but to help get him to a professional or a group who can. However, in order to do that, you need to know what to look out for in a good group. How can you tell if your husband is actually doing the work versus simply attending? What guidelines should his group be following? What tools should you, as his wife, be hearing about? 

7/13/21 • 62:58

Calling all of you who are feeling weary and hopeless, come, sit and be comforted and inspired by Matthew & Joanna Raabsmith as they take you through their practical and profound step-by-step approach to creating a beautiful biblical level of intimacy out of the ashes of betrayal and addiction.  With their unique and irresistible style, Matthew and Joanna take us on a journey through the stages of honesty, safety, trust, vulnerability and intimacy. This is one to listen to with your partner. This is why we FIGHT FOR LOVE! 

7/6/21 • 43:53

If you are curious about what really happens at a residential trauma intensive, take a listen to my conversation with Matt Wenger, Clinical Director of Boulder Recovery as he takes us behind the scenes at his 14-Day Intensive for men struggling with sex, porn, and relationship issues. The program uses the TINSA® treatment model (Trauma Induced Sexual Addiction) to heal the traumatic experiences and attachment wounds driving addictive behaviors and problematic thinking around sex and intimacy. Boulder Recovery is also the only Christian intensive in North America that includes support for partners impacted by the trauma of betrayal through online psychoeducation, care and interaction during the men’s intensive with a betrayal trauma specialist.  In this episode you will learn: How an intensive experience differs from weekly individual therapy What different healing modalities are used to treat trauma What actually happens during the different stages of the intensive What support for partners is available What is the best time to attend an intensive    Fight For Love Website Fight For Love Book Fight For Love Private Online Support Group

6/29/21 • 44:23

Dr Jake Porter, Licensed Professional Counselor, and founder and president of Daring Ventures, joins me today for a rich and deep dive into the brain of a betrayed partner. Drawing on his vast expertise in relational neurobiology and attachment theory, Jake compellingly explains the following: How betrayal trauma affects the brain Why triggers can feel overwhelming How you can begin to rebuild trust when your entire history feels like a lie. Why healing happens in relationships Why a full disclosure is essential What is couple-centered recovery How you and your partner can learn to co-regulate each other   Daring Ventures Website Sign up for the FREE 40 Day Connection Challenge Download the FREE Making Saves Tool   Fight For Love Website Fight For Love Fellowship - Private Facebook Group for Betrayed Partners     .      

6/22/21 • 56:58

If you are struggling with feeling like you will never measure up in your husband's eyes, this is the episode for you. In this exploration of this dreadfully painful subject we shoot you straight with both the reality of the problem and the solution. Although some parts of our conversation may be hard to hear, dragging everything into the light is the only way forward. The biblical truths that Heather Creekmore, (author, speaker, and host of Compared To Who podcast ), shares today hold life and power to set you free from this debilitating and life-sucking issue.  Connect with Heather at www.comparedtowho.me Fight For Love Website

6/15/21 • 46:35

If you have ever felt that small but insistent internal nudging to start your own group this is a conversation you don't want to miss. Donna Meredith Dixon from A Door Of Hope shares with us so many precious insights and wisdom about facilitating groups for betrayed partners, and introduces us to her unique 12 week peer facilitator training program. Topics we talk about include: What makes a good peer facilitator? Is it a natural or a learned skill, an art or a discipline? How do you hold in tension the needs of a group and the needs of the individual as the same time?  What roles does a facilitator undertake at different stages of the groups development? How do  you become more comfortable with uncomfortable situations?  What do you need to be thinking about before you start your group, and as you end? Is compassion fatigue a real thing?   Find out more about A Door of Hope Facilitator Training at www.lifeisahead.com To join the Fight For Love Facebook group click here. To see the Fight For Love website/resources click here. To buy the book Fight For Love click here.

6/8/21 • 47:50

Learning how to emotionally regulate yourself when you get triggered is a really useful skill in recovery. Today, partner coach Shawna Meek teaches us how to listen to what our bodies are trying to tell us, and shares techniques to help us bring our brains back on line and settle ourselves.  From her own experience of being married to an intimacy avoidant spouse, Shawna also shares the best way to help someone who is acting in instead of acting out. 

6/1/21 • 49:53